Happy New Year! Frohes neues Jahr! I've already broken my resolution not to drink so much... So on with the chapter! Oh, and I don't own Bud Light, Samuel Adams, or Coors... Or Piccolo.
Special thanks to Daffodil, JS, Dbz Chicka, and my German friend... Danke schön!
-
"Now, you put your finger there... No, idiot, you're doing it wrong..." Nail threw the box at his brother, exasperated. "Damn it, haven't you ever wrapped a present before? You retard, you can't even get the bow on." Christmas was a mere three days away, and Piccolo was having trouble with wrapping presents after two and a half hours.
Piccolo growled and grabbed the box, shoving it at his brother. "Then YOU do it, Lord! I usually just had the stores wrap it... Or I bought a gift bag... Come on, it's SIMPLER that way!"
Nail rolled his eyes and mumbled something before nimbly wrapping the boy around the rectangular box. "Such a retardacon..."
Piccolo lifted a brow and shook his head in disbelief. "What did you call me?"
"Honestly, Piccolo... Haven't you ever seen Robot Chicken?" Nail tossed the finished present on the couch, and grabbed his present for the kid. "That show is funny as hell. Even you would like it."
"I doubt it," Piccolo said dryly, standing up. Nail scoffed and nodded.
"Me too. That would mean you had a sense of humor."
Piccolo's eye twitched for what must have been the third time in the past hour. He didn't reply, though. He merely walked out of the room, shaking his head.
Nail grinned, remembering how much this was like the good ol' days, back when they were kids... Just them, most of the time. Christmas was a nice time of year, simply because they got to spend time together, without attempting to murder each other. Nail sighed and leaned back on his elbows. He wished they had more relatives, sometimes. You had more people to talk to, so you didn't get overly-frustrated with one single person. But still, it was handy in times of weddings or funerals... not as many people to congratulate/ consol... Or consol/ congratulate, depending on the person. He himself had nearly been married several times. Each one had backfired in it's own special way.
However, he wasn't getting younger. The kid made him see that, fortunately. It kind of brought things into perspective for him. Nail realized that he wouldn't always be like he was now. Someday, he would want a family of his own. A wife of his own. Someone to always care for, no matter what. But for now, he was content to merely help his brother, no matter HOW stupid he could be.
-
"Did you get me something?" Sarah asked, jumping up and down. Today Sarah had begged Piccolo to go shopping for Nail with her, since he 'knew him best'. Piccolo smiled at the hyper kid next to him and nodded slowly.
"Of course." He continued walking steadily, even though Sarah was practically jumping to his height, she was so excited.
"Pic, aren't ya gonna ask me if I got YOU something?" She asked, grinning mischievously. Piccolo shook his head negatively.
"Nope." He said, his tone remaining the same.
Sarah stopped her hopping and looked at Piccolo. "But...but EVERYONE wants something for Christmas... Aren't you a little curious?"
Piccolo grinned and shook his head. "Nope. Nail already told me what you got me."
Sarah's mouth hung open and then closed. "That BASTARD! He said he wouldn't say a word, he PROMISED! Damn it, now it won't be good when you open it."
Piccolo chuckled and rested a hand on the close-to-tears teenager.
"I made a joke... I have no idea what you got me." He said quietly, making Sarah slowly turn towards him.
"Piccolo... I'm so PROUD of you!" She said, hugging Piccolo's waist. "THAT'S the Christmas spirit... Laughter and sarcasm... You are all grown up! I can't believe it!" She jumped up and down again. "Oh, you'll LOVE my gift!" Piccolo snorted and shook his head.
"Just as long as it's not tickets to 'The Pope on Ice' or something." Sarah stopped jumping around again.
"Why not? That would be the shit. Yeah, I mean THINK about it... The ending could be John Paul II shooting Britney Spears in the face, tying her to the back of the Pope-mobile, and doing donuts. It would be AWESOME! Then he could tie a Roman Candle to the hood of a KKK member and there would be a fire works display." She stopped her daydream, grinning sheepishly at Piccolo. "But uh, that's not what I got you."
Piccolo nodded in fear and muttered, "Thank God."
-
When Piccolo and Sarah returned from shopping, there was a car waiting in the driveway. Sarah had never seen it before, but Piccolo knew it all too well.
"Piccolo, who's-"
"I think you should go home." Piccolo said quietly, stopping the car. "You can come by later, but for now... run on home." His tone was quiet and not playful, not mad, just blank. Sarah nodded silently and got out of the car, walking to her own. She got in and was down the street in a flash, leaving Piccolo alone in the car. He took a deep breath and got out, bracing himself. It had been a while since he had seen her... He hoped she hadn't changed too much. But divorces did strange things to people.
Piccolo walked up his drive to his front door, and listened to nothing. Every sound was dampered by the snow on the ground. He knew he couldn't just stand outside like a coward all day, and opened the door. The sound of voices reached his ears the instant he walked in. The fact that they sounded friendly enough reassured Piccolo, slightly. Still, he was a bit nervous.
He walked past the entry hall into the living room, where the sight of Nail and an older woman met his eyes.
She was a long, thin woman of about fifty-five, with slightly-graying black hair and milky skin. Her eyes looked just as friendly as the day Piccolo had met her, with slight wrinkles around the corners from smiling so much. She stood up slowly and held out her arms.
"Hello, Piccolo. Long time, no see." Piccolo met the woman in a warm hug, although she only reached his chest. She smiled up at him and the dentist detected tears forming in the her eyes.
"Hello, Eve." Piccolo smiled back, although his smile was somewhat restrained. "Too long."
Nail stood up and scratched his ear awkwardly. "Well, I have some stuff to take care of... I'll be back later. I have my cell if you need anything." He received a quick hug from the woman, then left.
The seconds of the clock ticked by, making the silence recognizable. The woman Piccolo had called Eve cleared her throat, waking the emerald man from his thoughts.
"Um, please... Have a seat." He himself went into the kitchen, turning the coffee machine on. He came back a moment later, smiling the same small smile. "This is a pleasant surprise." He stated, unsure of what to make of the visit. Eve nodded and patted his knee.
"It really has been a while... But you know... Well, Piccolo, you can tell me. How has it been for you? I know my daughter was to blame, but I feel responsible... Somehow. She was always so hard to control..."
"Eve-"
"Mom."
Piccolo cleared his throat and nodded. "Mom... don't worry. I'm doing ok now. At first it was hard, but..." He smiled and shrugged a little, rubbing the back of his neck afterwards. "Well, I mean to say that-"
Eve smiled largely and took Piccolo's hands in her own. "Oh, Piccy, you found someone?"
Piccolo grinned sheepishly and nodded absent-mindedly. "I think so. She's...well, she's a lot different than Lila."
Eves smile drooped slightly. "Piccolo... This whole thing has been unfair-"
Piccolo waved off the upcoming apology. "It wasn't your fault. Really, I'm ok now. How are things at home for you?"
Eve shrugged and smiled, though it looked forced. "Well, ever since Rick died, things have been a little crazy, you know... Everything is a lot quieter. What with him AND you not there..." Eve was referring to the amount of time Piccolo had spent with his father-in-law. They had also gotten along really well, even though Rick was Lila's step-father. Piccolo felt a pang of guilt now, not visiting his ex-mother-in-law. She had always been kind to him, but after the divorce... He couldn't bring himself to face her. She just looked so much like her daughter...
"-But it's not like he's coming back. What I wanted to say is, please come and... well, just visit with me. I really have missed you, Piccolo. You were the perfect son-in-law. More like a real son, actually. And I have been feeling so terrible these past few months, thinking of how hard it must be for you."
Piccolo smiled sadly. "Well, nothing lasts forever. Including the bad things." He patted Eve's knee and stood up. "You still take two sugars, right?"
-
"Piccolo, turn here." Sarah said, pointing to her right. Piccolo nodded and smoothly coasted to the pointed direction. He had been silent for most of the trip, thinking about the visit a couple of days ago. Seeing Eve again had reminded him that not everything that had to do with his past marriage was a complete waste. Eve had been like a mother to him, for the years he and Lila were married. The similarities between mother and daughter ended with their looks. Eve was much more calm and quiet than her offspring...
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Sarah asked suddenly, staring at the large green man. "You have barely said three words this whole time. You don't even look nervous." The kid looked out her window again. "It's about that car in the driveway, isn't it? Who was that?"
Piccolo gripped the steering wheel and focused on the winding road. "And old friend."
Sarah raised her eyebrows but said nothing, noting that this was not the time or place to push the dentist.
Some ten minutes later they arrived at the correct house, which was obvious to anyone. Ten or more cars surrounded the large property, making Piccolo wince inwardly. 'Lot of people...'
"Hey, HEY, Piccolo, there's a spot." Sarah said, pointing to an area free of automobiles. "Park there and let's go in."
Piccolo did as she asked and looked in the mirror a moment later. He looked normal enough. Not pale or anything...
"Ok, and remember: Don't laugh at Pop's jokes, decline any already-opened beverage from my brothers, and tell my mom you're catholic, if she asks. Um..." Sarah straightened Piccolo's tie and smiled. "I think we're gonna be ok," she said, doing the thumbs up. Piccolo nodded slowly and took a deep breath.
"I hope so."
A moment later found the pair at the front door, waiting. "Well, push the bell already." Piccolo whispered, watching as Sarah ran a hand over her hair.
"Yeah yeah, how's my hair?" She whispered back, looking peeved.
"Like it always is." Piccolo hissed, pushing the door bell.
"At least I HAVE-" She stopped in mid-sentence as a woman in her fifties opened the door, looking extrememly annoyed.
"You're late." She said to the girl, tapping her foot. "And you didn't wear the dress I told you to wear." Piccolo looked to the side, not wanting to get involved. The woman caught sight of Piccolo and pushed Sarah aside slightly.
"Hi, I'm Mary Jane, Sarah's mom. You must be Piccolo." She shook Piccolo's hand and turned back to her daughter. "I mean, you are still in JEANS, for goodness sake! And you didn't comb your hair to a more manageable-"
"Mom." Sarah said, raising a brow. "You said we weren't going to mass afterwards, and I didn't need to dress up."
The older woman growled and threw up her hands. "Ugh, no one listens! I said, clearly, WEAR something nice, you ARE going to midnight mass."
"Did NOT! Ugh, look. Jill was with me, and we both know you said-"
"I'm not celebrating Christmas this year! I'm going to go visit Grann." The mother said, pushing past her daughter. "And have a good time, Mr. Damioh." She smiled and waved at Piccolo, glowered at her daughter, then stalked to a white Buick and got in. She left the property a moment later. Sarah just shrugged and smiled at the disturbed Piccolo.
"She says that every year."
-
"-And the blonde one with the blue tie is Tom. That's it for the brothers." Sarah whispered, finishing telling Piccolo how to tell which sibling from which. "Now, on to my sisters-"
"Wait, who's THAT guy?" Piccolo asked quietly, motioning his head towards a bored-looking young man with black hair and a slight beard.
"That's Trev, Jo's friend. He's also not family, obviously. Now, I haven't seen Pop yet..."
"I'm right here, kiddo!" A deep but friendly voice said, startling Piccolo.
"Pop!" Sarah said, hopping into a big hug with the large, blonde man. His eyes were a light blue color, unlike his daughter's. They just looked clear, without all the various hues and shapes Sarah's had.
"You behaving yourself?" The man asked, setting the girl down. Sarah grinned and nodded.
"Yes sir!"
"Good work, my soldier." The man patted Sarah's head before extending a hand towards Piccolo. "And you must be-"
"Piccolo Damioh...the dentist." Piccolo smiled, taking the man's hand in his own large green one. He liked this guy for some reason. Maybe it was because he hadn't stopped smiling since Piccolo had seen him.
"Well, welcome Piccolo! I hope you have a good time. I'm Richard, by the way. But Rich is fine. Only my wife calls my Richard... when she's mad."
"So always?" Sarah said sweetly, receiving a playful poke from her father.
"If you had children like your brothers, wouldn't you be miffed a lot?" Richard said, winking at Piccolo. "Not to mention one like you young lady. Where do you think these gray hairs came from?" He gestured to the hair along his temples, though he was still smiling. "I'm going to go say hello to the kids. They expect you to do the same." He said to Sarah, patting her on the head once more before he left. Sarah grinned at Piccolo and gestured for him to walk with her.
"I'm thirsty. Do you want something to drink too?"
"Sure." Piccolo said, feeling that every blue eye was on him as they walked towards the kitchen.
Sarah opened the fridge and observed its contents. "Ok, we have Coors, Bud Light, Samuel Adams-"
"Anything non-alcoholic?"
Sarah just looked at Piccolo from behind the fridge door. "Piccolo, we're IRISH. Wrong question."
"Hey short stack, pass me a Sam, eh?" A tall man, but not quite as tall as Piccolo, grinned at the dentist. He held out his hand to the green man, who took it a moment later. "Hey there. I'm Dan, Sarah's eldest brother. You're Dr. Damioh, right?"
Before Piccolo could reply, a blonde woman in her early thirties walked up, snatching the beer out of Sarah's hand before she gave it to her brother.
"Daniel! I have already had something to drink. YOU have to drive, tonight." She glared at the man once more before turning to Piccolo. "Hello, I'm Jennifer. You're the dentist, right?"
"Yes, that's me, Piccolo Damioh." Piccolo shook her hand. A moment later she was glowering at Dan again.
"You can have ONE beer, but that is for the entire night. ONE." She held up a finger to illustrate her point, then walked out. Sarah's eyes were half closed as she held up the controversial drink.
"Do you even WANT it now?"
Dan snorted and shook his head. "It's ruined now. Give it to him." He said, gesturing to Piccolo. Sarah tossed the bottle to Piccolo, who caught it with uncertainty. Sarah's brother looked at the man seriously and said, 'Being married sucks." And walked out of the kitchen, leaving Sarah and Piccolo alone.
"Words of wisdom." Sarah lamented, getting a cola for herself. "No use talking to him the rest of the night. He'll only be edgy." She opened her cola and took a sip. Piccolo frowned at her, shaking his head slightly.
"That stuff rots your teeth."
"So? I'll have an excuse to come bug you some more." Sarah grinned at her green friend, tugging on his sleeve. "Come on, I wanna see Hannah." But before they got too far, a reddish-blonde girl stepped in front of them.
"Sarah."
"Jo Anna."
"You made Mom upset."
"YOU make ME upset."
"Real witty. I see you didn't bother dressing up."
"Bugger off, Jo. I'm not in the mood."
"Excuse me? Where is your holiday love, Sarah? Real Christian behavior."
"You're right, I'm sorry." Sarah said, making her sister smile triumphantly. "...PLEASE bugger off, and may the light of Christ be with you, you tosser." Sarah happily strode past the young lady and grinned at Piccolo, gesturing for him to come with her. "Let's blow this pop stand." She said, with a backwards, sly look at her sister. Piccolo just stared straight ahead, taking a drink from his beer.
He thought HE had it bad.
-
"...And the tall, skinny little punk over there is Zach. He's only two years younger than me." Sarah whispered, pointing to a boy playing video games. "That's it for my nephews, and as for my nieces-"
"Sa-sa!" A little red, curly-haired girl took a grip on the teen's legs, grinning mischievously up at Sarah. "Waachu doin', Sa-Sa?"
"Nothin', sugar bear! Just talking to Mr. Damioh."
"Mista Oh-hi-o?"
Piccolo smiled and shrugged. "Close enough." Sarah grinned and mouthed 'I'll be right back.' Piccolo nodded, watching the girl slip out of the room. Then the dentist sat on his heels and looked at the little child in front of him face-to-face. "And you are?"
The girl giggled and touched Piccolo's ears. "Hannah!"
"Well, Hannah, nice to meet you." Piccolo held out a hand to the little girl, who tried to shake it with her own tiny one.
"Ice to eat du too." Hannah giggled, giving Piccolo a kiss on the nose. "Du ice, Mista Oh-hi-o. Want see mah pretty?" She asked, running away. Piccolo just blinked and inwardly said 'pretty'. He had no idea what the girl meant. However, she came back a moment later, holding a large beaded necklace. "Dis mah pretty!" She said, handing it to Piccolo. "Puts it on!" She said, hopping up and down. Piccolo looked at her, smiling.
"Uh, I think it would look much prettier on you." He said, handing it back. Hannah giggled and threw the bright jewellery on, smiling like the sun.
"Yup, boys yook silly wit dis." She said, proudly displaying the necklace on herself. Piccolo chuckled and nodded.
"Yes, boy look silly with that." He stood up again, looking around. The kid still wasn't there.
"Uh, uh!" Hannah said, catching the attention of Piccolo. He looked to his legs, where Hannah was tugged on. "Ick me up!" She said, hitting the dentist's legs softly. "Ick me up!"
Piccolo raised a brow, smiling. "Pick you up?" He said, making Hannah nod.
"Is wat me said!"
Sarah emerged a moment later, finding Hannah hitting her friend and demanding to be picked up.
"Hey, little missy! What are you doing to my friend? Be sweet."
Hannah smiled toothily. "Tay. Me wants up, pwease." Sarah laughed and nodded to Piccolo.
"Just humor her." Piccolo raised a brow again and sighed, smiling.
"Ok, up we go." He said, hoisting the little girl up. Hannah giggled and looked around the room, wide-eyed.
"You's BIG, Mista Oh-hi-o." Sarah laughed and took the little girl from Piccolo unsure arms.
"Hannah, go play. Me and Mister DA-mioh are going to go talk to the grown-ups." Hannah frowned and shook her head.
"Why come? Dey bo-wing." Sarah chuckled and patted her niece's head.
"Because, Mama Jane said Auntie Sa-Sa has to be good, and conform to the strict standards set by society."
Hannah nodded blankly, running off to play a moment later. Piccolo frowned at Sarah, who laughed nervously and scratched her head. "Well, it's the truth. I don't believe in lying to kids!"
-
After meeting the rest of Sarah's family, Piccolo felt tired and bewildered. He had never met so many odd people in one place before. Sarah took him outside, where he could rest for a little while before going home.
The backyard was not what it should have been. It was merely a forest fifteen yards from the house. It had a cushioned bench by the walls, though, allowing Piccolo to catch his breath.
"So... NOW you see what I mean when I say you have it easy?" Sarah asked, her feet dangling high off the ground, as usual. Piccolo nodded and sighed.
"Man, how do you DO it? Nail is enough for me... But SIX brothers and sisters..."
"Yeah, well... I have the little kids to distract me from killing them." She smiled and looked up at the night sky. "Hannah's a doll, huh? She doesn't like everybody, you know. In fact, I think she doesn't like Jo Anna."
"Speaking of, what IS it with you two?" Piccolo asked suddenly. "You seem to hate each other."
"Not hate... I just didn't ask for her to be my sister, that's all." She shrugged and leaned back. "Don't worry about it. Besides, I get along really well with Jill and Seth-"
The door opened, making Sarah pause. A large man with a beard and a hat on stepped outside, sighing. He caught sight of the pair and walked over.
"Hey. Crazy as hell in there, eh Sa-Sa?"
Sarah grinned and nodded, shaking the man's hand. "Hey, Gus. This is my friend Piccolo."
Gus grinned and shook the dentist's hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Jill's husband." He nodded back towards the house. "Man... Must be hard for a first-timer." He reached inside his shirt pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He pulled one out and stuck it in his mouth. His eyebrows raised as he offered the pack to Piccolo.
"You need one?" He asked, making Sarah laugh.
"Sure he needs one, but he doesn't smoke." Gus nodded and stuck the pack back in. Sarah took on a more serious tone a moment later. "And I thought you were quitting."
Gus lit the cigarette and let it sit in his mouth for a moment. "I've quit like ten times." He mumbled, taking a drag. "Besides, I'm down to half a pack a day, now. Damn patch and all... The steps, or whatever the hell they call it." He tapped the end of the fag and sighed. "You know how much your family stresses a man out, Sarah."
Sarah grinned and clapped her brother-in-law on the back. "I know all too well, Gus, my boy."
-
Dinner time was actually very relaxed. A key factor was no doubt the alcohol that had been circulating the veins of most of the guests. Piccolo himself was actually comfortable now, seated next to Sarah's favorite brother, Seth. The man was very laid back and had a humor of the same nature. His greyish-blue eyes weren't unfriendly to Piccolo, who had taken a liking to the cool man.
"Sarah, would you please act like a host and ask your guest if he would like something to drink?" Jo Anna asked in a sugary-sweet tone. However, Piccolo suspected that to the kid, it sounded more like Splenda than actual sugar.
"I'm fine, really." Piccolo said, not wanting any conflict to begin.
"Why don't you ask him yourself, instead of referring to him like he's deaf and can't hear the request?"
"It's ok, real-"
"Why don't YOU quit acting like a immature BRAT for once, and quit trying to fight?"
"What the hell? You started it, damn you!" Sarah said heatedly, making her father frown.
"No swearing at the table."
"Natürlich, es ist immer MEINE Schuld!" Jo Anna replied, looked satisfied.
"Hey, no talking in German at the table." Richard said, looking nervous. "Huh, I've never had to make THAT rule before."
"Es IST immer deine Schuld, du verdammte Kuh!" Sarah yelled, making Jill stand up and take authority.
"NO SWEARING IN GODDAMN GERMAN, VERSTEHT IHR!" Sarah and Jo Anna nodded. A moment later the talking resumed to normal. However, Jo Anna mouthed something to her sister, at which Sarah gestured, with her thumb extended, the action of slitting her throat.
Piccolo looked to Seth, who laughed and clapped the dentist on the back. "You are so lucky you have only one brother."
-
Later, when Piccolo was getting ready to go home, Sarah dragged him off to the side.
"Piccolo? You know why I brought you here, right?"
Piccolo blinked and shook his head negatively. "I thought you just brought me here because you wanted to."
Sarah grinned and patted Piccolo's back. "I wanted you to see something. During the course of the night, you've had to see what MY family is like. It's loud, it's hectic, it's usually annoying..."
Piccolo blinked again. "I still don't see why-"
"Piccolo, I just wanted you to see that everyone has problems. My family is one big walking satire. My brother Dan, Gus, Jen... They are all in their second marriage. Jo Anna and I- We're like you and Nail. We appear to hate each other, but deep down... Well, we're family. You see? It's not just you. I mean, I know everything seems strange. You are starting to date again and all... Just know that everybody does it, and it's perfectly normal... Please don't be sad. Nail suggested this to me, because he was under the impression that you...Well, that you were still brooding over Lila." Sarah paused and smiled, patting Piccolo's shoulder. "We just want you to be happy, and know you are never alone in this."
Piccolo stood there, thinking over what the kid had said. She was right, in her own crazy way. Everyone he had encountered tonight... She had planned it. It was touching, the trouble she had gone through to make him understand... That his pain, his new trials... He was never in them by himself. The dentist looked down at the smiling kid and nodded.
"Thanks..."
Sarah grinned larger and shrugged. "Hey, what are friends for?" She giggled and left the room, coming back a moment later. Her arms were behind her back, and her face looked ready to break, she was smiling so big.
"Here." She whipped out a wrapped box and handed it to Piccolo. "This is for you. You have to open it tomorrow, ok? Merry Christmas, Piccolo."
Piccolo took the gift and grinned. "Mine is in the car. Hold on, I'll be right back."
Sarah grinned and waited, laughing when Piccolo came back with a crappily-wrapped gift, and a perfectly wrapped one.
"This one-" he handed the nice one to her first, "-is from Nail. Merry Christmas from him. And this-" he gave her the ugly one, smiling sheepishly, "-is from me. Sorry about the paper, I-"
His sentence was cut short as Sarah hugged him tightly. "Thanks, Piccolo... I love it even more, because I know YOU did it. That was really nice of you." She looked at the gifts she had set down and smiled. "Huh. I can't believe I have to wait until tomorrow."
Piccolo patted her head and chuckled. "Believe it, kid." He walked to the door and smiled over his shoulder at his young friend. "And thanks. You know..." He opened the door and stepped outside. "...For everything."
-
Hehe, I rule. I spent my valuable morning writing to get this done. I hope it was amusing for you all. Happy New Year, once again. I love hearing from you all.
-Ace
Oh, the German up there was simple crap like, 'it's always my fault, huh?' To which Sarah replied, 'It IS always your fault you damn cow!' And the last sister just said, 'Do you all understand?' Woot!