What you looked beyond the thin layer of reason recently?

Safe, In Your Arms

Chapter 11: Deeper than the Surface

Forrest groaned and sighed. She leaned against his chest and felt all warm and fuzzy inside. He didn't mind her leaning on him. Kai wasn't the greatest person to hold a conversation with but still, he showed his interest in their friendship with other ways. She was glad that she could just lean into his chest subconsciously and fall asleep in Kai's minty scent. They often went to the backyard of the Hiwatari mansion and stare at the stars without talking to each other but they knew that it was only then that they had the most fun. They star gazed.

Kai enjoyed how Forrest could be so quiet when she wanted and sometime she would ramble on forever when she was nervous. He liked it how she didn't ask him all kinds of questions, either about his life or about his beyblading career. She just told him how beautiful the stars were, how the wind feels chilly, and some other things that were meaningless. He liked her as a friend because she was so carefree, she would take all the worries off his mind for a few seconds and no one other than her could do that. And every time they stayed star gazing; he assured himself that it did not bother with his relationship with Felicia. I only seek a friendship in her. Nothing more, nothing less, he thought. It was true.

That night, on December the 22nd, a Thursday, they went on their tenth "meeting". It wasn't a date; it was like a relaxation time. She would lean into him and point to the constellations. Sometime she would want him to help her with beyblading, he didn't mind. Sometime he would help her with Japanese and she would tell him stories. Stories that she heard, and stories that she invented.

"Hello?" Forrest called as she answered her cell phone. Kai groaned and got up a little from his spot against the tree. His hand was on Forrest's unconsciously so he pulled it away, and he could feel her silky hair brush against his neck. She didn't notice. "Oh Jacqueline! Yes, sure. I'm free on Christmas, I'll call off my shift at the club. Alright, thanks, see you!"

"Hn?" he asked.

Forrest turned her head around and looked at him.

"Jacqueline is organizing a small get-together for the family on Christmas Eve, do you want to go?"

"Hn," he replied, which meant 'whatever, I'm free'.

She couldn't help but to flush as she leaned back against the tree, feeling him beside her. He'd been nice to her, or what could be called nice from Kai because Kai was never nice. She thought about him in different situations, in different relationships with him. Sometimes she found herself falling for the boy.

But she knew that he would be gone from her, he wouldn't be there to catch her. He was just a friend. She knew that so everyday, she told herself to not fall in love with this two-toned haired Russian boy, but it seemed almost impossible. With all the star gazing time, it grew impossible to just stare at his handsome face and know that he would slip away one day. She wanted to hang onto him forever and she wished that he would too. But she knew that he wouldn't, he wasn't that kind of person. And even though he was with her. She would go away one day. Japan wasn't her true home, it was just a sanctuary for a while.

But at least, they promised each other a friendship.

That's good. We'll always be friends, Forrest thought as she slowly got up and offered her hand to Kai. He refused it and stood up on his own.

"Kai, I need to improve my skills. I'm not asking for help or anything, I can deal it on my own. But if you want, I want to have a quick battle, you know."

Kai nodded silently and retrieved his blade from his pocket. He launched Dranzer immediately into the dish. Forrest did the same.

"You don't have to go easy on me, because in the tryouts, no one will be easy. I'll try my best," Forrest said as she gave a shy smile. "Go Starlet! Tidal wave!"

"Since when did you have water attacks?"

"Since Starlet and I worked hard day after day."

Starlet transformed into a dolphin, its new but weak form, and suddenly, a humongous wave appeared. It washed off Kai's beyblade to the side of dish but Dranzer was still strong. The phoenix's flame was less intense which meant that he was a bit weaker.

"Good try. But sometime water doesn't always exterminate the fire. Go Dranzer! Show them the power of fire!"

Starlet tried to dodge the attack but after dodging it several times, Dranzer still hit the dolphin. Forrest winced as she felt a burn on her arm but she wasn't going to let Kai know that she was hurt.

"Frozen tornado!"

A tornado appeared and it sucked in the icy water to hit its force against Dranzer. For a moment, Dranzer was immobilized and Kai felt his bitbeast lose energy. He felt a chilly air sweep pass him, but he snickered.

"Again, nice try. But not strong enough," Kai said, as Dranzer charged towards Starlet.

"No, no. Stop!"

Kai stared at Forrest and frowned. "You'll not be able to stop a battle in the tryouts."

"I know, I know but. I'm tired, Kai. Mkay? We're star gazing. Just let's chill for the rest of the night," Forrest sighed as she picked up her blade and Kai did the same. "I'm sorry that I disappointed you." She glanced at him with apologetic eyes and gave a sheepish smile.

"Don't be sorry," Kai said sincerely.

There was a moment of silence, where Forrest played with her messy hair unconsciously.

"It's late, we should go to our rooms," Forrest said as she gave him a friendly smile as she realized that she was pretty tired.

The moonlight was bright and she could see several outdoor lamps flicker. The backyard garden was home of many exotic plants that James took care of. They were beautiful and even more breathtaking at night because their scents filled the fresh air.

They walked quietly upstairs to their rooms. Forrest could feel herself exhausted as she dragged both of her legs one by one up the staircase, feeling drowsiness beginning to take over. She waved goodbye to her house-mate.

"Night."

"Hn, night."

Forrest, she told herself. Don't you dare fall for him. She had that thought in mind for a while already. It kept coming back to her when she spoke to Kai.

But I already did… she sighed. I know that I can't compare to Felicia but I can't but to think…

He'll be the death of you, Forrest Fan, her mind told her.

She agreed but still, she could not stop feeling this warm sensation inside of her. They've gone a long way since her first day of school when she collapsed on the dirty pile of leaves. She felt ridiculous at the thought of that. Kai's my friend now. I don't need to be scared of him... but I just wish that he was more, she thought as she sighed and fell into slumber.

Several minutes later, Theresa entered mutely in the room with a warm smile on her face. She grabbed a bag that was swung carelessly to the side by Forrest and stuffed it with her exchange clothes and bathing suit. She gazed at Forrest. She'd been like Forrest's 'mother' for a while. It wasn't an easy task because the young girl had a rather complicated personality.

"You poor motherless child," Theresa muttered as she closed the curtains and drew a soft blanket over Forrest's body.

On the oncoming Monday, everything changed.

Aurora decided that it was time to go back to China for a visit; both Ray and Mariah went with her. Forrest knew that Christmas would be different without them. As the Bladebreakers went to the airport to wish them a good trip, Forrest felt like she lost a small part of him. Ray was an important person in her life; he was the one who was nice to her at first, and he was why Forrest got to know the Bladebreakers. Ray and Max were the only ones who talked to her at first, and then slowly, who had imagined that she would land in a friendship with the cold Kai.

"Take care of him for me; he's a coward to admit that he needs friends. Goodbye Forrest!" Ray whispered to her as he gave her a friendly hug.

"You sound like we're never going to see each other again, Ray Kon. You're coming back in several weeks!" Forrest exclaimed as she patted his back.

"I know. But I'm going to miss the tryouts, aren't I? Good luck."

And with that, he went on to say goodbye to Kai and the others. Soon, Ray, Mariah and Aurora stepped into the gate with their passports in hands and not looking back. Forrest could see the sight of them disappear second by second.

Till next we meet, Forrest thought as she turned to Kai.

"Come on, we missed enough of school already," Forrest said as she looked at her watch. It was 12:42.

"I don't want to go to school," Tyson groaned. Forrest gave a slight giggle.

All of them got into a car and got home an hour later. There wasn't much of school left so they decided to skip the last two classes (Tyson jumped in joy while Forrest gave a slight groan). Forrest left everyone else in Kai's study room; she went to practice beyblading in peace.

Another step to success, she thought. It's not that I give up swimming… it's just that. All my family, my grandmother was a known entertainer, my mom was a singer and she married the rich brat—aka my dad, my aunt is a quite renowned painter and my cousin is a famous actress. What am I? No one. I'm just Forrest Fan, a girl who started living a new life. I'm a girl who cannot help but to fall in love with a guy out of her reach. I'm stronger than this… Am I? Beyblading will keep all this out of my mind. I'll be successful, but not by singing, painting or acting. I'll be successful by my own ways. And I believe that beyblading will lead me to some other roads of career. Besides, I live with the captain of the word champ team. I should take advantage of that. I want fame, and I hate to admit that.

Forrest felt a shiver run down her spine as she felt a snowflake touch the tip of her nose. It melted immediately and she looked up at the grey sky. It was snowing, the first snow of the winter. She beamed as she tucked some hair behind her ear and exhaled a breath to see a white smoke appearing in front of her because of the cold weather.

We're going to have a white Christmas. This means something good, she thought as she launched her blade.

"Starlet, let's do this together. Let's join the Bladebreakers and participate in this tournament. We won't conquer the world but we'll succeed."

Starlet transformed into a dolphin and the creature had a proud expression. Its semi-transparent grey shiny body looked slippery. It gave a shriek and suddenly the sky turned even darker. Snow started falling in great quantity and Forrest grinned wider.

"It's beautiful. Thank you, Starlet. You're a friend that every girl wishes to have."

Forrest stretched her arms out and turned her gaze to the sky. She felt several flakes land on her cheeks and she giggled, she opened the mouth and tried to catch some flakes but they always melted before they reached her tongue. She whirled around while feeling giddier than for a long time. She dancing in the snow.

This is way better than dancing in the rain, she thought.

After a few minutes, a thin layer of snow lay on the grass and Starlet transformed into a lion on its own.

"Come on. Melt it."

Starlet shot a blaze of fire from its mouth and the ice turned into water. Forrest grinned childishly and watched her bitbeast train itself. The creature switched back and forth from dolphin to lion, using ice and then fire attacks. After six attempts of transforming and attacking, Forrest felt drowsy but she didn't tell Starlet anything. If I can't take this, I will never be able to take an opponent, she thought as she ordered Starlet to continue.

What she did not know was that a pair of crimson eyes was staring at her full of sympathy, and worry.

Don't overwhelm yourself, Forrest Fan.

Christmas Eve came before Forrest had the time to do much shopping. She spent most of her free time between swimming and practicing for the tryouts. Her relay team was doing very good. They were either second or third in every race and with a little bit more training, and the second place was going to be theirs. Beyblading has been a little bit more difficult because it was tricky to train without challenging someone and there weren't always people around.

Performing at the TV kept her busy because winter vacation started and many people came to the club everyday and more performances were requested. Sometime, Forrest just wanted to throw up on the stage, some of the songs were so dull and some of the guests requested dancers who wore nothing but what seemed like a handkerchief and a thong. Luckily, Forrest didn't always have to cope with those because she was a main singer, and she couldn't dance. Sometime, she felt bad for Chloe because the Russian girl did a lot of dancing too, but in much less revealing clothes. Shayna focused more on singing than dancing so she escaped those horrible times too.

Forrest felt Kai nudge her and she looked up. She practically dozed off because she was so sleepy. They were in a nice and cozy small-sized house owned by Jacqueline Fan. The party was pretty extravagant and Forrest almost wanted to laugh at the desserts that they served. They were tiny soufflés, desserts, and little cups of champagne, basically everything was in small quantity because people were supposed to come on a full stomach, but Forrest didn't.

"Tyson would be busted if he was here," Forrest said as she looked at her companion.

Kai was feeling rather uncomfortable. He was around Forrest's family mainly because his family was consisted of either extremely wealthy people or the poor and unlucky ones. He could see it by their choice of clothing, and their actions. But he had to admit that all of them had a decent education in being polite.

He could easily distinguish her family members by their thick black hair and short heights. He had tried to smile during the night and it was difficult for him. For he, Kai Hiwatari, never smiled and he never wanted to fake-smile anyway.

Maybe that's where she got all her fake-smile abilities, she does them so well, he thought as he looked at Forrest's content face. He knew that she was bored and tired; anyone could sense it if they observed her well.

"Can we get out of here?" she whispered to him. He snickered. "This was a bad idea."

Before that he could give a reply, Forrest walked in a fast pace towards the center of the room, where Jacqueline was situated.

"Ah, Forrest!" Jacqueline said.

"Jacqueline, I am very sorry but you see, my plans changed. My boss wants me at the club today. I couldn't take the whole night off. And well, I'm not the person who stays at extravagant parties either. But I thank you for inviting me here," Forrest said, as politely as she could.

Jacqueline gave a frank smile and nodded. "You may go. Please come visit any time! Oh and here."

Forrest felt Jacqueline slip a small wrapped box to her. She blushed.

"Well, my present to you is under the tree," Forrest said. Jacqueline nodded and returned to her conversation with an elder man. Forrest retreated to Kai and they both made a quiet exit to the Fan's party.

"Phew, I thought that I could die in there. The strong scent of perfume and argh, I could have fainted," Forrest sighed as she got in a cab. "The TV club, sir, on the corner of Sakura Street and Kazainu."

She felt trapped again in the scent of his skin and the dark lights of the streets. She felt so content at that moment, the almost perfect guy sitting beside her. But she tried to lean in the seat and closed her eyes.

"Mh, Kai? We're here," Forrest said as she paid the driver and pushed the door open. Kai yawned and shrugged, then followed her into the club. He let her wander to the backdoor as he entered through the front door.

"Those whores are here again!" Forrest heard someone shout.

"Calm down, Shayna," Forrest said as she grinned and saw her friend with headphones over her ears.

"At least I'm not dancing today," Shayna said as she rolled her eyes. "You better change."

Forrest did change, and she grimaced at outfit. It was a tight dark green dress.

"Let me guess, Chloe has a pink dress, I have a green one and you have a blue one," Forrest said while changing.

"You are so clever," Shayna said sarcastically. Both of them stepped out in their outfit at the same time. Shayna gave a dramatic sigh. Their dresses fitted well and they stopped, to Forrest's horror, at the middle of their thigh.

"They could use a little bit more fabric. Plus the spotlight's going to be on us. Do you have a clue what we're singing?" Forrest rambled.

"We're all doing solos today so… well, Chloe's doing hers right now. We have a choice. We have two songs here, one from an opera and one sang by Jessica Simpson."

"Jessica Simpson? I hate her."

"It's called 'With You', I never heard either of them," Shayna said, shrugging.

"I know the Simpson one. So I guess that I'll go with that. Good luck with the other one. It's hard," Forrest said as she glanced over the sheet of music.

Shayna just shrugged again. "I'm only doing the first part 'cause there's no guys who sing here." And with that, she went on stage after looking at the lyrics one more time. Chloe came back to the dressing room quietly, the Russian girl was flushed and she sat down quietly beside Forrest.

Forrest herself was impressed at how Shayna could memorize the lyrics so fast, but all of them had too. They had headsets on stage that played the song that they were singing so that they could catch up with lyrics but it was still hard to sing everything perfectly. Forrest looked at her reflection in the mirror and sighed. She tried to stretch her dress a little so that it won't stick on her body but it wouldn't work. She sighed.

Almost my turn, she thought as she stepped behind the curtains, she heard the ending to Shayna's song.

Imagine me trying too hard to put you from my mind

Recall those days

Look back on all those times

Think of the things we'll never do

There will never be a day when I won't think of you.

Her voice was left echoing for several seconds. The piano released with the chorus and everyone clapped. On that day, the room was filled with more people because it was a holiday and Tala had invited a special performance group to the club. That was the reason why Forrest, Shayna and Chloe didn't have to sing the whole night. But they still had to help around with the bartenders and waiters/waitresses because the club was crowded.

Forrest stepped onto the stage and Shayna left it. The jet-blacked haired girl grinned at the blue-black haired one. Forrest cleared her throat.

"With you by Jessica Simpson," she said into the microphone. Several people clapped and as the applause faded, the band started playing. Forrest closed her eyes and tried to keep the heat from creeping up her cheeks.

The real me used to laugh all night
Lying in the grass, just talking 'bout love
But lately I've been jaded
Life got so complicated

Yeah, life does get complicated when you like Kai…, she thought as she did her little walk-around-the-stage-with-a-microphone-routine that she came up with several days ago. Since she couldn't dance, she thought that the least she could do was to walk around.

But with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground

Forrest gave a sigh and she hoped that the audience didn't hear it. She grimaced as her voice dropped a little, singing the last two words out of tune.

Sometimes it's hard to breathe
Just knowing you found me

Her lips curled into a genuine smile.

'Cause I start thinking about it
I almost forgot what it was like
To know when love feels right

Come and take me
Love you, save me

Now that I'm with you

Kai, Forrest thought. I can't...

Forrest gave a quick bow and started to exit the stage quietly. The crowd gave a polite applaud but Forrest turned her back on them. She wanted to cry because of him. He was with his girlfriend again, hugging each other. They looked so happy.

Maybe it's just meant to be like this, she thought, maybe I'm just supposed to be a hopeless romantic. I'll stay jealous all life.

"There's always second chances, right?" she asked herself out loud.

She saw Shayna look at her weirdly so she waved to the girl.

"Never mind, Shayna. Let's go help around," Forrest said, giving her friend a fake smile.

The green-eyed girl felt something burning on the back of her neck as she was helping waitresses. She grabbed a spare apron from behind the bar and tied it around her waist.

"Table 15!" the bartender yelled. Forrest gave a nod and carried the tray with several cups of cocktails in them. The cups were decorated with small paper-umbrellas and the ice cubes inside made many clinks when they touched each other. Forrest arrived at the table to see several guys seating there. She gave a fake smile and placed the cocktails on the table. Then she left for another batch of "delivery".

She felt the burning again and turned her head around. Her eyes met mahogany ones and she grinned sheepishly.

I just hope that you won't hurt me that much, Kai. She glanced at Felicia, who was snuggling comfortably against him. It was late after all. And she couldn't blame Felicia for sleeping on her boyfriend's chest. I can't blame her. I can only blame myself for being so stupid and selfish.

It was terribly dark; the time was around 2 AM. Nothing much could be seen or heard in the dead silent house. It was like a graveyard.

But I can't sleep, she thought as she rolled on her bed uncomfortably. She grabbed her alarmed clock and opened the bedside lamp to check the time. 2:18, it read. It's daytime there. I could…

No matter how much Forrest hated him, he was still her biological father and it was still his birthday. She shifted a little to reach for her cell phone carelessly. Under her alarm clock was a phone call card. Way cheaper this way, she thought as she dialed the number on the card. She used it to contact her friends in the U.S. even though she didn't speak to them often. Forrest leaned back to fall into the soft velvet sheets of her bed and groaned. She waited for the connection to reach practically the other side of the world, in New York City, where her father worked. I hate Wall Street, she thought.

"You've reached the private office of David—"

"I wish to speak to him immediately," Forrest groaned into the phone.

"I'm sorry miss but I believe that's impossible at the moment. I could leave a message for him… your name?"

"I'm his daughter, Miss Sullivan," Forrest rolled her eyes to herself as she recognized the voice of the speaker.

"Oh, sorry, Miss Forrest Fan. Your father is at his birthday lunch."

"More like midnight snack," Forrest grumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh no," she quick shot back, "time difference, you know. So what's the number?"

"No need, I'll transfer you right away. Give me a se—"

And the line was cut, followed by a long period of silence but Forrest knew not to hang up.

"Da—" came from the other line.

"Hey," she mumbled quickly, cutting him off, "happy birthday to you."

"Such an honor, chere daughter, (dear)" her father said after a short pause. Forrest could hear the slight sarcasm in his voice.

"Well, if that's all that you can reply back, I'll just hang up. I wish you a happy anniversary and… have a great rest of life with your wife," she said flatly as she gave a yawn.

"Forrest…," his voice sounded calm. "You can't hate me forever. You can blame me but you know that it's not my fault."

"I know. I don't blame you, dad," she mumbled, glancing out the window and into what seemed like an endless void. Mama's death isn't anyone's fault. "But it was your own choice to marry again so quickly after my mother died. That's not respectful."

"You can't judge her if you haven't met her, Forrest."

"I…"

"This world isn't black and white, Forrest. There are countless shades of grey," he continued.

"I have to go, David," she said coolly. "Once again, I wish a very happy birthday."

The line went dead and she gripped her hair in her hands, digging her fingernails into the skin of her forehead. She panted slightly.

Not black and white… shades of grey…why am I always wrong? She grunted.

Author's Notes: Once again, I took the time to cut lyrics out. Thoughts appreciated!