Sleep came uneasily to Lily that night. The nights happenings between James and her where unusual to say the least; on a general basis she would say screw the cold, and make out. But this time, this time she did nothing.
She couldn't understand herself. She knew what she wanted, she always new, and she knew what she didn't want. What she didn't want was to be with anyone, especially not James, but what did she want more than to be with him?
She knew that there was something special between them, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She was the tide, and him her beach. She came and went and always seemed to be there no matter whether she was in her high point, or her low.
Lily stared out into the stars in the sky. She knew better than anyone that there was more to them than what met the eyes, and what science could tell, well muggle science. Tonight she knew why she had spaced out, the stars had confused her.
Now Lily was like any other intelligent girl when confused… ridiculously annoyed. She could not stand it to say the least. The stars that night had been in a unique pattern. As scary as it was, when James had arrived, Lily had been staring at one thing in the midnight sky. She saw her name, a heart, and James' name. Zach knew Lily read the sky, not read by position, but read the words that formed, it was a rare gift, but Lily used it often, and could generally be seen staring at the sky.
It was several hours after she had left the Astronomy tower to go back to her room that she got out of bed and turned to her window. She looked for a sign, anything that could tell her something more. All she saw were the clouds coming in signaling that rain would be arriving the next day.
Lily decided since she wasn't going to get any sleep that it was a good time to awake Zach. So as quietly as a mouse, Lily snuck up the creaky stairs to the boys' dormitory.
It was dark, and Lily could have sworn she heard a mouse squeaking. The darkness seemed overwhelming, but Lily liked it. She crept over to where she knew Zach's bed to be and quietly moved the curtain letting her self in. She held her breath in fear of being heard. When she got in she quietly closed the curtains up and put a silencing charm on the bed.
She smiled at him, admiring his puppy dog look while sleeping, then lightly kissed him on the lips as he began to stir. He slowly looked up into her emerald eyes that still shined in the dead of night.
"Something wrong?" Zach whispered when he turned to face Lily and saw confusion written across her eyes.
"You don't have to whisper, silencing charm." Lily stated in a great tone to get the point across, whilst tactically avoiding the question.
"You didn't answer the question." Zach told her as she slowly nodded before replying.
"I hate it when you do that." Zach just smiled at her as she went on. "I don't know, I was having trouble reading the stars tonight, and it bugged me." Lily told him and before she could stop herself went on. "I think I love James, but I'm afraid of being in a real honest to god relationship. I have never had one, I always did something stupid and I don't know. I'm... I'm…"
"What you are doing Lily is rambling." Zach stated in hysterical tears of laughter. Lily glared at him as he went on. "Don't think about it, if its right and we know it is, then you won't have to." Lily thought about these words for a minute, and then took her leave in silence knowing he was right.
Finally Lily found sleep at five in the morning. Thus when her alarm went off at seven thirty, she groaned and rolled over.
"C'mon Lily! Time to wake up!" Called an all too cheery Kelsie.
"Fine, fine I'm getting up." Lily stated clear enough that Kelsie could hear. "Why do you have to be so cheery in the morning?" Lily drowned on.
"I second Lily's opinion." Was heard from Kim's bed as she got up herself. "I'm going to take a shower." Kim said, but was two seconds to late, for Lily had snuck in while she was talking. "MEANY!" Was all Lily heard as she turned on the hot shower, she gave a low scream though when she looked up to see one James Potter standing in his roe, just to the side of her shower.
"What are you doing in here?" Lily asked when she caught her breath. James neglected to reply, and instead pulled her into the shower and kissed her passionately. Lily gently wrapped her arms around his neck before slowly running her tongue along his bottom lip.
James gladly parted his lips and allowed her tongue to enter. As their tongues battled James ran his arms along Lily's body, and slowly pulled her pajama's off and slid his own robe off. He led her into the shower and smiled.
"How are you today my dear?" James asked the emerald eyed beauty in front of him.
James couldn't help but smile at her. She was intoxicating him as he just held her in front of him, her back against his chest. He didn't let his hands wonder, but rather kept them on her hips. This was what was meant to be he knew it. But Lily, she was too afraid and as comfortable as she was… she didn't want this happening.
"I'm fine." She said flatly. "Listen James can you go, I really need to think, and this is the only place and time I can without disruption." James took a moment to comprehend what she had asked and gave her a light, yet passionate kiss, and left the shower without another word.
Lily, though mildly surprised by his antics, proceeded to wash her hair with her new watermelon scented shampoo. She didn't want to stay in there for an overly long period of time, the girls would get mad. Though she did need this time to think… About James.
His antics in the shower were one she was surprised by. On a general basis, in that situation, he would protest and reluctantly leave. She was caught by surprise to say the least. She didn't want to get close to James, but he was making it nearly impossible for that to happen.
Lily was drawn out of her thoughts by a rapid knock on the door and her friends voice.
"LILY YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES BEFORE I COME IN THERE!" She heard Kelsie scream, and she quickly finished washing out her hair and got out of the shower.
She opened the door for Kelsie who strode in like she was queen as Lily went to the powder room to do her hair and make up for the day.
A/N: Sorry for the long wait. I've been super busy. School midterms, English regents, and lots of swimming still. Then I was helping my friend with her complicated love life… which does take up a lot of my time. And then when I would get around to have time to write, I would be exhausted… I know this is a sucky chapter, and if someone would like to beta it and send it to me you can feel free to, b/c it really does need to. I didn't read over it… so apologize for all the mistakes and stuff.. I don't like this chapter, and I have writers block from the regents… still :( so yeah please review and inspire me! CrazyLily