Arkham School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Summary: The Arkham Rogues have a new home... Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Will Harry, Ron and Hermione take to their new professors? And where's Batman and Voldemort in all this?

Genre: Crossover/ Adventure/ Humor

Rated: K+

Disclaimer: Harry: I am Batman! runs around

Bruce: No, I AM!

Harry: How can you be a superhero if you don't have any powers? waves wand around.

Bruce: glares and hits Harry over the head stupid people...Oh, and by the way...neither of these two girls owns me or..this pathetic guy. I am owned by DC comics and Warner Brothers, and he points to Harry is owned by J.K. Rowling (I would've killed him off during book one..page one), all of her publishers, and Warner Brothers Studios. (That goes for all the other people in this too!) ((except OCs))

Chapter 1: The London Insane Asylum

Arkham Asylum was buzzing with anticipation. Word was circulating through the inmates about a "vacation" for many of the high security prisoners.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" a young doctor commented while placing a large stack of files on the desk of Dr. Bartholomew, head of Arkham Asylum for the criminally insane.

"I feel we have no choice," Bartholomew picked up the top file, which read "Oswald C. Cobblepot- The Penguin". "I believe that maybe there will be some new method that can help all of these pour souls."

Bartholomew spread the folders along the length of his desk. 'Harvey Dent- Two Face', 'Pamela Lillian Isley- Poison Ivy', and 'Jack Napier- The Joker,' were just a few of the names.

"If you don't mind my asking, doctor, but where are they being sent?" the young doctor asked.

"To London Insane Asylum," he answered, "A doctor Louise Marvolo believes that he has found a treatment that may work…"

A long, blonde haired man knelt in a darkened stone room. Before him stood a man in a black traveling coat, whose back was turned to Lucius and his gaze was fixed out an open window.

"All is going as planned, my Lord," Lucius said, his eyes fixed downward at the floor.

"And our new, patients?" the cold, harsh voice put emphasis on the final word.

"They arrive tomorrow." Lucius answered.

"Good…" the man hissed.

"I must confess a certain curiosity of where this excursion will lead." The Penguin remarked as he and the other Arkham Rouges were ushered onto a huge, four-engine carrier plane.

"Errr, where are we going?" Killer Croc gazed stupidly around. He was being half-carried, half-drug by four large security guards. A large muzzle muffling his tranquilizer slurred speech.

The Mad Hatter was not being guided into a plane seat. "Ah, to adventure into the rabbit hole, to where will this looking glass lead?" He contemplated. His eyes were slightly dilated from sedatives.

"This is an outrage!" the Scarecrow was escorted between two guards. His legs were off the ground, kicking at thin air. "How dare you manhandle me, insolent fools! Cower before me!"

"Oh, give it a rest!" the Joker moaned. He had a splitting headache from the suppressants he had been given. "Sheesh, does anyone know where on earth we are going?"

"Maybe it's a vacation, Puddin'!" Harley Quinn followed behind the Joker in a standard straightjacket that all the other Rogues modeled.

"I see no one has bothered to notice the crew members," the Riddler said, taking up a seat beside Two-Face.

"And what does that have to do with us?" Two-Face growled.

"They're English," Poison Ivy answered quietly from her seat next to Harley.

"Precisely," the Riddler nodded.

"So?" the Joker was beginning to get annoyed. "What's your point, Riddles?"

"England!" shouted the Mad Hatter. "We're heading to England!"

"What!" was the chorus that cried from every other of the Rouges lips.

"But why England, if I may inquire?" the Penguin said from his seat.

"Oh my God!" the Scarecrow exclaimed from his seat. "London! They're sending us to the London Insane Asylum!"