(Original Authors Notes)

Notes: Thanks to stevetheloser…if it weren't for him and his little comment, I wouldn't have pulled 'out of my butt' a quick little scene about school registration. On that note, I take all suggestions if people have any. I may not use all of them, but all opinions are welcome. By the way, when I woke up and was speaking to Arnold, I was going to say the word "world". Anyway, spent a fair bit on time revising this chapter, because the original version lacked…stuff.

Parody of an old hippie song "Where have all the reviewers gone…?" Hope you people are out there, the adventure just gets better and better! Oh, that sounded cheesy!

Disclaimer: I do own Hey Arnold!
I do own Hey Arnold!
I do own Hey Arnold!
I do own Hey Arnold!
All work and no play make jack a dull boy.
I do own Hey Arnold!
I do own Hey Arnold!
I do own Hey Arnold!
I do own Hey Arnold!
(Inside joke – if you watch The Simpsons you'll understand)

o----o

After a while the bus finally pulled up in front of Public School 118. I took a look at the grounds, pondering about all the events that happened, right here at this school, throughout the series.

"Stephen, hello, you gonna ride the bus downtown or what?"

"Huh?" in the midst of my daydreaming I had almost forgotten to get off the bus.

"Man Stephen, you're just like Arnold. Daydreaming all the time, totally off in space."

Arnold gave Gerald a half-lidded sarcastic look. We walked into the halls of PS 118, which were bursting with life from all different ages of kids. Small third graders all the way up to the big fifth and sixth graders. Down the hall I recognized Maria and Connie. To my left I saw Arnold's first love interest, airhead Ruth MacDougal. We continued to walk around until Arnold hit me with a question that caught me way off guard.

"Hey, I almost forgot, do you have your papers?"

"P-papers?" I replied.

"Yeah, you know, your registration papers."

"You didn't think you could just walk into the classroom and sit down and expect no one would notice." added Gerald. (Poking more fun at myself, cause that is originally what was going to happen!)

"Papers…oh yeah, papers…uh, yeah, I got my papers…I, uh…have to go down to see Mr. Wartz for those, I'll be right back." And with that I scooted off in a flash, leaving Arnold and Gerald in my dust. I had no idea what I was going to do – I had to think of something fast.

I quickly found Principal Wartz's office. 'Plan, I need a plan.' I thought. I scanned the surroundings of the hallway and saw Curly walking by. 'Score!'

"Psst. Hey, you."

Curly stopped and looked my way. "Who, me?"

"Yeah, come here."

"Who the heck are you?" he inquired.

"Quiet, they have spies everywhere." I knew that would get his attention.

"Who's they?"

"That's not important. The important thing here is that I was sent here from a higher power to protect you. They are after you."

Curly immediately played along with my charade "A-Ah! I knew it, I knew it all the time. I'll never let 'em take me down, never!"

"Okay good, now this is what I need you do to. I need you to create a distraction and get Wartz out of his office. He holds some important papers and I need to get my hands on them so I can complete my top secret mission."

"Hmm, yes, good plan. But what happens afterwards?"

"One of my associates will contact you before the week is out to give you the details of the top secret mission."

"Oh, sounds juicy, real underground type stuff. What type of distraction do you need? I got a whole list of 'em."

"It's up to you, but I need to get in there before the bell rings," I looked up at the clock on the wall, "and that's in five minutes! Go, go!"

And with that, Curly ran off while I waited behind the corner near Wartz's office. Seconds later, Curly came screaming down the hallways with a bunch of tetherballs.

"That's right Wartz, I got 'em all, all the balls! I have the power, I own this school now! Bhwaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Wartz threw open his door. "What the! Young man, halt in the name of PS 118!"

With staff and students looking on, I crept my way into Wartz's office and started to rummage around in his file folders.

"C'mon, c'mon, where are they!" I nervously flipped through folders and papers. "Permanent records, school budget, teachers lounge hidden camera photos?…bingo, student registration forms!"

I swiftly left Wartz's office unnoticed, and ran over to the nearest boy's washroom and hastily filled out the form, with all false and made up information of course. Hopefully I would be out of this world before my identity backfired on me. I walked as calmly as I could until I found classroom 206. It looked just as I thought it would, and it had the smell of…academics in it…or maybe that was the lemon cleaner the janitors used. It was kind of nice to be back in the fourth grade, even though it wasn't in my world, it was still pleasant. Just then Arnold came up to me.

"Hey Steve, what's up? You're all sweaty and out of breath."

"Uh, ah," I panted, "It's that crazy Curly kid, causing havoc down by Wartz's office, whipping tetherballs at everyone, total chaos!"

"Oh, so that must be why those medical guys are running down the hallway with a straightjacket."

Mr. Simmons noticed our presence at the doorway and got up from his desk and greeted us.

"Oh, hello there Arnold. W-who is this?"

"This is a new student," Arnold introduced. "Stephen-…uh, what is your last name?"

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." I said.

"Well, it's…"

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

Cut off by the bell. 'Damn it,' I thought 'so close.' The kids started to slowly flood into the classroom.

"Oh, you better take your seats fellas. And Stephen, I'm Mr. Simmons, the fourth grade teacher here at PS 118. I assume you have your papers in order."

"Nice to meet you. Here they are, sir."

"Well, what a gentleman. Let's see here…"

He scanned the papers slowly as I stood there in a cold sweat, hoping he wouldn't question anything.

"Everything looks okay here."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good. Um, where can I sit?"

"Oh, you can sit in the back there," he pointed. "And don't forget to seize this very special day!"

"Sure, I'll get right on that." I walked passed Arnold who was already in his seat and quickly whispered, "Is this guy for real?"

He just snickered and looked up at me with a confirming look. I walked up to the back and took my seat. I was in the same row as Arnold, just back two seats. As the other kids started to sit down I couldn't help but stare at them, thinking about the stories that have unfolded in their lives, things that only I knew of. It was so much fun knowing all their secrets, all their troubles. 'I could really cause some damage.' I thought. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted.

"Shove off toots, I'm walkin' here." a disgruntled little girl bellowed as she marched over to her seat. As she walked over to me, I quickly realized that her seat was the empty one in front of mine. I took a quick look at her, but she caught my eye. "Hey, who's the newbie?" she asked out loud.

Deciding to play it tough, I spoke up, "Why, who's askin?"

"You're that kid I saw on the bus. You think you're hot stuff, teabag?" she said in retaliation.

"Why don't you shut your pie hole Helga and take a seat." I said arms crossed.

She confronted me, hunched over my desk and looked at me straight in the eye. "How do you know my name?"

I cockily put my face up to hers until we were nose-to-nose, "I know a lot of things, Hel-ga. So don't tread in the deep end if you can't swim."

She slowly backed off, glaring at me with a confused, yet kind of fearful look on her face. I myself didn't know what I had just said, I just wanted to freak her out a little. Luckily she bought my threat and sat down.

Sid, who was on my left whispered to me, "Hey man, I've never seen someone shut up Helga like that before, way to go."

"Thanks man. It's a skill." I said. Looks like I had just made a friend.

o----o

Those clock hands had to be going backwards. The minutes up to the first recess were exasperating. You think being in fourth grade would have been easier for me since I had already been there. But that was ten years ago and the education system had changed a lot, even in this dimension. Plus I was out of high school for about a year when I got sucked into this place, so getting back into the grind of tests and keeping notes was a bit of a challenge. Finally after a long wait the recess bell rang and I practically leapt out of my seat.

"Oh thank god, I thought I was gonna die." I said as Arnold, Gerald and I walked out of the classroom to the playground. "I mean, how can a guy go on for an hour talking about how a Venus fly trap digests its food?"

"If you thought that was bad, he actually came dressed up as a pie to teach math one time, cause he wanted to make learning circumferences of circles fun. His catchphrase to the class: 'Math, easy as pie.'" Gerald complained.

"And then there was the time…-"

"Outta my way football head!" Helga blared as Arnold kissed the ground.

As Gerald and I helped Arnold up, I said, "Arnold, why do you let her push you around…literally."

"You just learn to live with it, I guess." he replied.

"Oh come on Arnold, don't you feel that you have to get back at her?" I said.

"Two wrongs don't make a right Steve." Arnold said as he opened the door outside to the playground.

"But three wrongs…" Gerald added with a smile.

"No, Gerald." He turned back to me. "I have tried numerous times to get back at her, and it doesn't make a difference. Like back last April – on the first of that month April Fool's jokes were flying everywhere, and Helga got me. So I decided to get back at her, so long story short…-"

"You guys danced a feisty tango and both ended up in the YMAA gym pool…" I stopped.

"How did you know…?"

"W-well, you know how it is Arnold, news gets around. As the new kid I have been somewhat informed of the things that have happened here at PS 118. Like the flood, Trash Can Day, et cetera, et cetera." 'Yeah, good cover up!' I thought.

"Well, whadda you guys wanna do?" Gerald asked. Both Arnold and I shrugged. There wasn't that much to do. My elementary school wasn't in the city; it was less urban and more rural, with grassy fields you could run in, with a baseball and soccer field and a big playground. But at PS 118 everything was fencing and concrete. There was a jungle gym, tetherball, monkey bars, swings and some faded hopscotch and 4-square court games painted on the ground. That was pretty much it.

"I dunno, you guys just wanna hang out on the jungle gym?" I asked.

"Sure." they both replied.

So there we were, just hanging out on the gym. I myself took this time to gawk around the landscape, looking at the kids playing, all doing their own thang. Rhonda was walking around with Nadine writing up fashion tickets for everyone, with Nadine paying more attention to the creepy crawlers on the ground. Park, Robert and Iggy were playing crazy eights. Brainy was somewhere lurking in the shadows. Eugene had somehow gotten himself tangled in the swings and Sheena was trying to help him out. Curly was stalking Rhonda with a pair of binoculars, and Helga was with Phoebe; glaring at Lila who was sending her enchanting mist over the boys and making them worship the ground she walked on. Then, Helga turned her head to me; her eyelids very narrow, like she was threatening me with just her eyes. I just retuned the look trying not to be intimidated, but wondered what she was thinking. Sid, Stinky and Harold came over to where we were.

"Oh, so you're that new kid I saw today." Harold stated, "Where you from?"

"Canada."

"Ohhh, so you're Canadian, eeeehhhhhhh? Look at me guys, I'm a Canadian. I wear a toque and live in an igloo and eat blubber with other slooooow hosers. Ha-ha-ha!"

"What's your problem, Harold?" Sid said.

"Yeah, why do ya have to be so dang ornery?" Stinky stated.

I got off the jungle gym and announced, "Well Harold, you must be Canadian, cause you're the slowest person I've ever met. Eeeh, look at me, I'm Harold, and I can't buy a shirt that covers my big fat gut! I'm so fat cause I eat nothing but Canadian bacon! It takes me five minutes to figure out a two second joke, cause I'm so slooooooooow!"

All of the guys gasped.

Harold immediately got serious, pounding his fist into his hand. "You wanna find out how it feels to be pounded from a guy that's two times your size?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, Harold. You wanna know why?"

"Why?" he asked, getting ready to flatten me like a pancake.

"Because I know about you…you and Rhonda and Big Patty."

Harold instantly changed his tone. "I-I, don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, but I think you do Harold." I said as I walked around him, "Wouldn't it be a pity, if, let's say some information leaked out to…I don't know, someone told Patty that you still have a thing for Rhonda!"

All the guys leaned in for a closer ear.

"Y-y-you wouldn't." he asked in fear.

"Wouldn't I?" I said with a very laid back look. "Hey, Patty, come over here, I think Harold has something he would like to tell you!" I mocked.

Harold was quick to react, "Okay, okay man. You've made your case, just shut up about it." And with that Harold crept away into the shadows of the playground. I turned to the guys that were on the jungle gym, totally in awe with what I had just done.

"Stephen, that was freakin' amazing!" Sid commented.

"I ain't never seen Harold act so scared before!" Stinky declared.

"That was some nice use of blackmail, Steve." Gerald added.

"That was kinda mean Stephen, to do that to Harold." Arnold voiced.

I got up and sat beside Arnold on the jungle gym and put my arm on his shoulder. "See Arnold, this is where you and I part ways in opinion. I see it as a chance to make that big, dumb dolt respect us kids more. You don't let people walk all over you Arnold. No offence, but you seem to be that type of person."

"Well, I don't solve my problems using methods like blackmail."

"You know Arnold, I knew when you used to be…cool. In the sense of, you didn't always do the right thing. You sometimes got in trouble, you broke the laws sometimes…"

"What do you mean you know what I used to be like?"

"See Arnold, I also have a sixth sense let's say, that allows me to dive into people's personalities. I can look at someone and in seconds I'll know all about that person, in some cases I'll know more about them then they do about themselves." I hoped he was going to buy my story, because I was just spittin' out bullshit.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

"Boy howdy, back on the chain gang." Sid said as he started to walk back to the building.

The gang and I made our way back in the school. 'My thoughts exactly.'