Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter
Chapter 14: So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersen, Goodbye!
Dumbledore returned. Finally. Now all that was left to do was get rid of Umbridge, which Dumbledore did not do. Because he left again the following day, on Horcrux business, he left the sorting out of the castle to his deputy headmistress, Minerva McGonagall.
So you see, reader, Dumbledore is entirely useless in this story, because he is always off, searching for fragments of Voldemort's soul. Dear, dear.
So…Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Harry were back to Square One.
And Fred and George were gone, thus putting them back a little bit.
Ginny went back to plotting again.
She came up with some extremely unrealistic ideas, like…
Pushing Umbridge into the lake and making it look like an accident
Luring her out of the castle by leaving candy and cake strewn out in a path…to the Forest
Scaring her out of the castle
Not bloody likely she thought. And she was right.
So, Ginny resorted to the old standby…something I like to call DKL
Drug, Kidnap, and Leave
The Drugging part went pretty well.
Hermione remembered second year—how she filled two chocolate cakes with Sleeping Draught and planted them for Crabbe and Goyle—how the greedy pigs stuffed themselves with them—thus, Harry and Ron had enough time to "become" Crabbe and Goyle to interrogate Draco about his alleged connection to the Chamber of Secrets.
Draco was, of course, the friend of the entire gang and was in on the DKL. Hermione pulled another Hermione—filling each chocolate of a whole box with a sufficient amount of Sleeping Draught to put Umbridge out for eighteen hours.
Of course, Draco was conveniently never told of Harry and Ron's impersonation of his two former best friends; Hermione had "forgotten" to tell him about their thing with snooping in earlier years.
Draco left the box of chocolates at Umbridge's door (a note was signed, "Love from Pansy" and decorated with little hearts, courtesy of Ginny, who also stole some of Pansy's well-known, sickly-sweet perfume, which, of course, scented the paper, to prevent any choice of discovery).
And (A/N: OOC moment here; deal with it; I like it that way, sorry for the rudeness) some of the professors who had been driven near madness by Umbridge's foully simpering manner were in on the DKL as well.
The Transfiguration teacher saw Hermione with the Sleeping Draught and chocolates, and asked what on earth she was doing. She approved, upon hearing the reason (Hermione was too tired to make up a sufficient lie). Professor McGonagall knew that she would feel guilty in some forty years, should she ever meet Umbridge again, but until that happened…
Professor Flitwick was sick and tired of Umbridge constantly giggling and tittering about his unfortunate vertical challenge, so to speak, that he was only to glad to help the group (he discovered it by chance, when Hermione and Ron were talking about it in class and he desired to know "what was so interesting that was keeping them from practicing the Wind Charm," he'd set them. Don't you hate it when teachers do that?).
Professor Sprout hated Umbridge's condescending looks at her flyaway hair. At least my hair isn't mouse brown, streaked with grey. She caught Draco putting the chocolates at the door. When she saw the note, she put the two together and burst out laughing, promising to help.
Umbridge, stupidly, ate each chocolate, offering some to the teachers, them stuffing her face. She was soon out like a light.
Drugging finished.
The Kidnapping went fairly well. McGonagall Conjured ropes out of nothing, binding Umbridge (who did not, and would not, wake). Just in case, you know?
Flitwick Moved Umbridge with the Locomotor Charm.
He floated her out of the castle…way, way away.
McGonagall had a Portkey ready (one of Dumbledore's socks; she didn't think he'd mind) and placed that right next to Umbridge with her own Locomotor Charm.
"Three, Two, One…"
Umbridge spun out of sight.
Draco, Hermione, Ginny, Ron, and Harry stared at the teachers in shock. They grinned at the students (little scary) who stared back in awe. And shock.
Ginny spoke. "Where'd you send her, Professor?"
McGonagall gave another wry smile. "Oh, somewhere where she won't get back too easily. Or want to."
With that, the teachers left the students at the doorway of the Entrance Hall.
Ron broke the silence.
"Wonder where she sent her."
The next day, Umbridge woke up in the London Zoo, where some very rude monkeys pulled her hair and threw peanut shells at her as she ran and screamed.
A/N: I don't think I've finished yet. I want to do some sort of epilogue, so this chapter isn't quite the end yet. Je vais mettre le chapter la semaine prochaîne.