Chapter 8

Guinan looked up from her meditation in the park to find Seth walking toward her. She picked up her hat and placed it carefully on her head. "Hello. Where is Dr. Howard?"

Seth was drinking a red fizzy drink and casually sat down next to her on the grass.

"She had some stuff to take care of," he said.

Guinan squinted at her nephew in the sunlight. "Really? More stuff? What is it lately with people and their personal business?"

"Look who's talking," Seth said easily.

"What?"

"You were talking to Q yesterday...remember?"
"Were you spying on my brain again?" Guinan accused.

The kid smiled. "Maybe a little bit."

She watched him. "Yes, I talked to Q. And?"

"You still don't trust him."

"You know the saying 'people don't change?' Well, that was made for Q. I will trust Q when he shows me that he can be trusted."

"Q might be a jerk, but he's Jean-Luc's friend."

"It's complicated," said Guinan. "Besides, he's talking a lot of nonsense right now. He's confused."

"Well...if he knows how to find Jean-Luc, don't we want to listen to what he has to say?"

Late 2347-

"Are you going to tell him about us?" he watched her face closely, looking for the connection they had; that he hoped was still there.

"Jean-Luc, there is no us," she said. "I'm back together with Jack now. And…"

"And? And you don't need me anymore. Really, because after a few months of silence from you, I think I can take a hint, Beverly. You didn't need to call me here for a clandestine meeting-"

"Jean-Luc, I'm pregnant."

He stared at her. "Is it mine?" He didn't care if his tone was sharp, or too possessive. She had already slipped away from him.

She backed away from him. "It? This baby, is mine, Jean-Luc. We were together less than two weeks. Jack and I may have been fighting, but we've been back together now for two months. Do you really think…."

"Yes, I do," he said quickly. "I think this baby is ours, and I think you're using your pregnancy to run back to Jack."

"And I think," she said in a quiet voice. "That you are using your knowledge of my pregnancy to try and manipulate me to stay with you, not because you care about the baby. If you think I will be manipulated, you're wrong, Jean-Luc."

"Manipulation?" He laughed. "Why did you call me up after two months, and ask to meet with me...just so you could tell me you're pregnant with Jack's child? Who is manipulating who now?"

"You always need to have the last word, don't you, Jean-Luc?"

"How could I have been so stupid to think that you wanted me, when all you really wanted was a vacation from Jack. Patched things up again, have you?"

She looked at him in shock, and he knew he had hurt her, but she had already hurt him so many times over.

"Of course I wanted you. But sometimes that isn't enough."

"It was enough for me."

Several Weeks Later-Spacedock

Walker Keel was used to being the one in the middle of it all. He was the arranger, even the glue, perhaps that held everyone else together. He had enjoyed his role as facilitator, even matchmaker, but recently he had instead, reluctantly become a peacemaker for the people he cared about most. Beverly and Jack Crusher were expecting their first child, which had recently been announced. Although Beverly was only about four months along, Jack and Beverly had left the Stargazer for leave, which had not gone over well with Jean-Luc, who could not fathom why his second officer needed to leave his post so soon. Picard had been more than open about his displeasure with Jack's decision, and it had brought out a side of Jean-Luc that Walker had never seen before.

Now the four of them had reunited at a party for J.P. Hanson, who had recently been given his own command, though he had been a Captain at Starfleet Headquarters for a few years now. Hanson had originally been Jean-Luc's superior on board the Stargazer, and the two men had once been bitter rivals. Although the rivalry remained, it was less acrimonious, especially now that they no longer had to see each other every day. Walker had been pleased to hear that J.P. had thrown himself a party and had asked Jean-Luc, among others, to say a few words. The fact that Jean-Luc would never have thrown himself a party for any kind of occasion, made the moment that much more amusing to Walker.

But it still left the issue of his friends' current feud. Walker had been ecstatic to learn of Beverly's news since both she and Jack had initially seemed overwhelmed by happiness. Now, just weeks later, they seemed mostly overwhelmed.

Walker grabbed another drink and made his way over to the table before flopping his lanky body down next to Beverly. He put an arm around her shoulder. "How is everyone?"

Beverly leaned into his arm and said, "fine," but there was something about her voice that expressed the opposite.

Walker nodded at Jack, who was fiddling with his napkin and glancing around the room.

"What the hell's going on with you two? This should be the happiest time of your lives!"

Jack smiled, and reach over to take Beverly's hand. "It is," he said. But then his eyes shifted to Jean-Luc, who had just given a short speech on behalf of Hanson, and was moving to shake hands with a few people in the crowd. Jack could tell that Jean-Luc was about to make a quick escape from the party.

"So then why are you both looking so depressed?"

"Oh, Walker..." Beverly shrugged off his embrace and leaned forward to nibble something from her plate.

"Don't 'oh Walker' me, you guys. Not going to work." He slid his chair into the table and pointed a carrot stick in Jean-Luc's general direction. "He gave a good speech."

"He always gives a good speech," Jack said. "No matter the occasion," he added, taking another sip of his drink.

"Yes, but...he can't stand J.P."

"No doubt, but that doesn't stop him from getting the job done," Jack said now with a forced grin. "He's always about the job...right Bev?" He looked at Beverly, who had been basically ignoring him all evening, and it was starting to irk him. One thing they could always agree on previously was Jean-Luc's imperious attention to duty, and often he and Beverly would laugh about this in private. But since he'd practically twisted her arm to get her to come to the party, she hadn't been in the best of moods and had hardly looked up from the table.

Walker grimaced. "Are you fighting?"

"Leave me out of this," Beverly snapped unexpectedly.

"Out of what?" Walker questioned, but backed off.

"She's mad because I dragged her to this stupid party," Jack said with a smirk.

Beverly looked up sharply. "Don't speak for me, Jack. You don't have a clue what I'm feeling right now."

Jack sat back and tapped the table awkwardly for a few seconds. "Oh...okay. Sorry." Beverly said nothing, and the awkward silence persisted until Jack stood up and shouted to get his friend's attention. "Hey, Jean-Luc! Over here," he gestured for him to come over.

Out of the corner of his eye, Walker saw Beverly drop her forehead in her palm briefly, before regaining her cool as Jean-Luc approached.

Picard saw Jack waving at him, and could think of very few things he would like to do less than to go and say "hi" to his friend and second officer. Never had things been so complicated between him and Jack, and he wasn't about to admit to anyone but himself why that was. He took a deep breath and finished his champagne, setting the glass down on a nearby table. Beverly Crusher sat with Jack and Walker and looked as though she wanted to flee the party even more than he did.

Giving a speech for a pompous ass like J.P. Hanson was nothing compared to the trepidation he felt about sitting within a meter of Beverly Crusher. About six weeks earlier she had met with him in private just to tell him that she was pregnant. He had demanded to know if she was pregnant with his child, and she had angrily accused him of trying to manipulate her. They had been together for only two weeks or so while Jack was out of town visiting his parents, and it was not beyond the realm of possibility that they could have conceived a child. He hadn't taken a contraceptive injection recently, and apparently neither had Beverly. She hadn't confirmed or denied that the child was his, so the question had been gnawing at his psyche for weeks now. Mid-way through, Jack asked for an open-ended leave to "spend time" with his family.

While it caused him some annoyance shifting around personnel on board the Stargazer the real issue was Jean-Luc's anger and confusion stemming from his last conversation with Beverly. The truth was, before their brief but intense affair, he had only allowed himself to think of Beverly as Jack's wife. He had lusted after her from the safety of his private thoughts for several years. But ever since the affair, she had become a real person to him, full of life and passion. He now truly knew what he had been missing, and was unsure if he could live without her. At the same time, he was deeply hurt by her rejection. When he had believed his aching for Beverly had been merely physical, he could manage. But this was different. What if the baby was his? Would she continue to reject him? Would she ever tell Jack? As he walked toward the table he felt sick to his stomach; like he was rolling out of control but in slow motion.

Finally, he pulled out a chair suitably far enough from his three friends, sitting sideways in case he needed to jump up to leave suddenly.

"Great speech, Captain," Jack said, sliding his friend a beer.

"Thank you," Picard said, opening the drink and taking a big swig. As he set the bottle down he nodded at Beverly and Walker. "Hello," he said simply.

"Hi," said Beverly.

The table fell into an uncomfortable silence, as everyone considered how to retreat. Everyone but Walker. "So are you two planning on staying Earth-bound for the rest of..."

"Until the baby's born," Beverly said, settling back in her chair. She crossed her arms over her stomach which had begun to show.

Jean-Luc finished his beer and put it down on the table with a click. He could feel the alcohol threatening to erode his politeness. "Hmm," was all he said, spinning the empty bottle lazily on the table.

Jack cleared his throat. "Jean-Luc, I thought you understood I would be gone for the rest of the pregnancy."

Picard shrugged and smoothed his hand over the table. "It's fine Jack. Your post will be covered."

Jack wiped his forehead. "Look, I'm sorry if I wasn't clear-"

"Why are you apologizing to him?" Beverly nearly shouted. "He just told you he could handle it."

"I appreciate your commitment to the Stargazer, Jack," Picard said rather pointedly.

Beverly laughed, suddenly animated. "Of course you do. Because isn't that all that you care about? Well, some people care more about commitment to family than to a sad, lonely career, Captain."

He stood up quickly and tossed his napkin on the table. "Goodnight," he said, turning to go.

"Wait...wait," Jack grabbed his arm. "Please...we're all just a little on edge right now."

Picard could feel the blood pounding in his ears, and it seemed to drown out his reply. "Don't apologize. She's right."