Thanks again for the reviews, everyone. Und ich möchte gern dir bedanken, Tina. Das war sehr nett von dir. Ich frohe mich, das du kannst alles gut verstehen. Wirklich, gut gemacht!
Oh, and everyone... I just came back from Ladies Night at the disco... Which means five free drinks of your choice. Just letting you all know, I didn't get a cola... Enjoy, kids.
-
Christmas. This year was completely different than the last ones he had celebrated. For one, he was alone when he woke up. The dentist looked to the empty side of the bed and almost reached a hand out to feel the cold sheets, reassuring himself that he was alone. But of course, that was pointless. He was alone, and had been for a while. It was time he moved on. However, the green man found it always harder to DO what he merely wanted to do.
Piccolo sighed and let his eyes close again, picturing the way things were, before everything went so horribly wrong.
-
Lile smiled and hugged Piccolo's arm, the other one of which was being used to hold boxes with gifts inside. "Piccolo? Are you sure you want to come here today? I mean, we could just stay home..."
"Nonsense." Piccolo grinned, bending his knees slightly to give his wife a quick kiss on the cheek. "You know I like it here."
Lila nodded and pushed the doorbell of the large house. A few moments later the door opened, revealing an older, strong-looking man with silver hair and cheery eyes.
"Lila...Drills! Come on in, you two must be freezing." Piccolo grinned and stepped in, followed by his spouse. His father-in-law always called him 'Drills'... It was almost a pet name.
"Merry Christmas, Daddy." Lila said, giving her father a hug. Piccolo put the presents down on the entry hall table before he did the same.
"Good to see you, Dad." Piccolo grinned, clapping his father-in-law on the shoulder.
"Drills, same goes for you. Merry Christmas, my boy."
"Rick? Is that them?" A voice called from what sounded like the kitchen.
"Yes, honey! Come on in here, the food won't run away if you leave it alone." Rick called back, winking at his son-in-law.
"Piccolo!" Eve said, running into the dentist's arms. "Oh, goodness. Are you hungry? You look a little thin... It's Lila's cooking, isn't it? Oh, I hope you aren't half starved-"
"No no, it's fine, really." Piccolo grinned.
"Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too, Mom." Lila pouted, making her father chuckle.
"Li-li, don't be sour. Your mom just worries about Drills." Rick slapped Piccolo on the back in a fatherly way. "But wait until you see what Santa brought me. I can safely say I'll be good for a long time. Come on, let's go break 'er in." Piccolo looked to Eve, who nodded and smiled.
"The food needs about forty minutes, anyway."
The older man grinned and steered Piccolo out of the hallway and to the door leading to the basement. He smirked and pointed at the door knob.
"Go on in."
Piccolo opened the door, flicking on the light as he did so. The pair made their way dowstairs, Rick asking various questions about Piccolo's profession, while the dentist gladly responded. When they finally reached the bottom level, Piccolo shook his head in disbelief.
"Lucky... I would kill for one of these babies."
The dentist grinned at the large pool table before him, admiring the new felt and shiny wood that covered it. Rick chuckled and walked to the wall, pulling down two pool sticks.
"Well, how about we try this girl out?"
Piccolo grinned and took the stick. "Sure, if you don't mind loosing your first game with it." Rick snorted and shook his son-in-law's hand.
"You're on, Drills."
After the table was set up and the break was made, Piccolo decided now would be the perfect time to talk to Rick alone, before Lila came down.
"Dad?" Piccolo walked over to the side of the table where Rick was, setting his glass of scotch down gently. "Can I ask you something...personal?"
Rick looked over his shoulder and whispered, "If I say yes, will you not tell Eve I'm smoking?" He already had a cigarette in his hand, and a lighter in the other. "I'm trying to quit... But it's Christmas! I shouldn't have to stress today." He lit it and smiled, waving his hand at Piccolo. "Shoot. What's on your mind, kiddo?"
Piccolo took a breath and leaned against the wall. "Well, I was just wondering if you...Well, if you always knew that you wouldn't have any kids with Eve. I mean, I know you have been around Lila longer than her biological father...But you know what I mean. How did you know that...you didn't want-"
"Piccolo." Rick put his stick down slowly on the table and took the cigarette of of his mouth. "No one can tell you what's right for YOUR family. For Eve and me... We just felt like one child was enough for us. I mean, Lila was a challenge sometimes. It was just something we both agreed on... And that's what makes a marriage tic. You see, Eve and I... We both wanted more kids, in the beginning. But, we learned -together- that this was what we were suited for... A one-child family. We talked about it a lot... Communication. We never held anything back. And I don't have any regrets. We've gotten to live in peace and quiet since Lila went to college... We never needed a babysitter after she was old enough... We got to spend ours years on ourselves. After what Eve has gone through with that schmuck of a husband..." Rick sighed, smiling sadly. "She deserved the time."
Piccolo nodded and turned away slowly. "Thanks. I just... I don't know, it's all kind of scary,isn't it?" He turned around to face Rick again, only to find him grinning largely.
"Drills...that's the best part."
"The best part of what?" Came a young voice, penetrating the men's conversation.
"Nothing, sweetheart." Rick winked at Piccolo. "Is the food already finished?"
"Almost. Mom wants you to help her cut the turkey real quick." Lila smiled and put her hands on her hips. "And she means now, not after you finish your cigarette." Rick groaned and put the little stick in a nearby ashtray.
"Well, I'm caught. You two will be up in a minute, I suppose?" He grinned at Piccolo and headed back up the steps, whistling.
Lila put her arms around Piccolo's neck and nuzzled her nose into his neck. "So what were you guys talking about?" She asked playfully, looking her husband straight in the eyes.
Piccolo stared right back and smiled, showing his shiny canines just a fraction. "Just about the future." He kissed Lila on the nose, making her giggle softly.
"Really? Nothing more?" She brought Piccolo's face slightly closer to her own, smirking roguishly.
"Nothing more? What is more important than the future?" Piccolo asked, but was silenced a second later by his wife's soft lips.
Moments passed until finally the pair broke apart. Lila smiled up at her spouse and said huskily, "The present."
-
Nail slapped Piccolo's head, waking the dentist from his dream.
"Piccolo, wake UP! It's Christmas, man! Come on, I wanna see my presents." Nail ripped off the covers from Piccolo's prone form, making the large man shiver.
"Damn it, Nail... What are you, five?"
Nail gave his brother a noogie and grinned. "Everyone loves today. Get your ass up and get dressed. I want to open presents and then eat."
Piccolo smiled involuntarily and sat up. "Ok, give me a minute, will ya?"
Nail jumped to the ground and smirked. "Sure. Just don't worry about putting on your make-up and fixing your hair. I'M making breakfast."
Piccolo's skin turned a slightly paler hue as he got out of bed. "O-Okay..."
-
Nail and Piccolo sat in the living room, looking at the colored packages that laid around. "Ok ok, me first. I wanna see what the kid got me." Nail said, grabbing the box addressed to him. He snatched off the card and read it silently, nodding his head afterwards. "Aw, that's sweet." He said, handing it to Piccolo, who read it as his brother ripped off the package's paper.
'Dear Nail,
I hope Christmas is full of blessings for you and Piccolo. I myself feel happy, because I have been blessed with two such wonderful friends... Even if they are a bit crazy. Stay well, and Merry Christmas.
Love, Sarah'
Piccolo smiled and looked back at his brother, who was staring in shock at his gift.
"This...is AWESOME." He said in wonder, looking at the enormous beer mug in his hand. It was made like the old legs that one would see in movies, with the metal top to keep precious beer from spilling out the top. And on the handle were the initials 'N.D.' Nail's lip quivered as he looked at his new drinking aid. "I... I'm just so happy." He said, his voice cracking like a 'Miss America' beauty contest winner.
Piccolo raised a brow, smiling. "Wow, bro. I bet you could fit more than two bottles worth of beer in that thing." Nail nodded, hugging the mug tightly.
"I know, it's like a dream come true!" He gave the mug a kiss before setting it aside and picking up Piccolo's gift. He shook it and smiled skeptically. "I don't know, Pic. It seems a little odd to me."
Piccolo shrugged lazily. "Then don't open it."
"Hey hey, I didn't say I didn't want it!" Nail ripped open the paper, screaming with glee a moment later. "The Lord is GOOD! Piccolo, I love you! You got me the Naked NAKED Gun movie set, the best porn EVER... What's this, CUBAN CIGARS! Oh, I love you, you handsome son of a bitch." Nail kissed his brother on the cheek, making the dentist wipe it a second later.
"Well, I couldn't think of anything that would make you more happy, so-"
"Piccolo, I love it. You are the best. Hey, watch this: I'm going to smoke ALL these cigars before today is over."
"Nail, I didn't really have that in-"
But it was too late; Nail already had a cigar clipped and lit, stuck in the corner of his grinning mouth. "This is what Christmas is all about." Nail said, blowing a puff of smoke. "Cigars and tits..." Piccolo twitched and plucked the cigar from Nail's grinning orifice.
"You know I don't like smoking in the house."
"Piccy, I only smoke when I'm drunk and sad." Nail whined, pleaded with his brother. "...And when I get bad-ass presents from my favorite-"
"-And only-"
"Brother." Nail made a shoo-ing gestures to the dentist. "Now, go get me an ashtray, hmm?"
"Get it yourself, I still have to open MY presents." Piccolo said, picking up the one from the kid.
He took off the card and looked at Nail briefly before opening it.
'Dear Piccolo,
I know this time has been hard for you... What with Lila, and work, and Nail... But I wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you, and your happiness. Your brother and I love you, Piccolo Damioh. We'll always be good friends... until you go crazy and kill your patients, ending up in jail with a fat biker named T-Bone and a transvestite called Sally. But... I see that as a long way off, so don't worry. Praying for you always,
Your best pal/ patient- Sarah
P.S.
Don't drop the soap.'
Piccolo's eyes were only half lidded as he read the last few lines of the card. He hated to admit it, but...he did think it was funny. In a sick, warped, dry way... It was funny.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Open the damn thing already!" Nail pushed, pointing at the gift. Piccolo looked down at the package and nodded. He opened the wrapping carefully, making Nail roll his eyes.
"Piccolo, please act like a man and RIP the friggin' paper off."
Piccolo glared at Nail but obliged, ripping off the remainder of the wrapping. His fingers enclosed around the box, feeling it's weight. He opened the package and looked inside, immediately spotting something red and lacy. He grunted and pulled out a womanish-man thong, with the word 'STUD' written in flowy letters on the front. Nail held his laughter...for about three seconds, before promptly breaking down and laughing himself silly.
"Woo, hey Stud, wanna model for us?" Nail said, whipping out a camera and taking a picture of Piccolo holding the underwear. The dentist merely blinked before tossing the sexy piece of clothing at his brother. He looked further in the box and raised a brow. There, lying in bubble wrap, was a small figurine of a woman holding pincers. Piccolo unwrapped the bubble wrap and read the note attached to the object.
'This is Saint Appoline. I thought she could be your 'patron saint', because she is the saint of dentistry... I'm not bullshitting. See, after her teeth were broken in with pliers (can you say ONE tough lady?)by the bad guys, she was given a choice: She could burn to death or denounce Christ. She chose the previous, jumping into the flames and being burned alive --by herself (bad ASS). Maybe it's a coincidence that I stumbled across this... But I just thought you should know that there IS a saint for dentists, and that God loves you. Merry Christmas, buddy.'
Piccolo blinked and handed the note to Nail, who grinned. "That kid... She's in a world of her own." He shook his head an pointed at the box. "Piccy, I think they is something still in there." Piccolo blinked and looked inside, indeed seeing two objects. The first was a bottle of pain killer. The second was a book entitled, 'Begging Forgiveness Without Sounding like a Pussy.'
Nail chuckled and nodded. "I think all of those things will come in handy. Here, open mine. You'll love it." Piccolo picked up the box from Nail and opened it, knowing there wasn't a card. They had agreed long ago that cards were for women.
"Wow, a box full of ...condoms. Well, thanks Nail, I don't...know what to say except-" Piccolo slapped his brother across the head, growling, "You are a jackass."
"Hey, hey! That was a joke...sorta. The REAL gift is in the envelope." Piccolo raised a brow and ripped open the little red paper envelope.
"Hey... What's this?" Piccolo asked quietly, looking at the contents.
"It's great, bro! I got you and a friend- a.k.a. me- tickets to a show! This shit is amazing! You'll be on the edge of your seat the whole night, it's awesome."
"...A show? Like...like a musical?" Piccolo asked, sounding confused.
"Yeah, of course brother! And trust me, it is definitely worth it. It's a special Christmas thing, only open tonight. Real exclusive, and we'll BE there!" Nail patted his brother on the back. "Now, you hungry? Because I'm going to cook a meal you'll never forget."
-
Piccolo held onto the seat of the toilet as his stomach violently relieved its contents again. He sat down on the tiled floor, a sweat breaking out at the temples. He wouldn't EVER forget that meal, THAT was for sure. Nail was, by far, the WORST cook ever. Piccolo groaned and put a hand on his stomach. He felt five years drop off his life span just thinking about it.
"Pic, bud, you ok?" Nail asked, knocking on the door.
"NO, what the hell were you trying to do, kill me?"
Nail opened the door and came in, pouting. "Bro, if I wanted to kill you I'd use my hands. I mean, come on... It wasn't THAT bad, was it?"
Piccolo's body convulsed, making him vomit into the john again. Nail swallowed nervously and backed out of the bathroom slowly.
'Hmm, maybe it was.'
-
"Well, I'm sorry about the food, ok? I really had forgotten that you were allergic to that one spice... My bad. But still, you ARE feeling better, right?"
Piccolo shook a couple of pain killers out of the bottle from Sarah and nodded. "The headache should go away soon."
Nail looked a little sad. "Well, I hope you can still enjoy yourself tonight..." He snapped his fingers a moment later, looking inspired. "Hey, I know! How about this: You can drink all you want tonight, and I won't touch a DROP of anything? Eh? I can drive the whole night, without worrying about a cab...or a DWI."
Piccolo raised a brow. "Uh, that's great and all, but I don't know if-"
"Oh, it'll be fine!" Nail said, waving it off. "Besides, after last time, I don't think I'll ever drink again." Piccolo looked at his twin skeptically.
"I'm sure."
-
"Nail, it's a bit warm in here, don't you think?" Piccolo asked his brother, loosening his tie. So far, the place was crowded, packed full of people.
"Yeah, but hey...We got front row seats, eh?" Nail grinned and poked his brother. "So how does that taste, eh?"
Piccolo looked at the Charlie in his hand. "Not bad... In fact, I really like it. I think I'll take another." He grinned at his brother, who merely shrugged.
"Well, it's your night, good buddy. Oh yeah, if you don't mind telling me... What DID you get Iris?"
Piccolo sighed and smiled, leaning back in his chair. He had previously dropped off Iris's gift at her house, leaving it in the mail box. He wasn't sure if she had family over or not, and didn't want to intrude. Just the same, he didn't want her to feel like he had forgotten about her...
"I got her perfume and chocolates." He said honestly, the alcohol making his speech a bit blunt.
"Wow, a real Don Juan." He checked his watch and grinned. "Show should start in about five minutes."
Piccolo nodded and signalled to a waitress for another round. He frowned a moment later, noticing something odd.
"Nail... That's waitress's skirt-"
"Shh, I hear them backstage. I think they're about to open the curtain!"
Piccolo wanted to say more, but two more drinks were shoved in front of him.
"Wow, that was fast..."
"Piccolo, it's starting!" Nail said with excitement, sounding like... A kid at Christmas.
"Yay." Piccolo downed the first drink and let his gaze wander to the stage. "What kind of show is-"
"Shhh!"
The curtain opened, revealing a young woman dressed in the mood of Mrs. Claus. She was followed by another person wearing Santa's attire, minus the beard. Piccolo dimly noticed how attractive the woman was for the first time. His gaze travelled around the room slowly, and somewhere in his brain, something was deemed not quite right.
Music started up to the familiar tune of 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas', followed by the voices of the two people on stage. Piccolo dully realized that the voices were BOTH female.
"Nail..." He said, the missing piece finally coming to him. "Why are there only men in the audience?"
The music turned instantly from soft, traditional family tunes to hard pumping techno, making the dentist's eyes widen.
"N-nail?"
Nail's head was moving in the beat to the music already, a grin spreading across his face. "Just be quiet, bro."
Piccolo's eyes darted to the stage, where he watched in shock as 'Santa' ripped off his costume, revealing a thin (but greatly endowed) young woman. A skimpy red bikini lined with white fur barely covered her more discreet areas, making Piccolo pale slightly.
"Nail, I can't be here... Someone might see me!"
"Yeah, and?" Nail's head stopped nodding to the music. "Think about it, Piccolo, my dear brother. If they see you HERE, what does that say about them?"
"But I'm not a pervert, I should really-"
"Sit down and shut up." Nail grinned, pointing to Piccolo's left over shot. "Drink that. I'll order you another." Piccolo tried to protest but Nail had already signalled to the waitress again. Piccolo shook his head, letting it rest afterwards in his hands.
"I am a bad person..." He drank his remaining drink and sighed. "But, at least I'm not alone." Nail nodded and slapped the dentist on the back.
"That's right, buddy... We're all in this together. Woo, take it OFF, honey!" Nail yelled suddenly to the stage, clapping along with the other men. Piccolo shook his head and sighed.
'Some things never change.' He was smiling though, watching his brother's antics. 'But sometimes...That's a good thing.'
-
Oh, I wanted to address ONE point made by you, Dbz Chicka. I stick firm to the belief that these kids with nice parents turn out to be assholes because: They have nice parents. I mean, I love my parents... But my mom wasn't afraid to put the law down when my ass got out of line. I really don't think that you can grow up without getting smacked around. I really didn't even get it from my mom...Except in church. Every other time, my siblings beat my ass. Kids, THAT'S the reason these one-child rich family kids are shit heads. They never had anyone to decently slap some sense into them. That said, thanks again for reading, and have a nice day.
Oh yeah. I AM SWITCHING FAMILIES NOW, SO I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHEN I WILL BE ABLE TO UPDATE NEXT. My only time bracket is, at the latest, three or so months, IF MY INTERNET IS CRAPPY. Otherwise... I'll try and work my ass off for you people. Take it easy.