When we left our crack team of idiots they were standing in a hallway not doing anything important. In fact they were just engaging in mindless stupidity. So to hurry things along and spare you as much mindless drivel as possible let's move on to one of the relevant story arcs of the fic, shall we?
The Bravo Team took off from the R.P.D., heading toward the Arklay Forest in search of the cannibal murderers. What they were about to find was something much worse. Not to mention their part of the story would only be half-ass explained in Resident Evil: Zero.
For the benefit of those watching at home the following chapter will mostly be in script form, so it is easier to understand and read since you are 'hearing' everything over the radio…just who is she kidding, it's really because she's too lazy to write it out properly…
I heard that…
I meant for you to hear that you little gnome of evilness…
That wasn't very nice you know…
It wasn't meant to be nice…
I think I'll go cry now. You have no idea how hard it is to write these fics!
Oh great, she's gone all emotional…
Oh just you wait till chapter four…
Uh…anyway, they are flying over the forest now, Joseph is monitoring the radio…
Joseph: (over the radio sitting comfortably back at the station) This is command to Bravo Chopper, Delta-46578-48903-9778-9038-7989308-409839058732-978748-9237-4893-27894578-239758-23740...do you copy?
Kevin: That is by far the longest and stupidest identification number for a frigging chopper I have ever heard.
Joseph: (giggling spastically) I made it up myself! Now how are you doing?
Kevin: Oh just peachy, why I can't wait to die a horrible and meaningless death by zombie dogs.
Joseph: (sweat drops)
Forest: (in the background) OWWWW!
Rebecca: Sir! Forest just hurt himself with the seatbelt!
Enrico: He hurt himself with a seatbelt? What an accident prone person.
Richard: Well duh!
…slapping noise…
Edward: Oww…geez Rebecca.
Rebecca: Keep your wandering hands to yourself idiot.
Kenneth: Hey guys…I think there is something on the rotor of the chopper…
Enrico: Kenneth you have an overactive imagination…there is nothing out there.
Forest: Oww…
Richard: Sir, Forest just poked himself in the eye with a piece of lint…
Kenneth: No, there is something out there. It looks like several sticks of dynamite taped to the rotor with a timer.
Enrico: It's just your imagination…
Richard: Who took my shotgun?
Rebecca: (playing with Richard's shotgun) Haven't seen it.
…exploding sounds…
Kevin: Bravo Chopper, Delta -big long ass number- to base…we're about to crash thanks to several sticks of dynamite taped to the rotor of the chopper…
Joseph: (giggles stupidly while looking slightly confused)
Enrico: WE'RE GOING DOWN!
Richard: I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU CHIRS!
Forest: THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!
Kenneth: I TOLD YOU SO!
Rebecca: EDWARD GET YOUR HAND OFF MY ASS!
Edward: YOU'RE NO FUN!
…loud crashing noises and the radio goes dead…
Back at the S.T.A.R.S. office Joseph stares at radio for several seconds, giggling spastically. He giggles, it's what he does. Finally he turns toward Captain Wesker who is currently sitting behind his desk, sniffing a large tube of White Rain hair gel.
"Sir, there as been an unexplainable engine problem on the Bravo Chopper." Joseph giggles again. "I think they crashed."
"Well, we should investigate!" Wesker slurs, waving his arms around for no apparent reason. "But we'll wait till tomorrow."
"Uh…why?"
"Because Rebecca needs time to find her partner character and have a big adventure before turning into a wuss and depending solely on Chris to get her out of the mansion." Wesker takes another hit off the hair gel. "Besides I'm busy."
Uh…yea…umm…have I mentioned how stupid these people are?