Here's a holiday treat for you all. I've been in Germany these past few months (I'm still here), and I haven't been able to update like I should. However, something struck me last night. The Dentist has been up for about a year now, on the 18th. Well... This story means a lot to me. I've always seen potential in it, and well... I've just grown REAL partial to this fic. It has been the most popular one so far, reassuring me. I remember the fateful day I thought of this story... I myself had to visit my friendly dentist... When this story formed itself in my mind. What else could I do while I got a cavity filled? Anyway, here it is-
The Dentist, One Year Anniversary.
-
"Piccolo, you're spilling testosterone on my shirt. Step back a couple of steps, killer."
Piccolo, still seething, forced himself to sit down. "What do you mean, you called Nail? You know how he's going to act..."
"It can't be any worse than how you YOURSELF acted, genius. A kid, really... She's going to figure this one out quick, Piccolo. She's smart, unlike your stupid ass."
Piccolo didn't even reply to that comment; he knew that his diminutive friend was right.
Sarah glared at him before sighing and giving in to curiosity. "So, how did it go before you woke me up?"
Piccolo smiled a little and leaned back. "Well, the evening itself went really well. Everything went off without a hitch... She did like the theatre ... Thanks for the tip." Sarah briefly acknowledged the compliment with a nod of the head. Piccolo continued, smiling a little bigger. "The suspense genre was also a good idea. She was holding my arm the whole night, she was so scared... Well, not scared, just tense... She has a really strong grip for a woman..." Piccolo realized he was rambling and cleared his throat. "Of course, I think I did good myself... Except for that!" He growled when Sarah rolled her eyes. "You know what I meant."
"I know, Spock. I'm sorry, go on."
"Well, anyway, nothing ELSE went wrong... We came home, woke you up... By the way, did you HAVE to be reading Hannibal?"
"Hannibal shows extreme ass-kickery in the book department. You should read it."
"Yeah, well, after you gave me a damn black eye-"
"YOU woke me up by poking me. It was a reflex gesture. I said I was sorry, gees."
"Iris said that we should do something again some time." Piccolo finished, watching Sarah's twitching eye.
"She said WHAT? Ok, did she say 'some time' like 'SOME time', or like 'NEVER time?' "
"I would assume the first." Piccolo mumbled, rolling his eyes.
"You would. Well, then, we have to start planning how you are going to beg for forgive-"
"What?" Piccolo loosened his tie and tossed it aside. "What do you mean by that, exactly?"
"Piccolo, you CAN'T keep this up. If she finds out on her own, she will kill first, ask later. Women don't like to be lied to, you dipshit. And if you think I'm going to always be around-"
"I'm not stupid, kid! I KNOW I have to tell her. But I can't now, don't you see? If I tell her now, before she knows me, she's going to be gone forever!"
"Piccolo, just explain to her WHY you did it. You were scared, you panicked, you made a bad choice. But tell her the TRUTH."
Piccolo was about to reply when the front door banged open. A few seconds later Nail staggered in, looking like hell. His top shirt button was missing, as was most of the white from his eyes. He looked like he had run all the way from the bar.
He pointed at his brother, looking a bit crazy. "You!" Was all her said before running to the bathroom. The sounds of retching came a moment later, followed by the flush of the toilet. Sarah and Piccolo exchanged brief glances before Nail slumped back in, looking like he wanted to die.
"Never again..." He muttered, lying down on the couch. "Kid, be a sweetheart and bring me a glass of water..." He put his hands over his eyes and muttered as an afterthought- "And two Alka-Seltzer tablets. Please." Sarah shrugged and walked into the kitchen, leaving the brothers alone.
"I thought you gave up drinking like that." Piccolo finally said, making Nail wince.
"So did I. But when faced with Tequila shots... I can't resist. But I don't have the problem. This will all be gone," he gestured to his drunken body, "-tomorrow afternoon. You, on the other hand, have one big mess to sort out... It won't go away by itself." His eyes bulged a moment before he ran to the bathroom again. Piccolo sighed and let his head rest in his hands. He knew, of course, that he would have to tell Iris. But maybe things would be okay for a little while.
Sarah came back a few moments later, carrying a small packet and a glass of water. She looked around briefly before setting the contents on the coffee table and heading towards the bathroom. She returned soon after, supporting Nail's large body with her own little frame. She helped him on the couch, and gave him the requested items.
'"Thanks...kid. You should head home now, it's late." He shook two white tablets out of the packet into the glass, and let it fizz for a while. "Don't let your mom worry about you."
"Ha, there's a good one... She doesn't get worried, she gets pissed. And besides, I'm 'spending the night' at my friend's house. So can I do anything else to help? I got time." The girl said, flopping down on the couch next to Piccolo.
"Except for beating the shit out of my brother, everything is covered." Nail murmured, letting his eyes close briefly. "Thanks."
Sarah nodded and turned to Piccolo, poking him in the stomach. "And what about you, Herr Zahnartz? Are you going to be okay?"
Piccolo sighed and shrugged, standing up. "I guess so. When do you want it, by the way?" Sarah looked at him in puzzlement, scratching her head.
"Want what?"
"You SAID you wanted to drive the Corv-" Piccolo's last word was cut off as Sarah squeezed his middle in a crushing hug. Well, for her size it was crushing. Piccolo just stood there awkwardly, not sure how to react. Finally he patted the girl's head, hoping she would release his ribs from their current imprisonment.
"Thanks, Piccolo! Man, you're the best! Can we do it tomorrow? I gotta go to church on Sunday, and tomorrow afternoon is confession. Plus, Sunday evening is Christmas shopping! I'm going to get you something great!" She hopped up and down in a fit of hyperness. "You gotta get me and Nail stuff too, so don't forget, ok? Oh, now I'm too excited to sleep! I can't wait to tell Candace, heh. She'll be so jealous...oh wait. What ARE you doing for Christmas?" She stopped her little dance and seriously looked at Piccolo. "Just you and Nail this year?"
"It's looking that way." Piccolo muttered, trying to sound nonchalant. Sarah raised an eyebrow quizzically. She put her hands on her hips and took on an authoritative tone.
"Well, my family always has a party at my sister's house on Christmas eve... We can invite anyone. Would you like to come?"
Several pale-looking people flashed through Piccolo's mind, all holding rosaries in one hand and a beer in the other. All had blue eyes and blonde hair... Like Hitler's best dream or something.
"Kid, I'm not sure if-"
"Oh, PLEASE? I already told my mom you were gonna come."
"What! What are you thinking-"
Sarah put up a hand, admiring her nails. "Please, Piccolo. She thinks it's sad how you are divorced without children or family to celebrate with."
"What th' hell am I? The fuckin' dog or something?" Nail growled beneath closed eyes.
"You shut up. I mean a big family, that's all." Sarah spat, turning back to Piccolo. "I told her a little about you and how we kinda are friends now. She doesn't mind... She's used to me having weird pals. So please come? I know she already plans to make you a cake..."
"You always make your mother sound so evil-"
"Only to me, sometimes. Otherwise, she's freakin' Mother Theresa. So... will you?" Sarah looked hopefully into Piccolo's face, whimpering pitifully. "I'll be so sad if you don't..." She whined softly, making Piccolo growl in frustration.
"Fine, I'll go, okay! Just... Promise me your family... Well, they all aren't like, um..."
"Like me?"
"Yes." Sarah frowned and looked at the ground.
"You don't like me at all, Piccolo?" She sounded a little hurt, and Piccolo thought he saw a small tear when her eyes found his again.
"Kid, you know that's not true. It's just that ONE of you is enough. That's all." He patted her head like he would a small puppy. The words seemed to reassure Sarah, making her grin again.
"Ok, I'll give you the information later. I'll be back tomorrow, ok? Get some rest, and be good!" She skipped off, giving Nail a kind slap on the head before getting out of the door. When the rev of an engine started, Piccolo sighed and sat in his chair again.
"Nail, are you still awake?" Piccolo whispered, poking his brother in the arm.
"No, I'm talking in my sleep. What do you want?"
Piccolo sighed and shrugged. "Do you think I can work this out?" Nail finally opened his blood-shot eyes and looked at his brother.
"You want me to say yes." He yawned and scratched his ear. "But we what we want to hear, and what the truth is... Well, sometimes they are different things, Pic." He stood up on wobbly legs and drug himself upstairs, leaving Piccolo all by himself.
"Nail-" Piccolo began to call, but stopped when he heard the bedroom door shut. He sighed to himself and shook his head. 'At least I finally found a catalyst.' Was his last thought before he, too, went upstairs and to bed.
-
"Careful, you're going to strip the gears... Don't shift until you have the clutch-" the car made an annoying high pitched screech before it stopped again. Sarah grinned at Piccolo, chuckling nervously.
"I almost had it that time, Piccolo! Did you see it! Huh? We're almost to the end of the street!"
Piccolo looked out of his window and sighed. They were about three yards from his house. Sarah followed his gaze and shrugged, still grinning. "Well, THIS time I'm getting it." Piccolo said a silent prayer as Sarah re-started the engine, looking determined.
"Okay, now SLOWLY ease off the brake and push down the acceleration." Piccolo instructed, with Sarah nodding vigorously. "Good, now, ease on down the street...That's good, real good. Now, you hear the engine turning? Switch gears." Sarah took a deep breath and pushed the clutch in, shifting a moment later into second gear. Her face was exuberant when the car didn't stall and sputter.
"I did it, I did it!" She yelled, coasting down the street. "Where to now?"
Piccolo pointed to the right. "Turn here. There is a route to the country this way, so you can go a little fast-"
"WOOOOOHOOO!" Sarah yelled, switching into third gear and racing down to the end of the street. Piccolo grabbed his heart and held onto the edges of his seat.
"Not NOW, kid!" This time he took a deep breath and prayed out loud. "God, I know I don't deserve any favors, but if you could possibly let me live through this-"
"C'mon, Piccolo! I'm not that bad." Sarah grinned, turning sharply at the corner.
"What are you doing?" Piccolo said, feeling like his heart was about to burst through his chest. "You can't take corners like that, you could wreck!"
"It was a two-way... It would've been their fault." She grinned and shifted to fourth gear. "Just try and relax, Piccolo. Everything will be fine." Piccolo wasn't reassured when the kid giggled insanely and pressed the gas harder.
-
The dentist slid into the hot water gingerly, hissing quietly as the liquid touched his skin. He settled himself in his bath and sighed, feeling relief in his muscles after a few still moments. The kid had kept him tensed up the entire trip, and now his back felt ready to snap, like an instrument's string that had been pulled too tight. He took a small breath and submerged his head under the steamy water, coming up a few moments later.
His head felt clearer now, and he felt like he could think.
'What have I gotten myself into...' He wondered, resting his elbows and forearms on the edge of the tub. 'The kid is right... I can't keep this up. Maybe I can stop this thing before it gets out of control completely.' He sighed and let his head drop back, staring at the wall behind him. 'But how?' Piccolo growled and rested his weight on his forearms again. 'How can I explain this without sounding like a complete ass? 'Hey, Iris, I acted like a scared little bitch the other night, and said I had a kid. You can still take me seriously, right?' Ha, THAT will win her over. Maybe something a little more subtle...?'
The green man closed his eyes and sunk beneath the water. There he remained for a few moments, letting his mind relax a bit. He needed to sort out this mess, but not necessarily all at once... When he emerged from his state of non-thought, he gasped, looking at his brother.
Nail was sitting on the counter, holding a towel in front of him. "Hurry up and get dried, brother. We got places to go, things to buy." Piccolo glared at his brother and snatched the towel, wrapping it around himself.
"MUST you do that? It's called privacy..." Piccolo growled, walking to the door.
"Oh God help us. It's not like you're in prison with twenty-five other men. Get over it." Nail said dismissively. "Besides, it's three o'clock. We'll want to look around before the five o'clock rush starts."
"What do you mea-"
"Christmas shopping, Piccolo! Come on, we can talk about your dilemma there."
-
"What about this?" Nail said, holding up an X-box container. "The kid would love one of these things, right?"
"Nail, you idiot. You can't give her that."
Nail blinked and looked sad for a moment. "Aww, why not?"
Piccolo frowned and shrugged. "It's just weird when you give things like that to people you are related-" He stopped at Nail's 'nigger please' expression. "You KNOW what I mean."
"Yeah, yeah... So, what are you gonna get Iris?" Nail asked, switching subjects. Piccolo winced, hoping the subject wouldn't come up.
"I honestly...have no idea." He muttered, shoving his hands inside his pockets. Nail now was wearing the all-knowing, brotherly look that Piccolo hated so much.
"Aww, how sweet. Why not stay simple? Just buy like expensive perfume and roses or something... I dunno, it's always been ok when I've done it."
"Yeah... Hey, yeah! That sounds good. Not too familiar, like 'let's have kids', but nice enough to say, 'I was thinking about you.'" Piccolo looked pleased with himself and nodded. Nail just rolled his eyes and shrugged.
"Hey, whatever man. Look, I'm going to look for something for the kid again. You coming?"
'But what do I get her?' He thought to himself, tapping his foot. He noticed what he was doing and grinned largely. "That's it! It's perfect!" Piccolo said out loud, receiving a few blank stares. "Um...Sorry, just got in the, er... Christmas spirit." He apologized quietly. He was surprised to see many approving looks; blushing, he headed off to the shoe department, Nail in tow.