Author's Note: This story ... heh. I loved it when I first started it, but now I kind of hate it. A friend asked me to post it here, though, so here goes nothing. Hope you guys like it.

For those who are confused, this is one side of a conversation, basically. Sasuke is talkimg to Kakashi. And yes, LeeSaku is mentioned and there is past SasuSaku. Don't like, don't read.

I'm not gay.

Don't give me that amused "sure you aren't, Sasuke," look. I have a girlfriend – er, had a girlfriend? – that I love very much.

See? Not gay.

I have absolutely no insecurity about my sexuality, thank you very much.

Any way, back to the point, you probably noticed how things have been tense between Sakura and I these last few weeks. That's ... well, she broke up with me. I think.

I mean, what does "this isn't working" mean anyway? Of course we were working. I love Sakura, I'm pretty certain she loved me, and this doesn't make sense.

I even told her as much. She just smiled. "Listen, Sasuke, I'll be fine." What? "Don't worry about it. We just weren't meant to be, I guess."

What the hell?

And don't chuckle like you know what she was talking about, because you know as well as I do that you don't! You don't!

And I am not gay!

I hear Sakura's dating Lee now. You know how much I hate that? He's not good enough for her! He – no, I'm not acting like an older brother! I'm jealous! I think.

So I went to tell Naruto about Lee dating Sakura and all, I figured we could be angry about it together, I guess. You want a brotherly reaction? Naruto had a brotherly reaction. He didn't care at all. Actually said they'd make a good couple. We got into an argument about it. And then Naruto shouted, "Don't blame Sakura and Lee for your sexuality! It's not their fault that you're gay!" Can you believe that?

... Stop laughing!

So anyway, I began lecturing Naruto on the many ways that I am not gay, and he just said, "You said yourself that you didn't think Lee was 'good enough' for Sakura. If you were jealous, you'd see him as a rival."

We argued some more after that. I finally told Naruto to prove that I was gay – and let's face it, he can't, because I'm not - and do you know what he did? Do you!

He kissed me.

... That mask isn't fooling anyone, I can tell you're smiling. Stop it. It's not funny.

What happened next? Well ... I, uh, kind of kissed him back.

Yes, I am sure that I'm not gay! It was lust, okay? Pure lust. Nothing else. But kissing a guy – or even having sex with a guy – doesn't mean I'm gay! It just means ... it means my hormones are stupid, that's all. I was pent up and angry, and Naruto actually kisses really well. Which, I may remind you, says nothing about my sexuality!

Anyway ... stuff happened. And it was ... nice. It was really nice.

... Fine, you smug bastard, it was better with Naruto than it's ever been with Sakura. Jeez. It's not like it means anything ...

And yeah, I came back for more later that week. What about it? Like I said – lust. Just lust.

And don't give me that "you're gay" crap. I already got it from Naruto. He pointed out that we were now sleeping together, what other proof did I need? When I explained it to him, he decided that it would be a really good idea to "prove me wrong" by doing his sexy no jutsu. Idiot. I ignored him until he turned back. He seemed pretty damn smug about it, too. Moron. It doesn't prove anything. I'm not gay!

Naruto and I keep running into each other. It's nice and annoying and stupid and somehow keeps me sane. The way his skin tastes under my tongue makes me forget that Sakura even exists. Hell, when he kisses me, I forget that Itachi exists. It's just him and me. Nothing else matters.

I hate it.

I hate how he can get under my skin so well, and make every single goal I've ever had disappear. I want to kill Itachi – I am going to kill Itachi.

I'm going to revive my clan and kill my brother. Nothing else matters, especially adorable blond idiots who are really, really good in bed.

... What?