Title: That Game
Author: Jordan (angelace)
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. It all belongs to JK, Warner Bros, Bloomsbury, etc.
Chapter 1: When You 'But' Me
Draco bit his tongue. He ignored the insult Pansy had hurled in his direction and smiled blandly at her, hoping she'd get the hint and move on. But Pansy wasn't about moving on - for instance, their "job" had all originated from a grudge held against a seventh year because he had rejected her for the Yule Ball three years previously. So, here she stood, tapping her foot impatiently waiting for a response.
"Okay, Pansy…" He cleared his throat. "You're a dog-faced bitch and if you ever say that again, I'll…"
"You'll what?" said Pansy excitedly.
"Call you a dog-faced bitch again." He sighed. "Shouldn't we be moving on?"
Pansy nodded. "Yes, yes, Draco, don't get your knickers in a twist. I was just finalising your next mission."
Draco raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh?"
Pansy smiled. "Yes, you'll like this one, Draco, I'm sure you will. I just need to find something… hold on…"
A few moments later she produced a moving photograph of a devastatingly pretty girl, twirling a strand of her dark hair round and round her finger. Every now and then she would look up at the clock and sigh and then smile to herself as if she were privy to the world's greatest joke. Draco was definitely intrigued.
"Her name's Abigail Morgan, or Abby, as she's more commonly known. She's a sixth-year but I'm sure that won't be a problem. She's currently involved with Terry Boot and rumour has it that she's not putting out and Terry's not happy."
"Understandable," Draco nodded.
"Yes, well, I'm sure it's only a matter of time before tensions boil over. Terry's really never been the patient type." Pansy suddenly grew misty-eyed. "But, anyway, when it happens I want you there, okay? Sweet talk her something shocking! Make her want you, all right? I want her questioning her beliefs! I want her considering leaving safe and sensible Terry for someone like you! I want you inside her head day and night, do you understand?"
Draco shook his head. "No."
Pansy raised her wand, threateningly. "I will hurt you."
Draco sighed dramatically, but smirked when he was sure Pansy's eyes roamed elsewhere. "Yes, Pansy, I understand."
"Excellent."
"But Pans -"
"I really hate it when you 'but' me."
Draco giggled.
Pansy rolled her eyes. "Yes, Draco?"
"Okay, you say 'when it happens', well, what if we downsize that to 'if it all happens'? I mean, we can't be entirely sure that Terry will lose his cool. What if he's actually in love with the girl? Shouldn't that restrain him, er, slightly?"
For perhaps the millionth time that evening Pansy sighed. "Do you remember what I said to you the first time I informed you of my 'extra-curricular activities'?"
In response, Draco sighed. Not this speech again.
But, as mentioned before, Pansy did not move on. She would stand there all bloody night if she had to waiting for a response.
"Yes, Pansy, I remember."
"And what did I say?"
"You said 'first and foremost, Draco, you will never fuck me and will never try to fuck me'."
Pansy nodded. "Go on."
"That's the only thing I remember," said Draco.
"What!"
"Well, I didn't expect to be pop-quizzed on it later on!"
"Fine!" settled Pansy. "I said 'you must remember to always trust me, because as smart as you think you are I've being done this for a while now and I know what I'm doing.' Any guesses what came next?"
Draco shrugged.
"Never question me," she burst out, poking him hard in the chest with every word.
"Ow!" cried Draco.
"Sunk in yet?"
"Yes," said Draco quietly. "God, you are violent."
"I'm just frustrated, Draco!" Pansy cried. "I've an idea what's going on, right? Don't you think I would've planned this to perfection?"
"Yeah…"
"What?"
"Well, it seems to me that you have a lot of time on your hands."
"Oh, does it?"
"Yeah, Pans, maybe you should get a boyfriend or something."
"I don't need a boyfriend," said Pansy. "I get enough action on the side, thank you very much."
"Ew."
Pansy gritted her teeth. "Moving on… I need to go over the plan with you?"
"I'm listening."
"Are you?"
"I said I am!"
"Well, that doesn't mean you are…"
Draco looped an arm round her shoulder. "Look at us, quarrelling like an old married couple!"
Pansy shook him off her. "I would never marry you, Draco, never ever!"
"Ah… never say never."
"You are especially annoying tonight."
Draco clapped his hands together. "I'm in a good mood!"
"Why?"
"Because, apparently, in a few weeks' time I will boning that!" He jabbed his finger at Abby's photograph. "Does it upset you that you continue to hand me women continuously on silver platters?"
"No, it doesn't upset me… disturbs me, yes. Upsets? No way. Anyway, it's not all finalised yet, if you'd just listen!"
"I will… I will… and I am, just a quick question - how are we with that Lavender thing? Are you still 'deliberating'?"
"No," said Pansy quietly.
"Why not? I thought you were on the verge of something beautiful!"
Pansy shook her head. "No, I just said that to appease you but I never got started, to be honest with you."
Draco groaned. "Pans, I ask you to do one thing! One thing and you go and -"
"What? I go and what? I ask you to do a lot of things Draco but do you listen?"
"Yes…eventually."
"Okay, that Lavender thing? We will work on it, all right, but after this? I can just feel something with this one. It's gonna be wonderful. There'll be tears, there'll be tantrums, there'll be drama… oh, God, it'll be beautiful! And then when the after-glow has worn off and I can think clearly once again, I will sort out your girlfriend dramas, all right?"
"Ex-girlfriend," Draco corrected.
"Yes, yes, whatever." Pansy waved her hand dismissively. "Now, onto to the plan…"
"I am listening!" said Draco.
"I'd expect that was a given but anyway… all right, I will take care of Terry. Let's just say have a little history and I know if a man is without sex and a woman of the past offers it up to him no-strings he'll be absolutely gagging for it… that'll get him out of the way, right?"
"Are you a woman, though?" asked Draco.
Pansy stared at him. "Excuse me?"
"Well, yeah, obviously you're a girl but are you a woman yet? Because, as I recall, you are only seventeen."
"So, I'll only be a woman when…"
"You turn eighteen," supplied Draco.
"But I've stopped growing," said Pansy. "Therefore, I am a woman."
Draco looked away, not keen for an argument. "If you say so."
"Were you even listening to me before?" asked Pansy.
"Sure, you'll corner Boot and sex him up…but how will young Abby discover that her wondrous boyfriend is messing round with another woman?"
Pansy ignored his last comment. "That's taken care of - you accidentally on purpose (because I'll tell you the time and place) stumble in on Terry and I mid-way and snap a few pictures to show to his beloved. Then you'll have stone cold proof."
"Damn, that's rough. I'm not sure she could handle it… however, a woman like yourself -"
"Oh, shut up! Let me continue?"
"Yes, fine."
"I will take my time with Terry, flirting here and there, dropping hints. You, in the meantime, will seek out Abby and get to know her. Get her to trust you, all right? That way when you show the photos she won't dare question it and you'll be the first one she turns to for a shoulder to cry on…"
Draco listened, intently. Finally, he nodded. "Pansy Parkinson, you are a fucking genius."
"I know," she said modestly.
"And there's a guarantee I'll get laid?"
"Sure, when you say it like that she'll be all over you."
"Ha ha," he said sarcastically. "I meant…"
"I know what you meant! Look, if you play your cards right, maybe…"
"That's all your giving me? A maybe?"
"Hey, Draco, I'm doing all the work here! All you have to turn is wipe away the tears and say nice things and then perhaps you can get in her pants. I'm not saying it's a certainty."
"Well, it should be," said Draco, "it's not fair."
"Life's not fair…"
"That's so clichéd. You're outdated, Pansy."
"Mmm."
"So - in or out?"
Draco thought long and hard.
"I'm definitely in! Always."
A/N: Review!