Although Grace's fear for her father was great, she would do all she could to support her mother and the younger children during the days ahead.
PART EIGHT: WAITING, BUT NOT ALONE
In efficient fashion, paper products were placed in the family room and both children and adults were served pizza and beverages. Daniel had clearly ordered enough food to feed the assembled group plus their sorely missed members. 'Must have been wishful thinking, Danny boy', he silently chided himself.
During the meal Janet kept a close eye on Sam who made an unsuccessful effort to eat something and participate in the conversation of her two youngest. Jon and Beth, still not aware of the seriousness of the situation, were fully confident that their father would be made well and returned to them soon. And so, before their bedtime they were excitedly making plans for how to welcome their father home.
"Okay, everyone; looks like its time to clean up and get some young people ready for bed", Janet announced.
"But Aunt Janet, Jon is going to help me make a get-well card for Daddy. We're going to send it to the hospital", Beth pleaded in a slightly whiny tone.
Sam closed her eyes tightly for just a moment, an expression not missed by Jake. Her eldest son placed his hand gently on her arm in sympathy.
"Aunt Janet, Jake and I will help the kids get ready for bed", Grace volunteered. "And we can help with the card too. Maybe even some computer graphics from Star Trek".
"Thanks honey". Sam had to smile wistfully as she was reminded of how well the twins knew their father.
All four children vanished much more rapidly than usual, the eldest trying especially hard to be helpful and relieve as much worry as possible from their mother. This left Janet and Sam to clean up the remains of the meal, while Daniel changed little Ethan.
Putting the leftovers away, Sam burst into tears. Janet reached her quickly and pulled her into a hug. "Hey…?"
"I'm sorry, it's just Daniel ordered lots of Jack's favorite pizza; nobody else likes it. Isn't that ridiculous, I'm crying because of anchovy pizza! You know, I think Jack used to order anchovies just to annoy me. Right about now I'd do anything for him to be around to annoy me". Sam looked up at Janet with a half hearted smile and added, "I think I'm going to be crying over silly things like pizza for awhile, Janet."
Janet felt her friend begin to sag against her and helped her into a kitchen chair. "It's okay, honey, you've got every right to cry. I just wish I could make it better."
"I miss him so much. I never knew I could hurt this badly. I left him there, Janet. What if he needs me? He never really thought we should go on this mission. I told him it would be okay." At this, Sam covered her face with her hands, sobbing in earnest and laying her head on the table.
"Sam, none of this is your fault. Jack would be furious if he thought you were going to beat up on yourself for leaving. You know I'm right. As for coming home to the kids, that is exactly what he would have wanted you to do."
Sam looked intently into the eyes of her good friend, as if to judge the sincerity of her remarks. "Janet, I waited so long to be with Jack. I loved him so much even way back at the beginning. It scared me. The thought of what would happen if I ever lost him frightened me so much I wasn't willing to take a chance. I didn't want to risk hurting like I do now."
Janet just continued to watch her friend and nodded, with a gentle smile.
"The kids are wonderful, aren't they, Janet? They're so much like Jack, resourceful, determined, and so full of love. I don't know how to help them through this right now. How do I help them live with the loss of their father when I don't know how I'm going to live with it?"
"Honey, those kids are here now because you and Jack finally got over your fears about each other. The kids have all those wonderful traits because of both of you. The strength for the next step will come, Sam, the strength will come. And your friends will be with you."
In the den, Daniel had just placed Ethan in the portable playpen he'd brought with him for the night when the phone rang. It was the SGC. "Dr. Jackson, I'm calling to check on Colonel Carter. How is she holding up, son?"
"Actually, as well as could be expected, sir. Any word from SG3?"
"I'm afraid not. Shortly after you came through the Gate, SG 7 was sent through to provide backup. Their assignment was to secure the gate. They've been unable to contact SG3 for scheduled check-ins since they first arrived. At first, it was assumed they'd gone silent to avoid alerting any remaining Jaffa, but something isn't right. I've just given SG7 permission to begin a search of the immediate area. So far, Teal'c and SG3 seem to have vanished. It doesn't look good; I don't want anyone getting their hopes up about the mission or about Jack's return at this point."
"Understood, General. But don't count Jack O'Neill out just yet."
Sam walked into the den just as Daniel was finishing the call. "Who was it, Daniel? Is there any word?"
Daniel wished he could offer positive news, but settled for the truth. "That was General Hammond. SG7 lost contact with Teal'c and SG3 shortly after they arrived on the planet. They're starting a search."
Sam closed her eyes, sighed deeply, and walked silently from the room.