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OK, Guys, I know you thought there were going to be more chapters, but truth be told, I think the story has
peaked and it's time to close it out before I kill it by overdoing it. So, after this one, there will only be one more
chapter. I've got my other two GA stories (Beautiful Mess and Aftermath) which I think will be much longer
than this one. Thanks for reading and please continue reading my other stories. And please, as always, tell me
what you think.
This chapter is going to encompass a few weeks time, it's a look at how they're making it without each other.
Against All Odds
Chapter 8: Life Ain't Always Beautiful
The concept of moving on was such a cliché. It was never as easy as everyone said it was. 'Get over him'
she'd been told by countless people. But how do you get over the fairy tale? How do you get over the knight in
shining armor? Except the armor wasn't so shiny and he wasn't exactly a knight. He's a surgeon, a very married
surgeon. He doesn't belong to me. He's married and 5,000 miles away.
Meredith had been in New York a little over a week. The transition wasn't exactly going well. Her mother
wasn't adjusting to the new facility well and she'd just started her new job at New York University Hospital. It
wasn't home, far from it. She hadn't slept well since she'd spent the last night in Seattle on the hardwood floor.
It was 5 am and she was staring at the ceiling of her new apartment. She hadn't bothered to unpack, she'd just
opened a few suitcases when necessary.
She turned on her side to stare out the window. Not that there was anything to see, just another building. She
sighed as her alarm started to go off. She had to be to work at 6. She rolled out of bed and padded to the
bathroom. It was strange being alone. Her mother was staying in a private ward at the hospital, so it was just
her… Her and these cold empty hallways. She pulled her sweater closer around her as she looked in the mirror.
She looked like hell. Not that she cared, after all, she wasn't exactly trying to impress anyone. She was here for
her mother, nothing else mattered.
MEANWHILE, BACK IN SEATTLE
It was 2 am. Derek was laying in an on call room, staring at the ceiling. He was half way through his 24 hour
shift. He knew he should be trying to get some sleep. Truth be told, he hadn't slept since…. Well, since that
night. He let his mind wander back to that evening. But, he couldn't stay in that memory too long, it was too
painful, too fresh. He forced his mind back to the present. Not any easy task, not by a long shot, considering
that even though he could pull himself out of that moment, he couldn't pull himself totally away from her memory.
She was everywhere. Her signature still passed in front of him every once in awhile, her friends talked about her
constantly. She'd been wrong, it wasn't easier, it was ten times more difficult. Now, every time he saw Addison,
she just reminded him of Meredith. More and more he was beginning to wish that Meredith had stayed and
Addison had gone to New York. Though, on some level, he couldn't help but believe that he'd always wanted
that, he just didn't know Meredith would be the one clear across the country.
He'd barely set foot in the trailer in the past week, timing his visits when Addison was at the hospital. He'd
even begun showering at the hospital. He just… He couldn't bring himself to look at her right now. Too much
was ricocheting through his head right now to attempt to explain anything to Addison, and good lord, she'd been
nagging him for an explanation for the last week. 'Derek, what's wrong?' 'Derek, we need to talk.' 'Derek, we
have to communicate.' 'Derek, you need to put effort into this too.' Finally, he'd gotten to the point where he'd
just turned around and walked the other way when he saw her coming. It wasn't that he enjoyed avoiding his
wife, but he saw no other option, not just yet.
ONE MONTH LATER – SEATTLE
It was midnight. Derek was sitting in his office, the entire room dark except for his desk light. The glow tossed
a weak light on the papers sitting in front of him. His pen had been poised over the signature line for the last
hour. All he had to do was put pen to paper and be done with it. He closed his eyes and breathed. "Meredith. I
know what I want. I want Meredith." He told himself softly as he lowered the pen and signed it all away.
He gathered the papers, stuffed them in his bag without thinking twice. He had two stops to make. First,
Webber. He knocked and entered the office. Webber looked up expectantly. Derek pulled his vacation papers
out of his bag and tossed it on the desk. "I'm on vacation." Was all Derek said as he walked out of the room.
"Starting when!" Webber called. "Now!" Derek answered as he headed to his next destination.
She wasn't in her locker bay. He checked Neonatal and found her walking out of a patient's room. She
looked up, surprised he was looking for her for once. She smiled tentatively, hoping he'd return the gesture. He
didn't. He pulled a packet of papers out of his bag. She recognized them immediately. She said nothing. There
was nothing she could say. The fact that they were in his hands said it all. She took them from him, ripped them
open to the appropriate pages and initialed and signed where indicated. She folded them up and handed them
back to him, along with his ring. He accepted it and turned on his heel and left.
NEW YORK
Meredith exited NYUH and sighed. Work was no better than it had been when she started. Though she
supposed that was mostly her fault, seeing as she really hadn't gone out of her way to make new friends or meet
new people. She'd told herself it was because she had no time. Whatever time she had when she wasn't
working was spent with her mother or sleeping, and eating when she remembered. She'd lost 10 pounds since
moving there, not good for someone of her size. It was 10 pm. She pulled her coat tighter around her fragile
frame as she hailed a cab. She gave her address and sat back in the putrid smelling cab and closed her eyes.
The moment she did, his face appeared in front of her. The memories came flooding into her mind. They
washed over like a calming wave. She hated that he still affected her so much. She'd been gone for over a
month, plenty of time to start the healing process. But, she was no further along than she had been the night she
pushed him out. She wasn't stupid. Not entirely. She knew why she wasn't healing. It was because she didn't
want to. As stupid and as pathetic as it made her feel, she didn't want to get over him. Getting over him meant
that she wouldn't get to feel this way about him anymore, and she wasn't entirely sure that she was ready to give
that up, after all, who's to say she'd ever feel that way again?
The driver pulled up to her apartment and she dragged herself out of the cab, paying the fare as she stepped
out. She looked up at the building, sighed and started in. 5 floors later she was at her door. She shoved her key
in the lock and let herself in. She dumped her stuff in the first available chair and headed to the closet known as
the kitchen. She pulled out a bottle of wine (she'd given up tequila when she'd given up Derek… She missed
them both equally) and strode to her stereo and flipped to the first CD, and the second song. Meredith wasn't
normally someone who was a country music fan, but it was good crying music. Gary Allen's husky voice started
as Meredith sunk down into a chair facing the city.
Life Ain't Always Beautiful
Life ain't always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down
It can break your heart
Life ain't always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day
But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time
No, life ain't always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life ain't always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
Life ain't always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walking all these lonely miles
And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Yes I can dream
But life don't' work that way
But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time
No life ain't always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey life ain't always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride
"Damn, I have to stop listening to this stuff." She sniffled as she yanked the blanket off and strode to her
bedroom. She was not going to spend the night crying and drinking wine. If she was going to cry, she could at
least dignify her tears with tequila. She changed into jeans, a green sweater and shoved her feet into brown
boots. She grabbed her coat, scarf and purse and headed out. She found a bar within 2 minutes. She pushed the
door open and instantly she felt like she was back in Seattle. The place was practically empty. She took a seat at
the bar as the bartender sidled up. He was round and smiled warmly. "Never seen you in here before." He
commented. "Tequila. And I just moved here a month ago." She told him softly. He handed her a shot and his
hand. "Joe." He said, introducing himself.
She almost choked on her drink. "You ok?" He asked. She nodded, her face getting red. "She's OK Joe.
You just reminded her of someone she knows back home." A voice said from behind her. There's no way I'm
this drunk. I can't be. So why do I hear him? She turned slowly in her barstool. "Joe, can you give us a
second?" Derek asked as he approached. The man nodded, heading down to the other end.
"What are you doing here?" She choked out as he continued walking until he was directly in front of her. "I
thought it would be best to deliver these in person." He responded, pulling out some papers and handing them to
her. She took them, confused. "Open them." He urged. She flipped them open. She was holding the Shepherd's
divorce papers. She frantically flipped to the back page to find 2 signatures. She looked up at him. He wasn't
smiling, laughing, crying. Nothing, no emotion. He was waiting for her reaction. She sighed, took a deep breath,
and opened her mouth.
"It's not that easy. You can't just expect me to get over the past…" She trailed off. He stepped closer to her,
invading her space.
"Yes it is that easy. You know why it's that easy? Because when you really and truly love somebody, there's
no limit to what you'll do to prove it. You love them so much that you travel across the country to a city you hate
because of what it represents in your past, just to hand them the proof that you love them. You love them
enough to throw away every safety net you have just for the opportunity to be there, with them And no, I don't
just expect you to get over it. I know I shouldn't ask that of you, but I can't help it Meredith. I've tried, but I
just can't help it, because there's nothing I won't do or say to fix this. I want to be with you. I want you. And,
whether you want to admit it or not, I think you want to get over it. I think, or at least, I hope you want to be
with me as much I want to be with you. Now, here I am, standing in front of you, asking you for one last chance.
I've asked a thousand times. This is the last time. I will not ask ever again. If you want me to go, I will, but I will
not come back here. If you tell me no, then that's it." He told her. He held her gaze and waited for her response.
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