Author's POV
It was Sunday morning. Severus had woken up and examined Hermione, who seemed to be getting better. Lori did a good job on cleaning the girl and the potions did wonders too. Hermione's magic had also notably calmed and controlled.
After having breakfast, Severus went to the nearest owlery and used five different owls to send the five letters he had written the day before. The meeting will be held tomorrow, and he was dreading it. He felt anxious to know what their reactions would be.
An extremely furious Minerva had just come back from St. Mungo's Hospital and was heading straight to the headmaster's office at Hogwarts. She knew Albus would be there even on the weekend, as he would always like to be pacing when he was worried about something, and he should be worried right about now.
She came barging in through the door and true enough, she found Albus pacing in front of the fireplace area.
"WHERE IS SHE?!"
Minerva's voice was loud and full of venom, enough to make all the past headmasters' portraits hid and cowered in fear. Her own face was red with fury, and rage flowed through her like lava as she demanded answers from the current headmaster.
Albus wanted to tease his friend but knew it was probably not the right time. He had been Minerva's friend long enough to know when to joke around her, so he raised his hands to cool the woman off.
"Min, calm down... Let me explain." Albus said and tried to calm the woman down.
"Don't you bloody tell me to calm down! I want to know where she is! Why the hell did she not come back with the others?"
"Look Min, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. When I arrived there, I had to save Harry from Voldemort, while the other Order members were fighting with Death Eaters. Kingsley and the others told me they had the students hidden and safe while they were fighting with the enemies. No one realized when Hermione went missing." Albus explained, knowing exactly who was the 'she' Minerva referred to.
"What do you mean no one realized? She went there with them! Does no one care about her, at all?"
Minerva broke into tears as she felt angry, sad and frustrated. Mostly, she was frustrated with herself. If she had been taking care of Hermione since her first year, things like this would not happen to her. Hermione would have friends and people who will look after her.
"Don't say that, Min. I care about her; you care about her. Hell, even Severus cares about the girl. She'll be okay, I promise." Albus grabbed the witch's shoulders and pulled her down on the sofa.
"How can you say that when we don't know where she is! What if she was kidnapped by the Death Eaters? Did Kingsley and the others managed to catch them?" Minerva wiped her tears furiously and looked at him with worry.
"They had detained all but Bellatrix and Lucius. Bellatrix was also nowhere to be found while Lucius had been pulled along by Voldemort when he took off." Albus said as he tried to make the woman to calm down for crying.
"Wait, does that mean Bellatrix had kidnapped her?!" Minerva's eyes were wide opened and she gripped Albus' shoulders hard.
"Maybe, but there's no proof." Albus looked despondent.
"Then we must rescue her, Albus! Who knows what Bellatrix would do to her? Hermione is a Muggle-born, and Bellatrix hates them!"
Minerva stood up and started pacing furiously. "Bloody hell, she must have tortured her! Oh no, what if she brings her to You-Know-Who and he kills Hermione?" Minerva ask at him. "Minerva, calm down. Hey, calm, down! Hermione will be okay." Albus said.
Albus pulled the woman down onto the sofa again before he went to open a bottle of firewhisky and poured it down in two glasses.
"How can you be so sure? This is Bellatrix we are talking about — the most deranged female Death Eater, You-Know-Who's right hand!" Minerva shouts as the tears starts to fall again.
Albus sipped on his drink and let out a sigh. "She is in a safe hand, I'm sure. Trust me, Min. Here, have a drink. Calm yourself down." He passed a glass to the distressful witch.
"How can I be calm when Hermione is missing? How can you? I can't lose her again, Al." Minerva sat ungraceful next to the man, cradling her head in her hand.
"Tell me, how much do you care about Hermione?" Albus ask on her relationship with Hermione.
She sighed and sipped on her drink, unable to hide her feelings anymore. "I care about her deeply. I love her so much and it hurts me to think that I could never see her again. I can't afford to lose her too, Al." She sobbed silently as her heart clenched in pain.
"I know, I know. I promise you'll get to see her again." Albus patted on Minerva's shoulder. "Since when do you realize that you love her?" Albus raised his eyebrow as he looked at her.
"Are we really going to talk about it right now?" She let out a tired sigh and her heart was still filled with worry about the person she loved.
"Why not? Just humour me for a bit, will you?" The old man had a mischievous smile on her face.
"Fine, you senile old man." Minerva took a deep breath and reclined in her seat.
"Honestly, I'm not quite sure when exactly did I start to fall in love with her but when I first met Hermione to inform about the acceptance to Hogwarts, I felt something stirred in me. It was a weird feeling, something I have never felt before.
I found her in a park and she looked so lost in herself. When I asked about her parents, she only shook her head and her eyes showed the desperation that she didn't want to talk about them. So, I decided to take her to shop in Diagon Alley but all the while I just couldn't look away from her.
There's something about Hermione but I just couldn't quite put a finger on it. As much as I wanted to know what happened, why she was in a park with a bag full of clothes, I needed to make her trust me in order to open up.
So, we spent the day with me introducing her to many things regarding the wizarding world, and Hermione looked very happy go-lucky that I felt hesitate to ruin her day with my questioning. Her eyes lit up with delight every time she saw any display of magic, and her smile was so bright and radiant that I think I could melt just from seeing it." Minerva explain on how she falls in love with a student, she shouldn't have, but heart wants Hermione.
Minerva paused as she sipped on her drink while her mind recalled the memory of being with the joyful brunette girl. Albus smiled softly as he watched how serene his friend looked like right now.
"Hermione said she had nowhere to go and will probably crash at any cheap motel while waiting for the school term to start. I don't know what moved me but I instantly suggested that she lived with me at Hogsmeade, at the cottage where I used to liv with Elphinstone. You remember that place, don't you, Al?" Minerva ask him when the house was just one apparate away, the house where she leave with her former husband.
Albus nodded as he could still remember the house Minerva lived when she got married to Elphinstone Urquart. She had left that house and moved back to her current living quarters in Hogwarts after he died from a Venomous Tentacula bite.
"Such a lovely girl, Hermione, when she politely declined my offer, but I insisted and bribed her with books and more knowledge about magic until she finally relented." Both of them chuckled as they clearly knew how much the girl loved books more than anything in the world.
"And so, we spent a month living there. Once or twice I brought her to the town or took her for a tour of Hogwarts but most of the time, Hermione only spent her time reading and practicing her magic with what she had learned. Can you believe that she had finished reading her first year's textbooks in just under two weeks? Not only that, in only a week she managed to do all the transfiguration stuff that I have yet to teach her! I mean, seriously, is that amazing or what?"
"Wow, impressive! Though not surprising, knowing how she is with her academic." Albus said as he remembers a quite memory of Hermione jinxing someone who bullied a fourth-year student.
"Right? I thought she was going to be a Ravenclaw, or if she was to be in Gryffindor, I could never be happier and prouder to have her. Just imagine, with Potter's excellency in Quidditch and Hermione in her academic achievements, we could win the House Cup every year! Nevertheless, she was sorted into Slytherin." Minerva said and let out a sigh. "This may be wrong for me to say, but I'm glad Hermione isn't serious in collecting the House points because if she is, there could be no chance for Gryffindor to win again, ever! Not while she's still in Hogwarts, at least." Minerva continue at it.
Albus smiled as he imagined the same thing. If Hermione was in Gryffindor, maybe she would be closed with Ron and Harry, and the trio would probably shake the school with their adventures all the time. Maybe Harry could deal with his prophesied life better with Hermione being so wise at his side.
'Hmm, why have I never thought about that?' He mused.
"Then what happened? Why did you treat her differently than the others? Is it because she's not a Gryffindor but a Slytherin instead? Or because you have feelings for a Muggle-born?" He asks again.
Minerva's face turned sour and she heaved a sigh again. "You know it doesn't matter whether she's a Muggle-born or not. I fell in love with a Muggle once, or have you forgotten?" She toyed with her fingers as she spoke.
"However, I still didn't know what I was feeling towards her, although the month I spent with her was the happiest I have ever felt like. I still don't know how to describe what I felt, it's like Hermione was everything to me.
I love how her eyes shine brightly with wonders, I love how her mind works and how fast she adapts with her surrounding, and when she smiles, when she laughs — damn it — I just can't—I don't—I couldn't... Damn!" Minerva broke into tears as her mind filled with the smiles and laughter she had seen on Hermione's face and her heart was heavy with mixed emotions.
Albus squeezed her arm as he understood the unspeakable words she was trying to say, and he felt pity towards his friend.
"I admit I acted wrongfully towards her. I was honestly disappointed when she was sorted into Slytherin. Why must she be one of them when it's painfully obvious that she didn't belong there? Why can't she be in the others, if not Gryffindor?" Minerva clenched her hands on her lap as she berated herself.
"Somehow, I felt betrayed, even though I know it wasn't her fault. I tried to look past that but when she was slowly starting to show her devious self — wandering around the corridors past curfew, not paying attention in class, fighting with other kids although they are in the same House as hers — I felt like she actually really belongs to the Slytherin. She sorts of reminded me how Bellatrix Black was during her school years, except Hermione is the milder version." Minerva said laugh at the times Bellatrix made he lose almost all of her patients.
"I see. So, you tapered down your feelings and ignored her for years? What about when she received the news that her father was dead in an accident — did you comfort her?" Albus asks and looks at her.
"No, not years. Wait, what?! Her father died in an accident?" Minerva was perplexed. "Hold on, I thought there was a rumours started in her second year that said she killed her parents and sold their house. That wasn't true?" Minerva asks on him because she believe on that romour.
Albus let out a heavy sigh as he slowly shook his head. "No, Min. How foolish can you be to simply trust the words of small kids who I'm sure, were spreading the rumours as an act of bully towards Hermione? I should have told you this sooner, but Hermione is not a murderer like what they claimed her. Her mother died from depression on her 10th birthday while her father died in his own state of drunkenness and got involved in a car accident. It was before the summer holiday of her first year." Albus said and Minerva look down on the floor before looking back at him with tears in her eyes.
"What?! I mean, how-how do you know about that?" Minerva's face was as pale as the colour of all the ghosts who wandered about in the castle.
"I was the one who delivered the news about her father's death, of course. When the first rumours about her started around, think it was in November 1992, I called upon her and asked about them. She told me about her mother's death and the reason why she sold their house, and she also said that she didn't sleep with any of the professors in order to get full marks in all her exam." He said and more tears fall on her face.
Albus furrowed her eyebrows and shook his head in disbelief. "Honestly, I don't understand how that one came about, Hermione's already a brilliant student and would definitely not need any stepping stone to get full marks in the exam."
"Then, what about—about her being defiled? Has she really been de-deflowered?" Minerva stuttered and remembered one of the earliest rumours which she found the most significant and affected her emotionally. Her face switched from hopeful to downhearted the instant she saw her friend shook his head.
Albus sighed and poured more drink into his glass. "It's not my place to talk about that." He took a sip and looked at her questioningly, "why didn't you ask her? Have you been ignoring her all these years?"
Minerva's body trembled and her hands were shaking as she felt angry at herself. How can she be so stupid?
"No, I talked to her again during the summer of 1993, after her second year. I've heard from Rolanda and Aurora that she was working in Rosmerta's, and I wanted to investigate, so I decided to go there as a customer but I had forgone my glamours and charms.
Hermione was initially surprised and I thought I was busted, but she didn't say anything and continued to entertain my orders Feeling safe, I went there every day at the same time and eventually approached her, pretending like I didn't know who she was and was interested in getting to know her.
So, we kind of started from scratch and talked about many things, except my real persona because I told her my name was Mina and I was an adventurer. I thought she would take the bait, but she didn't seem impressed at all. She whispered to me my real name and told me that she knew I took my glamours off every time I went there.
She asked me for my reason and I told her that I just wanted to see her. She didn't seem to be mad at me so we spent almost every day at the same time just talking about everything and nothing in particular, but I never touched about the rumours or about her family. I felt like I was constantly in a bubble with Hermione and the feelings I had locked away, resurfaced and were getting stronger the more I spent time with her. I didn't know she feel the same way too, although she was blatantly obvious flirting with me." Minerva said at him.
Minerva stopped talking as fear consumed her into continuing the story. She remembered the confession, the kiss and the running away. She knew what Albus was going to ask even before he opened his mouth.
"What happened then?" Albus asks and he can see what she said the way her eyes glisten with tears.
She sighed. "Well, something happened during one of the nights in early August that year. Hermione had finished her work and as always, I offered to send her to the room she was staying in the inn. Normally, I would bid her goodnight, she would give me a peck on the cheek and I would leave feeling giddy all through the night." Minerva felt a blush crept up her neck.
"However, that night was different. While bidding her goodnight, she confessed her love to me and all I did was being glued to the floor. I didn't know how to react to her confession, but then she kissed me on my lips and I freaked out." Minerva said and she feel like there's a thousand needles piercing her heart.
"Why?" Albus asks but he knows Minerva's fear on losing everyone she loves.
"I… was scared. I was afraid that if I admit I have fallen in love with her, I would lose her too. I have already lost Dougal and Elphinstone, and I felt terrible things will happen if I allow myself to be together with Hermione. Despite the strong feelings I have for her, she is still my student and we have too much of an age gap!
So, I told her that I couldn't accept her feelings, and our age and status were an issue for me, but I didn't tell her that I couldn't afford to lose her like I lost Dougal and Elphinstone. It hurts me so much to love someone only to be heartbroken again. You know how painful it is to lose the people you love with all your heart." Minerva explain her reasons that are facts.
Albus nodded as he knew the feeling all too well. He sighed in grief and emptied his glass. "But Min, you shouldn't deprive yourself of love. Are you going to deny every chance of happiness because you're afraid of its ending? That doesn't sound like a true Gryffindor at all. What happens to your Gryffindor's courage? Has it diminished along with your age?" Albus tease her at her bravado on everything in life.
They both chuckled despite the heavy conversations and he went on, "don't become alone like me. You have the chance to love and be loved, so grab it and never let it go away. Unless you're really happy after you rejected Hermione, but I sincerely doubt that. You're feeling worse without her, am I right?"
Minerva nodded and sunk deeper into the seat. "I was terrified when the school started and someone spread the news that they saw Hermione kissed a woman, although they didn't know it was me. I lived in constant fear for a few months and desperately tried to avoid Hermione as much as I could.
But the further I went, the more I realized that I'm in love with her and how miserable my life has become, and I regretted not being able to go back in time. I regretted pushing her away because, by the time I wanted to apologize, she had already distanced herself and closed off." Minerva said and almost fall in the couch.
"When she collapsed?" Albus ask on the day Hermione lost consciousness and was immediately rushed to the hospital wing.
"Yes. I felt terrible upon hearing the news and went to see her, but she didn't even want to look at me or acknowledged my presence in the infirmary. That's when it hit me so hard in the gut that what I feared to happen was actually happening, all because of my own cowardice.
I had been so cooped up in my own bubble that I didn't realize people had started to call her names, that she had become so much pale and thin, even worse than how she was when I first met her. I tried plenty of times to apologize to her but she totally avoided me.
The next summer, I tried to look for her but was unsuccessful given that she no longer worked and stayed at Rosmerta's. I wasn't able to find her in the Muggle side of London either, so I gave up on finding her, but I didn't give up on trying to apologize and get her attention again."
Albus watched as Minerva finally emptied her glass before she stood up and walked towards the windows. She looked at nothing outside the castle and her eyes held the longing she felt in her heart.
"Did she finally give you the attention you sought for?" He asked from the distance.
Minerva huffed and her breath fogged the window she leant on. "She did, although I had to resort to using my position as the Deputy Headmistress. I talked to Severus and insisted on being Hermione's advisor for her career talk. We reconciled and I finally allowed myself to love her, to grab onto the chance of happiness, but…"
Albus stood up and stepped closer towards his friend. "But?"
"But now she's missing, Al. I knew it, I knew I couldn't love anyone anymore. It has only been a month after I declared my love to her and look what happens? She's missing, I don't know where she is, what happen to her, whether she's still alive or not…"
Tears tracked down Minerva's cheek but she made no attempt at clearing them away. "Maybe my life is cursed, maybe whatever power that's up there doesn't like to see me happy."
"Hey hey, shh… Don't say that, Min. You're not cursed, okay?" Albus pulled the sobbing woman into his arms as he tried to cheer her up. "Hold onto your hopes, Min, because everything dies when hopes are lost."
A loud 'thud' sound was heard from the windows and Minerva jumped in surprise. Both the witch and wizard turned their head around and saw an owl was hovering outside, waiting for an entrance into the room. Albus waved his hand and the window opened to let it through. The owl dropped a letter to Minerva and bumped its head with Fawkes before it flew out. Surprisingly it did not get a burn from Fawkes' flame.
Minerva wiped her tears away and inspected the envelope with her name on it before she turned it around. Her brows furrowed as she looked at the unfamiliar seal she had never seen before and wondered who it was from. Albus caught a glimpse of the seal and smiled covertly before he backed away and gave her the needed privacy.
Several minutes later, "Albus, I'm going out tomorrow. Something important comes up," Minerva said as she folded the letter and kept it inside her robe.
Take as long time as you need to," Albus replied with twinkles in his eyes.
"Tell me, Hermione, you've heard your prophecy, right?" Anastasia said as she looked at Hermione.
The said girl nodded her head as she recalled the prophecy she heard at the Department of Mystery.
"What are your thoughts on it? Do you believe it?" Anastasia asks Hermione.
Hermione looked up towards the clear blue sky as she pondered upon the questions. Both her and Anastasia had moved from sitting under the huge tree to lying on the grass.
"I'm a witch who grew up in a Muggle environment. Muggles understand things with logic and science. The main reason why they couldn't understand wizardry is that we do things out of their normalcy.
Prophecy, on the other hand, I personally have no idea how to feel about it. Even if you know something will happen in the future, how would you know which action you do, which choice you take or which decision you make will lead to that future?" She said; Anastasia nodded in agreement.
"My prophecy said that Morgan is reincarnated as me, but it turns out that only part of her soul is merged with mine. What's more, there's a power play by the deities where your soul is merged with mine too. How is this a logical thing to think about, when all I've known my entire life is that one's life ends when one dies? Science can't prove that a human can defy death or be alive after they are dead." Hermione said at the young goddess.
Anastasia hummed at the girl's explanation. Humans were so complicated, and as a demigod herself, she found it hard to understand why the humans liked to complicate matters. Why couldn't they just accept things as it is?
"But your prophecy was true, wasn't it? It explains about you and your life — a gem amongst the snakes, a beauty hidden by scars, mended pain through knowledge and understanding, tossed between two sides, betrayed, tortured, broken and battered. Weren't they all true? Or are you trying to say that you don't believe in them, in fate and destiny?" Anastasia said.
Hermione's snort surprised Anastasia.
"You know what, Ana? Fate and destiny, they are all craps," Hermione said and heard the gasp coming from her side. "They are craps but doesn't mean that I don't believe in them. I just don't like when someone abuses its term, using fate and destiny as excuses to get things done their way. By someone, I mean to include the deities too." Hermione continue to explain on the fates and destiny.
"What do you mean?" Anastasia propped herself up on her elbow as she looked at Hermione's calm face.
Hermione took a deep breath and let it go. "I think there are two sides of fate, just like there are always two sides of a coin. On one side, fate gives people comfort and security. They think every bad event that happens, they happen for a reason, or they will lead to something better in the future. Thus, they feel that "it's okay, it's my fate. Something good will come, I just have to be patient. There's always a rainbow after the rain."
I mean, how fucked up is that? How can you constantly allow yourself to be hurt just because you believe that something great will happen? Also, you can't always see a rainbow unless at a certain angle. That's why I said that my life has been like a gam to the deities if they think that I can accept everything that had happened to me, were needed to happen in order for me to become a future queen.
On another side, fate makes people feel helpless and worthless. They will think that there's no point in trying if everything in life has been decided and cannot be changed. This kind of thinking is the worst! What's the point of living, then? Why were yo born in the first place? Do you know how many people have died because they believe in that?"
Anastasia looked dumbfounded as she still could not understand how humans think. Were that why humans made so many foolish decisions in life? Destroying each other and their surroundings because of how they perceived fate?
"What about yourself, Hermione? Do you believe that all the terrible things happened in your life because you feel like something great will come? Or do you believe that everything is predetermined so there's no worth in standing up for yourself?"
Hermione furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head in denial. "No, definitely not. I never knew that my life has been destined to become someone so powerful from the past and in the future. Even if I knew, I still won't accept that I have to endure all the terrible things just because fate has written it that way.
I believe that in order to achieve great things in life, I have to work for it. With hard work only will I feel life is worthy of living Do you want to know why I didn't stand up for myself? Because it's not worth it. Those people are not worth even the slightest of my attention." Hermione pushed herself up and embraced her knees as she looked towards the distance.
"I only believe in fate and destiny in a way that I accept things happen because they happen. Yes, fate may have decided the course of my life, how it turns out to be, what I will become, but I accept life as it is. I accept being made fun of because I know that's what people like to do. They will always pick on someone they don't like, and even though that's not okay and acceptable, I'm glad they picked on me. I know I can survive whatever they throw at me, even when sometimes I feel like it's too much." She sighed as her hands went to wipe her face.
"I was born to this world, that's destiny. I was born with brown hair, I was born as a witch, those are destiny too. Fate says I have to eat in order to live, but I say it's up to me what I want to eat, how or when I want to eat. Fate says I will become a queen, but I say it's up to me. I will decide how I want to live, what I want to do and achieve in my life, and nothing can stop me from how I feel about my life. I may have sounded paradoxical, but I really don't give a damn about it. It's my life and I will decide what I want to do with it."
Anastasia was beside herself with joy, but the young girl did not notice it. There was not one mortal who was so brave — or foolish — to against the deities, and she could not help but beamed with pride at the look of determination on Hermione's face.
"But what about your pain, those scars you inflicted upon yourself? The desire of choosing death instead of continuing to live?
Hermione's hand clenched at her chest. "I'm a mere human, Ana, there's always a limit to everything. A limit to my power, my understanding, and my patience. I know I can undergo the pain, but for how long must I endure them?
Furthermore, emotional pain is worse than the physical pain, that's why I chose to scar myself. It took away the emotional pain albeit temporarily and unhealthily. There were times when I just wanted to give up on everything and dying, I thought it' better than living because life is constantly filled with so much cruelty."
From the corner of her eyes, Hermione saw Anastasia nodded her head. "There's one thing that still confuses me," she said.
"What is it, my dear Hermione?" Anastasia smiled sweetly at the girl.
Hermione turned around and locked her eyes with Anastasia. "Soulmates. The prophecy mentioned my soulmates are The Blacks, the Veela, together with the tabby cat. Are they really Minerva, Fleur, Narcissa, Andromeda, and Bellatrix?"
"Well yes, I thought you've figured that out already?" Anastasia furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "I know I smelled the Amortentia, but I just wanted to confirm it. What if The Blacks include Sirius Black too?" Hermione shivered as she thought of the infamous man, who was connected to the dimwit Harry Potter. She had nothing against Sirius, however, and was certain that she was totally gay.
Anastasia burst out laughing at the thought. "No, no. Definitely not, Hermione. Don't worry, I can confirm that only the five ladies are your soulmates, no more than that." She said in between her laughs.
Hermione let out a relieved sigh before she started cackling with her own laughter. After a while, the laughter subsided and she sighed again. "Gosh, this is going to be complicated," she said.
"What is?" Anastasia raised her eyebrow questioningly.
"How do I know whether Min and Fleur really love me? What if all of them were only attracted to me or I to them, because of the soulmate thing?" Hermione asks as she remembers their way of rejecting her.