No Need for Ron!
Chapter 1
Introductions Are In Order.
I.
Ron sighed as he ran the worn rag over the same spot yet again. No matter how much he tried though he just couldn't get the burnt remains of the offering out of the rock wall.
"Damn I don't see why I got to clean this thing." His voice echoed clearly through the rock walls.
'You did blow up the food offering you know.'
Frowning Ron rejected that last though instead choosing to descend further into self pity. He always hated visiting his grandfather. He was Jewish for the love of all the way holy and here he was cleaning up some Shinto shrine to some dragon lady.
"Thanks Dad for moving to Japan for a year so I can go to school and train with Grandpa. It's been Badical!" His voice clearly showed his disgust with the idea of being here that long.
'What self respecting man lives alone on a mountain anyway?'
Ron thoughts though changed when his eyes feel upon the shrine one true treasure. Before him was a plain worn metal sheath with a beautiful hilt sticking out. The hilt appeared to be made by some technique of weaving wood together with three bright green jewels stuck in it. The jewels sparkled in the light forming a perfect equilateral triangle. Ron frowned at yet another math term that caused him nothing but headaches.
'Well I think I've earned a break and what man can turn down such a temptation.'
With that Ron easily reached out and grabbed the blade. With a mighty tug he freed the fearsome weapon.
"Shoot!"
Staring down he mentally cursed at he saw what was left of the rusted blade. The blades battle usefulness long gone as it continued it long rusting death.
'Some scared blade that turned out to be.' With that thought Ron swung the blade down in disgust against the sacred stone in front of him. Of course the blade shattered and the stone broke in half.
'Wait broke in half.' Staring opened mouth Ron looked down at his handy work only to be distracted by a grating sound behind him.
Looking back he saw the back of the cave slowly spilt open. Too shocked to move he just stared. Soon the wall stopped and nothing else moved in the shrine.
"Um...I think Grandpa will be upset about this."
'Face Grandpa or go down the dark scary tunnel in hopes of finding something to make him happy. Well no choice there I'm not facing that.'
With the lesser of two evils chosen Ron went down the dark scary tunnel. At first it was no more then a rocky tunnel. Like any other tunnel it had water and various other things but soon he found something new and interesting. At the bottom of the tunnel was a strange room. Running through the odd floor were various groves that led to a pool in the center.
"Wonder what's in there."
With a shrug Ron walked forward and bent down.
"Come out scary blood sucking monster." Laughing Ron failed to notice the mummified hand that reached out of the pool. That was until it reached up and touched his face.
Screaming Ron feel back pulling away from the pool. "I was only joking!"
Watching in horror he noted that the grooves along the room had light up with some strange glowing liquid and which flowed at a rapid pace into the pool. His mind then snapped to more immediate concerns. Rising before him was what he had only seen in horror movies. A real life mummy with the white hair and darkened leather skin was coming to life.
Not waiting for any of its grasping hands to reach him Ron turned promptly around and ran screaming up and out of the tunnel.
"Got to seal ancient evil! O why did I have to awaken ancient evil!"
His panicked mind noting that the stone splitting had caused the problem he reason that fixing that should end the problem. Reaching out and grabbing a continentally place nearby robe the quickly set to tightening the rope around the rock. With a smile he noted that the door started to close until it stopped. Hearing the rustling sound approach he redoubled his efforts.
"Come on seal the evil. Seal the evil!" With one last tug the stone came fully together closing the back entrance of the shrine. Not wishing to test his luck further he quickly got up and ran like crazy carrying only the sword hilt with him.
II.
"Hey Ron man you look a little worse for wear." A young boy in a wheel chair came in close towards his friend.
"Hey Felix what's up." Ron sat up straight in his seat noting the quickly leaving students. A few of his friends though had gathered around his desk.
"What is the matter Stoppable-san?" A young Asian girl leaned forward glancing as Ron face with concern. Her perfectly groomed black hair falling forward to slightly obscure her face.
"Nothing much Yori. Just having a little problem with dried up old hags recently." Rom attempted to smile but it failed miserably.
"I'm sorry to hear that Stoppable-san. If you need any help with that I would of course provide assistance in anyway. Even if it is to relive any pent up stress." Her voice had lowered by the end to a bare whisper that only Felix and Ron could pick up on. The others though only shared a knowing look figuring it out a long time ago.
"No need to worry Yori. Don't want to bother you after all." With a smile Ron got up and patted her on the shoulder before turning and walking out.
Following after him Felix called out to his friend. "Dude you must have one hot girl back home!"
"Why?" Ron turned around confusion evident on his face.
"Because of what you just said to Yori. I mean man!"
"Why would Yori and me having a girlfriend relate. Besides I got no one back home. You know that."
"You're kidding right?" Felix looked up at his friend and frowned. "Your not are you. Stoppable you don't deserve to be this lucky."
"I'm not following."
"Never mind so what's actually managed to break the Stoppable mental bearer to cause you worry?"
"Um...Felix I don't know how to say this but I think I awoken some ancient evil. I mean man...Felix?"
Ron looked around for his suddenly missing friend only to find him chatting with an attractive Japanese student. No don't talking about the differences between American boys and Japanese boys. Ron never could figure out what the heck he was going on about.
Deciding to skip the next period Ron moved towards his favorite napping spot. A rarely used classroom. Sitting down Ron got ready to catch up on some lost sleep.
III.
"Did anyone tell you you're cute when your asleep." A feminine voice next to his ear startled Ron awake. Looking towards the offender he gasped in surprise.
"Flying lady!" Though a panicked description Ron could find no better word for this. Staring down at him an attractive older woman floated above the classroom. Her long black hair cascaded down her shoulders while her green tinted skin glowed in the moonlight.
'Wait...green skin. That is so wrong and sick!'
"Aren't you a clever one? Now I got a request and I want to know if you can fulfill it." Her purring voice echoed through the dark room as Ron gulped loudly.
"What is it?" His voice cracked in fear as he looked up towards her.
"Simple little request. I want you to die!" With that she lifted up her hands which were suddenly incased in green fire.
"Ah man!" Ron couldn't help but note that he had a dream once that was similar. An attractive woman causing his death. If he remembered correctly though the death had been a lot more pleasant.
With that the woman in the air flung out her deadly green ball of light. Ron using rarely called upon reflexes dodge to the side just as the desk he was at moments before erupted in explosive flames.
"Ah! You dodge. That's a bad boy!" With that the woman set out to fix that little problem.
Ron not wishing to end his existence yet did the only thing he could. He ran.
Dodging past various balls of light he ran down the hallway even as the explosions followed him. Noting to his sick dread the woman actually seemed to be able to move through the walls. Escaped was proving to be harder then he thought.
'Ok Stoppable a crazed woman chasing you what do you do? I know I'll get a really big gun.'
Looking around for his gun he came to another realization that night. He didn't own one.
'Damn the NRA was right!'
Running down the stair he couldn't help but notice the crazed laughter following him. That and the odd smell.
'Wait that smells almost like gas. Gas!'
'Got to hurry! Got to hurry! Can't get blown up. Don't want to die!'
That line of though came to a sudden halt as the woman came through the wall in front of him.
"Got you sweetie. Now I'm going to...well you know." With a smile she raised her hand.
"Wait! What's that over there?" Pointing wildly Ron motioned towards the right.
'Damn that won't work. Come up with another plan now Stoppable.'
"Where? I don't see it. What are you pointing at? Tell me!" The flying woman now distracted stared off towards the right.
Not wanting to waste this chance Ron quickly ran out of the building.
IV.
"I don't see it." Turning back she noted the absence of her target.
"He lied to me! I don't like being lied to!" Raising her hand she felt electricity crackle around her fist.
V.
Having barely cleared the building he suddenly felt a shockwave slam into his back. Flying forward he came to a sliding halt a few feet away.
"Ow!" Turning back he noted the now burning building.
Getting up Ron respectfully turned towards it and started to dance. "Who's your daddy? I'm bad you're sad. Your fried I'm not. You're sad I'm glad. Ha ha. Booyah!"
"Look at my hair!" Ron felt his heart stop at the familiar voice behind him. Turning around slowly he noted a rather singed crazy woman.
"You'll pay for that kid!" Reaching out she grabbed him by the shoulder and the screamed.
'Wait she screamed?' Noting this Ron stepped back slowly as she blew gently on her smoking hand.
"I see you have the sword kid. Hand it over or I'll take it from you."
"What sword?"
"The one in the shrine idiot. Now give it to me!"
She's afraid of it! Reaching quickly into his pocket he brought it out and held it up.
"Glad to see your being rational here." Reaching out she made to grab the hilt.
Ron noted with satisfaction as a blue aura appeared around the blade shocking the crazy woman. Pulling back she cursed quickly.
"Fine then just die!" She simply lifted one hand as a green ball started to grow on it.
Acting without think Ron raised the hilt and slash it down. A bright blue blade appeared for a brief second severing her arm off at the elbow. Staring in shock both parties looked at the now burning limp a green jewel appearing for a second before it too burned away.
"I...I'm sorry I didn't mean to cut your arm off." Ron backed away in shock.
Smiling the woman lifted her other hand and placed it on the stub. Lifting slowly Ron watched in shock as her arm reappeared as if by magic. With a flourish of hand and a quick applause she drifted back and through the fence.
"Till next time kid."
Ron dropped to the ground before finally deciding to head on home. It was one crazy day.
VI.
Ron opened up the door to his house and slumped over made his way to his room. Opening the door he threw down his backpack and sat down on the bed. Leaning back he rested his hands on the soft lump. He registered a light groan when he did.
'Great now my lumpy bed is groaning! Wait...beds don't groan and my bed isn't lumpy.'
Throwing back the covers he found a smiling raven haired green tinted woman lying on his bed.
"Hi names Shego. So what do you got to eat rommie?"
VII.
A gentle wish of cold air bellowed out of a wooden chamber. Shortly after an attractive young woman stepped out. Adjusting the headpiece on her head she yawned mightily. Tucking an errant strand of red hair back into place she walked over to the controls.
"Welcome Princess Kimberly how was your rest." A computer automated voice spoke even as a floating holographic screen appeared.
"I was frozen what do you think! How long?" Kim noted the clear annoyance in her tone but she couldn't help it. She was always annoyed after extended stays in cold sleep.
"Six months and fourteen days Princess."
"That's all. Why did you wake me!"
"Because we have found the criminal Princess. As order we thawed you out."
"You found her that quickly! How?"
"This ship is top of the line Princess. It was an easy task. What is your wish?"
"What do you mean what is my wish. Attack already!" Sitting down on a chair nearby she waited eagerly. Finally her people would have their revenge.
She squeaked when red little screens appeared with timers on them. The screens surrounded the surprised princess their insistent beeping blocking out all other sound.
"Princess the statue of limitations as set out by the council of Jurai has made it clear the Shego crimes will no longer be punishable in 3..2..1..0. Shego is now a free woman."
"What!"
"As stated by the Jurai council no criminal will be charged for their crimes if such crimes have occurred after a set..."
"I know what the rules are." Kim turned quickly towards the screen.
"Attack anyway."
"But Princess."
"That's an order!" She leaned forward with a smile. "I won't let her slip away this time."
"Yes princess."
The mighty battleship of Jurai prepared for battle as its many laser turrets popped out of its once smooth wooden hall. Its target still blissfully unaware.
To be continued...
A/N: Well I promised to start this story. I did! Anyway I think this for once hasn't been done before. Not like this anyway. I beat ClassicCowboy out for once! Anyway hope you enjoyed.
Well now for notes. Well this mirror the plot of Tenchi Muyo. Heck no! I'm changing that thing around though there will be similarities. Like villains for example will be introduce in similar matters. Since I can't remember a lot of the show though I'm not afraid of copying too closely. Also I only support of age pairings. I'm not like the creators of the original story. Anyway hoped you liked it.
As always Review! If you want more give me a reason to write more!
Disclaimer: I don't own KP or Tenchi. It's obvious but hey why not posts this. It adds to my word count.