"Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement." Mark Twain.
Mommy what's that Bright Light in the Sky?
I.
"Did I ever tell you how beautiful you look?"
Ron watched as the green eyes in front of him widen with shock and fear. He noticed how her lips parted for a second as she quickly inhaled. She was probably right about to scream her head off and who could blame her. Strange man appears out of nowhere, gets on top of you while you sleep, and then makes a comment about your appearance. That would scare any normal girl after all.
"It's not what you think honest." He shot her his usual goofy grin hoping to calm her down. Instead he got a fist in the face.
'Ow!'
"Ow!" Raising his hand to his face he lifted himself off enough to allow the girl under him to raise her feet up. Ron, while still rubbing his bruised face, felt her feet make contact on his chest. Looking down dumbly he was unable to react in time when she pushed her legs out with as much force as she could. Tumbling over his head hit the ground first.
"You Pig! Scoundrel! Rapist! Fiend!" Ron blinked in confusion trying to take in all the new input coming into his head. The biggest thing he took away from this was that she didn't appear that happy.
With a groan he flipped himself over on his back and looked in the direction of the bed. By this time she had gotten up herself and appeared to be approaching him. Correction her leg was actually the only thing currently coming towards him.
With two seconds to spare he rolled to the side as her foot crashed into the floor. Not wanting to risk a second attack he continued the roll till he made contact with the wall. Using the wall to help himself up Ron stood up and faced his irked foe. "Hey now we really don't need to do this."
The Princess stopped her advance forward though she did take up a defensive stance. Her leg extended forward and her arms up she looked at her opponent warily. "What are you doing in my room?"
Ron sighed to himself relieved that she at least seemed to have calmed down some. "Just came for the sword that's all. No worries."
"So you have come to retrieve the key. What is your purpose with it?"
"To escape." Ron blinked when realization hit him full on. You're not supposed to tell your captors that you're going to escape after all. At the very least it was bad form. "I mean I want to...do something not escape related with it."
The red headed princess regarded him calmly as her eyes went from his face down to the sword. A smile slowly spread over her lips as she again looked up at him. She really did have pretty green eyes though Shego won out in the chest area no contest.
"Do you know how to wield that?" The Princess approached closer to him as she spoke her features screaming over confident.
"Not really. All I know I've learned from some old guy after all." Ron slowly placed the sword in his pocket.
"Sorry to hear that. Now I'm going to need that back."
"And if I don't give it back to you?"
"I'm going to be rather unpleasant then in a few minutes."
"You unpleasant? I doubt it."
"Oh I can have my moments."
"I still can't imagine it." She was close to him by this point. Her left leg twitch slightly as she shifted her weight to the right.
"Well will you give me the key."
"Sorry want to but I just can't." Without another word from her she launched her left leg in a high kick aimed to sweep directly into his side. Reacting as quickly as he could Ron blocked the leg with his right arm which took most of the force from the kick. It still pushed him to the side but despite the stinging feeling in his arm he remained mostly unharmed.
"I'm surprised you'd do something like that. Not very lady like if you ask me." He dodged her right fist as she went in for a hit and barely blocked her left when she went in low for his stomach.
"I have my lapses after all." She dropped down attempting a sweeping kick with her right leg. Ron took the chance to jump to the side and spun around facing her again. He now had his back towards the entrance as she recovered from her attack.
"I see that old man must have been a good fighter in his time." She spoke with ease as she again took her place. Ron could feel the places where he had to block her still stinging and knew he wouldn't hold up if he truly tried to wear her out. It was time to pull out his trump card.
"I hate to say this but you do know your outfit is see through right?" Sure it was a lie but if he was right it would pay off.
With a blush she quickly stepped back moving towards her robe. Ron took the chance to run away like any brave action movie star would do. Running bravely away he cleared the entrance and hurtled down the hill focusing only on going forward.
Kim quickly reached up and grabbed her robe as she watched the blond headed fool run. Funny though he was she'd still have to probably detain him. Killing him just felt wrong though so she'd just make sure he'd spend the rest of his days in jail. Well maybe not the rest of them but she'd make sure to give him a few black eyes for his earlier comments. No one was allowed to look at her like that after all. Though she was truly interested in how good of a fighter he truly was. Maybe he would present some sort of challenge to her.
Enough with these pointless wonderings now was the time to capture not the time to think. Raising her hand she snapped her fingers and leaned back waiting. She didn't have long to wait as two floating decorated logs came into the room. "Yes Mistress?"
"You two go capture that Earth boy now and retrieve the key."
"Yes Mistress." With that the two logs went flying from the room. Without losing a beat Kim turned quickly and started to change into her outfit. Throwing her official robes on and adjusting the head pieces she finished in a record amount of time. She wanted to be there to personally deal with this man.
II.
Ron focused everything he had in the mad dash he made back to the cell. Somehow deep inside him he knew that girl was not the type to give up and let an issue drop. Considering beating him into an icky puddle of goo was probably her objective at the moment only put more marks in the run faster column. Though the slow down and die was starting to win favor as his side started to burn. He'd been running after all for a straight seven minutes though he was sure his grandfather would make a comment about all the processed cheese he ate as the reason for his current condition.
'I wish I had one greasy burrito at the moment. At least then I'd die with something in my stomach.' He run up the hill in front of him and to his relief finally saw the cell. Inside was a very upset Shego and a very bored young girl was sitting outside of it. Maybe he'd live to see the Earth again after all.
'I've never realized how much I valued my home world till I found out that there were crazy aliens everywhere else.' It was interesting how things like that could put things in perspective.
As he started to make his way down the hill he felt something hit him in the back. It felt vaguely like a wall of air and the ringing in his ears didn't help him sort out what it was. The result though was to cause him to promptly fall on his face. It was a good thing because two objects sailed over him at that moment.
A quick look up showed that it was the two crazy logs from earlier and a glance back showed him the hole which was once filled with dirt. That dirt now was mostly landing on top of him. "Why does everyone have to shoot at me today!"
Turning back he pushed himself up again on his feet and started to run towards his objective again. He could hear vague calls coming from the crazy woman up ahead but couldn't make them out at the moment. What he could make out was the discharge of weapons and the explosion occurring around him. Screaming his usual bravery call he zigzagged towards his destination.
It took only a minute to reach the cell but by then he was bruised and battered from all the various rocks that were currently flying around. His side burned and his head felt sort of strangely heavy. Not a good sign probably. "What took you so long kid?" The crazy woman was talking to him apparently.
"I got the sword." He held it up for both of them to see. He could see the smile on Shego face and the concern on Joss.
"What did you do to my sister to get her this ticked off?"
"I told her she looked good."
"Wow kid I got to give you lesson on charming women." Reaching her hand towards him Shego suddenly pulled back when the cell bars started to wrap around her again. "Quick give me the gems."
"Step away from the Princess human male." The two logs were now floating around the cell the gems located in their front glowing. It didn't take a genius to figure out what that meant.
"You two back off now!" The little princess besides him now stepped forward glaring at the two logs.
"We can't your highness your elder sister had order us to capture this person. For your own safety step away."
"Well I'm giving you a new order. Back down!"
"We can't do that. Your sister outranks you."
"Joss what are you doing defending that man!" All three people present looked towards the floating figure in front of them. She appeared to be on some sort of hovering platform and was dressed in her customary robes Ron had first seen her in. Her hair though was a mess and her headdress was lacking.
"Sis, tell these two to stop." The older princess regarded her younger sister with an air of annoyance.
"No! He tried to...do things!" Her eyes glanced over to Ron. Ron could clearly see she hadn't calmed down much.
"Kiss you?" The younger princess now had a smile on her face. "You know I asked him to do that. I think he'd be good for you sis."
The older girl now glared down at the younger one. "We'll talk about whatever you did later. For right now move away."
Ron gulped as he backed further away from the imposing figures of the two logs. He then heard a whisper request from Shego. "I can get us out of here. Just give me the gems in the sword hilt."
"How?"
"Just point it at me and will them into me."
"Alright." Turning slowly he reached into his pocket and withdrew the sword. Pointing it towards Shego he closed his eyes. He didn't notice when one of the gems glowed and disappeared to shortly reappear on Shego wrist.
"Good now the other two."
"No I think we are good with that." Ron smiled at her as he stepped back after noting it had worked. "Now get us out of here."
Shego regarded him before sighing. "Fine I'm sure I can persuade you to give me the other two in short order. For right now I'll just do this."
Raising her hands up, she ignited her fist. Green flames now burned angrily over her hands and without a second thought she swiped them through the cell bars. This had the effect of breaking the two princesses away from their current argument about boyfriends and the need for them.
"You two stop her now!" The two logs, Ron would have to figure out their names eventually it was kind of rude just calling them logs, rose ready to do their mistress bidden. They never got the chance as two large green plasma bolts hit them both and promptly knocked them to the ground.
Raising her hands up the green gem on Shego wrist started to glow. With a smile on her face she said one simple instruction. "Come to me." Before fading out and through the floor.
"Blast!" The angry princess stomped her foot before turning towards Ron. "Capture him at once and take him to the bridge. Come along Joss we'll have to recapture that monster."
"Aw man!" Ron managed only that one phrase before both logs tackled him.
III.
"Ms. Possible the enemy ship is in sight." Ron watched as the red head paced back and forth. It was obvious Kim was not in a good mood.
"Confirm the identity of the ship." The screen in front of her focused in on the odd ship. It was black and gray with black stone like curved pillars coming out from the outer hull. A red gem dominated the center of it and the object seemed to spin as it approached. It was approaching at a rather quick speed mind you.
"Confirm it is the 'More Powerful then all of Jurai and the Galaxy Police Ships Combined'. Should we go to combat alert."
"Yes prepare the turrets and go to standard combat speed. Raise power to the shielding devices and prepare for contact." The screen in front of them changed giving a 3-D view of the battlefield. Both ships were now on a collision course for each other.
"Um...can I get off now?" Ron hoped to God they would fulfill his request.
"Of course not." The red head raised her hand at this point. "Fire!" Her hand came down with that word.
Ron watched as red lights appeared from both ship images as they now apparently fired at each other. It was confirmed for him when he felt the ship shudder. It was not a comforting thought to think that all that separated him from the vacuum outside was the wall currently being beaten down by a barrage of weapon fire.
The ships continued to move around each other red lights flashing back and forth. He could see the black one moving through completed twist and turns which avoided the majority of the first from the Jurian ship until it would release one massive red beam, that separated out as it was released, aimed directly at the larger battleship. For its part the Jurian ship outputted massive amounts of fire and seemed to shrug off most of the hits. It was hard to tell who was going to win this fight.
"Princess, hull integrity is at sixty seven percent. Enemy ship damage is unknown." The computer finished its update of the status of the ship. It had been doing one every half minute since the battle had started. It suddenly blinked and a screen appeared. "We have received an incoming transmission from the enemy vessel. Do you wish to accept?"
"Yes put the monster through." He could see the clear distaste on Kim face when Shego appeared on the screen. Shego was lounging on the ship reading some sort of magazine with a big cat like grin on her face. It did not make Ron feel very comfortable at all.
"Give up Princess?"
"Why when I'm wining?"
"Oh I see you must be confused. I'm talking about the fight we are in currently. You know the one where I'm wining."
"I'm sorry to hear your mind has finally given out after all these years. I though you were a little too energetic for an old lady." Kim now had a smile on her face as Shego dropped her magazine.
"Old lady!"
"You heard me."
"Oh that's it. Ramming speed!"
"What?" Kim face showed her shock but Ron was mostly confused. Why ramming speed?
His question was answered when he felt a rather gut wrenching impact. The one darker ship had hit into the Jurian ship on the screen. The result was rather catastrophic.
"Are you crazy!" Ron watched as one very upset red head screamed at a laughing woman. It was almost funny except for the fact that they were about to die probably.
"Princess our engines are no longer operational. In exactly one minute and three seconds we will be pulled into the planet below us where we will most likely burn up. Do you wish for advice on a possible course of action?"
Kim took one last look at Shego before turning towards the computer. "Yes!"
The screen changed as a processing bar appeared. Ron had to laugh. "That looks like what my computer goes through. Don't tell me your system runs on Windows?"
"What else would it run on?" Ron blinked as a confused Kim looked at him. She couldn't be serious could she?
"Come on Princess can't you figure out a solution on your own?" The mocking tone from Shego drew Kim attention towards her again.
"Shut it Shego!" Turning back to the machine she ignored Shego other comments. Half a minute passed before the bar disappeared. "Well!"
"At this time I have found no solutions. What further task do you wish me to perform?"
"What!" Ron cry caused all present to turn towards him. "You mean we are going to die in under a minute."
"Actually we have already entered Earth atmosphere. I did not keep into account the other ship acceleration." Eyes turned towards Shego after the computer comment. All she did was shrug.
The screen went red as the word danger started to flash. By now Joss was already screaming and Ron wasn't far behind her in that. Kim shuffled from one foot to the other and Shego just laughed. Crazy women tend to do that.
"Sis, do something!"
"I want to Joss but I don't know what." Kim looked around panic in her eyes. Then she looked at Ron.
"The heck with it. Jettison the outer hull and focus all remaining energy to shields. Set dampers to absorb the impact." Kim's voice had a calmness to it that it had lacked before. Her eyes flicking over various indicators as she gave out her instructions.
"Yes princess."
The screen showed the ship as it fell towards the Earth. Ron watched as the ships outer shell suddenly exploded throwing off the other ship as the now naked inner sphere of the Jurian ship hurtled down. The sphere progress slowed considerably as now a barrier seemed to explode into flame around it. Ron hoped that was a good sign.
He crossed his fingers as the ship shuddered more. He blocked out Shego now very colorful language as he watched both ships make progress towards the sea. He lost consciousness when both objects finally made contact with the water.
To be continued...
A/N: OMG what happen! Are they dead? No. No they aren't. It's not really a cliff hangar when it's that predictable after all.
Anyway sorry this took so long to release. Personal problems kept popping up and unlike other writers I don't write well when I'm in a bad mood. Don't know why just don't. Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next chapter we finally should meet Ron grandfather. If not then we don't the guy is shy after all.
Anyway a few general answers to replies sent in.
1. This is based off the OVA of the series but may have elements of the T.V. series thrown in. All depends after all.
2. Yes Kim will probably start to have feelings for Ron eventually. At least she'll consider him as a friend after all. Shego and Kim though I ensure you will be trying to kill each other every chance they get. I wouldn't mess with that bit of entertainment after all.
3. There are no spelling errors! Just the wrong word used. Blame the editor...who happens to be me. Yes Surforst.inc is a one man operation right now. I'd blame the economy but other writers got beta testers jumping through flames to impress them. Must be me.
4. Any and all complaints can be directed towards Taechunsa who has kindly helped me realize certain writing mistakes I have done. If they are still there then it's his fault not mine. I'm just the humble student after all.
5. Did you know I've always liked the number five?
Anyway as always hope you enjoy and remember to review. A signed review will get you a reply back from the author himself. What he says at that point is up to him I just work here after all. Just remember review!
Disclaimer: I don't own KP or Tenchi.