A. N. So here we go again, another chapter of mind numbing confusion. Actually, this doesn't solve much, but it does keep the story going, and this incredibly long day is finally coming to an end. Well, soon anyway. I noticed that alot of people are confused with Gravis and Faith's relationship. Hmm. Make it what you want it to be. These are Buffy's thoughts and she doesn't know either, so... No inside scoop for you! Mwah ha! I am the inside scoop Nazi! Mwah ha! Just try to stop me. Okay... that was... uncalled for and totally crazy. Sorry. Here's the deal, or as Faith would say, sitch. Gravis and Faith are basically the same types of people (although he is quite a nice guy). They're just (as I've explained to some of you) happy go lucky. They roll with the punches. And it works for them. They're secure. And come on. They're both hot and they know it.
A. N. 2. I've taken a few liberties here. Argh! Okay, so Faith is from Boston, and her last name was recently revealed as Lehane, so I guess it's not a far cry to suppose that maybe she's got some Irish blood... Also, I've eliminated Kennedy from the new Scoobs, because, well, I didn't really gel to her. Hmm... what else? Maybe just two chapters left after this one, including an epilogue. So, I've got another cameo in this chap, because I couldn't fit everyone in the last chap, as hard as I tried. Slipped in a few ED references that should be easy to find for all the ED fans out there. No cameos awarded tho, as I fear everyone will find these. Anyway, I've yapped enough. Happy reading!
Trace -- buffymorpher2000
A few weeks after Terry was born, Faith called Andrew over to baby-sit and dragged me out of the house to have a night of fun. Christmas had been nice but busy as everything and everyone had somehow ended up at our place for the holidays. So a few days after Christmas, Faith and I ended up in an Irish pub with a plan to rid my growing cabin fever.
After we had a few shots and pints, Faith got up and led me to the smallish—but deserted—dance floor, and started to go all Michael Flatley on me, minus the tapping.
"Where the hell did you learn that?" I asked, clearly impressed. I really was.
She grabbed my hand and made me twirl with the beat of the music.
"Song's called Fairytale of New York, and every self respected kid from Boston with Irish blood should know it." She explained, pulling me close and hopping to the edge of the floor and back. "Dance moves just come with it." She added with a growing smile, making me twirl again. "When Teresa's old enough, I'll make sure she knows it too."
That's when I knew Faith would be—against all odds—an excellent mother. Guess I was a little off the track of reason. Or drunk. Whatever. Same diff.
Faith hikes her knee up to create a little more pressure, which in turn makes me groan, and thus, snaps me back to reality, and the present.
Whoa Nelly. I pull back for some much needed air and study her carefully. When I see her now, I wonder how I could've let her walk away. She's so damn easy to look at. She's sporting her 'I want you' look, looking all hot and bothered, eyes heavy with want. It's good to know I still got 'it'.
And suddenly, a very pertinent question floods my mind.
"What?" She breathes, brushing away a strand of my hair. "What's wrong?"
What? What's wrong? Time to voice that question, I suppose.
"The hell are we doing?" I manage, as I pull my face away, somewhat reluctantly. "Gravis and Terry are waiting for us."
Her breath gets caught in her throat as she—I think—snaps out of it too.
"I know. But I'm not the one humping my leg."
She thrusts her knee up a bit more to prove her point and smiles languidly as my eyes go wide when I realize I'm practically saddled on her leg. Heat of the moment, my ass.
So I jump off, as gracefully as I can, and straighten my shirt with my now sweaty hands.
"Been awhile?" She asks, not with cockiness, as I would've thought, but with the barest hint of concern.
"How long have we been in here?" I ask: A poor attempt to change the subject.
Faith cocks her head and checks her watch.
"Few minutes."
Feels like hours. Both of us end up in front of the mirror, tidying ourselves up as best we can when suddenly, my mouth starts playing tricks on me again.
"Do you really miss me?"
"Buffy." It's a feral plea and it makes my knees quiver.
"Do you?" I pursue.
"Don't you?"
Argh! Why is it that Faith and I can never ever have a revealing conversation without the word games? I swear, she makes me so… barmy.
"Faith. Don't do this. Not now."
Her eyes narrow as she nods. The half nod again.
"I'm not the one who left. I don't have two jobs, working six days a week. I didn't quit drinking. I didn't find Mr. Perfect. I didn't leave, Faith. I didn't. I'm still right here. So you can stop… humbling me."
We stare at each other through the mirror until she looks away, whispering my name softly.
"Buffy." It's so soft and… perfect. The way it should be said. But I'm still way too mad to fall for it.
"Oh, fuck me; we're going to talk until we say something." I warn, pleadingly. "I have a right to know, damnit."
"Okay." She murmurs. "Tonight."
"Tonight! Faith, Teresa and I are going to be long gone by tonight."
And then, just like that, I loose the upper hand I had gained, only a few moments ago.
"Fine. You wanna talk? Let's talk. Cause, God knows, everything that needs to be said can be said in a matter of seconds." She bites back sarcastically. "And I really feel like doing that with a mob of angry women banging on the door."
She doesn't spare me another look before she unlocks the door and swings it open. There are about a dozen women standing, waiting to come in, including the one who went to fetch some ice.
Faith walks out and I can't help but follow her back to our table before accepting an ice pack. Ter and Gravis are drawing on brown paper. They both look up and give us toothy grins. Okay, this guy has got me. Hooked.
"We didn't know what you wanted so we ordered the family sized fajita platter." He says.
Family.
"Great." Faith says, suddenly full of enthusiasm. "What are you guys drawing?" She asks, taking a seat.
Terry's eyes beam when she looks up.
"A castle taken under siege by vampires." She explains casually, and it just hits me now how cool Ter seems to be with Faith.
Faith smiles as she peers over the drawing. I finally take a seat next to Ter and Faith's eyes land in mine before going back to our daughter.
"That looks pretty awesome." She says. "How's about you and Mommy stay over at our house tonight?"
"Really?" Ter and Gravis say at the same time, but without the same tone.
"Yeah." Faith shrugs.
Teresa nods and turns her head to look at me. She gives me a warm smile and a wink before placing her little hand over mine. I try to smile back but it ends up broken, so I let my mind wonder when the food will arrive. Fighting—especially with Faith—whether it be physical or verbal, has always made me hungry and…
Faith and Gravis live in this spanking new condominium building, in Pasadena South. It looks to be about a dozen floors high, and the side rooms have these huge loft-like windows that go all the way up to the high ceilings. Either Faith makes a killing working for Giles and Robin, or Gravis inherited a shitload of money. Between the mechanic who repairs rusty old Dodge Neons and the chick who helps save the world once in awhile, my money's on the chick. And I'm not just saying that because I used to sleep with her.
Gravis hasn't said anything since dinner, and it makes me wonder exactly what his relationship with Faith really entails. I mean, he's been nothing but cordial with Terry and me, and he's shown some signs of love and affection towards his girlfriend, but they've only been just that. Signs. As for Faith, who knows what she's thinking, or even playing? I haven't seen any real demonstration of warmth towards him, except for the chaste kiss she planted on his lips this morning. And I know that was done out of pure trepidation.
"Hey Trace." Faith says to the gatekeeper as we walk out of the garage.
"Miss Lehane. Mister Page." The gatekeeper says in a neutral voice. "Beautiful evening, is it not?"
A gatekeeper! In Pasadena! M-O-N-E-Why? 'Cause they got it. Okay... That was a Xander moment. I admit it.
"Busy night?" Gravis says, finally breaking out of his repenting silence.
The gatekeeper smiles politely before nodding Teresa's direction.
"Nothing worth this visit."
Faith smiles and places a hand on Terry's shoulder in a maternal fashion that I've yet to see tonight.
"Trace, this here is my daughter, Terry." She says as Gravis walks on away from us, to the front doors.
"It is a pleasure, Terry." Trace says as Ter giggles into her hands. "Have a wonderful night."
Faith nods and motions us to walk to the doors in which Gravis has disappeared.
The inside is rich but not glamorous. It's very simple, but it's just screaming "I have taste!" The elevator is a typical loft elevator, open from all sides but for a gate in the front. There are fifteen floors, and Faith presses the button '15'.
"Where's 13?" Terry asks me, holding onto my hand. She's never been a fan of elevators.
"There is no thirteenth floor. It's considered bad luck." I explain, my voice cold and distant.
Terry frowns but stays silent as Faith leans against the back beam before the elevator begins its climb. I don't know why I'm so bitter all of a sudden. Dinner was actually livable, and the ride here was done in an odd comforting silence as Terry watched the night lights roll by through her backseat window.
But now… Being here. I dunno. I guess it kind of reminds me of the time I barged into Faith's apartment with a plan to kill her. It kinda looked like this. But that was almost fifteen years ago. It shouldn't be affecting me like this, should it? For God's sake, you're 32, Buffy. Not 18.
The gate opens up and Faith leads the way to a burgundy door with the number 1A printed on. She opens it up, and leads the way inside.
"This is it. Come in." She says softly, as if she's suddenly unsure of this whole deal.
Gravis' smiles our way before walking, barefooted, to the open kitchen. He swings the door to the stainless steel fridge and grabs himself a soda before walking out again, into what I presume is the master bedroom. But before he walks in, he turns around and nods in Faith's direction. There's soft music coming from the room, and if my music knowledge doesn't escape me, it sounds like Heart.
"I'm gonna turn in. Leave you guys some time to… talk. G'night." He says. "Night Terry."
"Good night Gravis!" Ter waves, and then yawns herself.
All three of us just stand there, not knowing where to start and where to begin. I swear, if I knew what today had planned for us, I would've just stayed in bed. Motherly duties be damned.
Terry yawns again and leans her head against my thigh. It's been a pretty big day for her too. Faith notices and decides to start talking.
"Hum, let me show you where you guys can crash."
She leads us to a spare bedroom equipped with a double bed and a simple dresser. It's a nice room, painted a deep shade of green, with various prints hanging on the wall. There's one of the whole gang, taken a few days after Sunnydale. There's also one of Spike, Faith and I, a few days before Terry was born, on the back porch at the house in Lenwood. Our house. One of Angel and Faith standing in front of some muscle car; looking very much like soul survivors. And finally, a more recent shot, of the whole revamped Scoobies, minus me, plus Faith, Vi, Robin, Andrew and a few faces I don't recognize.
"Nice. Thanks." I say softly.
"Bathroom's just across there. Sleep well Baby T." She says before retreating backwards, closing the door.
Terry and I just stand there, by the door, before I snap out of whatever trance I was in.
"Let's get you to bed, Missy."
Teresa gives me a tired pout but nods just the same. After I help her clean up and change into her somewhat clean beachwear, I quickly usher her into the warm bed, and sit down next to her. Her eyes are heavy and struggling to stay open as she stifles yawn after yawn.
"Mommy?" She says drowsily, laying her head on the pillow.
"Ter?" I say as I brush some of her hair from her face.
"What's going to happen tomorrow?" She asks, another frown taking place on her brow.
I wish I knew, Babe. What do you answer to that? What do you tell your innocent six year old? Do you lie and say that everything will be chocolate cake and daisies? Or do you give her the honest truth that scares the crap out of you?
Willow once told me that kids will believe anything you tell them. But they'll also remember everything you ever tell them. So you can lie to them, but you always run the chance of it coming back to bite you in the ass. So, in light of that, I've never spared Teresa anything, unless I thought it too complicated for her to understand. But this… This is even too complicated for me to understand, but it's something that Terry deserves to know. So. The truth it is.
"I wish I knew, Babe." I voice out quite honestly and unsure of myself.
She sighs and shuts her brown eyes before opening them again.
"Sweet dreams, sweetheart." I kiss her forehead and gingerly get up to affront the long awaited talk.
"Mommy?" She says again, and I turn around to face her. "Can you stay here with me?"
I smile and nod and expel the breath I was holding in. So I snuggle in next to her, holding her gently like I've done countless times before, laying my head behind hers, and gently laying my chin on her small shoulder. Before long, she falls asleep, wiped out from the tired day, and leaves me awake, thinking of our average life.
The average house we live in. The average high school where I teach and Terry's average primary school. The average neighborly friends we have. The average car I drive. The average salary I make as a counselor and self defense instructor. The average life we lead.
And it makes me think about Faith. About her above average boyfriend. Her above average job. Her above average condo. Her above average… everything. And it shouldn't, but it does: It humbles me. And I hate loving her for it.
I get up softly, careful not to wake Teresa up, and notice for the first time the picture on the bedside table. It was taken on the back porch of our house. In it, Terry's about ten months old, and is held by Faith, sitting sideways on the lower wooden steps. It was taken maybe two weeks before she left. I know, 'cause I remember taking that picture.
My eyes water, but I quickly dry them with my sweater sleeve, and make my way to the door. I open it and shut it softly behind me and make my way to the sitting room, where I know she's waiting for me. And there she is, sitting on the couch lazily, but I can tell that she's really tense. She's staring out of the big window and I just lean back against the corner of the wall. Finally, she turns her gaze my way and does the half nod thing.
"You good?" She says, shaking her head like that wasn't what she had meant to say.
"Yeah."
"She asleep?"
"Yeah. She was really wiped."
She nods softly and scoots a little to the left of the couch, inviting me to sit next to her. It's a dangerous move, but it needs to be done. I don't think what we have to say to each other can be said from across a coffee table. So I do. I take the seat and envelop myself in the scent of it. It smells like home. I take a swallow as we look at each other apprehensively.
"Look, I know you got questions, and for a long time, I didn't think I could ever be able to answer them." She starts off. "But I'm willing to give it a try. For Teresa."
"For Teresa." I agree, and know I'm in for a long night.