The M13 General Electric Mini-gun is a hell of a gun. It's also someone else's joke, so I'm not going to touch it here.

Fred Weasley fingered the trigger of the Glock 17 9mm Automatic lovingly. He pushed the clip of 'happy face'(footnote 1) dum-dums into the stock of the gun with a soft click. George looked up from the film he was watching, Carry on Emo Kid, just as a snivelling, self-hating Syd James got an eyeful of Bab's baps and then stormed out because he was so disgusted by his own erection.

'You alright there, Fred?' asked George.

'Yeah, I'm fine,' Fred replied. 'I'm just wondering if we've been forgotten about.'

'I was wondering that too,' George said. 'You would have thought that Harry would have taken the hint.'

'What, that this place, that we set up with his money, was in fact a front for our illegal arms trading?'

'Maybe, you know, or maybe just because some of the 'jokes' that we've been selling are so obviously lethal and useful enough to be used in a tight situation towards the end of a book.'

'I did always fancy us as Q from the James Bond Movies.'

'If Q had been played by Graham Chapman instead of John Cleese, obviously.'

'Obviously.'

'George?'

'I'm Fred,'

'Sorry, Fred, then?'

'Yes George?'

'Do you ever feel like we're morons?'

'It's only because we're written that way.'

'Oh.'

'Do you know what would be worse that being a moron?'

'What's that?'

'Being a tool.'

'How so?'

'Like, if we'd only been written into this story to be an advertisement. SOme kind of viral rubbish.'

'They wouldn't do that to us, would they? We've been providing the fart gags since book one, they couldn't just discard us like that.'

'Could they?'

'Shouldn't I have asked that?'

'I really don't know anymore,' Fred said. 'Would you like a slice of brisket loaf? I made it with mum's recipe.'

'Yes, Fred. That would be lovely.'

(1)Hilariously self-modified by the Weasley twins on-site at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, these ordinary bullets have had a happy face 'magically' inscribed onto their lead tips, so that they explode on impact, shattering bone and ensuring a messy wound. Watch the expression on your best friend/worst enemy's face when you use one of these to take them down. they won't be getting up again soon, the Weasleys will promise you that.