Jayne came awake slowly, enjoying the feeling of warmth coming from the small body next to him. River was still sleeping, curled on her side, her back pressed against him. His arm was still wrapped around her middle.
"Jayne!" There was a banging on the hatch to his bunk. A moment later, the hatch came open and Jayne saw Mal's boots coming down the ladder.
Jayne felt a stab of panic and tried to climb over River. He got tangled in the extra blankets and he ended up in a heap on the floor. River groaned and pushed his legs off of her just as Mal stepped into the bunk.
"Simon's lookin' for River. She not-" Mal stopped speaking when he saw the scene in the room. "You wanna tell me what the gorram hell is goin' on in here before I toss you out the airlock?"
"It ain't what it looks like, Mal. I swear to you, it ain't what it looks like." Jayne got to his feet and thanked the cold ship that he was fully dressed.
River sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. She hadn't said anything, simply watched Mal with her big eyes. "I'm right here," she finally spoke up.
"Yes, well, I can see that, mei mei. What're you doin' in Jayne's bunk?" The anger on Mal's face melted when he turned to River.
She looked at Jayne and smiled. "I was cold. Everyone was warm with someone else and I had no one. Jayne had no one either."
"I'm not sure I follow you." Mal wasn't sure he wanted to follow her either.
"Kaylee and Simon were sharing warmth. You and Inara were-"
Mal interrupted her. "I don't need ta hear about yer brother and Kaylee sexin' each other up. You sayin' you came in here lookin' for sex?"
River fixed Mal with a look. "I do not mean physical intercourse although that is what Simon and Kaylee were doing. I mean warmth. Being warm. Sleeping in the same bed to conserve body heat and preserve minimum safe internal temperature." She raised one of her feet and wiggled her toes. "And Jayne let me wear his socks."
"So nothing happened?"
Another look from River. Jayne finally spoke up. "I tried ta get rid of her last night but she were shiverin' so bad. It was kinda pathetic."
"Jayne wanted the extra blankets. I stole them from Simon's bed." River slid off the bed and padded over to Mal. "He couldn't have them without me," she said with a smile.
Mal made a face and looked at both of them. "Jayne, you come with me and help me distract Simon. River, you get some place else 'fore yer brother finds you here. I don't relish the idea of findin' a new doc or a new merc."
"Hey! You think I couldn't take that prissy ass doc?" Jayne protested.
Mal shook his head. "Nope. But I think Kaylee'd gitcha in yer sleep if ya did."
"Or me." River piped up. Jayne looked at her sharply but River had a look of pure innocence on her face.
"Don't get me wrong, little witch, we three will be having a conversation about this later," Mal said before climbing out of the bunk. Jayne glared at her and followed him. River smiled to herself and gathered her blankets. In her head, she was already cataloguing the ways she would annoy her brother today. One last look around the room, and she added a few ways for Janye.