The Dentist: Chapter Seven.
"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."
Hey guys, thanks again for the awesome reviews! I'll be giving my recognition at the end of the chapter. Oh, and I don't own Dbz. Or Tylenol. Too bad, I'd be filthy stinkin' rich.
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Piccolo glared at Nail, and looked back at his microwave. It was still smoking. During the little episode with Lila, everyone had forgotten about the potato Piccolo had left in the microwave.
"You imbecile! You said ten minutes!" Piccolo yelled, making Nail wince.
"You were supposed to turn the damn thing over, smart guy! It's not my fault it blew up." Nail grumbled as he chewed on his fingernails and looked at Sarah, who was trying not to laugh.
"It's shot to hell and back, Piccolo. You might need a new one." She remarked, setting her hands on her hips. "You really killed the crap out of it by nuking that potato. Haven't you cooked before?"
"Not really," Piccolo admitted, feeling an attack come on. He quickly pulled out his inhaler and took a deep breath. He put it back in his coat pocket and sighed. "I guess I'll get one tomorrow."
"You weren't kidding, Piccolo. That woman is horrible." Sarah said offhandedly, looking at her fingernails. She obviously had been wanting to bring the subject up for some time. "I could sense the evil coming from her, practically. I bet she was one of those party girls who has tattoos in discrete places."
"Lower back and shoulder." Piccolo said shrugging. "It's just going to look too young for her in a few years."
"Those tattoos are hot." Nail said, but quickly shook his head, as if trying to get rid of a mental image. "But on SNL, they showed this commercial thingy of what happened to them in aging years."
"Oh I saw that! That was so nasty." Sarah chimed in, obviously trying to assist Nail. "So don't worry Piccolo. At least you won't have to look at a gradually sagging tattoo anymore!"
Piccolo knew they were trying to help, so he didn't voice his opinion on what complete idiots they were sometimes. Instead, he muttered a quiet, "Thanks."
Sarah and Nail beamed at each other. They evidently thought they were making Piccolo feel better. Nail looked serious for a moment at Piccolo, all joking put aside.
"But this is ridiculous, Piccolo. You have to admit that Lila isn't the only woman in the world. It's been five months, for God's sake. Time to move on. If you don't, people might begin to wonder."
"About what?" Piccolo asked defensively, scowling at his twin.
"Well, Piccolo, there's no easy way of saying this, but I think you might be gay."
"I AM NOT GAY!" Piccolo thundered, making Nail wince and cover his ears.
"Then why haven't you even been LOOKING for anyone else, eh? You walk by a hot woman everyday and haven't even asked her out."
"Who?" Piccolo asked, bewildered.
"Your secretary, stupid!" Nail yelled, waving his arms.
"She's married with a kid, genius!"
"Actually divorced. And I know she has a kid, have you seen her-" Nail was cut-off by Piccolo's glare and harsh words.
"How would you know that?" He asked icily, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"I asked her, duh." Nail replied, rolling his eyes. "Kid, you know the scenario. Would Piccolo appear gay to the public?" Nail consulted the girl imploringly.
Sarah thought about this briefly, casting nervous glances at Piccolo, who was boring a hole through her eyes with his stare. "Well, I uh… Couldn't say, really. Heh heh…" She laughed apprehensively, looking at the ground. "But it's kinda sad… You're like Monk, only you hate your wife and she isn't dead."
"Unfortunately." Piccolo muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I'm just not eager to go through the same things I did with Lila, that's all. I mean, what if the next one is worse?"
"That's impossible. There's only one she-devil on this plane, Piccy, and you two are divorced." Nail grinned, slapping the back of his brother's head playfully. "Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"
"That's what you said when I asked you if you thought I should ask Lila to marry me." Piccolo pointed out in exhaustion, running a hand over his smooth head.
"Well, I was wrong." Nail said, rubbing the lobe of one of his long ears, a gesture Piccolo knew meant he was frustrated… Or lying. Nervous habits die hard.
"Wouldn't be the first time." Piccolo muttered, rolling his eyes.
"When? I'm usually right about these things." Nail said defensively, scowling.
"Usually!" Piccolo exclaimed, throwing up his hands. "Have you completely blocked out the last couple of decades?"
Nail blinked, looking hurt. "Geez, you sure know how to say it like it is, bro."
Piccolo huffed and turned away. Nail shrugged at the kid, who was writing something down. She looked back at him and shrugged too.
"He's the only guy I know who goes through a period." Nail whispered, only to be hit across the back of his head by Piccolo.
"Shut up, will you?" Piccolo growled menacingly.
"Piccolo, have you ever tried forgiveness?" Sarah suddenly spoke up, as if struck by an idea. "I mean, sometimes when I feel bad I try just being as good as I can. Then I feel more at peace. You know, wishing good things towards others- oh CRAP." She said quickly, slapping a hand over her eyes. "I just remembered I have to go to a rehearsal dinner tonight, dangit!"
"What for?" Nail asked curiously as the kid put on her coat.
"My brother's getting married tomorrow night."
"How can you FORGET that?" Piccolo asked in confusion.
"Well, it was kinda sudden." She said quietly, running a hand over her hair. "Things happen, you know? Anyway, my brother is a moron. I don't see how a nice girl like Lindsey got mixed up with him." She walked up to Piccolo, grinning. "But these things happen, eh pal? Wedding was moved up two weeks ago."
"We all know why weddings are moved up." Nail grinned, scratching his head.
"Nail, shut UP." Piccolo growled, elbowing his brother. "That's really rude."
"He's right, unfortunately. Ugh." The girl put a hand to her eyes and sighed. "Tom has always been a little uncontrollable. Oh well, nothing we can do about it now, except hope for the best. I'll be seeing you guys, ok?"
"Have fun." Piccolo said sarcastically, receiving a scoff from his diminutive friend.
"Not likely. I always manage to screw these things up… But my mom said she'd maul me if I did it again, so I have to watch myself. Bye!" She hurried out the door, leaving Nail and Piccolo alone in the den.
"She's interesting enough. Seems like you actually found yourself a friend." Nail observed, making his brother snort.
"Yeah, she makes me feel old." Piccolo mused, rubbing his chin.
"Really? I would've thought you'd feel like a kid again." Nail said in surprise. "I mean, it's not like you're hanging around with decrepit old fogies, right?"
Piccolo merely looked at his brother in annoyance. "Thank God Dad isn't still alive."
The weekend had gone by in a rather boring fashion. The neighbors pressured him into decorating his house, since it was the only one not shining with lights. Not wanting to start an angry mob, Piccolo complied, though he nearly broke his neck stringing up the blinky lights to his garage. For the first time in a long time (he couldn't even remember when) he was actually relieved to get back to work. When he arrived at the office Monday, the kid was already there and waiting.
"You're here early…" He ventured, raising a brow. Sarah sighed and pointed inside her mouth.
"I know I have a cavity, but I have another toothache, and it's throbbing!" She whined.
"Come on, let's get started." Piccolo said, waving a hello to his receptionist. He really looked at her today, per Nail's instructions. She was actually very pretty. She had a sweet, heart shaped face that smiled every time he saw her. She had thick, long hair that Piccolo never really appreciated before. It was a beautiful shade of blonde, one that actually looked natural. And of course, her figure was rather... Well, nicely proportioned. Piccolo shook his head and kept walking though, remembering how her care-free disposition tended to give him severe headaches.
"Oh yeah, how was the wedding?" Piccolo asked, looking down at the kid. She smirked up at him, doing the thumbs-up.
"It was an Irish wedding, all the way. I don't care about those stuffy people on Lindey's side. The room was half full with drunk Catholics, and that's what counts." She said, a hint of pride in her voice.
"Did you drink?" Piccolo asked, a brow raised in suspicion. The girl scoffed and rolled her eyes.
"A bit like a fish. My oldest brother Dan is cool and snuck me some beer throughout the night." She said thoughtfully as they came into the dental room, which hosted an unfriendly looking chair. "Say Piccadilly? Is this going to hurt, 'cause I have a low-threshold for pain."
"It shouldn't." Piccolo said in a purposefully undecisive voice. "But you never know."
"Shut up! You meanie, getting a poor little person like me all scared. You need to get your jollies another way." She huffed as she crept nearer the chair of doom. Piccolo chuckled and pulled on some gloves.
"I'm just yanking your chain. It's not going to hurt at all."
The girl looked at him in shock and smiled. "Piccolo… You made a joke!"
Piccolo looked thoughtful for a moment before grinning slightly. "Yeah, yeah I did, huh?"
"I'm so proud of you! See? Hanging out with me has improved your disposition. I knew it all along." She said smugly, getting comfortable in the large chair. Piccolo shook his head and snorted as he opened her mouth with two latex fingers. He peered inside her mouth, looking for the source of her pain. He found it a moment later, in the form of an incoming tooth. It had begun to poke out of her gums, which explained the throbbing. She must be getting her wisdom teeth, it appeared.
"Nothing to worry about. Just make sure you take a little Tylenol or something for it, and the pain should go away on that end. However, it's time we take care of that cavity."
"Aw crap." The kid groused, closing her eyes tight. "I never had any before, so be patient with me!"
Piccolo nodded and turned towards the door. "Goku! Get in here, we have a filling to do." He barked, sending his assistant running in.
"Boss, you feeling ok?" Goku asked, looking slightly concerned.
"Famous, why?" Piccolo asked in irritation, ready to get to work.
"You… didn't turn on the coffee." He said in a low, sheepish tone. "You never work without your coffee."
"I feel better, actually, than when I drink that junk. I'm giving up coffee for Lent."
"Boss, it's Christmas time."
"Whatever. Are you going to lecture me or get my drill?"
Thirty minutes later, Piccolo sighed and snapped off his gloves. He smiled grimly and patted Sarah's head.
"How you feeling?" He asked, receiving a glare. Well, partial glare. The left side of her face was still numb.
"Cwappy."
"Well, you chewed through your cheek and bit my drill. What do you think you should feel like?"
She considered this before shrugging. "Ah could-nt feel anysing." She muttered, rubbing her cheek. "Du wend a widdle twiggah happy wid dat noduhcane." She sat up and tried moving her mouth, with no success. "Tanks a wot, Picawo."
Piccolo tried hard not to laugh, but her speech was too humorous. He chuckled at her annoyed expression, and the way she looked at him through one semi-closed eye.
"Ith noth funay." She snapped as she got off the chair. She wobbled a bit before sitting down again.
Piccolo frowned and felt her head. "Take it easy. You had a lot of happy gas, and you'll probably feel a little disoriented. Don't stand up so fast, you'll get a head rush and fall over."
"Mmm-tay." She said getting ready to stand up again. Piccolo looked at his watch and shrugged.
"I have some time before my next appointment, kid. You wanna hang out here while that stuff wears off? You won't be able to talk coherently for a little bit." Piccolo ventured, getting a nod from the incapacitated patient. "Good," He nodded, going over to the sink and washing his hands. "So, how's school going?" He asked this mostly to annoy her, since he knew she didn't like school, and didn't like to talk about it without Novacaine in her mouth, much less with it. However, she rolled her eyes and humored him.
"Thucks. But ath leasth Ah am gethin' outh thoon." She muttered, looking at her face in a mirror. "Wha Nail say ater Ah yeft yas night?"
"Nothing much, he was just being retarded as usual. He says he's staying with me until I find a girlfriend." Piccolo sighed, drying his hands on a paper towel.
"Tho thum time den, huh?" She asked, half-smiling. Piccolo glared at her and sneered.
"Very funny. It's a serious problem, though! I can't stand his attitude for very long, but he won't budge without female proof." Piccolo lamented, putting a hand to his eyes.
"Den ya betta git thum-one fath, eh Picawo?" Sarah remarked, smirking.
"Shut up."