The Dentist: Chapter Eleven
"Now that's a chick for ya! Breasts, legs, not to mention other qualities…"
"This is making me hungry."
"Get a grip, man!"- Nail and Piccolo (both VERY drunk), The Comic.
-
Piccolo finished his last cavity filling for the day and sighed in relief. He could finally go home now. He quickly got Goku to clean up, and left after saying a hasty good-bye to his secretary. He rushed to his car and unlocked it, looking at his watch as he did so. He quickly got in and started the car, hoping that he didn't hit traffic on his way home.
Twenty minutes later, he reached his street and pulled down the quiet drive. When he reached his house, he practically jumped out of the car while it was moving and ran inside. Of course Nail was there, talking on the phone. He glanced at Piccolo and said 'yeah, just walked in.' He hung up afterwards and smiled at his brother.
"Hey, big man! Ready for-"
"Nail, I don't think I can do this!" Piccolo interrupted. "I mean, I almost had an attack at the office. I don't know if this was such a good idea."
"Oh, shut the hell UP already." Nail snapped, slapping his brother smartly on the cheek. "Be a man, Piccolo. Quit crying, for Christ's sake!"
"I'm not crying…' Piccolo muttered, holding his injured cheek. "Besides, how do we even know I'm ready for this?"
Nail sighed in frustration and pushed Piccolo down in the couch. "Listen. You are NEVER going to be perfectly ready. That's why you have to start now, before you just put it off and put it off. I know it's kind of scary for you, but it's JUST A WOMAN. She seems nice, and her teeth weren't sharpened into fangs or anything. The worst thing that could happen is that she doesn't go out with you anymore. But you know what? There are always more women out there. Sometimes it's just a fishing game."
"Rejection is pretty bad." Piccolo lamented, resting his cheek in his right hand. "But maybe you're right."
"I know I'm right." Nail said cockily, helping Piccolo out of his chair. "Now, go get ready!"
Piccolo nodded and took off his tie. He began unbuttoning his shirt as he went up to his room, thinking about the night before him as he did so. When he got to his room, he tossed his shirt into the hamper, adding his pants and boxers after a moment. He stepped inside the shower and turned on the water, wincing as it turned from icy cold to very hot. As he washed away the day he thought about what to wear. He knew the kid and Nail would make him wear one of the new suits they had gotten him, but he had no idea which one.
When he had finished, he stepped outside of the shower and grabbed a large towel. He wrapped it around his waist and went into his room, where he was about to pull on some clothes when he heard the doorbell ring. He growled in agitation.
"Nail, would you get that?" He called loudly, so that his brother would hear. After a few seconds the bell rang again. "NAIL, get the damn door, would ya?" He yelled, becoming annoyed. Still, the bell rang insesitantly, and Piccolo had had enough. He went downstairs and opened the door, thinking Nail must have locked himself out or something stupid. However, a very surprised looking Sarah stood in the doorway, her blue eyes round.
"Ehehehe… Did I come too early?" She asked, scratching the back of her head. "Maybe not, damn. Me likey the lack of clothes, Picster. You'll definitely shock the hell out of the woman."
"Get in." Piccolo said irritably, a blush staining his cheeks. "Do you know what happened to Nail?" He asked, looking past her. Nail's car was still there, from what he could tell. But he didn't have his glasses on…
"Uh, I'm sure he'll be back in a minute." She said nervously, grinning in a way that looked deceitful. Piccolo decided to let it fly for now, and went back up to his room. The kid began to follow him, but Piccolo put a hand out.
"Let me get dressed, willl you?" He asked in annoyance, making the kid pout.
"Aww, I liked the nude look." She groused, flopping onto the couch. She flipped on the TV, leaving Piccolo to his business. He quickly went to his room and pulled on some clothes; Just a white t-shirt and some gray shorts he used when he had been involved in a gym. He went back downstairs and found the kid laughing at the TV. He groaned as he saw that the show was South Park, and quickly turned the show off. Sarah grumbled to herself and sulkily looked at him.
"That stuff rots your mind." He said in a parental voice, frowning. He was about to ask her to tell him where his brother was when he heard the sound of an engine revving. He looked at Sarah, who helplessly held up her hands. She looked towards the door guiltily, though, giving herself in. Piccolo sighed and walked to the entrance of the house and opened the door slowly. He almost fainted when he saw what his brother was driving.
In his driveway sat the largest, newest, reddest Corvette available. The new paint shone in the dimming sunlight, making Piccolo wince.
"Nail, what the hell is this? What do you think you're doing?" Piccolo yelled at his twin, who jumped out of the beautiful car and grinned.
"I'm helping you out, man! You'd be surprised the things women will do in this baby." He lovingly patted the hood, only to have a pissed off dentist in his face afterwards.
"Where the HELL is my car?" He asked, his tone emitting rage and disbelief at the same time. Nail chuckled nervously and shrugged.
"Probably in someone's garage by now." He said quietly, his face softly beaming with a defiant air. "That was not the car for you, dear brother."
Piccolo yelled in frustration and grabbed his brother's shirt. "Nail, what the hell am I supposed to do with this damn thing! I'm a dentist! We don't DRIVE these kind of cars."
Nail grinned and shook his head. "You do now. Kid, what did you think about Piccolo's car before?" Sarah was already in the driver's seat, pretending to race other invisible drivers.
"It was nice and everything but… My grandmother Anne has one almost just like it." Nail sneered and clapped Piccolo on the shoulder.
"You see, Piccy? This honey is sure to get you lucky faster than your stupid town car. You're aiming for results, aren't you?"
"Nail, geez." Piccolo looked to the car, but Sarah wasn't listening. She had turned on the music, and techno blared out of the loud sound system. Piccolo groaned as he felt the earth around him vibrate slightly. Sarah bobbed her head along with the pulsing music, only to have Piccolo come and rip out the keys.
"Nail, you have to return this immediately." He said in his sternest tone. Nail smiled goofily, shaking his head.
"Can't, bro. No returns accepted. See, I thought you might be shy to the idea of something cool, so I took the liberty of adding a 'no return possible'. Besides…" He went to the door of the car and touched the seats. "Pure leather, man. No rug burns here."
"NAIL!"
"Ok, ok. But look here." He motioned to the gear shifter between the seats.
"It's a stick…" Piccolo said in awe, having missed the feeling of switching gears to speed up. Nail nodded and pushed him inside, the kid in tow.
-
"So, let me hear it again." Nail urged his brother, who was sipping a glass of water to calm his nerves.
"Good evening, Iris. You look beautiful tonight. I know we didn't plan this, but I was thinking after dinner we could- NAIL, KNOCK IT OFF!"
Nail had been trying to contain his laughter, unsuccessfully. He burst into hysterics, making Piccolo scowl heavily.
"I'm sorry, but you just look so funny. Don't be so rigid, though. For instance, would you ever go up to a woman and ask if they wanted to have sexual intercourse? Hell no! You make them want to, see? If I was Iris, I'd think you were scared of women, what with the cautious tone you're using, right kid?"
Sarah nodded feverently. "It's like this kid in my karate. We finally got a cute high school boy, but then he started talking. My God, I guess he hasn't gone through puberty yet. Talk about dog whistle." She realized she was ranting and started again. "Our point is that no matter how good you look, you have to convey that image through your speech for the goods to come across."
"Yes, that." Nail said, nodding slowly. "Besides, you can't pull off the 'how cute, he's shy' type of thing. You just don't look like that kind of guy, Piccy. Blame Pop for giving us his genes. You're over six and a half feet tall, man. You can't look like you're scared of anything."
"Yeah, what looks cute on some guys would look stupid with you. Besides, you have that late night radio announcer voice. You'll want to go that way." She checked her watch, head tilted. Nail's cell phone went off, so he quickly put a finger up and left the room, mouthing a quick apology. Sarah shrugged and leaned back in her seat. "It's seven thirty now, Pic. You'll leave in about-"
Piccolo's house phone rang, cutting the girl off mid-sentence. She picked it up without even thinking and answered with a friendly hello. Her face seemed to pale slightly as she said a faint yes and handed the phone to Piccolo. He took it, a feeling of dread coming into his stomach.
"Hello?"
"Piccolo, hi." Iris's voice still sounded pleasant, but with a sad undertone. Piccolo braced himself for the worst as he gripped the phone tighter.
"Iris, nice to hear from you. What's up?"
Iris's sweet tone faltered for a moment. "Piccolo, I really wanted to go with you tonight… But I can't. Something unexpected came up, and I'll have to ask if we can reschedule. I'm so sorry." She did seem guinuinely sad for this incident, but Piccolo supposed she just felt sorry for him.
"It's all right, Iris. I understand." He said, but he said it with some fair stiffness. "We'll just…try for another time, I guess."
Iris could obviously detect the feeling of rejection in Piccolo's tone. "Piccolo, please don't be upset. I can't really…explain it."
"It's ok. You don't have to." Piccolo said, his voice going down to a low rumble.
"Yes, I feel like I do. Listen, I trust you enough to know my address. Go down north fifth street, until you reach the coffee place, 'Roasting Beans' or whatever. Turn onto Elm from there, and go down that until you reach a cul-de-sac, Elm Place. Ok? I'm the two story blue house, number four. Can you remember that?" Piccolo had been jotting it down, just in case he forgot.
"Yeah, I have it." He said, raising a brow. "But I must admit, I'm a little confused."
"I know, but I can't find the words right now. If you'll come over, you'll understand." She said, her nice voice echoing in Piccolo's ears.
"I'll be there soon Iris. Thank you for calling."
"Good bye, Piccolo. Drive safe."
"I will, thanks." Piccolo softly hung up the phone, more than slightly confused.
"Well? What the hell happened?" Sarah and Nail demanded, almost simultaneously.
"She wants me to go over… to her place." He said slowly, then had Nail on him a second later.
"Lucky! Usually they wait until after the first date to invite you to their joint!"
"Nail, shut the hell up. Just tell me what to do."
"Well, get ready for one thing." Sarah butted in, frowning. "And hurry up, Piccolo. NEVER make the lady wait." Piccolo was already halfway upstairs, with his brother in tow.
-
Piccolo turned on his blinker as he got in the left turning lane. He then shifted down to first gear as he approached the red light, feeling like it was purposefully going slow to spite him. When it changed to a green arrow, he quickly sped onto Fifth street and went down until the coffee house came into sight. He turned rather sharply onto Elm and raced down the street until he saw the cul-de-sac previously described to him. He turned more carefully into the little place and slowed the Corvette until he came to a dead stop in front of number four.
The house looked like he knew it would. The walk leading up were very clean stones, made of some dark mineral. Trees that would regain their leaves in spring now sat laden with snow, giving a post card-like quality to the area. White Christmas lights dangled from the house's frame, casting some light onto the snow in front of it. The porch light was on, as were the lights on the inside of the house, Piccolo could make out a decorated tree and various other seasonal décor as he approached the front door. He saw his breath in the air as he exhaled slowly, reaching for the doorbell. He pushed the little white button firmly, and waited for response. Soon, the approach of footsteps reached his keen ears, and the door opened to reveal Iris, who was still dressed for a date, it appeared.
Her dress was a deep red, accenting her hair beautifully. The neck sloped gracefully downward, showing a modest amount of cleavage. The dress ended close to the floor, though a large slit along the side allowed her lengthy legs to be shown. Piccolo tried not to stare as she opened the door wider, letting him in. Piccolo stepped inside slowly, and carefully shut the door behind him, keeping out the draft.
"You look beautiful, Iris." He blurted out, before he realized what he was saying.
"Thank you, Piccolo. You look very handsome tonight, too." She smiled, a faint blush on her cheeks. "But I'm afraid you have to see why I can't come with you tonight." She took his hand and led him into the next room, making Piccolo's heart beat loudly. He was afraid she would hear the muscle pounding against his rib cage and took a steadying breath. Iris turned around and sighed, making Piccolo frown slightly. Whatever it was, she was rattled.
"Piccolo, it wasn't fair of me not to mention this. But whenever I tell any man about it, he runs like a bat out of hell. I know that doesn't make it right, but I hope you can forgive me." She left the room for a minute, leaving a very stricken Piccolo behind. He was worried now, and wondered wildly what could be so big. The answer came in a small figure.
The size and shape of a young boy, in fact.
Iris smiled faintly as she picked up the small child, holding him close to her. Chubby hands held tightly to her in return. The head of the boy was nothing like Iris's. His hair was a dark pitch of black, and unruly at every end. His mouth was so small, and persuded as if in anxiety. His eyes were round and clear, and the extreme blue of the iris made him look very intelligent. Piccolo couldn't make heads or tails of the situation, though, until Iris stepped towards him.
"Piccolo, this is Noah. He's… my son."