Chapter 11 The Note
James abruptly pulled Remus into an empty classroom.
"What are you doing, James? I'm going to be late for Arithmancy." Remus snapped. He'd been bubbling like a deadly potion simmering in a cauldron all day.
"Oh, calm down. You and Sirius are driving me nuts. What the hell is going on with you two?"
Remus glared at him with such ferocity that James took a half step back. Belatedly he remembered the full moon was tonight.
"You want to know what happened?" Remus snarled. "Ask Sirius. He tells you everything, doesn't he? Go talk to him. Maybe the two of you can put your heads together and come up with a plausible excuse. Even if you can't, you'll probably get a good laugh about how stupid the werewolf is!"
Remus pushed past James as the dark-haired boy asked in confusion, "An excuse for what? What are you...Remus, wait!"
The shorter boy halted, but didn't turn around. Tentatively, James touched Remus' shoulder as he slowly walked around to peer into the livid face. That fine-boned, expressive face was not made to reflect this level of anger. It hurt to see it. "Listen, Remus. I can see you're really furious right now. But, there is a full moon tonight, and you know that usually makes your emotions a little over the top."
James realized his mistake too late.
"None of this is my fault, Potter! Don't you dare blame what I am for what Sirius did!" Hands clenched, he wanted nothing more right now than to land a punch right in the middle of James's puzzled face. "Sirius wasn't sick! He was busy fucking someone…" The sentence died as Remus's hurt momentarily overcame his anger. "And I believed him when he said he loved…" Remus started to stalk off, but spun around on a fresh wave of fury to glare at James once more. "I want all of you to just bugger off tonight! Just stay the fuck away from me!"
Sirius had a pounding headache. He couldn't concentrate on his classes. Angry, painful, confused thoughts swirled like a maelstrom in his head, threatening to overwhelm him. His parents, Groot. And Dumbledore wasn't here, and Binns kept droning on and on and Remus's implacable anger lit up one side of the room. It was all beginning to take on an air of unreality. He slipped his hand in his pocket, knowing Groot's note would make it all real to him again.
The note was gone.
Sirius's hands scrabbled through the pockets in his robes. Nothing except the small bag of diamonds. He didn't drop the note somewhere in the corridors, did he? Frantically he burrowed through his trouser pockets. Then his book bag. It had to be here. Somewhere.
It wasn't.
The note had his name on it. If anyone found it…Fuck. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…
Why hadn't he incinerated it? What the hell had he been thinking? And, now, how would he find it?
He'd retrace his steps and go over every bit of ground that he'd covered since breakfast. He had to do it now. That meant skiving off McGonagall's class. Well, he had to. He had to find that fucking note!
Without any warning, Sirius slipped out of his seat and left the room. Binns droned on, oblivious.
His footfalls sounding loud in his ears down the empty corridor, Sirius began reconstructing his travels, his eyes darting into every dim corner looking for the pale piece of parchment with no success.
The halls began to fill with students heading to their last class of the day. Sirius pushed through them, an edge of panic starting to set in. He didn't even notice Snape until the Slytherin was right next to him.
"From me to you, Black," he breathed, slipping a piece of parchment into Sirius' hand. Then he strode down the hall without a backward glance.
Sirius' stomach dropped to the floor. Fuck! Why did it have to be Snape who found the note?
But, no, this wasn't his note. This parchment was smooth and unflawed. Maybe it was some stupid joke, a hexed bit of paper. 'Fine. Who cares? Let it turn my hair green or give me boils….'
Sirius opened it and saw Snape's firm handwriting.
'Black,
I came across an interesting piece of mail with your name on it. If you want it back, meet me tonight at 7:00 behind the greenhouses. Come alone.
I have not yet shown it to anyone else. If you don't show up, it'll be all over school tomorrow.
SS'
"FUCK!"
Dumbledore appeared, a little late, at dinner. Seeing the Headmaster show up a day earlier than expected gave Sirius the first glimmer of hope he'd had since returning to school. He'd try to see Dumbledore tonight. But first he had to talk to Snape.
At 6:55 Sirius showed up behind the greenhouses, his breath clouding around his head in the sharp winter air. Snape was nowhere to be seen. The first edge of the full moon rose above the horizon. Sirius paced nervously through the snow. He stopped abruptly as Snape glided up.
"Right on time, Black. I do admire punctuality. But, then, I suppose you're eager to get that letter back in your hands."
"What do you want, Snape?" Sirius couldn't see his adversary's face clearly in the dim light, but he was sure he saw a pleased, little smile.
"Didn't take you long to get to the bargaining part, did it, Black?" Snape's head tilted to one side. "What do I want?" He mused aloud. A muscle at the corner of Sirius' eye twitched with impatience.
"Well, for starters, it's much too dark here. The moon's not high enough yet to illuminate our little tete-a-tete. And I want to watch you while we talk. I want to see you try to keep up that cool, collected façade. Because we both know what's behind it, don't we? Raise your wand and light up your pretty face, Black."
After a few moments hesitation, Sirius muttered "Lumos." He tried to hide that he was gritting his teeth in suppressed anger.
Snape noticed, and his dark, narrow face shone with radiant joy as he stared at Sirius. "This note gave some interesting insights into the workings of your family business, Black. What a story to tell the Daily Prophet! I can just see the headline – 'Stars for Sale! Black Sells Son for Diamonds!' Does Daddy sell your sister too, or is it just you?"
"I know it's hard for you, Snape, but try not to be an idiot," Sirius sneered. "You're jumping to the wrong conclusions, as usual. That note says nothing about anyone being for sale. Although, with your lack of a sex life, I can understand how you'd find it titillating."
"I'd watch my tone if I were you, Black," Snape said levelly. "Anyone with half a brain can read between the lines and see exactly how your father used you. You weren't at that dinner to charm anyone with your sparkling wit. You were there to be a sex toy, a whore, for daddy's business friend."
Sirius didn't reply.
"Nothing to say? If you want that note, you'll answer my questions. And you'll be polite and respectful at all times." He slowly paced once around Sirius, the snow crunching under his boots.
"Let's try again. Are both you and your sister whores for Les Etoiles?"
Sirius drew in one silent, deep, steadying breath. "No."
"It's just you, then. Hmmm. I wonder what Daddy does if he needs to offer an additional incentive to a woman? I mean, knowing your predilections, would you even know what to do with a woman? Or does Daddy only sell you to men?"
"Forget your twisted, little fantasies, Snape! You have no idea what you're talking about." Sirius struggled to keep his voice level.
"Fantasies? Oh, no, I don't think so. I think the note made it very clear. Your client was quite effusive in his praise of your performance. Or, should I say, of his purchase." His voice stretched the last syllable into a low hiss. He leaned in close to whisper in Sirius' ear. "My sweet Sirius. Isn't that what he called you? What else did the note say? That your beauty is rivaled only by the talents of your hands, your mouth and your tongue? That he'd like to include you as a permanent clause in the 'gentlemen's agreements' with your father? Is that what the note said, sweet Sirius?"
Snape couldn't hear the snarling voice inside Sirius's head. 'I hate you, you fucking, perverted, little prick!'
"Yes." Sirius muttered aloud.
"I'm sorry? I didn't hear you clearly."
"Yes!" Sirius spat out the word. Snape resumed his measured strides, circling Sirius, a predator intent on his prey.
"Then you freely admit you're a whore for your father? That he's your pimp?" Snape didn't bother trying to hide the amusement in his voice. Sirius's free hand clenched into a fist. Again he felt rage boiling through his veins. His mind leaped crazily, seeking some way to respond that would leave him at least a shred of dignity. He didn't see one.
"This never happened before, Snape."
A disbelieving snicker came over his shoulder. "A likely story. But, never mind. The important part is that you admit you're a nothing more than a fancy rent boy, a whore who will crawl on all fours to anyone Daddy sells you to," Snape stopped, standing in front of Sirius. "Isn't that so?"
'Just give him what he wants and he'll get tired of the game,' Sirius thought. Aloud he said, "Yes."
Snape's black eyes bored into Sirius' face. He raised one hand and cupped it gently across Sirius' cheek. Sirius couldn't keep quite still, instinctively snapping his head away from the unwanted touch. But the hand followed him, claimed his face again. Snape's thumb tenderly stroked Sirius' lips and he purred, "Then say it. Tell me what you are, Black."
Sirius felt frissons of electricity jerking through his muscles as he struggled to keep himself from leaping at his hated rival. Snape saw him tremble and a look of pure satisfaction crossed his face. Sirius was a hairsbreadth away from pounding him into a bloody mess. His stomach ached with the effort of staying calm. Steadily he said, "I'm a whore."
The thumb came back, caressing across Sirius's lips. "I admit you do have my respect, Black. Judging from your admirer's note, you're a high quality whore. One who gives full value to his purchaser. I'm sure you're good at it because you like it. It's another thrill for you, isn't it, to be a sex slave, obeying all your master's commands, doing whatever he tells you. Isn't that right?"
The memory of a Groot's candlelit bedroom swam into Sirius's vision. He once more smelled sex-drenched air, heard the oily voice telling him what to do, felt the older man as he thrust, grunting, into Sirius. A steady hiss echoed in his head like the lit fuse of some immense, angry bomb threatening to detonate. He realized it was his own breath coming sharp through his teeth.
"Isn't that right?" Snape repeated.
"Yes," Sirius snarled, hating this, hating every second, hating every fucking thing that had gone wrong, that he could no longer stop.
Smiling triumphantly, Snape whispered, "Good boy." Groot's voice echoed in Sirius' brain. "good boy…good boy…"
Sirius felt his control slipping. He'd never hated anyone as much as he hated Snape right now.
"You know, Black. Maybe I should put your talents to good use." Snape resumed walking his slow circles. "I could keep that note as collateral for your obedience while I sell you to the highest bidder. I'm sure there are one or two young men at Hogwarts who'd love to fuck you. Slytherins, of course. I wouldn't want to sully your body with mixed breed or Mudblood cocks."
"You're a sick bastard, Snape! You-"
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Don't anger me, Black," Snape said warningly, waving an admonitory finger in Sirius' face. After a moment he continued, his voice calmly conversational. "Oh, yes. I quite like the idea of making you serve whomever I wish. And, really, the money isn't important, although the thought of someone handing me galleons to get my permission to use your body is quite appealing."
Sirius could feel the clenched muscles of his jaw quivering. He knew Snape could see it, too, as evidenced by his delighted grin.
"No, it's the power to make you do what I want. I can play with you. You're my toy. My bright, shiny new toy. And, of course, I'll share you with my friends. Should I charge them? No, I think not. I think they can have you for free. I know Lestrange isn't doing anything right now. Let's go find him, shall we? We'd both love to see the look on your face when I tell you to get down on your knees and suck his cock."
The phrase 'seeing red' suddenly made sense. Sirius' vision seemed tinged with blood as he exerted one last supreme effort to hold his rage in check. Snape didn't want to bargain; he wanted to humiliate. Fuck that. It was time to call his bluff. If that didn't work, Sirius would beat his face in. He'd have nothing to more to lose.
"Forget it, Snape! If Lestrange needs a fuck, why don't you bend over for him?" Sirius started walking back to the castle.
"Black! I'm warning you! Take one more step and I'll make the note public!"
Sirius stopped and growled, "Then name your price, Snape. And do it now."
Snape hesitated for just a second, but it was enough for Sirius to sense a slight wavering in his resolve. A little of his confidence returned. He had the measure of his adversary.
"Alright, then," Snape said slowly, his demeanor once more smoothly assured. "What do I want from you in exchange for the note? What do I really want?"
Sirius knew. He was suddenly absolutely positive what Snape would demand. He'd wanted it for years. The taunting had been for his own dark amusement and to mislead Sirius into a greater willingness to reveal what he knew and what Snape desperately wanted to know. Sirius almost smiled. It was perfect. Snape wouldn't be amused for long. And, if Remus wouldn't talk to him, wouldn't even give him a chance to explain, then he could bloody well deal with the consequences when Snape came trotting up that tunnel. Fuck both of them! Just ask the question, Snape.
Snape leaned close to him. "Tell me where Lupin goes every month and I'll keep quiet about the note."
Vicious joy surged through Sirius. 'Got you, you bastard! And won't you be surprised to find what's waiting for you?'
He didn't speak right away. Let Snape think he still had the upper hand. He delayed a few more seconds and then said, "He goes through a passage under the Whomping Willow. He's there tonight."
Snape's eyes narrowed in suspicion. Sirius waited for several heartbeats, and then made the offer he knew Snape wouldn't be able to resist. "Give me the note and I'll show you how to get in."
Snape thought about it, examined it from all sides to detect any tricks. He saw none. Snape nodded. "Done. I'll hand it over when I'm in the passageway."
Warily, they crossed the grounds side-by-side. Once near the tree, Snape called out "Accio parchment!" and the note flew into his hands from where it had lain hidden under some bushes. He held it up for Sirius to see. The Gryffindor nodded, and, grabbing a long branch, pushed at a knot at the base of the tree.
As Snape handed the note back, he warned, "If you've double-crossed me, I'll tell everyone about what your father does with you, whore!"
"I haven't double-crossed you," Sirius muttered, trying his best to sound defeated. Snape vanished into the passageway. Sirius, note in hand, walked back towards the Castle. He felt light-headed and curiously empty. All the thoughts and emotions that had buffeted him from within had vanished, leaving him numb. That was good. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to feel.
Two people pausing by a third-floor window noticed the figures by the Willow. Cupping their hands around their faces to cut off the light from the torches on the wall, Peter and James tried to identify who was lurking around the tree. "It's Sirius." Peter said. "But who's that with him? It can't be-"
"It's Snape!" James' exclamation confirmed Peter's suspicions. "But what are they doing? Sirius wouldn't…Bloody, fucking hell! Is he insane!"
James sprinted for the stairs, heading for the front door. "Get Dumbledore!" He shouted over his shoulder. Peter ran for the Headmaster's office.