Chapter Nine

Goodbye My Lover

Malfoy dragged himself from the floor, put back on his underwear, and put the rest of his clothes on the couch as he cleaned up after our little late night escapade the sounds of James Blunt's Goodbye my lover wafted up from the great hall where the Valentines ball was still in full swing. He flicked his wand and cleaned the red blood on the white rug without as much as a trace of what had just transpired. He went into my room to apologies to find me not in there he decided i would be crying in the bathroom. He knocked on the door and when he did not get an answer, he got worried. After three minutes of knocking and calling panic seized, him and he knocked down my door not thinking of using his wand.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

When he entered the sight that greeted him made him feel sick to his stomach. There was the angel he had just felt underneath him whose body he had loved and brought to its highest point in personal pleasure alike to the pleasure I had given him, seemingly asleep in a bath of my own blood. My face white as a sheet, my eyes peacefully closed and a small smile on my face hoping in death I would find happiness. He rushed to my side wanting it to be an illusion wanting it to be a joke or a dream as long as it wasn't real.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

"Hermione what have you done?" He asked the silence his eyes full of unshed able tears for the love he couldn't save.

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one. You have been the one for me.

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one. You have been the one for me.

He put his hand in the dark red water, which contained the juice of my life. Disgusted by what he would find but knowing he had to go on. He had to know if he could help. He sought out my hand but what he found was far worse than what he wanted. He felt the hacking of my wrist and he wanted to throw up in the bathtub that i was bathing in my blood in. I felt as if the world he had known and loved had been blown out of proportion if not apart.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on, remember me,

Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd be the father of your child.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

He lifted what was left of my hand hanging loosely from my wrist from the bath my blood was still pouring from my veins but he knew from my face and my skin that i was beyond help to him i was dead. He kissed the wound my blood on his lips; two tears feel from his eyes to my wrist.

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one. You have been the one for me.

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one. You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.

In mine when I'm asleep.

And I will bear my soul in time,

When I'm kneeling at your feet.

The water changed from red to clear in a matter of minutes.

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one. You have been the one for me.

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one. You have been the one for me.

My eyes fluttered open and i remembered that I was in the bath and then I had remembered what I had done and why i had done so beside the bath was Malfoy his eyes red and swollen with tears his face a mix of sadness and happiness torn between his emotions his lips red with my blood.

I'm so hollow, baby,

I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

I'm so hollow, baby,

I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Anger filled my like a ball of fire and rage bigger than the sun where my heart once was there was only pain, hate, blame, guilt and anger ever burning anger.

"What did you do to me Malfoy?" i croaked at him his face now just a look at surprised.

"I don't... I don't know..." he stuttered in reply.

"Why didn't you leave me to die," i said calmly making it cut into him more, "didn't you hear me I don't love you," i delivered this blow tactfully, "Why can't you just leave things be? If you hadn't changed me or helped me, you would never have loved me."

"You know that's a lie."

"No, you know it's the truth and don't want to admit it." I pulled myself from the bath my dress weighing me down filled with water but rather than take it off in front of Malfoy i just tried to move with it.

"Hermione, you have too much to live for. Why can't you see that? You waste it away on precious potter who treats you like shit and doesn't care! You are so much better than that and you know it."

"Oh and doing you is doing better?"

"No it isn't and that is not my point! You are too smart for that!"

"Yes Malfoy I'm so smart that i slept with you, that's really intelligent."

"JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!" He yelled for what i thought was the first time. '"I wish you would listen to your heart instead of your head when it comes to love. If you had listened to your head, you wouldn't have just lost your virginity to me and if you had listened to your heart, you wouldn't have killed yourself. You wouldn't have let me give you mine. How do you think i felt when i found you dead right after i gave you my most precious possession? After i gave you my heart and you tore it to shreds dammnit... I don't care if you don't love me but i don't think i could live knowing you had killed yourself because of me so stop being so damn bloody selfish!" I pulled back my hand and slapped him across the face leaving a nice red mark on his cheek and a small cut from the gem in my ring.

"I gave you what you wanted Malfoy how is that selfish? I gave you my body but I will never give you my heart Malfoy," I spat in his face, turned on my heel and stormed from the bathroom back to my room and took of my heavy wet dress and muttered a quick drying spell so it wouldn't grow mould and threw it in with the rubbish under my bed. I braved my way back to my bathroom where Malfoy was still sitting on the floor staring into space. Without so much as a word to him, I picked up the bottle of Jim beam from the floor beside the bath and picked up the tablet packets. At least i would have no troubles sleeping. I locked my room solidly once i got back inside the warmth of it and sat on the edge of the bed the bottle Fred and George had given me. I pulled out my chocolate stash and started to pig out and drink heavily, finally fully sedated by alcohol chocolate, sugar and a few too many joints I remembered something.

When I had died my should had lingered behind. I had not been my time. I had seen Malfoy come in and seen the pain in his face and most of all I could feel the love and sadness in his heart. I could feel everything he had felt. He had leaned over my dead body and kissed the wound that had caused to be fatal and tore is heart to pieces. I had watched him cry and watched as my body had slowly come back to life and eventually all had been black and I had been alive again. I looked at my wrists to see two thin ugly scars that you wouldn't see if you weren't looking. Love had saved me, just like Harry's parents. Only love and the truth would set me free.