Chapter 7: A Magical Time
Total confusion reigned for one brief second. The dim light was barely strong enough to show the outline of the furniture, but it was enough for Remus to realize he wasn't in his dorm. With a flash he recognized the small room in the Shrieking Shack. His nose picked up the lingering musky scent of sex. The nether region of his body complained with a slight ache at the invasions it had been subject to the night before. He smiled at the thought. His grin widened as he came fully awake and felt the warmth of another body lying next to him in bed.
Cautiously, Remus turned over to face a slumbering Sirius. Light and dark was the combination of his hair and brows and eyelashes against the paler tones of his skin. Remus watched his companion sleep. Boyfriend? Lover? They'd have to decide what to call each other. He smothered a snort at the thought of the expressions on the faces of Sirius' parents should their son ever present him to them as his werewolf lover. Oh, they would hate that!
Then his smile faded as he compared the warm bond he shared with his devoted parents with the unfeeling, distant relationship that crept like a light-starved plant in the Black household. None of the boys liked to spend time at the Blacks' house, including Sirius. The intimidating, cold and rigid atmosphere ignored the needs of children. Instead, every emotion, every thought, every act was calculated to maintain the luster and reputation of the jewelry of Les Etoiles.
Remus remembered the first time he visited Sirius. He had been twelve when his father had brought him to the Blacks' Cornwall estate in late July. He could still see the calculating glance the impossibly handsome Hadar Black had used to measure the Lupins, father and son. He had taken in their appearance, searched his memory to assess their position in society, and found them wanting. Mr. Black's empty phrases uttered with perfect diction bade them welcome, but his air had been dismissive. Remus recalled how Sirius' posture had stiffened perceptibly in recognition of his father's attitude. His reaction didn't escape Hadar's frosty blue eyes. Turning to Gerard Lupin he had said, in what Remus sensed was a way to show Sirius who had the upper hand, "You have a fine-looking son, Mr. Lupin. A bit on the pale side, but, at least he's not likely to scare away the birds and the beasts like my own ugly duckling here. Sirius has a face that frightens the gnomes out of the garden."
Remus' father had started in surprise, although he recovered himself quickly. He was too polite to say anything rude to his son's host, but Remus saw that he disapproved of the way Mr. Black spoke about Sirius. In fact, Remus knew his father was hiding an immediate dislike of Sirius' father. Remus had silently, but heartily, agreed. He had quite literally felt his hackles rise at the hateful tone and words of Hadar Black.
He mused. It had been the first time he had ever felt fiercely protective of anyone. And it had nothing to do with any sort of wolfish pack mentality. It was because he cared about Sirius, and hated to see him hurt. Remus had come to realize that under Sirius' impassive exterior was a boy who greatly needed the love and support of his friends because he didn't receive those gifts from his family.
Gifts. Remus' mind took off on another tangent. Odd, the way people thought about gifts. Every year for Christmas his parents bought him necessities, but also managed to scrape together money to buy him several expensive, beautifully bound books about subjects in which he'd expressed an interest. One of the great joys of Remus' life was unwrapping new books. He loved their heft and feel and the mingled scent of leather and paper. He loved cracking one open for the first time and letting it take him on a journey in his mind's eye.
Sirius' parents always gave him expensive and lovely jewelry, which he would promptly lock away in his trunk. Last year it had been a platinum and onyx ring. It was enchanted to the night sky and showed Pisces, Sirius' zodiac sign, in diamonds whenever that constellation was visible in the heavens. Remus, James and Peter had thought it quite beautiful. Sirius had only shrugged. Later, when Remus had asked why he didn't like it, Sirius sat silently for a long moment, obviously debating with himself whether to say anything. Finally, he had looked at Remus and his eyes were full of longing. "Yes, it's beautiful. And, yes, most people would be thrilled with this. I guess that shows that I really am the ungrateful sod my parents think I am."
"That's not what's really bothering you about the ring, though, is it?" Remus questioned gently.
"No, not really," Sirius admitted. He frowned, concentrating on finding the right words to describe how he felt. "But, it's so impersonal. It's something they picked off the shelf in the store to give me. They didn't even have to think about it. It was just 'Sirius is a Pisces – give him one of the Pisces rings.' It's expensive and showy and means absolutely nothing. Why can't they just…just find something like…I don't know…Something like a sweater and tell me they got it for me because they thought I'd look nice in it?"
Mentally, Remus shook his head. The Blacks really didn't understand their son at all if they thought that constantly reminding him of his gem-laden heritage would make him enthusiastically embrace a career in their business. A grimace of pure dislike flashed across the young man's face. Why didn't they ever see Sirius for what he was? Mr. Black thought he would eventually succeed in threatening or browbeating Sirius into accepting his destiny. And Mrs. Black wasn't much better, concerned as she was with organizing or attending the right social affairs. It seemed that Sirius was always coming back to Hogwarts with tales of the screamingly boring parties he'd been forced to attend, especially now that he had grown into the same good looks as those possessed by his father.
"They show me off like I'm one of their glittering diamonds. I swear if they could put me into a gold setting, dangle me from a gold chain and sell me to some rich society type, they'd do it." Sirius had said after the Christmas holidays of their fifth year. His tone had been joking and they had all laughed, but there was an undercurrent of something else. Grinning, James inadvertently stumbled across it. "You mean they'd kill several birds with one stone. They'd make some money off your miserable hide and make you realize that they own you. That Les Etoiles owns you."
All traces of amusement had vanished from Sirius' face. "Yes."
Remus' eyes caressed the sleeping face next to him and a smile pulled at his lips. The Blacks hadn't yet succeeded in bending Sirius to their will. And, he doubted they ever would. Sirius could be maniacally driven if set on a course in which he believed. Just look at the way he had refused to give up on the Animagus transformation, even though it took them years to figure it all out. No, if the Blacks wanted Sirius to be the crown prince of Les Etoiles, they'd have to break him first.
As if feeling the soft touch of Remus' gaze upon his skin, Sirius eyes fluttered open. He smiled and his eyes drifted shut as he burrowed into Remus' warm flesh. "Good morning," Remus whispered.
"Shhh. Too early to get up…" Sirius mumbled. "Need more sleep…"
Remus didn't reply, except to pull Sirius closer. The dark head turned and Remus felt a soft kiss on his shoulder.
"You called me Paddy last night," Sirius said in a hoarse, bedroom voice.
"Mmmhmm." Remus agreed.
"Paddy. No one else calls me that."
Remus refrained from commenting that if Sirius truly wanted to go back to sleep, he should probably stop talking. The lips pressed against his skin curved into a smile. "I liked it."
"Good. Go back to sleep, Paddy."
Days flowed together seamlessly through autumn's golden haze. For Remus and Sirius, everything they saw or touched seemed infused with the clear, bright light. An almost ethereal brilliance emanated from everything around them. Food tasted better, jokes were funnier, blankets warmer, stars more plentiful. Time flew by and stood still, all at once. The only constant, the sole touchstone that each had in this giddy whirl was the other. They blessed their luck in being in the same year, the same dorm room, and now, the same bed.
Autumn gave way to winter. As the Yule Ball approached, the dating grapevine was starved for information, especially regarding Sirius, who was on everyone's list of top three best-looking guys in school. It seemed that each new day brought whispers linking a different girl's name to his. Sirius remained silent on the subject, his reticence stifling all attempts to pry that elusive name from him. Even the most aggressively curious students were unsuccessful. Getting information from Sirius was like trying to scale glass.
The Ball was actually low on Sirius' list of priorities. It was to take place the night after a full moon and if Remus felt too ill to attend, then Sirius saw no point in going. Remus, while pleased at this display of loyalty, thought it silly for Sirius to give up a party only to watch him sleep his way back to health. What Remus really wanted was for them to use the occasion to formally come out and let the world know they were together. Unfortunately, he couldn't guarantee he'd feel up to it. Finally, after much discussion and repeated urging from his roommates and Lily, Sirius decided to spend some time at the Ball, but leave early to return to Remus.
The Great Hall blazed with candles. Stately Christmas trees, aglow with magical lights and shimmering crystal icicles lined the walls. The students dressed in their finery rivaled the magnificence of the decorations. Sirius arrived a few minutes late, after Remus' insistence that he go have a good time finally drove him from their room. However, garbed as he was in rich crimson dress robes, Sirius' entrance into the Great Hall was not at all unobtrusive. He was breath-taking and hundreds of eyes slewed around to drink in the sight of him before a wildfire of gossip swept through the students. "He's alone." "Look, Black's attending stag." "Did he ask anyone?" "Who would have turned him down?"
As Sirius approached the drinks table, Evan Rosier stepped into his path, his date at his side, with Andrew Avery snickering over his shoulder. Rosier's sneering grin belied his sympathetic tone. "Well, well, Black. Couldn't scrape up a date? Tsk, tsk, tsk. What a pity."
Severus Snape, whose arm possessively encircled fellow Slytherin Moira Connolly, joined them. "You have my deepest sympathy, Black. It's a shame to be alone on such a festive occasion."
Sirius smiled enigmatically at them as he gracefully sidestepped their blockade, and continued on his way. He chatted with other students and sampled the food. He danced several times when he was asked, but only with those whom he had firm platonic friendships. Most of his time was spent driving James and Peter mad asking for the time.
"Bloody bollocks, Sirius!" Peter finally erupted in exasperation. "It's three minutes later than when you asked before. You've got a perfectly fine watch sitting in your damn trunk. Why the hell don't you use it, instead of making the rest of us crazy?"
"I'm sorry, Peter." Sirius was somewhat nonplussed by Peter's outburst. "Everything seems to be dragging. I should just shove off back to the dorm."
"Oh, no! Not yet. You haven't danced with me!" Lily's plaintive voice interrupted.
Sirius grinned at her. "Alright, then, Lily, let's go!"
James reached out and grabbed Sirius by the arm, as the two were about to join the crowded dance floor. "Padfoot. Remember. When you come back after this dance, you will have only killed five minutes. So don't come bothering us about the ruddy time!"
Giggling, Lily slipped an arm around her partner and fairly dragged him onto the floor. They spun around in the whirl of happy students. Sirius ignored the occasional flirty looks other girls flashed at him. The song came to a close and then the music slid into a slow number, soft and romantic. As Sirius turned to escort Lily back to James a hand tapped him on the shoulder. "May I have this dance?"
Spinning around in surprise, Sirius' gaze latched on to beautiful, if weary, hazel eyes. Remus stood before him, in the same dark green dress robes he had worn last year. The sleeves and hem were a little short. The fabric was a bit snug across the shoulders. And there was still a faint stain on the left front where Snape had accidentally on purpose spilled a glass of punch. He looked gorgeous. Sirius smiled his first genuine smile of the evening. "Yes," he replied.
Remus slid his arms around the tall, lithe body that eagerly sought his touch. They melted into one another, swaying to the gentle strains of the melody. Sirius couldn't stop smiling, his eyes dancing back and forth over the finely shaped features of his lover. The avidity of his look made Remus blush. "So, are you having fun, Padfoot?"
"I am now."
"Good. I wanted one dance with you tonight and then I'm going back to bed."
"Can I join you?"
Remus chuckled. "Of course, but I'm fair to middling useless. I'm still pretty knackered."
"That's okay, as long as you're curled up against me when you fall asleep."
"It sounds like heaven."
Their words ceased and they finished the dance speaking only through their eyes. As the final notes faded, the gap between their mouths closed and they stood still, locked in a tight embrace and an ardent kiss. They ignored the murmurs that radiated out from where they stood at the epicenter of a gossip earthquake. By the time the news of Remus and Sirius flashed to the far reaches of the room, everyone seemed to be taking credit for knowing about them all along. The pair in question, arms about each other, made their way towards the door. Sirius caught James' eye across the crowded room and grinned at him. James gave him a thumb's up sign.
They had almost reached the door when Sirius had his second Slytherin confrontation of the night. Avery, Rosier and Snape, still with Moira in tow, stepped up close to them. Snape's lip curled disdainfully. "I should have known the two of you were queer. It explains so much that's disgusting about you."
Remus smiled evenly back at him. "And, it explains the attraction you have for us, the way you always follow us around. I guess the question now is which of us do you want more?"
Eyes blazing at Remus, Snape drew breath to retort. Sirius leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Sevvy."
Snape jumped back as if scalded. Moira's hand flew over her lips, but that didn't hide the bright flash of laughter that shone in her eyes. The other two couldn't think of anything to do, other than gape. Ignoring them, Sirius and Remus left.
Thoughts of the Slytherins quickly faded from their minds. In less than fifteen minutes they had returned to the dorm, stripped off their robes, and slipped into bed. Both opted for pajamas, since the castle air was dank and chilly. Remus happily burrowed next to Sirius, in their blissful multi-layered cocoon of bed curtains, soft sheets, warm blankets and downy comforter. Snuggling close, he wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist, his face pressed into Sirius' neck. He loved the feel of the sleek back under his hands even through the pajama top. Sirius reached around to scoop him even closer, nuzzling into the downy hair that smelled so bracingly clean. He had never been happier.
"I'm happier than I've ever been," Remus murmured in an uncanny echo of Sirius' thoughts. His warm breath curled into the hollow of Sirius' throat. He felt his lover's expressive lips curve into a smile. "Me, too," he whispered.
Content with the scent and feel and presence of each other, they slept.