Disappearing Hearts

By: Hixxy

Author's note: Damn...By the way this fic is going, it's probably gonna go for longer than I thought, by the way I'm still debating on whether I should put them together as an official couple, please let me know what you think

Summary: this is basically a Bellatrix/James/Lily love triangle fanfic with the main focus being on Bellatrix and James so if this is not to your taste I suggest you leave.

'speech'

(thought)

'COCKADOOADOO!!!!!!'

(Huh? What the...yes! it's finally morning!) thought Bella after opening her eyes to the sound of the rooster.

(Oh I hope I can do this.......)she thought depressingly

After quite a few stretching and yawning, she jumped out of her bed, and bolted straight to the bathroom, locking the door before any of her roomies could come in.

Looking at her reflection in the huge mirror, doubts started to raise itself in her mind.

(What should I wear? Should I fix my hair up? Should I put make up?) She thought anxiously.

After 30 minutes of painstaking decisions, she decided on a little blush on her cheeks and a little eye shadow under the eyes, for her hair she just tied it up into a ponytail.

(Now what to wear.....) She wondered looking at her wardrobe

after a few minutes she picked out some denim jeans and a baby blue top.

(Well what do you know all these clothes sis packed for me actually became useful) she mused.

After giving her appearance a final glance, she figured she looked decent enough, but will it be enough to win James' heart?

'Well no use thinking about it now, night as well get it over and done with' she said aloud to no one in particular.

Though inside her, doubts made her tremble and fear as to what she would do if he rejected her.

On the way to the great hall for breakfast there were a mixture of reactions to her new appearance; from the boys came cat calls and leers, from the girls came jealous looks and mumbles of 'knew she was a slut'.

However Bella just made her way to the great hall ignoring everything around her, though a bit hurt by the 'slut' comments.

When she finally got there she sat down and tried to eat as fast as she could so she could get away quick, as she didn't want to attract any attention, though she did glance at James several times, who was sitting at the Gryffindor table laughing loudly with his friends.

Finally when breakfast was over, and most of the students were gone, she thought it was safe to move.

Unfortunately, her assumptions were in vain, as when she tried to move away, somebody blocked her path; looking up she found that it was Roldolphus.

'Bella....'

Bella, however, was not in the mood; she just stared into his eyes coldly and said.

'Shut up. I don't want to hear another word. You almost raped me you bastard.'

And with that she tried to push past him, but he didn't budge.

'Bella...I know what I did was wrong, I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry.'

'I don't want your apologies, I just want you to leave me alone.' She glanced at James, who was lingering behind with two girls named Kira and Ivy for some courage, as she was starting to get weak at the knees from fear.

Roldolphus, who noticed her gazes to James, got pretty incensed.

'It's that Potter bastard isn't it?!' he accused.

'Don't you dare call him that!'

'Why?! What has he got that I don't!!!!' he yelled.

'He is a good man, better than you'll ever be!' she yelled back.

SMACK

The next thing Bella knew she was on the floor, a bruise starting to develop on her left cheek, tears starting to pour out of her eyes. Looking back up she saw Roldolphus, looking downward at her with sorrowful eyes, but they were still incensed with hate.

Suddenly a voice yelled out.

'Petrificus totalus!'

Roldolphus suddenly went rigid and toppled over onto the floor with a loud thump not moving a muscle.

Looking up to see who had yelled out the spell, she saw James running over to her at top speed with a look that could kill.

'Are you ok?' He asked, while gently picking her up.

'Y...yes.' She stuttered.

'Are you sure? That was quite a hit you took.' He probed further.

'Yes. I.....'

Finally she couldn't handle acting brave anymore so she jumped onto James hugging him tightly and just cried all her tears out.

James was quite shocked at the show of emotion from the 'loser' as everyone called her thanks to him and Sirius, so awkwardly, he just patted her softly on the head, saying that it was going to be alright over and over.

When her sobbings finally subsided, he let go of her gently and said.

'I...er..I think it's time you went to class.' He smiled and then continued. 'Don't worry, I won't work you too hard on detention.' And with that he started to walk away.

However, he was forced to stop by Bella grabbing his arm. As he turned around to inquire as to what she wanted, he found her tear filled face barely a millimeter away from his face.

And faster than the eye could see she kissed him.

It lasted for only two seconds but to her it seemed like an eternity.

When she finally pulled back she searched his face for a reaction.

(Oh god, I can't believe I just did that! He doesn't like it! Oh why am I so stupid!)

It was awkwardly silent for a few minutes, until James decided to break it.

'Well......that was different.' And with a final smile, he started to walk away, more like run away from her point of view, and finally his form disappeared into the corridors.

Inside, Bella was having a lot of mixed thoughts.

(Did he like it? Well... he didn't say he DIDN'T like it. Oh but what I wouldn't give to taste his lips again.)

She started remembering on how his lips were when she kissed him; it was exactly how she had imagined her first kiss to feel like.

Suddenly somebody pushed her on the floor roughly, and kicked her in the side.

Moaning in pain she looked up and saw the form of Kira and Ivy.

'You slut how dare you make a move on my James' spat out Kira vehemently

'Yeah, now you are gonna pay for it.' Joined in Ivy.

Bella didn't say anything, after all these two girls were the ones that beat her up the most, and they always beat her up regardless of whether she speaks or not.

(Oh please not again...Just leave me alone!) she wailed helplessly inside.

Before she could think any further a slap found it's way to her bruised cheek and a kick soon followed after, making her yell out in pain.

'Please stop it! Please....' She begged

However, the two girls ignored her pleas and continued on with the assault. After a few more punches and kicks, they finally stopped, they turned to run away but not before saying.

'Ha! As if you could get the most popular guy in school anyway, you are a loser with no friends, how could he possibly like you.' And with that they ran off.

Somehow these words hurt her far worse than the physical beating she had just endured.

After she was sure they had gone, Bella stood up rather shakily and difficultly, and made her way to Madam Pomfrey's sickbay.

When she got there, Madam Pomfrey took one look at the multiple bruises and cuts that Bella had and sighed.

'Bella, someone beat you up again didn't they, you should really tell a teacher or someone who it is, I see you here more than I would like to.'

Bella just stayed silent and let Madam Pomfrey work her magic, soon, she was almost as good as knew apart from some small bruises and sore spots where her cuts were.

She was about to walk out the door, when Madam Pomfrey stopped her.

'Bella if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here for you. Understand?'

Smiling gratefully, she hugged the old nurse and whispered.

'I know, but I'm afraid that if I tell they on them will do something far worse to me, but thank you anyway for your concern.' Then she made her way to class.

Her first class for today was advanced potions, which she hated because the teacher always picked on her for being too quiet or uncooperative in class and therefore gave her the worst marks last year, which her parents gave her a beating over.

When she got to the door, she took a huge breath and opened it.

In the blink of an eye the teacher, Mr Weevil was right in her face, with a look that held pure annoyance.

'Miss Black late again as always, that's it I've had enough of your unruly behavior, go write "I'm a bad girl, so I have to try harder to please my teacher" a thousand times the muggle way! And give it back to me at the end of class!'

Ears burning with shame she made her way to the back of the class and looked for a seat, however, all of the seats were taken save for one next to a guy with his hood up so she sat down there.

'Hey, where did you get all these extra bruises?' inquired the person next to her.

Surprised that someone was actually speaking to her she whipped her head to the right and gasped.

'What? have I got something on my face or something?' asked James

'No...you don't, you just surprised me that's all.' Bella replied

'Why?' James asked confusedly.

'Because you spoke to me...' she whispered, hoping he wouldn't hear.

He did however and was even more confused.

'Huh? Why wouldn't I talk to you?'

Shocked by his ignorance, she replied softly.

'Because I'm a loser, by the way I'm sorry about...kissing you before...'

'Hey your not a loser! And about that ...kiss.... uh don't worry about it.' He grew almost as red as she was.

'Oh yeah! You didn't answer my question. How did you get those other bruises, it wasn't that long since I last saw you.' He said changing the subject.

'Uhh...it was nothing. Really... I just fell down a flight of stairs. Clumsy me. Ha ha.' She faked a laugh.

James however didn't buy it.

'Tell me the truth.' He said sternly.

'It was nothing! I told you already, It's not like you care anyway.' She said sadly, tears starting to prick at her eyes.

'Hey I do care, just tell me!' James probed.

However, All the time that she was hurt let itself out.

'Then why do you all tease me and bully me as if I had no feelings!' she muttered.

'I..uh...I...' James was at a loss for words so she continued.

'And to make it worse, it's usually you and your little group that instigate it, and since your so popular everyone copies whatever you do.'

Finally she couldn't hold the tears no more and just let it all out, covering her face to hide it, but unable to smother the noises that kept coming out.

'And do you... sob... know why... sob... it hurts so much....sob... that it's you who starts it?' she cried.

Not even waiting for him to answer she just said each word softly but surely.

'Because I love you.'

IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE PLEASE READ IT!!!!!!!!!

Authors note: welllllll finally finished this chapter give me the reviews to let me know if I'm on the right track by the way I'd like to thank all those who even bothered to review, it is because of you that keeps me motivated to write so THANKS!!!!!!
Oh yeah just a notice..... I'm requiring at least another 5 reviews before I post the next chapter up so happy reading and reviewing.

Till next time............Laters !!!!!