As he sprinted over to Teal'c, intent on reminding him to be sure the message was sent to Sam through the gate ASAP, he heard Reynolds' expletive, "Damn it, we can't get a message through, there's something blocking our transmission".

PART 10: A SLEEPLESS NIGHT

Sam had tried to sleep. She would lie in bed for up to an hour at a time, convincing herself that she needed the rest. When she closed her eyes, she would see Jack and feel him all around her in their bed. In itself this was a comforting sensation, yet it only served to remind her that Jack was not with her, that she was not in his arms and, in all likelihood, would never have that feeling of safety and contentment again.

So, within five minutes of closing her eyes, Sam Carter, who'd blown up a sun, survived torture by at least four alien species and saved the planet on multiple occasions, was once again in tears. Finally she gave up, pulled herself out of bed, and walked out to the deck off the family room. She settled in Jack's chair just behind his telescope and began to look at the stars.

It was a lovely clear, crisp autumn night. Sam had found herself in exactly the same position most of last night as well. Somehow she felt closer to him, out here looking at the stars. She could tell you in light years how far away he was, but the science of it all didn't really matter right now.

This was her second night staying alone with the children since she'd come home from P3X-779. Daniel and Janet had stayed, along with little Ethan, the first two nights. They were such good friends; she didn't know how she and the children would have made it through without them.

Janet had offered her some medication to help her sleep. "Safe and effective" she'd advertised. Sam had turned it down, just like she'd turned down the temptation to develop a love affair with Guinness, Jack's favorite sedative before their marriage, the past few nights. She needed to have her wits about her to deal with all of this and especially to be there for the children whenever they needed her. Sleep would happen when it happened; it's not like she hadn't been up working through the night before. In fact, those times had most often been times Jack had been missing …

Sam had been so deep into her thoughts, that she never heard Jake open the sliding glass door behind her.

"Mom, I thought you'd be cold out here."

Slightly startled, Sam turned to see here son, looking so much like his father tonight, holding the well worn afghan Sam often wrapped around herself on nights like these.

Jake moved to lay the afghan on his mother's shoulders. Then he sat silently beside her.

"Thank you, Jake. That was very thoughtful of you. Can't you sleep either?"

"I just keep having dreams about Dad and the Stargate. There are a lot of images that I don't understand. Sometimes I see Dad hurt and sick and other times he looks like he always does. Tonight, was the strangest one yet. I dreamt I was on the planet with him. Is he coming back, Mom?"

"I hope so, Jake, but I just don't know." Both mother and son lapsed into silence for a few moments, before Jake renewed the conversation.

"Did you know I asked Melissa to go to the dance next week?"

"What?" Sam asked, more than a little confused about where this conversation was going.

"I mean I asked Melissa if she'd dance with me at the school dance Friday. You know, Mom, eighth grade and all, I want to be sure somebody will dance with me if I go to those things."

Sam turned to her son with a soft, gentle smile. "And your Dad's been teaching you to dance for the occasion, hasn't he?"

"Yep, he has. He's been teaching me a lot of things."

"Hmm..?"

"Well actually, you've both been teaching me for a long time. You know, about caring for people, about love and family."

Here come the tears again, Sam chided herself.This was her firstborn son, handsome and brilliant, so terribly afraid of being a geek, and sensitive beyond his years.

"So what have you learned so far, Jake?"

"Well, I know that when I'm older Ineed to find someone to love the way Dad loves you. I've been watching the two of you, especially the last year or so. You are just so much in love… even now, you know, when you're older… well a little older… but it doesn't seem to matter, your age that is."

Sam found herself almost chuckling at her son's innocent reference to their ages, remembering when age had been such an obstacle to their relationship, at least from Jack's point of view. Thanks to past trips to sarcophagi and healings he'd received from the Asgard, Jack was much less bothered, physically and emotionally, by his age. This weekend, in fact, Jack and Jake had been registered for a father/son basketball tournament. Jake was quite proud of the fact that with his Dad on board, his team was undefeated.

"Mom?" Jake's voice drew Sam back from her reverie. "You okay?"

"Yes, Jake. Thank you, sweetheart."

Jake flinched, just a little, at the use of the endearment he thought he'd broken his mother of at least a year ago. "For what, Mom?"

"For reminding me of everything we've had these past few years and how grateful I am for my wonderful family."

"You know our family really is different, Mom. Most of my friends in school talk a lot about how their parents are always arguing. Some even ask me what it's like to live with both a mom and a dad. My friend Matt, his mom and dad just divorced. He says all they do is say really mean things to each other, almost all the time now. How does that happen? I sure hope that doesn't happen to me when I get married. I thought people were supposed to love one another before they made kids."

By now, Sam knew she was simply staring at Jake; she could have sworn he was channeling his father. A couple of years ago, Jack and Sam had decided it was time they sat the twins down for what Jack referred to as "the birds and the bees talk". Sam smiled to herself as she recalled how he thought they were going to do this together. She had quickly informed him that she would talk with Grace and he would have 'the talk' with their son. Jack reluctantly agreed with a look of great pain on his face. But true to his word, just two days after their discussion, she'd walked by Jake's room and heard Jack's voice speaking quietly to their son explaining important concepts of being a man, not just sex. The phrase that stuck in her head from that day was 'be sure you really love the woman, like for always, before you make kids with her'.

"Jake, you're absolutely right, that's exactly how it's supposed to work. And if our world was perfect, it would always work like that. But people do things for all sorts of reasons. All you can do is be sure you live your life for the right reasons and find the right person to live it with. I almost didn't do that."

"What? I thought you always loved Dad."

"You thought right, Jake. I certainly did, I just didn't know how to handle it at first. I almost married someone else even after I knew I was in love with your father."

"So how did you two figure it out?"

"Jake, I'm not really sure, but I'm forever grateful that we did. Once we 'figured it out' we knew how right it was. We've had some rough times like everyone else, but I don't think we've ever questioned our decision to be together."

"I hope Dad comes back soon, Mom. I really miss him."

Sam reached over and covered her son's hand with her own. This was their son, now so much on the verge of becoming a man, and so in need of his father. "Me too, Jake," she answered, "me too."