Chapter 22

USS Excelsior

Beverly had managed to avoid Felix for two days. In fact, she had pretty much avoided everyone, by working in the main lab away from all but a few colleagues. The resources available in the Excelsior medical facilities were unprecedented and allowed her to get lost in her work. This ship really was a floating city, with a sizable crew of mostly civilians of various species. Designed to sustain itself indefinitely with renewable resources, the Excelsior had the potential to travel beyond even what the outer reaches of space had been so far. At one time the Enterprise had been the Flagship, the cornerstone of Starfleet, but with the Enterprise destroyed on the Q homeworld, the Excelsior was clearly meant to be its replacement. Beverly didn't like thinking about the Enterprise, because it typically made her extremely sad.

Beverly wanted a fresh start. The problem was, reminders of her old life surrounded her constantly; although, hiding on Earth had not been working for her either, as beautiful as Felix's house in Jamaica was.

She was starting to grow hungry and too distracted to properly focus on her work. Closing off the lights in the lab, she leaned against a table in her workspace and crossed her arms, gazing off into the grey walls. She had now fully examined the brain scans from the records sent from Data's ship the Jemison, and there was a clear pattern observed in every crew member who had fallen into a coma. Not all of them had been members of the former Enterprise crew, but certainly, some had. Data now reported that nearly all of his crew had been revived, and most of them were back at their posts with no apparent ill effects. With more of his medical staff back at work, they continued to send her results. To a person, each patient had experienced heavy neurotransmitter activity in the amygdala area of the brain. Since the amygdala controlled the strength of emotional memory, Beverly was fascinated by these results. Had the Jemison's encounter with the anomaly actually exposed them to an alien consciousness? Had it been some kind of probe? Either way, the results needed to be studied further.

The former members of the Enterprise crew experienced significantly more activity in the amygdala than those who had not experienced the bizarre events on the Q homeworld, while non-Human crew members were apparently unaffected by the phenomenon. What had given her even greater pause, was that the brain scans for Walker during his coma showed similar activity, over admittedly, a longer period of time.

Walker hadn't been exposed to the same anomaly as Data's crew but Beverly had re-listened to the news reports related to the disappearance of Data's ship, and there was certainly at least some coincidence; Walker had awoken from a long-term coma, the same day Data's ship re-emerged from the anomaly. As much as she hated to admit it, she should probably speak to Alyssa and see if her research on subjects exposed to the alien virus, could shed some light on recent events.

She was reaching for her lab coat when a wave of nausea hit her, and her head began to ache horribly. Shutting her eyes tightly, she felt frozen in place, and unable to speak. After a moment she found she was no longer in her lab but on a garden path outside on a planet somewhere. The bright sun shone in her eyes, but suddenly she realized where she was. "Labarre," she whispered.

"More or less," said a deep voice up ahead.

She nearly fell to her knees.

Jean-Luc was standing in an archway covered with vines. Beyond him was a white light. His hair was silver, but his skin was young and smooth. He smiled widely at her and reached out his hand as she came nearer. "Beverly, there isn't much time. Please come to me."

"Are..are you real?"

"I am real...inside of your mind," he said. "For now, that is good enough."

"What happened to you?" She took a halting step forward, just as his appearance began to fade into the background.

"Beverly...you must find me," he called out to her as he disappeared, leaving only a garden path lit by the setting sun.

Instantly she was back in the darkened lab, clutching the edge of a table. Jean-Luc. She fumbled for her lab coat, which had fallen at her feet. Scrambling on her hands and knees, she finally found the hypo in a hidden pocket and brought it immediately to her wrist. The dose was higher than it was supposed to be but was exactly as she had hoped. The rush of calm that flowed through her body was just what she needed. Within a few moments, she would forget it all for the rest of the night.

Beverly walked to her quarters feeling numb. She was losing her mind, that was all there was to it. She took a deep breath before she walked inside.

She didn't have to walk far to see that Seth had decided again not to bother with dinner. She'd have to remind him that he needed to eat more than ice cream sodas if he wanted to continue growing properly. She felt a twinge of heartache, as she recalled Wesley at thirteen. He had been the epitome of an awkward teen, with an acute sensitivity about the feelings of others, despite his very logical mind.

A thirteen-year-old Wesley would have recognized that something was wrong with her, and would have given her a hug. Seth would have also done the same, but she didn't want to worry Seth, and as a result, had begun to push him away. She didn't want to plague him with her feelings of anger and inadequacy, but she knew it wasn't fair to him. She and Jean-Luc had been his parents since his rescue from the Borg, but his life with them hadn't protected him from danger as they had wanted. But the one thing that she knew Seth would never question was that he was loved. Losing Jean-Luc was horrible for Seth, and she needed to rise above her own demons to help him come to some kind of peace, even if she couldn't find the same peace herself.

She knocked on his door twice, before she heard a clear "hello" from inside his room.

She steadied herself but was still thrown a bit when she stepped in.

Seth and Guinan were both sitting on the floor next to his bed. They appeared to be meditating. Guinan smiled at her in the kind, quiet way that she had. The El-Aurian stood up and offered her hand. "Hello, Doctor, please come in. I was just leaving."

Beverly bit her lip. "Look, I'm sorry to interrupt, I just thought I would come and see if you were hungry, Seth."

Guinan put a hand on Seth's shoulder before moving to go.

"Wait," Beverly called after her. " Were you meditating? I would like to...well, I could use some relaxation techniques... " When the words came out they sounded too earnest, even desperate.

Guinan regarded her with quiet compassion. "I'm sure you could. And I would be happy to help you with those some other time. But that's not what we were doing," she said seriously.

The room grew still and Beverly suddenly felt claustrophobic and her throat was impossibly dry.

"We were trying to reach Jean-Luc," said Seth. " We were trying to talk to him. "

Beverly, you must find me. Beverly imagined that she had left her body, and yet heard herself ask the question: "And did you...reach him?"

Guinan shook her head and there was a deep sadness in her eyes. "No. I'm afraid not. "

That was when it finally hit her. The wall she had carefully built since his disappearance all those months ago cracked. Beverly brought her hands up to cover her face. "Oh, Jean-Luc. My love...my love is gone," she gasped, nearly falling over. Guinan and Seth each grabbed an arm to help her slowly sit down on the edge of Seth's bed. Unable to stop the waves of intense emotion flowing through her, she wrapped her arms around both of them tightly and began to cry.

USS Hood

"I'm not going to ask you again, Q! What the hell are you up to?"

Q wrapped a magenta chiffon scarf around his shoulders and glared at Riker over some old-fashioned sunglasses. "Could you be more specific?"

"This mysterious person who's been hounding Caine and shutting down his mining operations is Tasha Yar."

"So you claim," said Q. "But even with her track record of bouncing back to life, that's unlikely."

"I know who and what I saw down on that planet," Riker argued. "And it was her. Now, are you telling me that you didn't know about this?"

Deanna sat patiently with her hands folded in her lap. As frustrated as her husband was with Q, at the moment, she sensed little deceit coming from the former omnipotent being. If he knew anything of substance about Yar's possible reappearance, she couldn't sense it.

Q waved his hand dramatically in the air, and then dropped it, looking disgusted with his lot in life. He got up from his seat and walked to the replicator. "Computer, give me my usual drink. "I always forget my limitations," Q said turning back to Riker with a steaming cup.

Riker raised an eyebrow. "Is that..."

"Tea. Earl Grey. Hot? Yes."

Will shook his head. "You're ridiculous."

Q sat back down tossing his scarf over his shoulder with impressive flair. His sunglasses slipped down over the bridge of his nose as he sipped his tea. "That's just my humanity showing, Riker.

Now," he said, placing his cup down gingerly, "If she's back, and that's a big if... you need to find her. She's found a way to prevent Caine from doing exactly what he wants to do-at least for now, which means she must know something of what he wants. Find Yar, and you may have a chance of stopping Caine."

After Q had exited the room, Deanna turned to Will. "He appears to be honest when he says he doesn't know anything about Yar."

Riker slumped down next to her. "Either way I don't trust him."

"You are upset."

He shrugged. "I'm frustrated because I'm not any closer to finding out what Caine is up to."

"How did you feel when you saw her?"

"Oh, so you believe me? Because no one else seems to. Starfleet Command has already questioned the accuracy of my report."

Deanna smiled and put her hand on his knee. "My Imzadi...of course, I believe you. Now, how did you feel?."

He sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "I felt... relieved. I don't know what she's doing exactly, but anyone who wants to stop Caine is an ally to us. So Q is correct, we do need to find her."

"Did she speak to you?"

"No. she seemed confused, but there is no doubt in my mind that she knew who I was."

Once on her ship, Yar fell into the pilot's seat and hit the tracking controls. The long-range sensors showed a small fast ship that was moving steadily towards a destination in Federation territory. Following it would take her a few hours to reach at warp seven, and follow it she would. It was the ship she had tracked with a sensor probe. She knew well enough who was in that ship, although recently she'd had just one intense meeting with the one-man crew; a meeting that had nearly cost both of them everything. This man was not fit to live much longer if she had her way. But where was he headed without Caine to give him orders? She would hunt him down until she found out.

The problem was her state of mind was less focused now, and it wasn't just due to her physical injuries. The emotional surge she had experienced when faced with Caine's weapon brought her back to a time when she had been a human being. If she was a human being still, she didn't feel like one. Her own emotions seemed to her to be absent. Until now she had not questioned why.

She set in the course and then got to her feet stiffly. Nearby a tall tube-like structure stood upright against the wall. Stripping off her armor, Yar limped over to the object and it opened up with a hiss.

This was the closest she would ever come to sleeping, but the tube had a specific purpose. Stepping inside she shut her eyes and waited until a rush of air and the door sealed shut in front of her. Immediately, her wounds began to mend themselves, and her bruised muscles began to heal. Skin that had sustained radiation burns from Caine's weapon began to regenerate. In an hour or so, she would heal enough to engage again in necessary battle.

Two hours later...

Once out of warp, the ship she had been tracking was immediately up ahead. She engaged her cloaking device, and then skillfully guided the ship at a lower velocity, still tailing her enemy. All of a sudden the control panel started going haywire, and she knew immediately what was wrong. She had encountered this phenomenon before many times. The area up ahead was bright white, an expanse of space that appeared to be missing. Her scanner also showed just the anomaly and nothing else inside of it or in the vicinity. But from experience, she knew that the anomaly was merely hiding the objects that had once been there. She calculated the age of the anomaly using data she had gathered from past encounters, and knew it was volatile, but not necessarily impassable. This meant she could enter it, but there was always the chance that she would not be able to leave. Instead, she waited and observed what the enemy ship's next move would be. What she discovered next was unexpected. The lead ship approached the anomaly and then fired a burst of energy that looked remarkably like the energy weapon used by Caine on the planet Rota. The bright anomaly faded gradually, to reveal stars, as well as a large federation station. Still cloaked, her ship trailed the other, which entered a forward docking bay. Punching additional instructions into the navigational panel, she located a docking bay further away and directed her ship to those coordinates. She cut the engines and floated in slowly. Using a useful having code she was able to open the bay doors and drifted inside, still cloaked. The inside of the bay was pitch black and from what she could see there were no other ships.

She latched her ship onto a docking apparatus, and then, securing her suit and helmet, grabbed a simple handheld piston and exited the ship. The environment was nearly zero-g, but she had magnetic plates on the soles of her boots, which allowed her to grip the walkway underfoot. She drew her weapon as she approached the main hatchway, and stopped just outside of it. The writing on the door said: "Federation Detention Facility 2HX. Maximum Security and Rehabilitation".

They were back. Someone was back to find him, and when they did, they would kill him. He heard the hard footsteps of boots, a sound that had been absent for months. When he moved he shuffled on his hands and knees. It was quieter that way, and they would not hear him. He needed to find a hiding place. He knew how to hide for a long time until they gave up and left him alone. But it depended on who was back. There was only one who could force him into the open. Scurrying on his hands and knees, he moved into the abandoned guard mess hall and pulled himself up onto a table. Barely hesitating he jumped with wiry muscles up to the ceiling. Grabbing ahold of an opening he always left for dangerous times like these, he pulled himself up into the ceiling, just as the footsteps grew louder. Then, he heard the sound that he feared the most. It was the Voice.