"….what?"
"Is something wrong Roderick?" Hungary's head popped out from behind the door frame to the library when she heard roderich's confusion. The man was sitting in a recliner, scrolling through his phone. Or, was. He was sitting upright, body tense.
Roderich shook his head, and brought his phone closer to his face. Did he read this right? Italy had sent a series of texts. He had kept his phone off the entire day, and was just now, going through all his notifications. 4 missed calls, texts from everyone he knew. His brows knit together. He felt Hungary's hand settle on his should.
"Roderich…what's going on?"
He swallowed, not sure how to answer. He could feel his stomach twist in on itself, making him feel like he'd vomit. His heart hurt, felt like it had just broken in half. His voice cracked as his phone dropped into his lap. "G-Gilbert…..died."
Hungary's small gasp was quickly muffled by her hand. Austria pushed her hand off his shoulder. He….he was lost. Lost for words. Lost for….lost for everything. He felt like he had just lost a light in his world.
"I…need some time…please" he croaked. Roderichs eyes squeezed shut, tears starting to pool in his eyes. Hungary's soft steps seemed to hurry off. She would of course, probably need some space as well.
He wished….he wished he could have cried. He would have done anything to cry. To wail. To bang on the door and ask why. To scream at the heavens.
But Roderich couldn't even move a finger. He was paralyzed. Unmoving in the recliner. He was frozen in place while every wasted opportunity ran past him. Every chance he should have confessed but didn't. It…no it wasn't real? Right. Their last memory wasn't going to be the fight they had a month ago, right?
The truth was, Roderick had to realize that he just lost the man he loved before he even had the chance to confess. All these years spend in a silent lock of believing that Prussia hated him. I mean, how was Prussia supposed to forgive him. Austria always felt it was his fault Prussia got sick. His fault Prussia was dying…dead
It was his fault Prussia was dead.
Austria blinked back a tear in realization.
He….he killed Prussia. He killed the man he loved. He killed Germany's brother. He….no….no.
Austria started to silently sob, his mouth whimpering "no,no,no,no" over and over like a broken record. His head fell into his hands, taking fistfuls of his hair. The guilt was overwhelming. He felt it eating him alive as his sobbing turned into wailing. Wailing that echoed off the rooms walls and down the hall. The wailing of a man who had lost everything he never had.
He didn't sleep that night. He felt like he was going to vomit the entire time. His heart kept falling, falling, falling and he couldn't pick it up. He just sat in his dark room, watching a sad candle burn, staring blankly at the fire. Did he deserve this? It should have been him.
What had he done?
AN/ These are not going to be consistent uploads, so check back in from time to time to see who has been added to the list. /