The morning after her breakdown in front of Guinan and Seth, Beverly felt no embarrassment, just total exhaustion. She had decided to take a walk down into the immense plaza, located on decks 25 thru 27. The so-called "Earth Plaza" was full of lush greenery and recreation areas that were intended to give the sensation of being outside in San Francisco on a warm summer day. The weather patterns in the Plaza varied to a degree, but it was mostly always sunny. The Plaza's yellowish "sun" for obvious safety reasons was not real. The remaining environmental conditions, however, were not holographic, but rather authentically recreated, similar to a transporter imprint or a replicated meal; but on a more ambitious scale. It was impressive and clearly designed to curb the doldrums associated with deep space travel. And despite this inspired effort at keeping the connection to Earth, she still felt disconnected generally from the ship and its crew. She supposed that this might change someday soon, but right now, she was in no rush to interact.
The people who passed by were mainly civilians or scientists, and she noted just a few Starfleet uniforms among them.
It was early enough that fog was slowly lifting, and the simulated sunshine began to warm the area. She began to climb a gradual grassy hill when a still figure at the top caught her eye. Experiencing a visceral reaction, her first thought was, Jack why didn't you tell me?
Beverly had only seen Gilda Stern a handful of times, but she didn't need to be familiar to feel hatred. Without any real self-examination, she did hate Stern, as much as she had hated anyone or anything. Stern was, to her, the reason that Jean-Luc had ultimately decided to turn away from his family and join a scientific project that had continued to pull him away from humanity, and away from her. Of course, she had been angry at him, and for a time had rejected him just as he had rejected her. But she loved him and would continue to do so, even though he was gone, possibly forever.
She continued to climb the hill and now saw that Stern was seated in an anti-gravity assistance chair. Beverly could tell immediately that the woman was partially paralyzed.
Stern rotated the chair, apparently aware of Beverly's presence. Her only reaction was to blink several times fast.
Consumed by an unexpected rage, Beverly suddenly wished that she had a phaser inside of her clenched fist.
"The last time I saw you, Beverly Crusher, you threatened to kill me. By the look in your eyes, not much has changed."
"Where is he?" she managed to choke out.
Stern watched her with steel-grey eyes. "I cannot be certain. But he may be inside a prison-a prison that has gone missing."
"A prison?" Beverly whispered accusingly. "What are you doing to him?"
"Certainly nothing. And as you can see, Beverly, I am quite incapable of doing anything of consequence anymore. I nearly died in that prison myself."
"You nearly died? Aren't you an omnipotent being? Capable of living forever, and impervious to injury?"
"My power is gone, and along with it, my impervious existence."
"And so now, you are sitting here partially paralyzed...but still no Jean-Luc..."
"Had I been capable of doing so, I would have ensured Picard escaped alive. But I could not protect myself, let alone him. As a result, I cannot confirm whether he is alive or dead."
Beverly sat down on a nearby bench and rested her elbows on her knees. She squinted and looked out over the hills as the fog had begun to roll out on the bay. Taking a deep breath, she looked down at her clasped hands. She reached into the pocket of her coat and pulled out the empty hypospray. She held it up for Gilda Stern to inspect. "You see this? This little tube has been my most trusted companion over the last 18 months since Jean-Luc disappeared."
"Medicine," Stern noted flatly.
Beverly let out a short, bitter laugh. "That's one way of putting it." She rubbed her hands on her knees. "I nearly died when he left. Or I thought that I would."
She looked at Stern. "I thought that he had abandoned his family yet again. But now you're telling me that he didn't--"
"No...that is not what I am telling you. Whatever motivation Picard had regarding his family and you...he kept hidden from me. But when I proposed that he go with me, he agreed to put this life behind him."
Beverly stood up. "You bitch! How dare you?"
Beverly stalked away so quickly that she almost stumbled down the hill. Catching herself she turned and faced Stern with tears streaming down her face. "He told me that it was you. You are the one who lured him down to the river when he was a child, and killed his dog, for god sakes. And you are also the one who recruited Tasha Yar when she was just a child. Children! You experimented on children! Have you no shame?"
She watched the quizzical, unchanging expression on Stern's face and let out a bitter laugh. "No, of course you don't. You don't feel shame, love, joy...but you do envy us, don't you? You envy humanity because we still have something special, something special that the Q lost. Well I had something special...I had Jean-Luc. And you stole him from me. Nothing you can ever confess to will ever make up for that loss."
Yar stood inside a cramped security control room. The smell of death pervaded the area, present even through the filter in her helmet. The dead bodies of two guards sat slumped forward in seats where they had been shot in the back of the head. Judging by the decay, they had been here for more than one year.
She moved to the main security panel and checked the security cameras in the perimeter. No movement on the cameras at all.
Abandoned.
She explored the panel for a few more minutes, finding no obvious signs of life. Then something occurred to her and she pulled out a small device and plugged it into the bottom of the panel.
A stream of information sped across the screen in front of her then stopped abruptly.
Access denied. Security voice activation or security credentials required.
She glanced behind her at one of the dead guards, and then with some effort, pulled his security tag free. She waved it in front of the sensor and the screen lit up again.
Define search criteria.
"Prisoner information ... Christopher Caine."
Specify.
"Period of imprisonment."
Christopher Caine, Human, age unknown. Began confinement and rehabilitation on stardate 432561. Status: indefinite confinement.
Hmm. The station computer believed Caine was safely locked away in a prison cell.
"Specify holding cell."
Searching...searching...
She knew that the computer would not answer. It had been programmed by someone to be confused on that particular point.
"Basis for Caine's confinement?"
Christopher Caine was tried and convicted for the murder of Natasha Yar in 2366. "
Should she have felt anything? She did not.
"Cause of Yar's death?'
Classified.
After a moment of hesitation she began to type again. "Search for information on Ishara Yar."
None found.
There it was now. A twinge of something unpleasant and undeniably real.
Her mind returned to a hologram she had encountered on the Q home world. A three second loop of a young woman she believed that she knew. That woman had been wearing a numbered prison uniform. "Computer, identify prisoner 3509."
Prisoner 3509 is deceased.
"When did prisoner 3509 die?"
Classified.
"Cause of death?"
Classified.
She slowly turned away from the console. She stood very still for a moment and considered leaving. That was when she heard a scurrying noise. She slapped the side of the pistol with her palm, and it powered on with a whine.
"I don't know what to think, Jack," said Nechayev. "Beyond the fact that I think she is telling the truth... mostly."
"If Jean-Luc died in that prison, I won't be able to forgive myself. I never told you this directly, but I-"
"You arranged for Stern to leave Earth in a Starfleet runabout? I knew, Jack. When it comes to Starfleet operations there isn't a lot I don't know."
"But I had no idea Jean-Luc would be with her!"
Nechayev lifted her chin. "He made choices, Jack. Increasingly bad choices after returning to humanity. There is no use blaming yourself. And with the prison now missing we may never know the full truth."
Captain Crusher...
"Yes?"
We're receiving a signal from the USS Jemison. We will intercept in ten minutes.
"Very good. Tell Captain Data I look forward to speaking with him. It's been too damned long."
Wesley Crusher sat up in bed and tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes. It was 3 AM and he was coming to terms with the voices in his head. It was the same voice he heard every day, and now only its absence would alarm him. He shrugged on a protective jumpsuit in the dark and headed for main engineering.
He didn't expect to see Geordi LaForge, also awake and at work. Geordi looked over his shoulder with a note of surprise.
"Hey, Wes...can I help you with something?" It's what he would have asked a captain, had they showed up in engineering, unannounced. Wesley appeared to be as close to a commanding officer that the Enterprise had at this time.
Wesley responded with a dull, "hey", before retreating into a corner. The splitting headache was now unbearable. The voice in his head was persistent. Wesley...I'm out here. But you must risk everything to find me...