Alright then, it's been brought to my attention that some people can't handle this story - well just one but I won't name names (just check out the reviews) LOL Firstly, read the summary, it's clear it's a dark fic (it says so in the first sentence). Second, it's not out of character I think most ppl would agree with me on that. And if you don't like this sort of stories, why'd you bother to finish reading it. It's just crazy really. OH and yes, for the other 'crazy ppl' out there who don't like this sort of stories, be warned, I don't need flames. Didn't the person bother to read the disclaimer? Oh well, reality check LOL
That was my beef, sorry for ranting. Everyone else, sorry and enjoy.
Okay so I had a few people in the last couple of weeks email me with some requests for story ideas…It was the oddest thing. I wasn't actually taking orders for story ideas, but thanks for sending me your requests. LOL ) However, I do have time now that finals are over! HORRAY! So I thought I'd make one shot stories for the suggested ideas LOL I guess if you guys have story ideas out there, but don't want to write it; you can send it to me, and I'll try to write out something for ya. But please don't freak out if I don't pick your idea, so far I have 21 suggestions that people have sent me; and I'm gonna pick a few at a time…oh my god, you people are using me!
Oh well, good to be popular I guess. LOL Whatever makes the audience happy! )
I picked this story idea because it was something I never really thought about; and a very unique suggestion. It's a more dark tale that "Tripdaddy" suggested. He wants to see a more animal and human side to Jin. A tale that would frustrate him, and take advantage of the trust Fuu always has for him. The only problem was, that a rape was involved. I'm not really comfortable writing that sort of thing in description, and I didn't see how Jin would be compelled to just get up and rape somebody. So I wasn't originally going to pick this one. But, as I was watching Samurai Champloo, the episode where Jin meets Shino, I realized a really interesting idea behind Jin's madness; and what could set him off the edge.
Tripdaddy detailed that Fuu has some attraction to Jin, suggesting that it was Jin that she liked throughout the series. ( I don't agree, I think it was Mugen) Nevertheless, I was able to think of a really unique situation for this idea. So, his will be the first story suggestion I do.
Thanks Tripdaddy for the suggestion…and the 4 email threats to make this story LOL )
Disclaimer: RATE R: This one shot story contains a detailed look into a rape, and the emotions of both fictional parties involved. So I rate it a very serious R, very R. Don't read this if you're under the age that's suitable for this sort of reading; or if you're offended by such things. I also want to add, that RAPE under NO circumstances if ever RIGHT, and could never BE RIGHT. It is a criminal offense, that thousands of North American females face each year. Protect yourselves ladies, contact or visit your local crisis line for women, or to a rape prevention center to find out how you can arm yourself from an attack. Men, break the chain of female abuse, and stop and prevent this criminal act to further forward. Rape is wrong, and is punishable by a life sentence. Know that 9 out of 10 cases are convicted.
To anyone who has experienced an assault or rape, be brave, report it; it's the first step in the process of healing.
"Be strong, have will, find courage; and you'll see a better path."
ENJOY!
Jin's madness.
She had said her goodbyes. Perhaps she should have turned around and hugged the two men who had protected her till the very end. But somehow, she felt that her embrace was unnecessary, that her feelings echoed loud and clear to them. Still she wondered where she would go from here, how will she get to a place where she could be happy. She looked ahead, thinking to see Mugen and Jin walking in front of her, but found no one. She sighed.
"Ahh, I'm hungry again." She whined feeling her stomach growling. She held on to her stomach, wondering how much longer she would have to walk before she saw a village. But what did it matter, she had barely enough to cover for her shelter. She tried to weigh out which was more important, starve to death in a comfortable inn; or eat and die on the street.
"AAHHH Danmit" She cursed. Quickly, she covered her mouth realizing how much of Mugen's filthy habits she had picked up. She decided not to think so hard, after all she needed that energy for when she did arrive to a village. Only once did she look back, hoping to see a red shirt or a blue one. She smiled when she realized, that the journey was truly finished.
Momo-san peaked out of her kimono every now and than, to see if the sun had died down. He wasn't in the mood to sun bath, so he stayed inside her shirt like most times; to keep himself cool. Fuu angrily smirked at the little friend, accusing him of betraying her.
………………………….
Finally! She had arrived into a village. It was a large bustling sort of place, where people seemed to blur into one large picture. She squeezed passed people to try to find a place she could rest her feet and get some water. Automatically, she looked beside her as if to see Jin or Mugen there. She sighed. She missed having Jin there to talk to about things, about what they would do, where they would stay. She and he had always made good decisions. Mugen was just the annoying chatter that cluttered the background as they thought.
She sighed again. She was starting to miss them both. She thought she was happy, but she wasn't really. But it was loss, and that was something she had to get used to in her life. Orphaned now, and alone, she would have to stand by herself. She smiled, because she knew she could do it. All she needed was the same courage she found so many times while on her journey. She had to admit, the adventure had made her stronger than ever.
"Yes dear, what can I get you?" The old man asked from the small booth selling different snacks. She smiled as cutely as she could, and gave up a coin for some tea. It was not really enough, but the old man, defeated by her young face; accepted her small payment and gave her the tea. Fuu was happy with herself, although, she knew she had sort of conned an old man; she had no choice. She was thirsty and hungry, and tired.
She sat down, sipping her tea slowly. She looked around, noticing how busy the streets were, wondering why everyone looked like they were so hectic. Maybe, it was because this town was larger, had more travelers, they were all trying to climb up ladders to get money. She had never really appreciated the importance of money, until she realized she needed it so badly to survive.
"I should try to find some place to sleep tonight Momo-san." She said looking down to her chest. As she sat there for a few more moments, she looked beside her thinking of Jin, wondering what he was doing right that very moment. Than she looked forward, picturing Mugen and what he was up to. She missed them both, more so Jin though. She wasn't sure why, she thought so much about him in the last few hours since their separation. Maybe it was because he was always very nice to her, always tried to be on her side. Or maybe it was because she wanted to tell him things, but kept them in. She smiled sadly, looking around, feeling like he was close. But it was impossible, by now; he was probably far away.
She sighed again. How many times had she done that now? She was done now, just in time to start see the first strands of sunset. She needed to hurry. She stood up and looked in all directions, feeling very strange, like she was waiting for her companions.
'Fuu, you're being stupid.' She said to herself, and started her walk to find shelter. As she wondered around, she marveled if she would be able to stay here and work somewhere. Could she make this place her home. She had spent so much time being a dweller she forgot what it was like to have a home.
Finally, a rather comfortable looking inn caught her eye. And she was in luck, not many travelers came to inn's anymore, now that brothels were inexpensive. She walked in, soaked to the bone. She was stupid to take so long to find a place, and unfortunately for her; it started to rain badly. It was a good break to find a decent place to stay. The couple was nice and gave her some towels for free and walked her to her small room.
"Arigato." Fuu smiled bowing to the woman who gave her a white kimono for the night. She was glad to find some people who were nice. She was left in her room, sitting and watching the rain. It was so quiet and lonely, she thought.
"It's quiet uh Momo-san?" She asked the furry creature as he peaked out. She stared out to the moon who had taken control over of the sky. Somehow, she felt depressed and unsatisfied. Her journey was over, her mission complete; yet she was miserable now. Maybe it was because she was alone, or maybe it was because she missed them.
Suddenly the sky lit up in shocks of brilliant colour. It had scared her enough to jump back.
"Phew!" She sighed realizing it was only a loud celebration of fireworks. Perhaps tonight was a special night for the village. A knock came on her door, and Fuu answered. It was the owner's wife, inviting Fuu to join the village.
"It's a wonderful display if you like to join. Everyone here will be gone for a few hours, so-"
"No. That's alright. I think I'm quite tired. I'll just rest here. You all enjoy." Fuu smiled interrupting her invitation. She wasn't in the mood to go out and have fun, besides, it would only exhaust her already hungry body. The lady smiled and left. Fuu knew that perhaps all the visitors in the inn would leave, but it didn't matter; it just meant she had more time and space for herself.
"I wonder what kind of food people are eating right now." Fuu sighed looking out the small window again. She knew she was alone, when she heard the last footstep clear the small inn. Somehow, she didn't like being there by herself. But she didn't want to go out either. It was still very rainy, but nobody seemed to notice or care; now that the fireworks were on.
"Shall we just go to bed Momo-san?" She asked giggling a little. The little squirrel seemed to smile and agree as she trotted to her futon. The room was nothing special, but it was comfortable just as she thought it would be. She yawned. The hunger and walking had done her body good, and now she was ready to drift to sleep. The fireworks outside were loud and bright; but it didn't bother her. She liked the noise, made her feel like her companions were still there. That Jin was still there.
……………………………………….
It was well past midnight, but the crowd and cheers were still going. The rain had stopped, and the village alive with laughter, drunks and happiness. Momo-san had woken up and stood to face someone protected by shadow. His hands came down and touched the little creature, and he immediately recognized who it was. Trusting the familiar scent and face, the creature jumped to him as if he had been trained to. He squeaked a couple of times welcoming him back, but heard nothing from him.
…………………………………………
Fuu had woken up feeling like her door had slid open. Her eyes opened and she focused on the door, but saw it shut. She sat up and yawned, stretching out her arms to the ceiling. She had slept a good couple of hours.
"Ahh that feels good." She said feeling her muscles stretch out. Her room had darkened, but it was alright. She looked over and Momo-san sleeping snuggly on the edge of her bed. That's when she made out the figure, sitting across from her, in the shadow. She gasped, taken back by the sight. At first, she thought she was dreaming; but when she realized it wasn't, she felt panicked by her situation.
"Who are you!" She shouted wondering if there was a way for her to escape. The man said nothing for a moment. She squinted trying to get a better look at him. The shape of him seemed familiar, but the dark shadow covering him blocked much of his outline.
"What do you want! I have no money." She said trying to pull the covers to her chest. She didn't want anything bad to happen to her, but she truly had no money to offer the man. She looked over to Momo-san who usually woke up the instant she was in trouble. But this time, he just lay still in a peaceful sleep. He only opened his eyes once when she gasped, but went straight back to sleep. Whoever was in the room, he trusted. It was getting dead silent in the room, yet the fireworks and people were still so loud.
"What do you want?" She demanded again. Jin was always the first to jump into action to save her, but this time; she didn't have him there to help her. She moved a little in her futon trying to plan her escape. Suddenly, the figure moved to stand up. She slid back a little on her futon pulling the sheet over her more. He started to walk slowly. She recognized his shape. The shape of his body, his head and hair; his swords.
"….Jin?" She said in a trusting whisper. She hoped it was him. Finally, he had come to light as he placed all three swords down.
"It's me." He said as she saw the outlines of his face, those glasses, that outfit. She relaxed, in relief and happiness. She forgot about her fears and quickly came to her feet to run to him.
"Jin!" She shouted happily. But when she stood up, she saw his face, tangled in a mess of emotions. She stopped, her breath caught in her throat. She had never seen him look like that. This angry, this enraged and hurt.
"Jin?...What is it?" She asked softly wondering if he was alright. Jin stepped closer to her. Fuu noticed the swords on the floor and than looked back to him as he was close enough to hug. But she didn't, she was still very confused about his expression. He was silent, but his face screamed anger and hate.
"What is it? Are you alright?" She asked again worried for him.
"No. I am not alright." He said in a low tone. She paled a little hearing that tone come from him. She recognized that his hostility was towards her, but she didn't know why.
"What happened?" She asked taking a small step closer to him. They were now face to face, standing on her futon. Jin, unable to change his mad gaze as she searched him for answers.
"The person I would sacrifice my soul for was killed." He said using the same low tone. Fuu's skin pimpled in cold goose bumps feeling the words stick to her. She thought about it for a moment and couldn't remember who he was talking about.
"Who Jin?" She asked growing more concerned for him. This lack of memory seemed to annoy and disgust him, and his eye brows narrowed more tightly to the bridge of his nose.
"They killed Shino!" He shouted angrily grabbing on to her arms. It took Fuu by surprise to feel him shake her that way, and she couldn't respond to it. She remembered though, who Shino was; who she was to Jin. She felt horrible that she had died.
"What? But how? Who killed her?" Fuu asked not concerned for her arms, or Jin's maddening behavior. She suddenly felt guilty, like she had hated Shino for trying to take Jin. But at the very end, Shino needed him more than her. Fuu, after all, had Mugen at least. So why didn't she just tell Jin to stay with her that night when he came back after Shino had drifted to the temple. Maybe, she wanted Jin to be only hers.
Jin only grew more angry at her questions, probing him for answers. He had found out after taking seat at a small village nearby to their separation point. He had heard the news from an older monk who had traveled from the temple. The night before, while he was fighting to protect Fuu, she was horribly murdered for leaving her brothel duties. She had tried to leave the temple, and was recognized by the magistrate's men; and was killed.
The monk was horribly sad about the loss of such a life. Jin listened on to the tale, heartbroken to hear that his only love had been taken from the world. She was trying to find Jin, that is why she left the protection of the temple. And he pinned the blame for her death on Fuu. It was because of her, that he had not been there to protect Shino.
With the flashback of the monk's tale in his mind, he shook Fuu again.
"You! I was protecting you, when I should've protected her." He said almost growling. It was not like Jin. To look so calm yet sound so harsh. She didn't understand what he was saying, or what had happened.
"Jin, stop, you're hurting me." She begged after realizing what was happening. She understood that Jin was upset over his loss, but how could she be blamed.
"Jin, please!" She begged again, trying to pull back from him. Jin stopped shaking her, only to push her down to the futon. Fuu grabbed on to her arms, rubbing them as she looked up to him. She looked at his eyes, behind those clear glasses, they sparkled with revenge. She gulped. It still didn't hit her as much as it should have. She wanted to realize she was in danger, but it was Jin.
"Because of your contract, I had to let her die." He said looking much calmer. His face had become clean without the wrinkle of anger. He seemed collective, much like himself again, which had given Fuu a false sense of security.
"Jin, I'm sorry that Shino died. But-"
"Don't say another word." He said calmly. Fuu shut up unable to think of anything else to do other than stare up at him. He looked back at his swords, debating if he should just kill her and leave. But that would not satisfy him, that would not bring him peace. Shino suffered a lot before dying. He heard the monk say it clearly, that the magistrate's men had tore her body before killing her. Fuu waited for him to say something, following his eyes as he looked at his swords. She wondered what he was thinking. She knew that he was hurt, and because of that hurt, he had gone mad. She wanted to say something more to him, but didn't want to anger him. So, she waited.
"I've decided, that the only thing you will say to me tonight; is your begging to be let go." He was cold as he turned to her, looking down with dark possessed eyes. Fuu moved back a little, her voice caught in her throat. She wasn't sure if she heard him correctly.
"Jin?" She smiled nervously trying to move while still holding on to her left arm. He had never grabbed her like that, nor did he ever look at her with such menacing eyes. He was pale, emotionless; yet his eyes did all the talking for him. He took off his kimono shirt, throwing it carelessly aside as he bent down to face her. Fuu started to breath heavy, thinking that this was a dream. She looked to the door, than to Momo-san wondering if she was really asleep. Suddenly, she felt him crowding in front of her, his expressionless face so close to hers. She swallowed hard, surprised by his quick movements.
"Jin, wait." She said trying to clearly think. But he didn't want to wait, he had waited enough. He pushed her down hard. She hit her head against the wooden floor while her body still remained on the futon. Jin hovered over her, like some pervert, but his face was not perverted; it was vacant.
Fuu was a bit dizzy and she tried her hardest to move. But, before she could push him off of her, his lips had landed on hers. Her eyes widen in shock, her heart raced. Suddenly, she realized what was happening, and how very real her situation was. She felt him press his body against her small frame, as if to pin her down with his weight. His eyes were open too, staring empty down at hers. She wildly tried to push him but it did nothing. He released her from his kiss, to hear what she had to say.
"Jin, what are you doing! Stop this." She said trying to squirm free. He looked down at her, knowing that she still believed in him, trusted him to remove himself off of her; and let her go. He had placed that faith in her, and he was glad he did. Because he needed her to feel the pains of betrayal, the same pain he felt when he heard that Shino was dead.
"You can scream all you want. I won't stop you." He said coldly. His tone had frozen Fuu and for a second all she could do was blankly stare at him, trying to beg him. When she felt his hands on her kimono, her heart wildly jumped.
"Jin!" She screamed as he tore it off. He didn't care that he had to be aggressive in restraining her. He heard the loud thud her head made when he pushed it down again while trying to undress her. He didn't care if his nails scratched her as he pulled it down further to reveal her stomach and finally her whole body. Fuu was stunned, unbelieving still; but she knew it was all real. She covered herself as best as she could knowing that he wasn't really looking at her body. He didn't care what she looked like, he only needed for her to feel scared. And he had done it.
"Jin, please!" She said again, this time the crack of her tears in her voice. He saw them, fill up with water as he started to touch her body. But his mind had to admit, that each time he heard her say his name, he felt he should stop. Yet, the reminder of Shino's face, told him to continue. He pulled her arms away from her chest, pinning her wrists violently against the floor. She squirmed trying to get away. He stared at her for a moment, to soak in her fear; but he felt that guilt again. He recalled, how relieved she was when she realized it was him lurking in the room. That was the faith she had in him. But it didn't matter, because of his duties to her, Shino died.
"Not another word." He lowly said to her in a calm whisper. Her insides shuttered her tears loose on to her face. He pulled down her wrists to her sides, so that he could torture her breasts; to demean her. And sure enough, his tongue started to circle her nipple, biting down when he remembered Shino. Fuu squirmed and cried when he bit on her, she tried to struggled but felt paralyzed.
"Jin, please, don't do this." She said to him, and that was exactly the words he wanted to hear. Her begging to be let go. He moved up to look at her, her eyes red with tears. He sat up on her, Fuu for a brief moment thinking she was going to be let go. But she was wrong. She felt the stings on both her cheeks a few times each, she realized that he was slapping her; maybe trying to knock her unconscious. He stopped to find her lips slightly bleeding, and his large hand prints bruised on both cheeks. He had planned to be more violent with her, beat up around, kick her; call her names. But somehow, he couldn't. But he was going to finish what he started.
"I'm not saving you again." He said, knowing that Shino had probably called out for him, calling him to save her. But he was on the hill saving Fuu, and did not hear her pleas. He stood up. Fuu relaxed slightly, thinking that he was done with her. She curled to her side crying, holding on to her body as tightly as she could .She tried to tell herself, that it was just a dream, a bad dream; that she would wake up. However, she could taste her own blood in her mouth from the rip of skin on her lips. She cried knowing that it was reality.
Jin had only stood up to remove his dressing. He had no intention of stopping. He looked down at her body, naked and trembling. He looked down to his limp self. He could not be aroused this way. Hurting her did not harden him, it pleased his revenge; but did not spark him. He had thought that it wouldn't matter, that he would harden; after all he was going to have sex. But, somehow his anger, mixed in with hitting a defenseless girl didn't do much good. If he was going to rape her, he would need to do things in a way so that he would be able to perform that revenge.
He knelt down and brushed her hair, reminding himself, that no matter what he felt sexually, it would not replace his night with Shino. Fuu felt him pet her, and it bothered her, yet she stayed quiet sobbing. He pulled on her shoulder rolling her over, Fuu wanted to sit up and slap him, and run out of there. But she was still stunned. He lay next to her, looking at her eyes as she trembled with fear and pain.
"Please…don't." She said in a sobbing whisper. Jin felt that regret and guilt again as he traced the bruises on her cheeks, the line of blood coming down from her lower lip. Her tearful eyes. And for a small second, he had forgotten why he was doing this. That was quickly gone, when he felt Shino's name come to his lips.
He didn't say anything to her, instead he moved to push her on her back, this time more gently. Fuu was confused by his slow and careful movements. She had thought again that he might let her go. But than she found his hands molesting her body, cupping her breast, tracing her stomach and thighs. She lay there, unable to do anything but cry. This was Jin, Jin who she trusted possibly more than Mugen. He had jumped so many times to protect her, save her; and now he was the one hurting her.
"No Jin, no." She cried. She heard the fireworks and the people laughing outside. She wanted to scream to them, to let them know she was in need of help. However, there was no way, that any of them could hear her. She felt defeated still feeling his hands on her, mixed in with the kisses he laid on her. She shook her head side to side, trying to object. She tried to push him off, but he kept pinning her back down. She somehow started to feel very tired. Combined with the emotional stress, and the hits on her face, Fuu started to feel light headed. She could still feel him on her, rubbing himself over her body.
Yet, when he moved to look at her, she saw how vacant and empty his face was, just as always. But it was the pain and anger in his eyes, that reminded her of what he was doing.
"Please. Please." She begged again in light spurts of speech. She wasn't able to move, her body was failing her. The emotional pressure of the situation had forced her into early defeat. She was normally a fighter. But it was Jin. Jin, how could she properly fight. She was hit with never ending stings of betrayal as she felt him continue to lick her breasts, trace down to her stomach; assault her body to his taste.
Her small plea's every now and than to stop, kept diminishing the erections he was finally able to work up. And each time she opened her mouth to ask him to stop, he felt that erection slip away. He wanted to her hear say stop, but he needed more time to properly build himself up. So he decided to cover her mouth with his hand. Fuu felt his hand on her hurting face. She felt a burning sensation all over her cheeks and lips as he tightly restrained her speech. A boost of energy from the panic of her mouth being covered allowed her some movement, but it wasn't enough to stop him. He was working a little bit faster now, worried that he would change his mind soon. He didn't want to change his mind, he wanted to do this to her, that's why he had ran in her direction the whole day to find her.
She said something, perhaps stop in muffled sobs as he kissed and touched her body. He felt himself growing again. Her body was beautiful, small and not as well developed, but he was a man, deprived of sleep, hungry, and tortured by Shino's death. He simply didn't care that she was still a young girl, not yet 17. But in this time, she was old enough to be a mother. He didn't feel guilt anymore as he started to feel the rush of lust take over him. He moved faster, rubbing himself, pushing her legs apart with his knees to allow more of him to touch her. To torture her of what was to come. She did realize it. She knew it would happen, yet when she felt him sliding up and down her most private parts; she shuddered, crying more; saying more. But by this time Jin had built up his passion, and no matter what she said, he would not turn back now.
"Please stop!" She said the second his hand released her face. She started to ignore her pains, knowing that he would soon decide to destroy her. She pushed his head, trying to make him stop. She struggled to punch his chest, but she was still in pain and shock. Each time she saw his face, she was reminded of the Jin she spent other nights with, but trusted him so much. She could expect such things from Mugen, but not Jin, not Jin.
He grabbed her wrists, and slammed them down above her head, holding them in place with one aggressive palm. She realized it, what he was going to do next. Her eyes filled up with tears, her sobs gone; just tears and panic left behind. Jin's eyes had changed into something more lustful, evil maybe. As a last resort, she screamed out, hoping that someone would hear. She knew it was long shot, the noise from the fireworks was still loud, and the cheers of the crowd even louder.
"HELP ME! PLEASE! SOMEBODY!" She screamed over and over. Jin didn't try to silence her, he wanted to hear those cries. The cries that Shino may have made for him, to come and save her from the magistrates men as they raped her; and than killed her. He listened to Fuu for a moment, just staring at her. It was because he was too busy protecting her, that he couldn't save Shino. With that memory, he moved his weight, shifting more of it in between her thighs. Fuu's panic levels shot up, and she chocked on her own cries. He went slowly, moving his length torturously on her, brushing against her young female hood.
"NO! NO! STOP JIN!" She cried again. She meant to cry more, to beg him more; maybe it would stop him. However, it was the horrible pain that forced her throat to lock, and her body to tighten horribly. She felt him enter her, somehow she felt that he pitied her; and went slowly. Yet the pain was still the same, perhaps even worse. She wished that he had just pushed in at once, and let the pain come and go quickly. But he went slow, pushing in inch by inch. He kept his eyes on her, her sparkly sad eyes. He started to feel that guilt again. A horrible sensation of guilt. He worried that he may go soft again, feeling sorry for Fuu.
"Shino" He whispered to Fuu. Her eyes closed, almost rolling back, her teeth grinding down, as he finally broke in. The pain was still there, but she was relieved that he was in. But that was not the end. And she knew it. He stayed still, waiting for her to adjust to him. He found himself saying Shino's name more, the more he looked at Fuu's eyes; the more he realized what he was doing. But he kept reminding himself of Shino. He played with her breasts, slithered his free hand around her waist and hip, to maintain his length. He didn't want to feel bad.
"Jin…Please…" She begged a final time, nodded no to him as the tears continued. Jin did feel a moment of despair.
"Shino." He said again in a small whisper. Fuu cried, but Jin had already started to move. It hurt, as he moved. She couldn't tell at that moment, that he was actually being merciful on her, by going as slowly as possibly so that the pain was not too much. He said Shino's name as many times as he could, because he felt he was being too sympathetic. His aim was to torture Fuu, to stain her.
In efforts to erase whatever sympathies he might have given her, he started to thrust madly suddenly. Fuu cried loudly feeling him injure her insides as his hips slammed aggressively on to hers. She knew that he was not fitting in properly, the tip of him trying to rip into her stomach. She had lost all sense and thought, and soon after multiple thrusts she stopped crying or begging. She just lay there allowing him to do what he was doing.
Jin was merciless on her body, moving as fast and as hard as he could. He had never felt this sort of pleasure, it was rough and meaningless. He was hurting Fuu, and somehow in some sick twisted way, he enjoyed it. A small piece of him, told him to stop, but he had gone far beyond the point of return. He looked down to Fuu's dead eyes, she was emotionally spent. She kept her empty eyes on him, as he watched her. He was moving violently, and he saw how badly she was shaking from fear.
He was close, he felt it. They both stared into each other's eyes, trying to find the other's soul, but found nothing but dark emptiness. Fuu had lost her virginity by force, to the one man she probably would have willingly gone to, had he loved her. In his face, she saw the Jin she once trusted, but betrayal was all she saw as his expression started to tense. She felt him stress all over her.
It didn't come as a surprise to feel him buckle madly, shuddering with pleasure as he slowed his pace. She felt it inside of her, sliming her innocence. His eyes stayed with hers though, as he finally stopped, feeling satisfied.
She lay there still as he lay on top of her breathing heavily. This would be the time to run and escape, but what for now; he had already done the damage. He pulled out of her abruptly, uncaring to the pain that zapped her. She felt disgust and wet in between in thighs, and slowly she was able to close her legs. He stood up naked and watching her curl to her side. Her expression was blank, dead and confused. A face he had never seen on her. She looked pale, as if she had seen a ghost. Somehow, she looked a bit older, perhaps because he had taken her young innocence from her.
He dressed, leaving his shirt off to cool his body. Fuu lay naked, curled in a small ball, keeping her knees to her chin. She wasn't crying, but the tears wouldn't stop. Jin closed the window, the fireworks had died, and so had the noise. If only someone had heard her. She wasn't sure if she was mad, or more hurt. Jin, had raped her. Good, honest caring Jin had forced himself on her, in the most brutal way. He sat there against the wall, feeling that he had only to kill her to complete his revenge.
"…Why? Why did you blame me?" She asked suddenly in a small more mature voice. Her face was still blank, and pale coloured a little with red and purple from the slaps. He looked over to her.
"While I was on that hill, Shino was being murdered. You should be thankful that more of me are not here to match the times she was taken…." Jin said coldly yet so calmly, as if the words had been on the tip of his tongue. Fuu's eyes closed, a few more tears rushing down her face and on to the cold dark wooden floor.
"I see…so it was me who raped and killed her than?" She said softly. Jin felt that reason again, that voice in his head that told him guilt. Fuu didn't rape Shino, torture her, or kill her. But it was still her fault.
"Don't act like you had nothing to do with it. It was because of your contract that I was unable…to save her." Jin's voice started off harsh, but had slowed down to a calm tone. Fuu wanted to say more, but it was clear, that Jin had already pinned her as the culprit. She remained quiet, cold and in pain. Jin rested his head back on the wall, trying to battle that voice that told him he had done wrong.
Had he made a poor decision? No, he couldn't have. While he ran to find Fuu, he had thought it over many times, and each time he had reasoned that she was in deed, at fault. When he reached her, he thought again, and again. Sure enough, he reasoned it was her fault. While he raped her, he confirmed his reason. Yet, how did it happen, that now, after he had hurt her in the worst way; not just by forcing himself on her, but by betrayal, that he felt guilt. He tried to calm himself, calm his mind as he rested there.
Fuu had thought that she would not fall asleep, yet, even with her faith in him betrayed; some part of her trusted him enough to sleep. He knew she had fallen to slumber, he knew that she would. Partly because he sensed she still trusted him, and partly because she was drained. He looked over, to her body, curled half on the futon and half on the cold floor. He stood up and went to her. He looked down to her pale broken body, he had abused her trust in the worst way, abused her physically too. He knelt down, and pulled her into his arms. He wasn't sure why he was doing this, but his body wanted to.
He was carrying her. He placed her gently on to the futon, keeping his eyes on her face and not her body. He didn't know why, but there was shame on him, and he wanted it gone. He did nothing wrong. She was responsible. He lost his love, and it was because of her. Nevertheless, he pulled the sheet over her body and let her sleep. He noted how purple her cheeks were becoming, he had hit her too hard. He would have made his point with just a couple of slaps, but he went overboard and beat her.
Jin stayed there, kneeling beside her for a long while just staring at her sleep. There was a moment where he looked over to his swords, thinking to pick one and slaughter her. But something told him not to. So he stayed in place watching her. His eyes moved down her body to the stains of blood that were soaking through the white sheets. There was more blood than he thought there would be. His eyes soften to more guilt, perhaps he had gone too roughly. He stared at the blood stains for a long while, remembering Fuu asking him why?
Suddenly, he felt the loss of Shino leave him, the angry revengeful feeling disappear. It was not Fuu's fault. His eyes closed, guilt surrounded his heart, pounding madly in his head. He had raped Fuu. He had raped Fuu, betrayed her, hurt her. He swallowed the clob of saliva stuck in his throat. His knees gave in, and he knelt down completely, sitting beside her. He wanted to weep. He had let a powerful emotion, take control of his skill of control. He was always a honorable samurai following a code of discipline and control.
But when he heard Shino's brutal death, all of that had left him. He was instead consumed completely by anger and madness. A animal inside of him had taken over, and clouded his judgment and mind. Suddenly, the memory of who actually saved Shino that night came to light. It was because of Fuu, who rushed to save him and his love, even after he had clearly told her that he would not be helping her anymore. She had forced Mugen to rush with her to find him and Shino surrounded by men. She had saved her, not Jin. Without his swords, he would have probably died there with Shino, had it not been for Fuu's loyalty to him.
Jin's head bowed in dismay.
"That's right…" He whispered. It was because of that single act, the fact that she came rushing to him when he needed her; that changed his mind. He let Shino slip away on that boat, because he was going to be loyal to Fuu; as she was to him. He had made a promise to deliver her to her Sunflower Samurai, and that was what he was going to do.
Jin's mind flood with regret, hurt and anger. He was mad at himself for forgetting such an important fact. He had raped the very person who had saved him, saved Shino. He had betrayed her sweet faithful heart, tarnished that loyalty she carried. He had assaulted everything that was wonderful about her. He had betrayed a true friend.
Tears followed his insight, rolling slowly down his cheeks.
"How could I have?..." He whispered to himself. His eyes opened to see Fuu still asleep, his sweat on her own, his stains and her blood forever on her. He hated himself, horribly. He wanted to walk to his swords and plunge each one into his chest.
"I…" He started. Her face was peaceful, just like it had been on their journey. He liked the way she looked when she slept. Trusting of him back than, and even now, after all that he had done.
"What have I done…?" He whispered faintly.
……………………………………………………….
When Fuu woke up, she had been changed back into her clothes, the blood stains lifted off of her futon and her body. Her face hurt as she rose up to sit.
"Was it all a dream?" She asked herself when she felt her cheeks. The painful realization that it wasn't. Her eyes saddened. Jin had robbed her. She noticed the clean sheets, and her clothes and became confused. She hoped that the inn's owner hadn't found her in that raped condition. How humiliating it was. She was no longer a virgin. She didn't care about her virginity though, it was Jin that was hurting her the most. How he had betrayed her unwavering trust in him.
Just than the door slid open, and in walked Jin, calm. Fuu's eyes sparkled with confusion and anger.
"Have you come to take anything else?" She asked calmly. Jin expected that. In fact, he deserved worse. He sat down beside her with a bowl of warm water and towels. Fuu stared at him with untrusting eyes. She was hurt, that he did this to her, and walked into her room; as if he had committed no crime. He was silent as he drenched the towel in the warm water and placed it gently on her cheek. She was confused for a moment, but that changed to anger, and she slapped his hand away.
"What do you think you're doing?" She shouted. Jin expected that too, but he expected the hit to land on his face. His eyes became soft and apologetic. His glasses were there to hide the expression of tears, but one had slid down before he could oppress it. Fuu saw the single tear roll down. She looked sharply up to his eyes, shocked. She didn't know what to think or do. It was quiet as he sat there as did she.
"I cannot give you back what I took savagely away from you…" He interrupted the silence with his calm voice, his vacant face, and still body. He seemed to tremble gently, as his eyes sparkled with promise of regretful tears. Fuu didn't say anything, she waited for him to finish.
"I blamed you for the death of someone that you saved…" He continued. His eyes moved to look into hers. She was shocked to hear him say it. She didn't understand what he was talking about.
"I never saved Shino." She said confused that there was perhaps another girl. His lips couldn't help but crack a soft smile. It was like her to not understand the great things she did to people even without knowing it. That was like her, to humbly trust and love everyone.
"You did. And you saved me." He said softly. Fuu didn't know what to think, or what to do. In a faint moment, while staring at his still figure, she had forgotten the crime he committed. But the pain in her chest and cheeks would not let her remain that way for long.
"Why did you do this to me? I trusted you so much." She whined angrily. She did trust him, more than she trusted anyone else, perhaps more than herself too. Jin knew that.
"It's in no defense, but I was blinded by rage. I…" He said staring down to his hands rested on his knees. Fuu shifted slightly to face him, feeling the pain throbbing between her legs. But she wanted Jin to know how angry she was, how much she hated him; and how she would stare at him with cold dark eyes as he explained.
"All my life, I have had nothing but control. I was in command of my mind and strength. I lived wandering the forest, but I still kept to code. But when I heard…" He stopped to look up at her, knowing that he would not find understanding in her. And she didn't understand, the situation of Shino dying had nothing to do with her. Jin realized that. He knew now that it had nothing to do with Fuu, but he wanted someone to go after, someone to hurt as much as he was hurt. He went after the only person he knew he could hurt easily, and as mercilessly as he wanted. He knew deep inside that Fuu had felt perhaps a little something for him; back on their journey, maybe even loved him. He had wanted to sub-consciously destroy those feelings she may have felt for him, because he wanted to prove to himself that he was not responsible for Shino's death. But he had always had the choice to leave, if he wanted to he could have. However, the truth was he needed Fuu and her companionship, perhaps it was because he too felt something for her.
It was silent for a long time, Fuu waited for him to finish explaining what drove him to this point. She did have to admit that she in a way, understood his insanity, and his mad dash to take revenge. He was blinded, and she remembered that from the look in his eyes last night. But that didn't change the fact, that he had raped her.
"When I heard that Shino was dead. I blamed myself first. Because I had made the sound decision to leave her in the temples care. But I couldn't handle being responsible for that horrible death." Jin looked again at her, searching her eyes, hoping to find a little bit of the same Fuu; the Fuu who existed before the rape.
"So I found you to blame."
"That's it. Just like that. You decided to run and find me, to rape me? So you could feel better? How does that make any sense? " She asked him, using a more stern tone of voice. She was hurting inside, her heart pounded a mile a minute as she stared angrily into his samurai black eyes. She saw, the lost, defeated man in those eyes; a man who regretted his acts. Why did he let himself get so blinded? Perhaps, for once in his life, he wanted no burden, no control to maintain; he only wanted to run away.
"That is what I decided." He said calmly. She saw the regret in his eyes, but his face was still emotionless, unregretful and still. She hated that he didn't break down and beg for her forgiveness as he made her beg for her safety. He was brutal and merciless on her, and now he sat there pleading temporary insanity.
"WHY! Why did you think you could do this? And to me? I trusted you. Had you come to me in love, I would have given myself willing to you!" She shouted. She didn't realize that she was shouting, or crying. Nor did she realize that her inner feelings had come out along with her rage. Jin seemed a little surprise. He knew that she felt strongly for him, but enough for her to submit to him willingly. He felt ashamed of himself. Why was he even thinking like this. He had raped her, hurt her; and now he was feeling warm knowing that she may love him. He didn't deserve her love or sympathy.
Yet, instead of slapping him and demanding he leave; or calling for help, she sat there talking to him. As if she was still in trusting terms with him. All his sudden thoughts hit him hard. He took off his glass's and pulled out his small dagger. Fuu was taken back by his strange movements, and his pull for his smallest samurai sword. She waited, watching him.
He was knelt down on his knees, with the dagger in front of him.
"I have committed a crime. Betrayed your faith in me. I cannot live in that." Jin said calmly. Fuu suddenly realized what he was going to do.
"I only hope that you will one day forgive my soul, so that I may have a chance to enter a peaceful place." He smiled, taking the dagger to his stomach. Fuu gasped and jumped to him, taking the dagger from him.
"Are you insane!" She screamed, slapping him across the face. Jin was alarmed by her. He looked at her with a puzzled expression watching small tears fly down from her face as she screamed at him.
"How dare you! How dare you take all of this from me, and than simply try to kill yourself. And what about me? Leave me here to live with your shame on me?" Fuu shouted. She was the angriest she had ever been. This was the same anger she had for her father, what she wanted to do to him. Slap him and tell him off. But it was Jin who was receiving all her complaints. Jin stared at her, his eyes with a lively shine of depression and regret. She was right, what good what it do for him to commit suicide. She was the one who would live in agony.
"How could you do this. How could you do this to me Jin?" She asked again. She had her answer, but it wasn't good enough. She still couldn't believe that he, Jin, silent caring Jin; had taken everything from her.
They sat there quietly, as Fuu cried remembering the nights events as he watched her. Her bruises were more defined by colour, and glistened with the streaks of water. She had started to glow beautifully as the tints of sun came into the room.
…………………………………………….
He came back into the room, after putting in the money for another night's stay. When asked who he was to the young girl from the owner's wife; Jin lied and claimed Fuu as his wife. He never meant to lie like that, and give her his name, but it was the first thing that had left his lips.
He found Fuu sitting by the window, staring out to the world. She hated the world, and all the people in it. She had thought that if anyone was going to hurt her, it would be Mugen; but Jin was the one who was pushing himself into her last night. She rested her head on her knee's, trying to make sense of her life.
"Here, eat something." Jin offered her some food he had bought. He knew she was hungry, from yesterday she was hungry. Fuu didn't move, she hated the sound of his voice. She wanted to tell him to leave, to get away from her and never come near her again; but she didn't. Maybe it was because she still believed in him, or maybe she felt she couldn't. Jin sighed sadly.
"Fuu."
"Don't touch me!" She shouted at the very feel of his hand on her shoulder. He moved his hand sadly. He sat down beside her holding the food in his hands, waiting for when she was feeling more hungry to give her it.
She had stayed in that room all day. Jin went in and out of the small place, bringing her water, and food to eat. He knew that she would not speak to him, but she needed to eat and drink something. She had suffered a lot of emotional stress, and if she didn't eat, she would become sick. Fuu denied speaking to him, keeping her eyes always away from him. Jin stayed far from her, trying to give her the comfort of his distance. At one point, while on her journey, Fuu was always searching for his company to feel comfortable and safe; now she didn't trust that company.
Momo-san squeaked around taking small bits of the food Jin had brought. He had nuzzled against Fuu's legs wondering innocently why she was so quiet. Fuu said nothing to her furry friend as she watched him. Momo-san spotted Jin on the other side, and ran to him. Jin was surprised to see that Momo-san still trusted him. He pet the little animal, saying his silent apologies for betraying his little trust. Fuu saw her squirrel on Jin's lap, the creature still trusted him, even though he had robbed her.
"You don't have to stay here." Fuu suddenly said. Jin was a little surprised to hear her talk to him. She had done nothing but cry to herself and torment him with lack of conversation. Fuu was the type who talked, all the time, non-stop. It was the first time, he saw her so silent.
"I do." Jin said back petting Momo-san still. Fuu looked up at Jin, angrily.
"And why?" She asked untrustingly. Jin looked back up at her in the most defenseless soft eyes she had ever seen.
"My life is in forever debt to you." Jin replied. Fuu was shocked to hear him say that. But why would she want her rapist to walk beside her, to stay with her at night.
"I don't want your life, near me." She replied angrily. Jin expected her to reject his vow to be her servant. After all, he could not repay her back with his death, so he would honor her as her slave.
"Than ask of me whatever, and I'll do it." He said hoping that she would give him the chance to repair some of the lost trust. Fuu snorted.
"Nothing. I want nothing from you." She said turning to face the sun. Jin said nothing, he only sat and watched her silently watch the blue sky. What could he say?
……………………………………..
Days had past, and Fuu had finally decided to leave her room, leave the village and move on. She wanted to remove herself from that futon, where she constantly remembered Jin's assault on her. She had nightmares, woke up in a sweat and madly breathing. Each time, she found Jin sitting not far from her, concerned. Many times, he went the extra step and poured her water to drink, but she always denied it. Most nights, she felt tears roll down her face, other nights she fell asleep filled with anger. But somehow, she never once felt scared, scared the Jin would harm her again. Maybe she had accepted his apology, maybe she wasn't really afraid or untrusting of him.
However, the time had come, for her to move on. Ten days, and she was now wanting to leave. She woke up that morning to find Jin awake, watching over her like he did all nights. She ignored him, and said nothing as she left. How he had known that she was ready to leave, he wasn't sure. But he went after her.
He kept a good distance back from her as she trailed in the forest, trying to pretend he was not there. Jin still felt he missed Shino, and wanted to see her grave, but he had to put her completely aside. He had to push her away from thought and memory, and focus on the person who needed him.
Fuu would every now and than look angrily back at him, as if to remind him that she hated him. But he remained there, walking behind her as she led the way. She wasn't sure where she was going, but in some way she felt better knowing that Jin was there. How quickly her hate for him, turn back into trust.
That first night, in the forest, they had finally spoken after ten days of silence.
"Why are you following me?" Fuu asked quietly eating the small meal he had fished for them. As he gave her more fish to eat, he realized how much he felt like her husband. Fuu felt, strangely enough, the same way. Perhaps that's why, she felt compelled to break their silent streak.
Jin didn't know exactly how to answer her, wondering if what he said really mattered.
"I mean you no more harm." He said taking a bite of his fire grilled fish. Fuu didn't say anything to that. She sat there, with him not too close to her side, wondering off. She thought about how she ended up here like this.
It was dark, and the animals of the forest had come out. Fuu didn't trust the shadows or the growls of the night. She was a little afraid, and was glad that Jin was there. He was awake too, looking into the fire in silence. What else could he say to her.
Fuu was tense as she looked around the forest trying to find the source of all the wild noises. Suddenly she jumped and gasped, a growl echoed. She held on to Jin's arm seeking his protection, something she thought she would never do again. Jin was surprised to feel her against him.
"Fuu, what is it?" He asked putting an arm around her back, wondering what had startled her. The noise stopped, all was quiet, except the beat of her heart and the crackle of the fire. She felt safe with him, and it bothered her. Unable to contain her mixed emotions she started to cry. Jin closed his eyes and pulled in the small beaten girl into him. Her head resting on his chest as she cried. She clutched on to his shirt, trying to bury herself into him. He felt that same regret and hurt. He wanted to take out his sword and kill himself for destroying her. Instead, he held Fuu tightly and warmly in his embrace.
When the tears stopped, Fuu felt better. So did Jin, he felt that she had in some small way forgiven him.
"Fuu." He said capturing her attention. She pulled back from him, and looked up at his calm serene face.
"Gomen. It's not much of a punishment, but my chest aches in pain from sorrow and regret." His face had saddened, he was truly ashamed of himself. Repulsed by his own body for taking such a bold and insane step on her. Fuu wanted to hate him, but something had changed her mind. She placed a hand on his, taking his attention away from the memories.
"Just vow, that you will never harm me again." She asked. Jin couldn't do anything, he had finally hit the bottom, and the tears he kept in for so long hurried out. He broke down. He slowly moved to hug her again, this time to release his own fears. She didn't move away from him, she stayed there, hugging him back.
"I will never harm you. Never." He stressed. He had never cried before, he should have many times in the past, but never did a tear escape his black eyes. He didn't want to welcome sorrow and pity into himself, yet there was no choice for him now. The emotion had consumed him, and all he could do was tell Fuu over and over that he would never harm her. And she believed him. All the trust she had lost, came back.
Jin's madness was over.
So I hope you guys liked it. It took 3 hours to write this! LOL So appreciate it danmit! ) Well see you guys in my next one shot.