The Dentist: Chapter Twelve

"It's true- every work group has a sadistic nut. If yours doesn't, it's probably you." –Dilbert's It's not Funny if I have to Explain it.

"Your…son?" Piccolo took a sharp breath of air, since he had been holding it for the past few seconds. Iris nodded and smiled softly at the little boy, who grinned shyly at Piccolo and waved with a chubby hand.

"From my marriage. Past marriage." She said quietly, setting Noah down gently. He ran, none too gracefully, over to Piccolo and looked up at the tall man, grinning rather largely now.

"Gween!" He said, pointing at the dentist. He jumped up and down a few times, laughing innocently. "Mistah Gween!" He chanted again and again.

"How um, old is he?" Piccolo ventured, wincing as the little boy tugged on his pant leg.

"He'll be two and a half, soon." Iris replied, going into the kitchen. "Can I get you something to drink? Tea, water, coffee…"

Piccolo wanted to say a scotch but restrained himself. "I'm fine, thank you." He said politely, watching the little boy with amusement. The diminutive Noah had managed to do a somersault on the carpeted floor, grinning as he did so. He turned to Piccolo and held out his hands, obviously expecting the green man to do the same.

Piccolo cautiously held out his own large hands to Noah, who grabbed them and used the leverage to flip himself over, utilizing Piccolo's legs as a climbing tool. Piccolo blinked in surprise when the little boy landed on his feet, giggling like mad. Iris came back a moment later, carrying a small red sippy cup in one hand. She put her free hand on her hip and playfully frowned.

"Noah, Mister Damioh is not a jungle gym. Go play in the toy room for a little while, please." Noah accepted the cup and ran out of the room again, leaving Piccolo and Iris alone.

"He's really smart, isn't he?" Piccolo said, smiling slightly.

"He's very unique." Iris smiled back, sitting on the soft, dark blue couch. Piccolo followed suit and leaned back slightly, so he didn't look too up tight. He was scared, though. He didn't really know anything about kids, except his patients. And from what he could tell, they were all really hyper, loud little things that moved at the speed of light… Sometimes faster.

"Piccolo, I'm sorry again for not telling you earlier. You just seemed like a good person to get to know, and children usually drive people away."

"It's really not a problem." Piccolo waved off, smiling. Inside his mind was a whirl of ideas and scary propositions. He didn't like Iris any less. He was actually startled to find that the boy made her seem more… Real.

"No, I should have explained better. You see, my normal baby-sitter canceled on me maybe an hour ago. I called my sister, hoping she would be able to do it. Unfortunately, she's come down with a cold and can't leave her house." She smiled at Piccolo apologetically. "I just didn't have another option. I didn't want you to think that I didn't want to go with you, though. So, the truth came out."

"I know someone who would do it, if you still wanted to go out." Piccolo blurted out, instantly realizing his mistake. How would he say he knew Sarah? He couldn't tell her that his patient was helping him up after his hellish divorce, and that she was only sixteen. It would sound so pathetic. No, it had to be something else. Something that made sense, and that Iris would like.

Iris smiled, her eyes growing happy again. "Really? Who might that be?"

Piccolo knew that he was up a creek now, but he couldn't stop himself from saying, "My daughter."

Iris looked surprised for a minute, but was grinning again in a minute. "How nice, Piccolo! I guess we're even, then. How old is she?"

"She's sixteen." Piccolo said, trying to judge how shocked Iris looked.

"Wow, please don't take this rudely, but you hardly look old enough to have a sixteen year old."

"Good genes." Piccolo grinned, knowing full well he was digging his own grave. But he really wanted to know Iris. He felt drawn to her, for some reason. Although he knew that eventually the truth would come out, he couldn't stop himself. A kid was common ground. Iris would relate to him better. Then, when she knew him better, he would tell the truth, and hopefully she would forgive him.

"So your daughter was the nice girl on the phone, right? Are you sure she wouldn't mind?" Iris asked politely, while Piccolo mentally hyperventilated.

"No, I'm sure she wouldn't. Let me call her real quick." He smiled and pulled out his cell phone, quickly dialing his house. Sarah picked up after a couple of rings, sounding apprehensive.

"Piccolo, is everything ok? She didn't tie you to a chair or anything, right? Because it's always the nice ones…"

Piccolo laughed nervously and slowly walked to the edge of the room. Iris mouthed that she was going to check on Noah, leaving Piccolo alone.

"Kid, listen. I'm calling in a huge favor from you."

"Sure, Piccolo, anything."

"Iris…has a kid."

"HOLY SHIT!"

"Yeah. And well, she had to cancel because there is no babysitter."

"I'm on my way. By the way, what do I get for this? I mean, the incentive has to be good."

Piccolo sighed and spoke lowly. "I'll let you drive the Vette."

"Seriously? Hot damn, I'll be there quicker than a whore in France. But first, how do I get there?"

Piccolo proceeded in giving her the directions, and had to repeat them twice because the kid was so giddy about the car.

"Ok, I got it. Be there in a few!"

"Wait! There's something else-" But she had already hung up. Piccolo sighed, knowing that this would be interesting, to say the least.

"Is it ok with her?" Iris asked, coming back into the living room.

"Yeah, she'll be here shortly." Piccolo smiled, though he felt a little ill.

"That's so nice of her, and on such short notice." Iris said, her tone brimming with admiration.

"She's a good kid." Piccolo said, looking out the window. How the hell could he pull this off?

"What's her name?" Iris asked, startling Piccolo.

"Oh, it's Sarah." He said, trying to look cool.

"I've always liked that name. If Noah had been a girl, that probably would have been one of my first choices."

"Mama, my hungee." Noah declared, stepping in the room.

"I know baby. What would you like to eat?" Iris asked, standing up.

"Umm… S'getti!" He cheered, grinning at Piccolo. "Mama makes da bes s'getti eber!"

"Really?" Piccolo said, grinning at Iris.

"No." Iris said, rolling her eyes. "He thinks everything is spaghetti, sometimes." She went into the kitchen, followed by Piccolo and Noah.

"Honey, you just had spaghetti. How about something else?"

"No, s'getti good." Noah said firmly, smiling charismatically.

"Ok, buddy, it's your stomach." Iris said, opening her refrigerator door. She came out with two Tupperware bowls filled with noodles and sauce. She got a bowl out and piled some noodles in it. She stuck it in the microwave and pushed in a minute on the clock.

"How did you get Sarah to eat vegetables?" Iris asked, searching through her fridge again. "This boy insists that vegetables are nasty, vile things that only the oppressed eat."

"Since I'm a dentist, I showed her diagrams of what her teeth would look like if she just ate sugar." Piccolo joked, making Iris chuckle.

"Nice. Using the old intimidation factor, eh?" She got out some celery and a cucumber. "Noah, will you eat some celery if I put peanut butter on it?" She asked her son, who nodded happily.

"Yup! My want a cumber, too!" He said, pointing to the cucumber in Iris's hand.

"Good. Why don't you show Mr. Damioh your room while I make this?" Noah grinned and grabbed Piccolo's hand, trying to drag him out of the kitchen.

"My woom is weally cool, Mistah Gween! It has 'piderman in it an' evewyting!" Piccolo smiled at Iris as she started to chop the cucumber. This kid really wasn't all that bad. In fact, he was actually really cute. Piccolo had never been the type of man who admitted when he thought something was sweet, but…

He looked at the small hand in his and smiled again. The boy's fingers curled and uncurled as he attempted to drag Piccolo around the house. After being taken up to the second story, the little boy giggled and stopped.

"Put ya hand ober ya eyes, so's ya can't see!" Piccolo did so, smirking. The way the kid spoke was extremely funny.

Noah took his hand and led him into a room, laughing with excitement.

"Tay, open 'em." Piccolo removed his hand and blinked in surprise. Everywhere he looked was Spiderman this, Spiderman that. The bed was completely dedicated to the crawling superhero, along with posters decking the walls, and action figures along the dresser.

"I take it Spiderman is your favorite hero?" Piccolo asked, feeling a bit like Captain Obvious. Noah grinned and nodded,

"My tousin Bobby likes him, so's I like him!" He said proudly, using his thumb to indicate himself. Piccolo grinned, amazed at the imitation little children would go to be like someone they admired.

"An dis is my car conection." He gestured to a large, clear container full of Hotwheels and the like. "My favorite one is dis!" He held up a miniature black Corvette with flames along the sides. "See? Da fire makes it go real fast!" Piccolo nodded, chuckling slightly.

"I have one of these, now. It probably doesn't go as fast as yours, though, because it has no flames to help it." Noah's blue eyes grew round as he stared at Piccolo.

"YOU have one of dese?" He asked in disbelief. Piccolo nodded and grinned.

"My brother talked me into it."

"You gots a BRODER too?" He was practically beside himself with smiles. "I want a broder real bad! Den I could play with him all da time!" He looked at his little car, putting it back in its place. "What your broder like? Him nice?" He asked, obviously forgetting the car.

"He's pretty nice, I guess. He looks just like me, for the most part. He's my twin. Do you know what that is?" Piccolo asked, receiving a negative shake of the head in response. "That means that when we were born, our mom had to give birth to us at the same time. Since twins share an egg in the mom's stomach, we turned out the same. Make any sense?"

Noah grinned and nodded. "You real smart, mistah gween."

"Thanks. You're pretty bright too, kid."

The sound of a doorbell met with Piccolo's ears, causing him to tense.

'Showtime.'

Noah was already down the stairs, tripping over himself to open the door. "Who iiiis it?" He called, putting his hand on the doorknob.

"Here, let me get it." Piccolo grinned, opening the door. Sarah stood there, hugging herself to keep warm. "Kid, thanks for being here. There's something you got to know-"

"Piccolo, who is it?" Iris came in, smiling. "Oh, it's her, right? You're Sarah!"

"Pleased to meet you." The kid replied, walking past Piccolo. "I'm willing to help you out anytime, Ms. Taylor." She grinned as she shook the eye doctor's hand.

"Piccolo, you didn't say what a cute daughter you had!" Sarah stopped shaking Iris's hand and turned slowly to Piccolo.

"Yes, well! She um, gets all her looks form her mother. Except the blonde hair. That's from someone on my…side. Way back." Piccolo noticed that he was rambling, and that Sarah looked very miffed.

"Hey Pop, can I talk to you a minute?" She asked sweetly, though Piccolo could hear the deadly tone behind it.

"Sure. I'll be just a sec." Piccolo said to Iris, who nodded.

"I'm going to set Noah up, honey. He's just having some dinner now. Have you eaten?"

"Yes ma'am. Thank you." Sarah said distractedly, her eyes glued to Piccolo. Iris smiled and left, leaving the alleged father and daughter alone.

"What the FUCK were you thinking, you stupid ass! How long can you keep up this kind of farce! I'm not exactly a Goddamn dog or something, you know? She's going to find out! What in the HELL possessed you to say I'm your seed?"

"I panicked! I just had to make it work, and a kid seemed the best thing at the time…"

"Piccolo, how the hell do you think you can pull this off?"

"Very carefully?"

"Oh, and I suppose if things turn serious you'll tell her the truth."

"That's what I had in mind, yes."

"Piccolo, let me explain something to you. Women don't like being lied to. In fact, they HATE it. When she finds out, not only will she kill you, well… I suppose that's the worst she can do. But that's not my point! How could you do this? If you really like her, you should be honest and tell her the truth."

"I…I can't now! Please, just play along for a little while. I just can't do this by myself." Piccolo touched the girl's shoulder and looked her in the eyes. "Please?"

Sarah sighed and smacked his hand away. "We're talking a LONG ride in the Vette."

"Yes, thank you." Piccolo exhaled in relief.

"You still have to tell her, you know." Sarah said, frowning.

"I know, I will!" Piccolo assured her. Sarah still looked skeptical but shrugged it off.

"It's your funeral. Now, I'm going to go say hi to the kid. His name is what again?"

"Noah." Piccolo said, following her.

"That's SO cute, man. Did you see his darling little cheeks? And his sweet little hands? I love this kid already." The teenager looked pleased finally, and sent a silly smile to Piccolo.

'She sure doesn't stay mad long.' Piccolo thought, mentally raising a brow. They reached the dining area, where little Noah sat on a booster seat to reach the table. Iris stood up, beaming at the pair.

"I just explained to Noah that you were staying with him for a little while, honey. Thank you again, by the way."

"It's really no trouble. I'd probably just be home, brushing my teeth." She chuckled at her own joke. "Get it? He's a dentist, an- aw, never mind." Sarah waved it off. "No one understands genius."

Iris laughed out loud, making Sarah raise an eyebrow. "That was funny! You just had that expression…" She giggled to herself a moment before regaining her composure. "I'm sorry. Piccolo, are you ready?"

Piccolo nodded and smiled, waving goodbye to the two younger people in front of him. "See you guys later."

"Sarah, don't let him talk you into letting him stay up late. He needs to be in bed by nine. And make sure he goes to the bathroom before. Thank you!" Iris leaned over and kissed her little boy on the head. "I'll miss you, big guy! Be good for Sarah, hmm?"

"Tay mama!" Noah say, giving mother a small kiss on the cheek.

Piccolo felt like Iris was watching him, and although he felt terribly paranoid for this, judging his behavior. So he reached over and patted Sarah's head, to give a sign of some affection.

"Bye old man." Sarah said in a guttural whisper.

"See you, kiddo." Piccolo said, waving. He ignored the dirty look the girl sent him as he and Iris went to the door.

"Oh yeah, let me get my coat really fast." Iris said, running off to a closet by the entrance. She retrieved a long black coat, which she tied at the waist with a little sash. "It's cold out there tonight!"

"Yes, it is." Piccolo agreed, opening the door for her. "But the car's warm."

Iris's eyes widened substantially at the new car in front of her. "What happened to your Lincoln?" She asked, still quite shocked.

"Eheh heh… Long story. I'll tell you in a little while." He unlocked the doors and opened the passenger side for his date. Iris gingerly got inside and exhaled in a whistle.

"Pretty sharp, Piccolo. Noah would love this." She said, looking at the consol. "His favorite car is the Corvette with the-"

"Flames. He showed me his collection. And, just in case this comes up later, I promised him he could drive it when we got back, so-" Piccolo grinned at the look on Iris's face. "I'm only joking. He can have a ride anytime, though."

"That's nice of you, Piccolo." She said, buckling her seatbelt as Piccolo drove out of the driveway and onto the street.

"He's a good kid." Piccolo grinned, setting the stick to 1st gear. "You've raised him really well."

"Thanks. It hasn't always been easy, but…" Iris looked out her window, exhaling softly. "It's been worth it."

Piccolo felt a pang of guilt come in his stomach right about then, and he wanted to tell Iris the truth right then. However, he couldn't face the look she would no doubt give him if she knew what really was happening. So, he continued driving.

The restaurant wasn't too far from Iris's house, so there wasn't too much time to talk on the way there. Piccolo inquired about Iris's day, feeling that the deeper conversations should be saved for later. Iris seemed to share this sentiment and lightly discussed topics, keeping gently aloof of things that might be considered personal if gone into detail. Piccolo respected that quality, glad that she wasn't so fast that she would readily tell him whatever he wanted to know about her. Her quiet reserve drew him closer to her, he discovered. It was odd that in the short drive to the Luna Azure, Piccolo thought he got a feel for Iris's normal life. The thought made him smile as he turned into the valet parking lot. Iris's eyes shone as she turned to Piccolo, smiling broadly.

"Piccolo, it's been so long since I could actually enjoy an evening out without having to worry if Noah is all right or not. Sarah seemed really responsible."

"Ah, she has her moments." Piccolo chuckled, putting the car in park as a young, eager looking valet jogged up, looking pleased.

"Sir, may I take your car to a parking spot?" He asked wistfully, getting a giggle from Iris. Piccolo nodded and stepped out of the car, striding over to the passenger side of the Corvette. He opened the door for Iris and extended an arm politely. Iris looked happily at the kind gesture and took Piccolo's arm, grinning ear to ear.

"And still a gentleman." She remarked quietly as they walked up to the glass front doors, which were opened for them quickly. Their coats were taken at the entrance, and Piccolo took his number and slipped it into his jacket pocket without any thought. He was still surprised he didn't have a panic attack yet.

As they strode up to the front desk, a young woman with ash blonde hair greeted them. She picked up two menus and held them out to Piccolo, smiling.

"Mr. Damioh, nice to see you. Let me take you and your lovely guest to your seats. Follow me, please." Iris looked impressed, which was what Piccolo was going for. He had actually found that the Luna Azure was his favorite place to eat, and figured that the familiar atmosphere would help ease his tension.

"Wow, I never get the time top come to a place like this very often. Noah kind of makes sure of that." Iris whispered, holding on to Piccolo's arm still. She released him when she noticed, blushing slightly. "And your arm is probably numb by now." She muttered apologetically.

"Not at all." Piccolo grinned, helping Iris to her seat when they reached their table.

"You're almost too polite, Piccolo Damioh." Iris said in mock suspicion, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm making up for everyone else." Piccolo joked, and was shocked to feel how at ease he felt now.

"Well, I'm thankful for that." She said as a waiter approached, looking down his long nose at the eye doctor.

"Good evening. My name is Jonathan and I will be serving you tonight. May I suggest you begin with a light blush this evening?"

"How's that sound to you?" Piccolo inquired of Iris, who smiled with some uncertainty.

"I really don't drink very much, so I couldn't tell you." She said, a faint blush tainting her nose and cheeks.

"Well, if we could get a sample, then." Piccolo advised the man, whose brows were raised in skepticism.

"Certainly." He said shortly, leaving the two diners alone. Piccolo shook his head, chuckling.

"That guy doesn't like anybody, supposedly. Please don't mind him."

Iris grinned and nodded, looking at her menu. "Wow. I have absolutely no idea what to order. Umm… How's the pasta here?" She asked, looking over her menu at Piccolo.

"It's pretty good, actually. If you like seafood, I'd recommend the snow crab or shrimp scampi." He added, feeling a bit like a coinsurer.

"I'll take your advice then." She said, her eyes still glancing over the list of foods. "What are you getting?" She asked him, looking over the desserts.

"I'm going to have the lobster, I think." Piccolo pondered, setting down his menu.

"Didn't take you long." Iris smiled, receiving a nod in return.

"I haven't had it in a while, so I figured I might as well get it now." Piccolo responded, looking across the small table at Iris.

The waiter from earlier returned, a look that said he'd like to be on a beach somewhere clearly etched on his face. He had brought two crystal glasses and a bottle of wine in an ice cooler bucket. He set a glass in front of Iris and Piccolo, and then carefully unscrewed the cork off the bottle, letting it make a slight pop. He expertly poured a small portion for Iris, and then one for Piccolo. Iris took a cautious drink, careful to sip it slowly. Piccolo watched for her expression, and took a sip himself. He found the taste very suitable, and hoped Iris did as well. She nodded her head and smiled at Piccolo.

"Could we have this kind? I rather like its taste."

"Sounds good to me." Piccolo nodded at Jonathan, who shrugged and took their menus.

"Would you care for an appetizer as well?"

"Please. Is calamari ok with you?" Piccolo asked Iris, who grinned and nodded.

"I would love some."

"Very well. Are you ready to order, or shall I give you more time?" He asked, his voice sounding like one big sigh.

"I think we're ready." Piccolo said, gesturing towards the eye doctor.

"I'll have the shrimp scampi, please." Iris said, smiling kindly at the waiter.

"Would you like a soup or salad to accompany it?"

"Garden salad with vinaigrette dressing, please." She replied.

"And you, sir?" Jonathan turned to Piccolo, speaking in a bored tone.

"I'll have the lobster platter, with the same salad as her." He said, smiling at Iris.

"Very well. I'll have the calamari out soon. Please enjoy the evening."

He left again, making Piccolo sigh in relief. "Is it just me, or does that guy make one uptight?"

"It's not just you." Iris laughed, and then took a small sip of wine. "I really like this wine. Usually I don't really care for it, but this-" She closed her eyes briefly and hook her head. "I probably sound like an alcoholic."

"No you don't. I think my brother is a border line alcoholic, and you are nothing like him." Piccolo chuckled, making Iris smile.

"Does he get along well with Sarah?" She asked him, her eyes curiously bright. Piccolo coughed lightly, wanting to choke himself.

"Yeah, they're really good pals. Nothing like my ex-wife, really." He let the last part slip by accident, and immediately regretted it. Iris looked concerned, though.

"How long ago was the divorce, if you don't mind me asking?" Iris prodded gently, making Piccolo shift in his chair slightly.

"Five months, now. Give or take a few weeks." He added, taking a long sip from his wine. "Feels like a lifetime ago."

Iris looked sympathetic as she too took a small sip of wine. "I've been single for almost three years now."

Piccolo's eyes opened wide. "But, that would mean-"

"It does. My husband left when I was about three months with Noah." She brushed some fingers through her hair, looking quietly distraught. "He had commitment issues. I wanted kids; he didn't. So, when news of Noah first came to him, he panicked. He first response was to abort him or set up for an adoption. But I couldn't imagine doing that to someone so innocent. After all, he didn't choose to be conceived, did he? I told Will that I was keeping the child, and he just couldn't handle it, I guess. It's odd how people change when faced with a challenge. Some for the better, some…" Her gaze was set on the table, but Piccolo knew she wasn't looking at it. Rather, her mind was staring at the past and wondering why. Piccolo knew exactly how she felt right then, and kicked himself for opening the door to the discussion in the first place.

"Iris, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to upset you." Piccolo softly apologized, making Iris chuckle.

"No, Piccolo. I needed to talk with someone about it. My sister just doesn't…understand. You've been through it, though. It sucks, doesn't it?" She laughed a short chuckle that seemed to resonate irony.

"It sucks." Piccolo agreed, glad that at least Iris was smiling again.

"Well, would you mind telling me about how you do with Sarah? She seems to be really happy, and I want Noah to grow up feeling complete."

"Iris, there is something I really should-"

"Good evening again. Here is your calamari you ordered, and some water if you need it!" A cheery voice broke in, belonging to a younger lad than Jonathan, and a much chipper one at that.

"Uh, thank you. Where did our other-"

"Jonathan? He's off duty now. My name is Jim and I'll be taking over for him. Is everything going all right for you tonight?"

"Yes, everything is fine."

"I'll have your salads out in just a second. Hold on, I'll go get them!" He practically jogged off, leaving Piccolo speechless.

"Well, quite a contrast, eh?"

"Very." Iris agreed, taking a sip of her water. "He seems nice, though. Now, what were you about to tell me?"

Piccolo took a deep breath and braced himself. "Iris, I needed to tell you-"

"Salad up!" Jim said cheerfully, serving them each their own salads while grinning largely. "Your orders are being made right now, so you enjoy your appetizer and salads!"

Piccolo nearly growled at the annoyingly chipper young man. He'd almost rather have depressed Jonathan than joyful Jim. Now, he found that he had lost the courage to tell Iris the truth. She was still looking at him in inquiry, but he grinned it off.

"How about you tell me about Noah? He seems like a really sharp kid."

-

Sarah sighed and looked the little boy in the eye, pointing to the bathroom. "Noah, you're mom said to send you to the potty before bed."

"I no needs ta go." He said, smirking slightly.

"Well, just humor me and try." The teenager said in agitation, quite worn out. "Please, for auntie Sarah?"

Noah seemed to ponder this and finally gave in, marching into the bright bathroom with an air of defiance.

"Remember to brush your teeth, too! And wash really good." Noah answered with a cheerful 'ok.'

"Finally." Sarah breathed as she whipped out her phone and dialed Nail's number. He picked up after a couple of rings, his voice sounding rather groggy.

"Hello? Who…is this?" He asked, his words slightly slurring together.

"Nail, it's Sarah. Where are you?" She asked, annoyed that he was obviously drunk.

"Where are you?" He asked, laughing obnoxiously.

"Ugh, nevermind. Look, Iris has a kid."

"…Like a goat?"

"No, you idiot! Like a child!"

"Holy shit!" Nail exclaimed, apparently more awake now. "When-how-shit!"

"Exactly. That's not the worst part, though."

"How could that not be the worst part?" Nail asked, sounding incredulous.

"Piccolo said I'm HIS kid."

"That stupid son of a bitch. I'll kick his ass…as soon as I can stand, that is." Nail added, sounding angry. "What the hell was he thinking?"

"Beats me. Ask when he gets home."

"Oh, he really fucked up this time." Nail muttered, hanging up. Sarah nodded and hung up as well, feeling hopeless.

'What was he thinking?' She asked herself, shaking her head. The door opened and Noah came out, grinning.

"Tay, I'm ready for bed!" He said, grabbing onto Sarah's hand. He nodded without enthusiaism and took him to his room.

"I'm ready for a vacation, kid." She muttered as he hopped in bed, grabbing a bear as he did so.