A/N: I apologize in advance, VERY short chapter!

Ok, so here's what's going on. First the Alpha team wound up in the mansion. Then Jill tried to kill Wesker, then she smacked Barry, then she happened upon Kenneth getting eaten by a zombie. Which, incidentally, she thought was some kind of weirded out kissing session. So then Barry took ten minutes to kill a zombie and then both him and Jill went back to the lobby to find Wesker.

Now that you're up to speed let's get on with the next chapter of this screwed up story…

Jill checked the lobby for about one minute and couldn't find Wesker. Barry took twenty minutes to look and that includes looking under the typewriter. He only quit looking when Jill smacked him. They traded some conversation including Barry handing Jill some lock picks and calling her the 'Mast of Unlocking'. Jill then stomped out of the lobby leaving a bloody and unconscious Barry on the floor.

Basically those two aren't getting along, go figure. While they were busy fighting and Wesker was busy hiding, Chris was upstairs indulging in random stupidity.

Let's watch…

Chris skipped through the hallway in a mindless way that only the truly stupid possess, meaning it was with boundless and pointless enthusiasm. He hummed, he whistled, he pranced, he almost got bitten by like five zombies. Finally he ran out of hallway and wound up at a door. This is going to get interesting folks. After staring at the door and drooling for several minutes he finally remembered how to open it.

The door slammed open, crashed into the wall, and ruined the wallpaper. Chris bounded through and struck a heroic and very stupid looking pose.

"The door has been destroyed! I am the winner!"

Several zombies that had been following him turned to look at each other, shook their heads, and shambled off to chew on something far less stupid and annoying. Chris, obviously, did not notice any of this. Instead he circled the railing, got dizzy…well, dizzier than usual…tripped, and fell down the stairs. Upon landing he jumped to his feet, struck another pose, and shouted…

"I'm ok!"

Not that anyone really cared. He looked around and saw another door. Taking a few minutes less than the last time, Chris threw the door open. He grinned and prepared to strike yet another pose when his face suddenly made contact with a bat.

"You're not eating my cute yet incredibly firm ass!"

Chris stumbled a bit then the bat crashed down on his head. He hit the floor with a loud thud, still trying to pose.

"Die zombie bastard!"

Rebecca let out a Xenia: Warrior Princess battle cry, jumped through the air, and brought the bat down on Chris' back. She then proceeded to beat him about the head and face with as much power as she could muster. After several minutes of this she sat down on the floor breathing heavily.

"There, that will teach you."

"I like waffles…" Chris moaned through the haze of pain. "Can I be a mongoose dog?"

"Chris?" Rebecca quickly chucked the bat under a nearby bed and rolled Chris over. "Oh dear, who did this to you?"

"I dooon't knooooow."

Rebecca took charge of the situation, mixed up some local herbs she had found, and chucked them down his throat. In five seconds Chris was back on his feet, heroic pose and all.

"So where is everyone?"

Chris shrugged, looking all cool. "Don't know. Joseph was playing with some doggies! When we ran here I saw one of them heading into the woods with one of his legs."

"Yea, ok. Anyway we need find a way out of here. So, I'll tell you what. You go look for some way out, I'll stay here and secure this room."

Rebecca smiled and shoved him out the door. Seconds later the door slammed in Chris' face. Undeterred, Chris bounded off to find a way out. What he didn't notice was that Rebecca had thieved both his gun and combat knife, leaving him completely unarmed. Not that it really mattered much, Chris still had his stupidity as a defense.

Meanwhile in some other area of the mansion we find Wesker indulging in his own brand of stupidity. He was sitting in the library playing Devil May Cry on the PS2. So much for leadership.

As you can see teamwork is not in anyone's vocabulary here in the Spencer Mansion.

What's going to happen next? I don't know but I bet it's something stupid…