Chapter 1 – Introducing Hermione Granger

Love is not when you want or need to be with them every second of the day.

Love is when the time you spend with them is perfect,

and the time you spend apart is equally as good.

Love is not when you depend on them and your whole life revolves around them,

Love is when they are a perfect addition in your life.

It doesn't make everything else seem perfect it makes everything else bearable and manageable.

They help you grow as a person and make you a better person and feel better about yourself and life in general.

Love is not when you hate saying goodbye

Love is when you see 'goodbye' as the possibility of saying 'hello' all over again.

Love does not cover their flaws

Love does show their flaws for all they are but you love their imperfections because it makes them who they are and you love and accept them for who they are.

Love grows and encourages growth

Love is not perfect but it is always close

Love

Real true love

Is the best thing that will ever happen to you.

(By butterflyx in UrbanDictionary)

So, what does love have anything to do with Hermione Granger?

The answer is, it is the only thing that she lacked in her life.

To love, and to be loved.

September 19th, 1995

Every year, the date had been marked as the day of her existence to the world and this year was her 16th. For many years now, she had been wondering the meaning of life and how did love fit in the description. But she had yet to be able to understand her purpose of living.

Maybe if she had been loved by her parents, she would have grown to be a grateful daughter.

Maybe if she had acquired love from friends, she would have people standing by her side and for her to be closed with.

Maybe if any of her teachers loved her, she would have been more honest and trustworthy.

Maybe if someone would love her unconditionally, she would have been able to love herself eventually.

Alas, she had no parents, no friends, no teachers cared about her. And certainly, no particular someone would love her being. She was alone, but she was fine with it.

Tonight, was a peaceful night. There was no howling from werewolves, no rustling of leaves, and no sound of footsteps can be heard. She was sitting near the Black Lake alone, underneath a starry sky and she felt calm and soothing.

For the past four years, she had spent the same night at the same spot she had always sat. Her eyes glazed towards the black sky as her mind wandered to the memories, she had for the first earlier years of her life.

She used to have loving parents. Both of them were dentists and they had their own dental clinic in a muggle town in the suburb part of London. She had always been doted on for being an only child. Her mind had always been eager to learn new things and she always loved to help her parents; thus, she was always attached to their side even when they went to work. When she was not permitted to do certain things, she would be given books to read.

And books were her most favourite companions.

Those days were the happiest she felt in her life, but they were so far away in the past now.

Things started to crumble during her life in primary school.

She had always been a bookworm and her passion for reading was known to many. She would always be found sitting in her school library during breaks or free time. On every holiday, she would spend her time in the town's library if she did not go to her parent's clinic. She was not really a sociable person, but she was fine with it.

It was a nonsense, really, to be mocked and bullied because of her intelligence and passion to read. She was at the top in every exam and she had always answered any question asked with perfect wording. Just because people envied her academic achievements and could not top her rivalry, she had to be cast out and tormented by her bullies. She had never told her parents about it because she did not want to burden them with petty issues that she could handle, or at the very least were bearable.

So, she burrowed herself in more books. They did not only give her various knowledge, but they also gave her the solitude she sought. Her mother would always be happy to purchase more when she asked for it.

The first time she felt something that akin to power was when she was powerless.

The bullies had called her out during a break one day and started calling her names. She felt indifferent towards them thus she acted nonchalantly but they became upset with her lack of response to their verbal insults, so they started to act physically towards her. It was a one-versus-seven match and was totally unfair to her. She did her best in shielding and protecting herself, particularly her head because she loved her brain more than anything. Yet they did not stop and as she felt pain coursing through her entire body, she could feel something akin to dark energy pulsing in her vein.

She felt immense power from deep within her as her mind cursing them to stop the torments. She had heard the sound of broken window glasses from behind her and lots of screaming from her front. Her eyes were red with fury as she looked up to the bullies who were shivering and shaking in fear. She watched as pieces of the broken glasses were levitating in between he and the bullies, pointing specifically towards the group of cowards. They were screaming and shouting and she knew other people could hear them.

Soon, footsteps can be heard and she saw teachers and other students coming near. They gasped upon seeing many broken windows glasses shattered around her — no longer levitated. The teachers questioned but the bullies were shouting, and — not surprisingly — she got new names that day.

"Freak!"

"Witch!"

"Demon!"

Well, those did not sound so bad, to be honest, and definitely way better than 'bookish' or 'worms'.

The teachers ushered them to the principal's office and told him what they saw. The Principal was a kind old man who resembled Father Santa with his loving smile. He dismissed the group of teachers and asked the students to explain the situation in details. They shrieked at him as they told him of her 'freak power' with the omittance to their bullying behaviour towards her.

When it was her turn to say anything to defense herself, she just shrugged her shoulders and sat straighter in her seat, squaring her shoulders in defiance. She could feel the residue of the power within her — it was quite addicting — but she let it slide as it would not be good for her to indulge in it.

The bullies were dismissed without any further repercussion but her parents were called in. Before long, her mother and father were there, sitting in the seats on each side of her. The headmaster recapped the stories that he had heard and told them about her defiance in speaking anything in her defense. Her mother looked at her with concern in her eyes while her father has gotten furious at her disobedience and both of them insisted on her to say anything but she did not even budge.

She was suspended from the school for a week, but she did not mind at all.

She spent the week trying to make sense of the power she had felt before — its origin, causes and symptoms. She researched through various libraries and read through many books but had only managed to come up with one common answer — magic.

She had magic inside her — magic that she did not know anyone around her ever had. She felt special, unique even. She read more on the characteristics of magic and had tried to immerse herself in the feeling of magic running through her being.

Her mother had told her before about how magical it was that every time she got hurt, the wounds would instantly be healed. She never realized and thought much about it but then, as she recalled the feeling of pain she got from the bullies, she realized the pain subsided soon enough.

She remembered many books she had read about Morgan Le Fay — a powerful dark witch — and wondered if she had the same power as the legendary woman. She thought of what could happen if she becomes as powerful as her.

She subtly asked her parents if they had ever felt such power but was disappointed in their answers. Maybe she was the only one in the world to have it. The thought made her wonder if she was born with a purpose in life or maybe she was destined for greatness? She laughed at her thoughts because that would be impossible, as she was only a bookworm.

Words spread around and people had started to avoid or distance themselves around her family like a plague and her parents were the casualties. She never had an outburst of her magic anymore and had tried to control it, even if there were minor mishaps happened from time to time. She was able to levitate things when she willed for it but that was about much, she knew of what to do with her magic anyway.

Her father had changed significantly and he would chastise her if she was caught using magic in the house. He was starting to get emotional and mental from all the harassments from people surrounding them. He started drinking and became more physical towards her, sometimes even calling her a 'witch' himself. There were a few times when he was heavily drunk and he said some nonsensical words.

"You were never our daughter"

"We never knew we picked up a witch from that house"

"Why did a witch had to be our daughter?"

She failed to ignore herself from wondering the same things. Why was she the only one amongst them that has the ability? Were they her real parents and if not, then who? Where did she come from?

Her mother's health had deteriorated each day and she became weak at trying to stop any of her father's violence towards her. Hermione asked her mother for the truth and she was initially reluctant to tell her, but she eventually gave in.

They had chosen her when she was a month old from a foster house. The only thing they knew about her was her name, Hermione, and her birthdate. Nothing else was known and nothing else mattered to them, so they adopted her and she became a Granger.

It pained her to get to know of her story in that situation. She had wished that they would have trusted her and had they told her earlier, she would have accepted it with an open heart.

What hurt her more was coming back from school one day only to see her mother's lifeless body in the bathtub, a knife in one hand and open slits at her left wrist. The tub was filled with thick, deep red blood mixed with water. In her state of shock and panic, she screamed aloud and accidentally let her magic burst strong thus shattering all the glasses inside the house. Her father came home and handled everything while she hid in her bedroom.

It was supposed to be her 10th birthday.

Shaken, she sat on the floor in her bedroom with her back against the bed. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and she cradled her head in her arms. She was trembling as she broke down, sobbing and crying violently until she could not breathe and passed out. They had a funeral for her late mother two days later but not many people come and no one sent her any condolences. Her father had gotten drunk and inebriated, and he beat her senseless as he blamed her.

She did not even realize the bank account book and a letter on her study table until later.

They were left by her mother before she chose to kill herself. She still kept the letter until now and would always read it on the night of her birthday every year since. Tonight, she would read it again even though she already had every word memorized. A soft breeze was enveloping her, not warm but not so cold either — it was perfect. She reached into her pocket to retrieve the letter and her wand lit up with 'Lumos' as she pointed at it.

My dearest child,

I love you from the moment I first laid my eyes on you. You were beautiful and adorable, your eyes shone so brightly with curiosity and wonder, your mind so brilliant, your heart so kind and full of love, and I'm always proud of you. You're every bit of a daughter I have ever wished for.

I'm very sorry for being a weak mother. I'm sorry for not being able to protect you. And I am deeply sorry for choosing the path that I take. I left you the account under your name, which I have been saving for your future. I know it will never be enough, but I hope you will one day forgive me from the bottom of your heart.

No matter what people call you, you are my Hermione. Be the Hermione that I am always proud of.

Be you.

Loving you till the end of life,

Mother.

She reread it a couple of times before folding it and returned it in her pocket. Her adopted mother may have been the only one who loved her dearly, but her love was weak enough that she was willing to end her life instead of standing by her daughter's side.

Her father, on the other hand, he had lost himself to his own demon.

-rape scene ensues-

On one summer day in the year after her mother's death, Hermione was sitting in the shade under a lonely tree in the backyard of her house. It was a fine summer evening and the sky was in a lovely shade of yellow and orange as sunset was approaching the horizon. Her bushy brunette hair was untamed and she was quite small and skinny and on the brink of unhealthy thin.

As she was so absorbed in her reading, she had not heard her father who was calling for her from inside the house. She only realized when she heard footsteps approaching near and as she looked up, her body instantly froze in fear.

Her father was red with rage and he looked like a savage beast. He grabbed her hair and yanked her up, she moaned from the pain. They were so close that she could smell the alcohol from his breath.

"What the hell have you been doing? I have been calling your name many times!" He pulled her hair hard and she groaned.

"I'm sorry, I was reading!" She gritted her teeth as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Reading again? You foolish girl!" He hit her cheek once. "Where is my dinner? How many times do I have to tell you that I want my meal every time I come home! Do you think reading can help you now? You stupid, ungrateful witch! You deserve punishments." He dragged her inside the house and her feet rushed to follow as her head hurt from being pulled by the hair.

"I'm sorry! I promise I won't do it again. Please forgive me, father." She tried to plead but was thrown roughly onto the sofa in the living room and she let out another moan from the pain. She then heard the sound of a belt and instantly knew he had taken it off to deliver his 'punishment'.

"You dare call me father?!" He shouted at her face. "Listen, witch! I'm not your father and I don't have a witch who brings bad luck and ruins our lives as a daughter! You." Smack! "Are the reason." Smack! "For my wife's." Smack! "Death!" Smack! He punctuated every word by whipping the belt over her body.

Hermione became a mess of tears, screams and bruises. "I'm sorry! Please, stop... Don't hit me, please..." Her pleas fell on deaf ears. She tossed and turned but could not run as she was trapped on the sofa.

He whipped and whacked until he felt satisfied, and he threw the belt away. He held her cheeks in both his hands and wiped away her tears. Hermione was confused at the sudden turnabout of demeanours.

She was still panting hard as she dared to look at him. He was looking at her but was not really seeing. His eyes were dark and hollow and he smiled at her so sweet that it made her felt sick to the gut.

"Why are you crying, pretty girl? Who dare make you sad?" He said in a sickly-sweet tone. "Mmm, aren't you such a doll. You look so good to be eaten and I am so, so hungry, girl. What are you going to do about it, hmm?"

Her eyes widened with shock and instantly filled with fear. "NO!" She turned to run away from him but he was quick to grab her roughly and pinned her back on the sofa.

With a strength of a demon, he ripped her clothes apart until barely anything covered her fair skin. He grinned ferociously at the fright he saw in her eyes. While pinning her wrists above her with one hand, he slapped her cheek hard with his free hand and she could feel the taste of copper in her mouth.

"Don't move!" He shouted and she whimpered.

He stood up and pulled down his pants and boxer, and he moaned as a hand went to jerk his dick off. The sight of him made her felt like throwing up. She braced herself, spat at him and ran away from the room, but she did not get far when he managed to grab one of her legs. She fell down on the stairs and hit her forehead. Letting out a groan, her head throbbed in pain as blood trickled down from an open wound.

"Oh no! Look at the blood, you dare dirtied my floor! Why you love being dirty, don't you, dirty whore!" He inched closer to he and deliberately licked the blood.

"Please, stop... No no no no..." She wailed at him in disgust and fear.

"Mm, you taste so sweet, my dear. I wonder if you taste sweet anywhere else."

He forcefully kissed her lips and pushed his tongue into her mouth but he hissed in pain when she bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood. He slapped her cheek again, then bit on her shoulders and his hands pinned her wrists above her head again causing her to scream in pain. She had been so fragile from the lack of malnutrition and his beating had made her feebler. He bit and sucked hard on her chests and abdomen and he laughed upon seeing the bruises he made.

With a quick move, he impaled her and moaned when he felt her tightness. She let out another cry at the pain she felt as her womanhood was being torn apart. He thrust fast and hard while he focused on his twisted pleasure and she choked on her strangled cries. He started to move faster when he felt the climax nearing and with her remaining energy, she channeled her magic from inside her core. Her magic blasted from all over her body and threw him off towards the opposite wall. Light surrounded her body for a few seconds before darkness enveloped her. Too tired to even breath, she ended up passed out on the blood-stain stairs.

Hermione still remembered the traumatized incident as if it happened just yesterday but it actually happened on the day before she received the acceptance letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Four years had passed since then but she still shuddered at the memory.

Her heart now pulsated fast as her breathing became quick and shallow. Her hands were trembling as she reached for her small blade hidden in her enchanted pocket. Pulling it out, she glanced at her arms that were both full of lines marring her skin.

She then pulled up her pants on her right leg and with a still trembling hand, she forced the blade tip into her calf. Blood gushed out as she was drawing a fresh line. She bit her lips until she felt the taste of copper in her mouth, biting back a groan until she was done. Tears leaked out from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks at the pain she felt. She let go of the blade full with her blood and took deep breaths to calm herself down. Soon enough she saw the wound healed and closed up by itself. She cast a quick 'Scourgify' to clean the wound and the blade before she tucked the item back into her enchanted pocket. Finally, she cast a glamour on herself to hide all the wounds she had.

Satisfied and feeling relaxed, she stood up and stretched her body while feeling the pain in her leg turning numb. She chuckles at the memory when she thought of being special but now, she knew that there were apparently a lot of people in the world who also had magic like her. Maybe she was no one, after all, she simply was just a 'bookworm witch' now. She shook her head and started moving back towards the dungeon to rest for the night.

'Happy birthday, dear self.' Her smile seemed painful and forced.