Love. War. Throughout her lives, Sailor Mars has been all too familiar with both…and the painful choices they've forced her to make. Manga canon. Written for Rei's 30th Anniversary.
Rated: T - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Words: 3,523 - Jadeite/Jedite, Minako A./Mina/Sailor Venus, Rei H./Raye/Sailor Mars, Neo-Queen Serenity
A/N: This fic is connected to my other works 'Doomed Affairs' and 'Wise Decisions'. However, you shouldn't need to have read those to follow this fic.
This fic was also graciously betaed by Lin_Lamont. Find her on FFN, AO3 and tumblr under the same username.
Amidst the heat of dawn, they stood opposite one another. He in a crisp, off-white military uniform, his face framed by golden locks that put the rising sun to shame. She in a mermaid dress of red and fuchsia that fluttered in the wind, as did her silky black hair. The couple inched toward each other, closing in on their intertwined hands between their bodies. Closer together. Closer, and closer.
Or at least, that is what Sailor Mars saw in the flames.
For a moment, the flames seemed to almost part, and she glimpsed beautiful white flowers on the other side of the room. Her cheeks went red. He'd given those to her the last time she'd visited the Earth. However, it had been her own idea to put them in the jade vase. A hot flush passed through her, and she didn't need to be psychic to tell why.
Things had been… growing between her and Jadeite recently. At first, they'd been the most aloof of their respective groups, the holdouts whilst the others had steadily paired off. They were still holding off, really, although last time his lips had drawn dangerously close to hers. And tomorrow night?
Shame flooded her.
Intimacy between people like herself and Jadeite was forbidden by God's law. They all knew that, of course, but none took the law as seriously as she did. She had long admired (and even envied) the Silver Millennium priestesses and often spent free time in their temples on Mars and the Moon, taking inspiration from their devotion to their beliefs and skills at divination.
And here she was, kneeling in a poor replication of their practices, trying to see what would happen when she met Jadeite alone for the first time. It was a mockery of both the priestesses and the divine laws they held in such este–
Her eyes widened. Figures had appeared in the fire again, but this time far too clearly to leave her in any doubt.
The figures were two armies clashing in front of the Moon Castle. The flames morphed into a new image. The Earth Prince shielding Serenity, his face contorted in pain. Then, all heat seemed to drain from the room. In place of the armies, in place of Endymion, there was just Serenity.
And the sword thrust through her heart.
At the top of a lush, green hill, Jadeite waited patiently. He smiled upon seeing Mars approach up one of the slopes.
"I was worried you wouldn't be coming."
"...I almost didn't." Mars's eyes were downcast.
"I can sympathise," he laughed. "I had a difficult time making excuses to get away. We've been busy lately with citizens making anti-Lunarian protests. Oh, these are for you." He extended a bouquet of snow white lilies to Mars.
She pushed them away.
Mars raised her eyes, but fixed her gaze at a point just over Jadeite's shoulder.
"Jadeite… I almost didn't come because… because we cannot see each other anymore."
Jadeite said nothing for a moment. Then, slowly, tentatively, he withdrew the flowers.
"W-why?"
The fire Senshi's insides turned to ice at the breathiness of his tone.
"Did… Did someone find out about us? Or about my Master and your Princess?"
Still averting her gaze, Mars mechanically shook her head.
"Not as far as I know but…you, me, all of us have been…"
Jadeite took a step forward. "What?" He implored quietly.
Mars remained motionless, but, with much effort, she shifted her eyes to Jadeite's.
"We've been playing with fire."
Mars noticed his grip on the flowers tightening. "Maybe it's worth the risk." Were he addressing almost anyone else, Jadeite's tone might have come across as determined rather than barely disguised belligerence.
"Perhaps it might've been worth the risk if it was just about us. But I know how loyal you are to your Master. And my dream, my only dream, is to protect the Princess. We're lucky. We haven't let things get too far between us, but persuading the others to end things will–"
"What are you talking about," hissed Jadeite. "You can't expect me to talk the others into going through this too, especially not my Master. You can't… Wait… Are you… Are you the reason Mercury ended things with Zoisite?"
"No!" Mars had braced herself for this encounter, but the cruel accusation on his face caught her totally off guard. "I had nothing to do with that!" He narrowed his eyes at her, his gloves now wet and stained green from his grip upon the flowers. "If our relationships, especially Serenity and Endymion's, came to light, it could start a war. It could kill both of them, maybe even all of us. We might be forced to fight one another. I know you understand that. It is why you and I both held off for so long."
Finally, though it broke her heart, she saw understanding dawn upon him. Jadeite limply dropped his arms, the flowers falling upon the ground.
Mars waited twenty seconds. Twenty seconds for him to say anything. Twenty seconds where she could drink in his handsome face. Twenty seconds where the sight of him like this stabbed her in the chest, which (she reminded herself) was better than Serenity being stabbed in her chest.
"Take care of yourself, Jadeite. And your Prince," she said finally, before turning around and beginning down the hill.
"I don't believe you, you know."
Mars halted and looked back over her shoulder. Evidently, there was still a dash of belligerence left in the Shitennou. Perhaps, right now, that was all he had left in him.
"About what?" she asked.
"That protecting Princess Serenity is your only dream. I don't believe you don't want more."
Mars glared at him for a moment, then her gaze wavered, falling upon the beautiful flowers at his feet. For a moment, she was mesmerised by the snowy petals, but then she caught sight of the crushed stems. She clenched her fist.
"If I wanted more…why did I pledge my purity to her last night?"
She did not linger to take in Jadeite's reaction. She simply continued down the slope, the Sun setting as she departed, the hot golden rays swiftly giving way to darkness.
The cool wind.
The golden red sky.
Even the chugging of the buses and chatter of pedestrians.
It was hardly the first time Rei had seen such sights, felt such sensations on her route back home. But now, it was like she was experiencing them for the first time. The beauty and wonder of everything seemed so much more obvious than it ever had before. In particular, the beauty and wonder of the bubbly blonde accompanying her.
"Guess that 'Death' tarot card was all wrong," teased Minako, spinning a volleyball on her finger.
"Not necessarily," replied Rei, trying to hide the side glances she was throwing at Minako as the wind elegantly blew golden locks about her face. "We still died, even if the Galaxy Cauldron gave us a second chance."
"Third chance," corrected Minako. "Or…maybe fourth?"
"I've lost count," said Rei, daring to let her gaze linger on Minako's sky blue eyes for a moment.
"Whatever. You know what they say, 'Never check gifts a horse gives you.'"
Rei chuckled as they neared the steps of her shrine.
"What's so fun–Hey wait!"
Minako stopped dead, her eyes wide in shock.
"What, what is it?" Rei said, trying to remain calm, but casting her psychic senses wide in readiness.
"You laughed! You barely ever laugh!"
Rei exhaled and rolled her eyes. "Is that all? I thought you'd spotted Metalia back from the dead. Or at least another genius loci."
Minako giggled. "Would you believe I'm kind of nostalgic for that day we met Ghost Cistern?"
"I'm sure it was hilarious for you," Rei said, gently nudging Minako. A small tingle lingered on her arm where she'd touched the blonde.
"Alright, not necessarily you getting possessed. But looking back, it was kind of fun pretending to go to your school for the day."
"...It was kind of fun going to your school, too." Rei shot a smirk at Minako.
As Mina returned the smirk, Rei's memory was cast back to the pair of them atop the Jûban High School roof. Her lips tingled at the ghost of Minako's finger upon them, reassuring her that they'd make it through the crisis at hand.
"You know, you could always spend another day at my school. Tomorrow would be good, and hopefully we won't bump into any genius loci or Sailor Animamates. Oh, and after, we can go get your necklace fixed. I know a great place in town."
"My…necklace?" Involuntarily, Rei's hand raised to her bare neck.
"Yeah, I noticed you weren't wearing it recently and figured it must be broken. I mean, it belonged to your mother, right? Why else wouldn't you wear it?"
Now Rei's neckline tingled.
"Y-you noticed something like that?"
"Sure."
"I… Don't take this the wrong way, but I had no idea you could be so perceptive."
"Oh well, I'm not that perceptive…not with everyone, anyway."
Minako shot Rei a wink that made the typically stoic shrine maiden's stomach somersault.
"Maybe… Maybe we should take a raincheck on the necklace tomorrow. The others will have better things to do after school."
"Sure, but I mean… They don't have to come with us…right?"
Rei fixed Minako with a piercing look. Minako stared right back, her gaze steady and unwavering.
"Shall we…meet here tomorrow morning?" suggested Rei.
"Alright," Minako replied softly.
She threw Rei another wink before running off, neither her speed nor the crimson setting sun quite hiding the red hue upon her cheeks.
Rei waited thirty seconds. Thirty seconds for Minako to run ahead. Thirty seconds where she could watch her until she disappeared from sight. Thirty seconds where the sight of her bouncing hair made her arm, neck, lips and the rest of her body tingle.
At last, she was gone, and although Rei hated to see her go, she was abuzz with excitement. With a speed she had never known before she galopped up the shrine steps and changed out of her school uniform and into her shrine robes.
Unsurprisingly, she found it difficult to concentrate on mediation.
Was this really happening?
Were she and Mina actually…?
She didn't finish the thought. She didn't even dare, as if doing so might somehow spoil things. She cast it out of her mind and tried to focus upon the fire before her. She tried all the harder to resist peeping into what might unfold between herself and Mina tom–
A face appeared within the flames. But it was a far cry from Minako's angelic features; this face was nothing less than a nightmare. Surrounded by dead and dying bodies was a flaming skull, a black crescent moon upon its forehead…
The wind felt frosty. The traffic sounded noisy and obnoxious. And the afternoon Sun was casting long, black shadows across the pavement as Rei made her way home.
"Hey."
The single word might have sounded innocent enough on its own. Unfortunately, Rei could practically taste the hurt and confusion barely hidden behind it.
Shifting up her downcast eyes, she saw Minako sitting on the shrine steps.
"I…um… I know I was a little late, but when I swung by here this morning, you'd already left. Did you think I wasn't coming or something?"
"That wasn't it," replied Rei flatly. "I decided it wasn't a good idea, that's all."
"Oh...right. A fancy school like yours would probably frown on you ditching for a day, right? Well, nevermind, we can still go to that place I told you abo–"
"There's no need," Rei interjected. "I fixed my necklace myself last night."
She fished out the item from her bag and held it up matter-of-factly.
Her jaw clenched as Minako's eyes widened.
"But… But I thought…"
For the briefest of moments, Rei considered asking Mina exactly what she had thought. But she didn't have it in her to lie. She didn't have it in her to hurt Minako more than she had to.
"Mina… That day we di… That day on the school roof, do you remember what we told Yaten?"
"Yaten," Minako said, a hint of annoyance in her voice.
"We told Yaten that we'd already given our hearts to Usagi. That we were determined to live for her. That we devoted ourselves to her long ago."
Minako visibly gulped. "But…that was… Of course I will protect Usagi, but I thought…with Chaos gone, with us coming back, that meant–"
"Nothing's changed, Mina. Whether Usagi becomes Queen or not, she will always need us to protect her. To help defend her and everyone else from whatever enemies might come. And the team will need both of us to be at our best. To be…undistracted. They deserve that. Serenity deserves that. Doesn't she?"
Minako said nothing. She simply gulped and lowered her head, her beautiful blonde hair obscuring her face.
"Yes, she does."
Still downcast, Minako stood up and turned her back on Rei.
"Guess I'm not much of a team leader…distracting you like that. See you tomorrow, okay?"
Minako walked away and Rei remained rooted on the spot, watching even as her friend's shadow disappeared from sight. This time, Rei waited far more than thirty seconds.
Within her glittering crystalline chambers, Sailor Mars knelt before the fire.
She had to know. She had to be prepared. Somehow, the Black Moon Clan had blindsided them, her most of all. She could not permit herself to fail like that again.
Mars stared deep into the flames until they felt like an extension of herself. And within them, she saw…
Planets. Moons. Stars. The entire universe was burning.
Ten thousand warriors were clashing in a great war.
And overseeing it all was a being that seemed composed of black smoke, a cruel, chaotic look upon her terrible face.
The sacred fire suddenly died, leaving Mars's chamber in near total darkness, and the Senshi herself in a cold sweat. As fast as she could, she bolted out of the door and sped down the palace hallways, her heels rhythmically clicking upon the crystalline floor.
"Your Majesty!" she half bellowed as she flung open the doors to Serenity's throne room. "I had a premonition of–"
"Of me summoning you here?" inquired Serenity. "Wow, your powers really have developed over the centuries, haven't they?"
Mars shook her head. "No, no. In the aftermath of the Black Moon Clan's invasion, I have been trying to get ahead of any potential new threats that might arise."
To Mars's mild confusion, Serenity's mouth formed into a thin line.
"Anyway, just now, in the sacred fire, I saw…um…"
She petered out as Serenity raised a hand to silence her.
"Sailor Mars… Rei… Have you been spending a lot of time dwelling on this?"
Mars's body stiffened, utterly taken aback.
"I… Yes, I suppose I have."
Serenity narrowed her eyes. "You know, whenever they aren't helping the relief efforts, the others actually spend time doing something they enjoy."
Mars furrowed her brow. "What are you saying? As the Senshi of War, I should make it my business to be prepared for upcoming battles. It is the best way to protect you. I long ago dedicated myself to combating threats to you, Your Majesty."
Serenity cocked an eyebrow.
"Rei… I have fought alongside you for centuries now. We've protected the Earth and the Solar System together, haven't we?"
"Of course."
"And, forgive me for saying so, but… I seem to remember that, more often than not, I was the one who protected you guys."
Shame burned within Mars.
"I won't deny that, but that just proves how much harder I have to try to–"
"You don't get it," Serenity interjected. "I'm not insulting you. I am saying I protected you guys because I love you all. And that love gave me the strength to protect you all in the first place. It made me a stronger Sailor Senshi."
"I don—"
"Rei… I'm saying, protecting me, fighting the good fight…they don't have to come at the expense of anything else that might make you happy."
"Those things do make me happy, Serenity."
Serenity rolled her eyes. "Alright, they make you happy. You could be even happier and fulfil your duties. One doesn't have to come at the expense of the other. Do you understand?"
For the first time in millennia, Mars believed that she was indeed starting to…
Kneeling before the sacred fire, Mars stared deep into the flames.
Nowadays, if she wanted to see anything in the fire, she had to lean further forwards, an act that made her old bones creak slightly. She supposed that was an acceptable trade off for being able to read the dancing heat ever more clearly across the years. As she moved forwards, she felt something come loose from the front of her robes.
"Careful, you don't want to singe that, now do you?"
Mars glanced to the side. A woman with somewhat golden blonde hair streaked with some dignified silver leaned against the doorway. Her still sparkling, sky blue eyes were fixed upon a necklace dangling from Mars's neck, almost being licked by the flames. Mars felt a warmth within her core that had little to do with the sacred fire.
"I think I'll give it a rest for tonight, anyway," she said, tucking the necklace back into her robes and standing up.
"Calling it quits this early?" Venus adopted a look of mock outrage. "How unbecoming of the 'High Priestess of Hikawa Shrine.'"
Mars chuckled and took Venus by the hand. "It doesn't matter. I know what I would have seen. I see it every night. I even see myself seeing it every night."
"Oh? And what's that?"
Mars shot a glance back at the sacred fire.
"Me, you, Serenity, and all the others, safe and sound."
With that, the fire vanished and Mars left the room to enjoy the latest of many peaceful nights with her beloved. And the first of many, many more.
A/N: So I know this fic might be a little controversial. Let me begin by saying I apologise if I have offended any readers and Rei fans in particular as I appreciate that the topic of MangaMars' romances with men and chastity can potentially be a little dicey.
This story is rooted in my own personal interpretation of both based chiefly upon the 2018 Eternal Edition translations. They use the term 'purity' so I sought to simply be accurate to what they said, not that I am by implication trying to say anything about sex being 'impure' or anything.
In regards to her relationship with Jadeite and Venus, I was NOT trying to make some kind of commentary about one gender being better than another or anything like that (as far too many people believed when I wrote the 'Doomed Affairs', the 'companion piece' to this story. Whilst I believe in fanfics we can do anything we wish regardless of canon, in fics like this I do try to adhere to canon in stories like this, especially for my anniversary anthology. And with that in mind, I firmly believe there is more than enough material in both the manga, spin-off media (like Crystal and the Musicals) and Greco-Roman mythology that helped inspire these stories that suggests Sailor Mars was romantically involved with BOTH Jadeite and Venus.
What does that say about her sexuality? I have my own views, other readers might have theirs, but for the purposes of this story they don't really matter. Rei's romantic/sexual feelings towards men and women in general are irrelvant in the face of her relationships with Jadeite, Venus and (platonically) Serenity.
Also just to let you know I am involved in a discord called 'Moonlight Legends' which is dedicated to sharing all sorts of Sailor Moon fanworks, including other fanfics. If you would like to join so you can share your own work, get help with your current projects or just connect to other fan creators shoot me a PM and I'll send you an invite. All are welcome!