Chapter Twenty
For You To Notice Me
Malfoy paced nervously in the common room waiting impatiently for me. When I finally walked out, he stopped breathing i believe. Dressed completely in white I was amazed that we matched. My dress reaching my feet where again i was wearing my glass slippers. It had no straps and my hair was curly and loose around my shoulders a white and silver ribbon tied in a band around my head alike to Alice in Wonderland's. In his hand, he held a white Magnolia. he tied the corsage to my wrist loosely and we walked in silence to the great hall. I felt relieved but saddened i thought that this would probably be the last chance i had to reconcile with him and no matter how badly i wanted to say something I just could not find the words to say to him.
We walked quietly into the hall together and after fulfilling our traditional first dance parted ways quickly.
"Blimey Hermoine, you look better every time we have some of these shindigs," Ron embraced me tightly.
"Yeah but this will be the last that we'll all attend together."
"Don't remind me," Ron grimaced.
"You look nice Ron where's the date?"
"Here's your butterbeer Ronnibubbles," Neville said as if on cue passing him a butterbeer with a wink.
"Thanks Nevillepettle," he replied blushing into his butterbeer.
"Ronnibubbles? Nevillepettle?" i asked raising an eyebrow at their ridiculous pet nicknames as Neville passed me a butterbeer.
'Don't ask. Would you like a little nip in your butterbeer?" he answered brandishing a small flask full of fire whiskey.
"I'll think I'll pass thanks," i declined politely.
Malfoy stood nervously alone trying to decide if he should come and talk to me. Just as he plucked up the courage, a new guy would come along as ask me to dance and even though some persisted i always declined happy to sit with my best friend and his date, dashing his courage, of course not were slytherin were known for. This time when Blaise Zambini asked me to dance with him i looked past him and caught Malfoy staring uncomfortably. He held my gaze and finally i could not hold it any longer and i looked away blushing. I told Blaise i was flattered but preferred not to dance, as I had no energy after last night's party. I did not notice nor did i count on Ron catching the momentary glance between Malfoy and I and god bless his soul decided to take Neville for a turn on the dance floor.
Ron danced his way over to Malfoy not thinking i had noticed and nudged him though i did not hear what he had whispered to him I could get the idea.
"You know that's she's waiting for you to ask her to dance again and if you know her like I do you'll know she doesn't like to wait and after a while she'll just stop waiting. Who knows with summer coming some guy might sweep her off her feet and she might let him and then she will just throw away real love... Malfoy don't give me that look i saw the way you took look at each other there is an electric connection there.. anyway, as I was saying, she will throw real love away to just wear a mask and pretend to be happy and if she has to wear that mask all her life, she will just crack one day and I do not know how I will cope when she cracks. She has been my rock since year one. Go take a chance Malfoy." Ron encouraged, "You'll never get a chance like right now."
Plucking up all his courage Malfoy finally made his way over to me.
"May I have this dance?" I sat there silent for a moment calculating my answer in my head.
"You mean Ron spent all that time talking to you and that's the best you got?"
"Just shut up and dance with me Granger."
"All right all right, gees didn't anyone ever tell you patience is a virtue?" He bowed low to me as i curtsied.
See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
I danced silently until finally he spoke to me.
"Hermoine what can i do to make it up to you? To prove how much you really mean to me?"
"Malfoy you already know, i have told you before. I need to trust you; i need to know how you feel."
"Dammnit Hermoine I've already told you how I feel."
"But why Malfoy? I need to know why me? Off all the girls why me? I can't make it cause i know you're going to hurt me again and don't say you wont Malfoy because i know you will. I just can't do us."
"Please Hermoine he took my hand as i had begun to walk away, "give me one chance, until midnight, if i can't trust me and you don't know why by then, I'll let you go. I just don't know if i could ever be without you!"
Slight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails, she makes me wait
And I wait without you
"Can I think about it?"
"Sure," he let my arm go and went and got himself a pumpkin juice before going to stand alone outside as the clock struck ten.
With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
Once Malfoy had gone outside i helped myself to another butterbeer and sat down to think.
'You
really love him don't you?'
'Shut up brain... Hang on even my
brain agrees?'
'Harry would have wanted this.'
'but i can just hate him so much sometimes.'
'but what is love without hate to make you see the love you have?'
'Oh great I'm arguing with myself this Malfoy is making me crazy.'
'Don't deny him the chance if it doesn't work you can get on with your life without ever having to think what if?'
'Sounds reasonable.'
'Then what are you waiting for? go over there give him his chance.'
'patience is a virtue he made me wait now i will make him wait.'
'Do it now!"
'shut up brain i give the orders around here'
'oh really?' it asked sarcastically like it didn't believe me... get that my own brain didn't believe me.
'yes now shut up.'
'yes madam.'
Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you
Malfoy stood outside gazing at the stars and the moon trying to think of how to win my heart when he realized he had known all along and she had told him long ago repeatedly how to win her heart. Apart from that he decided to play it by ear.
I waited until the clock had stuck 11 before i made my way towards him.
"Have you reached a decision?" he asked me as i approached.
"Yes Malfoy, you have an hour to convince me."
"Accio broom," i raised my eyebrows as his firebolt 07 made its way towards him.
"i hate flying," i stated the obvious;" I've told you that."
"if i have to gain your trust you must give me a little of it."
With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
"All right then," I got on the broom and held on tightly. Malfoy got on behind me and put his hands on top of mine.
"Loosen up a little, i can't control this if you try and steer it with that death grip trust me." I loosened my grip as told, "thanks that's heaps better." I felt my feet lift off the ground and i sealed my eyes shut tightly until finally we came to a stop in mid air.
"You can open your eyes now, you're safe, and I won't let you fall." Slowly i pried one eye open and then gradually the other until i was staring wide eyed at the breathtaking scene before me.
And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give And you give
And you give yourself away
"It doesn't matter what you do for a living,
i want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.
It doesn't interest me to know how old you are,
I want to know if you will risk looking a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon,
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and cold from fear of further pain.
i want to know if you can sit with sorrow, mine and your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine and your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true,
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusations of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failures, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver moon "Yes!"
it doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have,
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done and feed the children.
It doesn't interest me where you live or how you came to be here,
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied,
I want to know what sustains you form the inside when all else fades away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments," He whispered into my ear as we floated about the school alight with students celebrating some never returning and others returning the next year for their final year and others who would return for many more.
My hands are tied My body bruised,
she's got me with Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose
"Hermoine I love you because even when i was shouting no one ever heard me, no one ever listened they were all clones who behaved how they are told to behave not to like who they were told not to like and to like who they were told to like. No one noticed me out of all these clones. You broke down those boundaries for me, for ME! The ferret, son of a death eater who called you mudblood and made your life uncomfortable. I knew like i knew no one else and you were the one person that society said i should have never known. I can't help but admire your courage and your strength and your will to carry on when everything seems so hopeless. If I told you all of the reasons why I love you, we would be here for decades even centuries. I just know i love you because you noticed me when no one else did."
And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away
With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
With or without you
I was stunned to silence in an hour Malfoy had figured out exactly how to put his heart on the line. We floated there in silence the only thing that told us the difference between the stars in the sky and the stars on the ground was gravity and he held me tight not once letting me fall.
"We should be getting back i said finally." I couldn't help this nagging feeling inside of me that i would only get hurt again but the whole way back not once did i shut my eyes and the world went past as if a blur until finally my feet were back on solid ground.
"Malfoy..."
"Yes Hermoine." He looked so hopeful but so devastated as though he already knew what o was about to say.
"Ever since that first day this year you noticed me but i never really noticed you and i never thought about why you acted this way and I feel so sorry about your sister and your parents and your entire life and i just wish it could have been better and most of all i wish i could make it all better with a flick of my wand but i know there is nothing i can do to make it better no matter how much i wish it to be so."
"Hermoine?"
"I'm sorry, so sorry Malfoy." He looked at me and he looked torn between love, honour, and pride. He did not want to betray his word t me but he was willing to risk looking a fool for love. He looked at the clock frantic.
"I have five more minutes."
"Why waste the time Malfoy."
"Cause every second with you is precious five last minutes with you that is all i ask. Please give me these last five minutes of your time."
"Well i guess i did say until 12."
I allowed Malfoy to lead me to the dance floor and wrapped me in his arms.
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming
and you'd want to call me
The only sounds i could hear was the music and his voice singing the words softly against the beating of his heart. He looked at her and it was clear in his mind and no matter how tacky it may seem he had to say he had to tell her how he really felt inside and the passion she ignited in him.
And I would be there every time
you'd need me
I'd be there every time...
Hermoine, you make my hands shake and leave me speechless with a single look. All i know was when I was screaming and no one heard, you noticed me. You heard it loud and clear. You listened and you learned. I love that you are always learning and well love can hurt you sometimes but would never leave you. I always thought my life never had a purpose but now i know that my purpose in life is you. And if you could notice me before I am begging you to notice me again.
'He has a good argument.'
'I thought i told you to shut up?'
'If you let this man go you'll be miserable for the rest of your life just tell him how you feel!' My hands were sweaty and my pulse raced. Dared I risk my pride for love?
But for now I'll look so longingly
waiting...
For you to want me, for you to need me, for you to notice me
"You take my breath away just by breathing yourself and so long as you breathe and so much longer after that I will always love you." The clock struck twelve and Malfoy looked at me anxiously.
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming
and you'd want to call me
Slowly i inched my face towards him and shut my eyes as he did the same to me and ever so slowly our faces came ever closer our breath mingling with the others.
And I would be there every time
You'd need me
I'd be there every time...
"I love you Malfoy now cut the crap and kiss me already," I whispered onto his lips.
"I love you too Granger." Then he put his arm around my waist before finally he pulled his lips in to meet mine.
Ronnibubbles raised his hand and brought them together in celebration of the couple finally finding love letting go of their pasts, and their pride to give love a try. Before long the whole room was filled with applause including slytherin many of the girls wiping a tear from their eyes at the romantic love story.
Finally, we breathed for air but never did he let me go.
"Do you wanna go and check out our dorm for one last visit as students?" i asked with a wink of my own. His face looked bewildered at my proposal.
"Are you for real?" he looked at me as if i was crazy. I nodded my head and pulled him out of the Great Hall and into our future together.
The End!