Chapter Sixteen
Gamble Everything For Love
When I arrived back at our dorm Malfoy was just sitting at the fire staring into space his eyes red and tears streaming down his face. I knew that he had saved this for himself. he hated crying in front of people and he didn't want people to see his guilt. Everyone had blamed him for Harry's suicide not knowing the real reason behind it. he felt as if he had been the cause of Harry's death, if he had left everything alone it would have been okay and his insides had frozen not knowing of the last encounter I had had with Harry. He would turn into his old self. He would wear the iron mask given to him. He would forget me, treat me like he used to he knew in his heart this is what he had to do as much as he didn't want to.
"Draco?" i asked not knowing of his new promise to himself.
"What mudblood?" he snapped at me his red glassy eyes giving me a stare so hateful that i felt my insides shrivel. Harry had been wrong he did not love me anymore.
"Mudblood? what are you talking about Draco?" I questioned him again.
"You heard me granger, I don't have to justify myself to you now what do you want?" he continued in his icy and uncaring tone.
"To say I'm sorry," I tried to ease his pain.
"Look you're too late for sorry Granger," he quipped not letting me in not even for a second.
"Fine ferret boy," i began getting impatient and snappy with him, "But just so you know as head and boy and girl we have to attend the Graduation Ball together! I hope you have a nice night if you don't choke on your butterbeer first!" I stormed to my room happy to have the last words. I grabbed my Jim Beam and my pot and did what i always did when my world went topsy-turvy, I got stoned and i drank always remembering the golden rule Harry had told me.
Beer than grass, you're on your ass,
Grass than Beer, you're in the clear.
I laughed as his words came to me and I raised a toast for him but guilt nagged at me as i ignored his last words to me.
Gamble everything for love
Put it in a place you keep, put your name,
You can gamble everything for love if your free.
You gotta gamble everything for love.
Malfoy sat down at the desk and pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote a note to me only to scrunch it up and throw it in the bin.
Baby are you cold, are you cold baby,
I could wrap you up, wrap you up in my love.
If you wanna you can gamble everything for love
If you wanna you can gamble everything for love.
I took a swig and another and another without any cola once i was well and truly smashed and looked at the now 3/4 empty bottle which had once been full.
"Wow I'm getting worse," i slurred to myself.
Tell me are you feeling lost, have you crossed
In places that you never knew to get through
Tell me are you gunna cry all night
Tell me the truth and I'll tell you the truth
If you gamble everything for love your gunna be all right, all right.
I burst into tears in my state for not only had i lost my best friend since first year but i had also lost the man who had loved me the most. I was so sure that he loved me that in my drunken state i did something stupid though because i was drunk i didn't know it was so stupid.
Make a list of things you need, Kept it empty
Except for number one that love gamble everything
Keep it under lock and key,
If you wanna you can gamble everything for love
I opened the door to my room and swayed to the Sofa where he was now sitting and plonked myself down beside him.
Love me with an open heart, tell me anything
We can find a place to start to gamble everything
We can set this thing apart, yes we're gunna
Gunna gamble everything for love
"Hey Malfoy!" I chirped drunkenly and he waved his hand in front of his face due to the stench of Jim Beam on my breath.
"Fuck off Granger, how many times do i have to say it you drunken bitch?"
Tell me do you lose your way each day
are there people you don't recognize do they lie
Tell me did they make you feel to real
Tell me the truth and I'll tell you the truth.
If you gamble everything for love you're gunna be all right
All right.
"Awww you're such a sook," i laughed at him which obviously from his grumpy look made things worse though in my state i though i was funny and laughed at my own comment.
"Stop laughing at yourself granger, don't you know everyone does enough of that behind your back? Besides I am not whatever you think I am Granger," was his reply.
Ohhh you can go your own way
Ohhh you can go your own way
Ohhh you gotta go your own way
If you gamble everything for love
If you gamble everything for love
"I may be drunk Malfoy but I'm not stupid."
"Coulda fooled me, you're stupid to get drunk in the first place," he quickly responded.
"I knew you cared!" i pointed at him and broke into another fit of drunken giggles. I took another swig of my bottle emptying it only for it to fill up once again. Malfoy just gave me another sour look and rolled his eyes before responding.
"You are such a stupid bitch."
If you gamble everything for love, gamble everything,
put it in a place you keep put your name.
You can gamble everything for love if you're free
You gotta Gamble everything for love.
"I'm smarter than you still! and my grades have slipped but they are still higher than yours."
"You're always higher than me," he insulted cleverly.
"Shut your fucking face Malfoy! You don't know me!" i slung back not so clever now the booze had taken its effect on me.
"That's where you are wrong mudblood," he faced me and looked straight into my eyes, "I know you better than you think, better than anyone else sometimes even yourself, I just wish I didn't."
"No you don't Malfoy, don't lie to yourself, you're only doing this because you love me and you know i don't love you in return even after everything you have done for me."
Tell me are you getting hurt is it worth it
Tell me are the people strange are they changed
Tell me are you letting go do you know
I'll tell you the truth if you tell me the truth.
"Now you listen to me mudblood he grabbed my shin and once again stared icily into my eyes, " i thought i loved you but i was wrong, i just wanted to take your virginity, find out your secrets and break your heart just like i told Pansy i could. You were just another conquest to me."
If you gamble everything for love
If you gamble everything for love
If you gamble everything for love
You're gunna be all right
all right all right
"You're so full of shit Malfoy i can see it in your face," I laughed at him.
"No granger, you're the one who is full of shit! You like me maybe even love me but you are the one who is too afraid to admit it."
"Malfoy... I like you," I burst into more giggles.
'You're really pathetic you know that?"
"I know you are I said you are but what am I?"
"A child."
"I am rubber you are glue what bounces off me sticks to you."
"I'm going to bed and i suggest you do too and sleep off some of that booze you ingested you'll probably get alcohol poisoning from all you just drank."
"See i told you, you cared for me!"
"Granger, how many times do i have to say it? I am simply concerned for your health, you know what no i'm not really do what ever you want you stupid mudblood," and he turned to walk to his room. I stood and took his wrist in my hand spinning him around to face me pulling his face closer and closer to mine. He kissed me back full of passion he had kept inside that he had wanted to release onto my lips.
"I told you, you still love me," I breathed once we broke off the steamy kiss.
"Yeah," he breathed onto my lips, "But i can't love you and I can't look back this is how is has to be.
Never look back we said how was I to know I'd miss you so,
Loneliness up ahead emptiness behind where do i go?
and you couldn't hear all my joy through my fear,
all my hope through my tears did you know?
Still I miss you so much.
Draco sat on his lounge and lit a joint but the thoughts of me would not erase themselves from my memory.
From the bottom of my broken heart,
There's just a think that i want you to know.
You were my first love, you were my true love
From the very first kisses to the very last rose.
"She was drunk," he told himself over and over again, "she didn't know what she was doing. He forced himself to believe this.
From the bottom of my broken heart,
Even if time may find me somebody knew.
You were my real love I never knew love,
till there was you,
From the bottom of my broken heart.
I brushed my lips with my finger and remembered his soft lips savagely fighting for dominance over mine causing a warm sensation to fill my stomach.
Baby I said please stay,
Give our love a chance for one more day,
We could have worked things out,
Taking time is what love's all about
I didn't really like Malfoy did I? That would just be stupid.
But you put a dart through my dreams through my heart,
And i'm back where i started again.
Never thought it would end.
Draco felt all his emotions begin to bubble to the surface like an overheated cauldron but he tried to squash them like turning down the fire but the fire kept heating hotter and hotter till he could not help his emotions and he put his head in his hands and cried.
From the bottom of my broken heart,
There's just a think that i want you to know.
You were my first love, you were my true love
From the very first kisses to the very last rose.
From the bottom of my broken heart,
Even if time may find me somebody knew.
You were my real love I never knew love,
till there was you,
From the bottom of my broken heart.
I walked to the door and raised my hand to knock but at the last minute i chickened out and slumped my back to the door to the ground and put my head in my hands and cried.
You promised yourself,
but to somebody else.
And you made it so perfectly clear,
still i wish you were here
Draco stood and went to open the door. He stood there for a few minutes trying to think of what to say and how to apologize but he could not find away and he chickened out and leant his back to the door and slumped to the floor.
From the bottom of my broken heart,
There's just a think that i want you to know.
You were my first love, you were my true love
From the very first kisses to the very last rose.
From the bottom of my broken heart,
Even if time may find me somebody knew.
You were my real love I never knew love,
till there was you,
From the bottom of my broken heart.