(Original Authors Notes)

Sorry for the delay folks – got busy and sidetracked. I see I only got four reviews on chapter seven – the chapter that was the total basis for my story…meh, I guess my story is more far-fetched than I thought.

To Will: Get your damn site back up, man! Did you get my e-mail? Hit me back! Anywho, maybe I don't understand Helga's character as much as you guys do. Or maybe I just see it in a different light. As for the other characters suspecting me of something…it's coming.

To Jae: Quote, "Dissecting a frog is "distinguishing"?" Whoops, major typo alert! I meant to say "disgusting". Man, I really hope that didn't mess up the story too much! Why am I harassing Helga so much?…because I can! Ha-ha! But there is a reason…I think…I'll have to check ahead to make sure. You may have just given me an idea.

To DarthRoden: Where do you see this going? Please tell; e-mail me if you want to keep it private.

I bet you guys will like this chapter. On another note, go download the hit song "Shake It Up" by The Cars (1981).

o----o

Lunchtime soon passed and we found ourselves in the same predicament; huddling over a deceased frog, deciding who was going to make the first cut. We had to open the thing up and identify certain parts on a chart and then take some notes. As I looked over the classroom, it seemed like we weren't the only ones having trouble. Sid was nearly screaming over at his group.

"I can't do this, don't you understand! It's like I'm dissecting my pet frog Sidney!" he exclaimed.

"I'm not doing it, not me," said the squeaky voice of Sheena, "I have made a sacred oath not to harm any of God's creatures."

"I'll do it!" volunteered Eugene.

"No, that's okay!" everyone said, knowing Eugene was a certified jinx. Finally Nadine took a swing at it, and boy did she ever. She acted like the frog was a 50-foot villain attacking the city, jabbing and stabbing it all over the place. Over at group number four, Rhonda looked as if she was going to faint.

"I am not touching that thing! You think I would want to risk getting anything squirted on this new shirt?"

"But it's the same shirt you always wear Rhonda, and it's still red." Big Patty said in her monotone voice.

"It's not the same red, it's a different shade of red." You couldn't even see the difference. "It's all the rage in the UK. Besides, what would you know about fashion anyway with those awful 1950's styled saddle shoes?"

"You got a problem, Rhonda?" Patty said as she tightened her fists.

"Now ladies," Harold interrupted," let's just calm down and forget about it." Harold seemed like he was trying to keep the two ladies in his life under control, still remembering what I had said to him earlier. While this was going down, Curly was sniffing Rhonda's hair.

"Mmmm, Herbal Essences, very nice."

"Ugh, get away from me you little mutant!" Then she paused and said, "If you dissect the frog, I'll let you smell my hair all you like."

Without hesitation Curly started to slice the amphibian up.

"Fhew!" she said in a sigh of relief, "That…temporarily solves my problem."

Things over at our table weren't any different. Lila, Arnold and I were in a "rock, paper, scissors" standoff until Helga finally took the scalpel from us.

"Sheesh, I'll do it you bunch of wussies."

While Helga was playing operation, Arnold decided to start a conversation with Lila.

"So, how are you today Lila?"

"Oh, I'm sure I'm ever so fine Arnold."

"Gag me." I said.

Arnold ignored my comment and continued to talk with Lila. "Have you read any good books lately?"

"Oh yes, I have read the entire Harry Potter series so far. J.K. Rowling is my ever so favorite author.

"Really? I like those books too. You have great taste, Lila."

I was getting a headache just listening to this crap. "Oh my god, people arguing subjects on a website message board is more exciting then listening to you two talk and attempt a good conversation."

Helga, with her head over the frog let out a little laugh but quickly covered it up.

"I don't believe we have been introduced," she politely replied, "I'm Lila."

"I'm Stephen. Now I'll let you and your boyfriend get back to your 'stimulating' conversation."

"Oh, Arnold isn't my boyfriend."

"Really?" I said with heavy sarcasm, "Well, the way he talks about you I beg to differ."

"Shut up!" Arnold elbowed me in my side.

"It's okay Arnold, let…-"

"You know Lila, I have a question for you. Why don't you like Arnold?" I interrogated.

"Well, it's not that I don't like him, it's just…"

"Steve, this is none of your business." Arnold interrupted.

"Sorry Arnold, but the way you have always gone on about her; it's enough to drive anyone up the wall."

"What do you mean 'the way I have always'…?"

"Sixth sense Arnold." I said as I jokingly tapped my nose. "So Lila, is there some really important reason why you won't go out with Arnold?"

Lila began to speak, but Helga kicked her in the leg and gave her a quick "you better shut up" look. As I knew, Lila knew Helga's secret and the kick was just a reminder of the punishment that awaited her if she ever let the cat out of the bag. I knew that was the real reason why Lila wouldn't give Arnold a chance. "I d-don't know, I guess I'm not…I…"

"Can't finish that sentence? Boy Lila, I though you were ever so perfect. Oh, and for your big fat information, stop saying 'ever so'. It drives everyone nuts."

It was so much fun to mess with everyone. Lila felt awful, Arnold was steaming mad, and Helga kind of seemed happy that I was razzing Lila. But I didn't want Helga to think I was her chum. As everyone was working, I sketched an ice cream cone on a piece of paper.

"That's it, I have had enough of this frog. Hey nerdoid, take this thing." Helga directed.

"What happens if I don't wanna, Helga?" I said as I gave her a quick flash of the drawing I had done. She quickly snapped back her attitude.

"F-fine," she looked to Arnold, "football head, finish this thing."

"You're not the boss, Helga. The least you could do is ask me nicely." he argued, still fuming over this frustrating situation.

"The least I could do is punch you in your big disobedient mouth, football head! Now finish the frog, Arnold!"

"I'm not finishing the frog, Helga!" Like a scene out of the episode "Girl Trouble", they pushed the box with the frog back and forth between them, until the thing flew off the desk and soared across the classroom landing in Rhonda's hair.

"AAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she shrieked running around the class, "Get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off!"

The whole class burst into laughter. Mr. Simmons who was writing on the blackboard turned around. "Group three, are you responsible for this! I'm sorry, but I'll have to give you all detention."

"What!" I shouted, "I didn't do anything!"

"You're very correct, Stephen. I saw you in your group and you were just goofing off. No exception, all of you have detention after school."

"Thanks a lot, Arnold-o!" Helga complained.

"Me! You're the one being impossible to work with!" Arnold replied.

Lila just quietly sat in her seat, not wanting to say anything that might spark the topic of her relationship with Arnold. I sat there, very cross at gay-ass Simmons for giving me detention.

o----o

Later on sitting in the detention room, I was thinking maybe I shouldn't have messed with their heads so much. I mean, look where it got me! I thought the tension was bad in Simmons' class. You could hear a pin drop while the four of us sat quietly in detention. When it was over we all went our separate ways, not saying a word to each other. I didn't even want to take the bus, because I didn't want to deal with Arnold's bitching over what I had done to Lila. Hopefully I put a kink in that relationship, cause like many other Hey Arnold! fans I wanted to see Arnold and Helga together with Lila out of the picture…and I would make sure this time, it would be for good.