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Chapter 7: Thoughts
Sesshoumaru gazed at the full moon as wandered beneath it, but gave it little thought. He had come out to the night to cleanse his mind, not encumber it.
He still didn't know exactly what it was that gnawed at his insides and tore him apart, that left him in fever. He had had her, and that was what he wanted all along, and yet he wasn't appeased. He wanted her again with a new hunger, and he knew the hunger could be sweetly quenched, but that it would flame again, a fire burning brighter every time.
Fever, hai, she was like a fever to him. A woman with the provocatively passionate sensuality of a sun-goddess, and she despised him.
Once he had meant to leave her free, to offer peace. Now he could no longer leave her free, but perhaps he could still offer peace.
Kikyo. The name tore across his mind, and he thought of his first love with deep and festering pain. But when he closed his eyes, all he saw were hazel, flashing with brilliance and proud defiance, narrowing, misting.
"Mate," he murmured aloud, " you will learn yet that I am your master. And you will learn yet that I am your master. And you will cease your dreams of a different life and a different lord, of the death of all that is youkai. For I am youkai, mate, but I am also the life you will know from here on. Hai, my dear mate, you will break to me. You cannot deny yourself. By your choice or mine, you will come to me, and I will take what is mine. But I will reach out my hand in kindness first, and see if it cannot be taken gently. You will not cry again when you have been filled with the full joy of being a woman in my arms." He shook himself, grinding his teeth together.
Then, he did notice the moon, and he frowned. It was a strange moon. Black dances seem to play upon it. Shadows of the gods… a rumbling in Heaven.
Sesshoumaru scowled fiercely at the moon, at whatever the shadow dancers meant. Then he returned to the home, the castle which was his pride and slept in the bedroom beside his mate's, alone.
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