Chapter Sixteen: The Mask You Hide Behind
Finally, nearing sundown, they arrived at the port after a very long journey by boat. Erva grabbed Evander's arm to aid him out of the boat, which he resisted. Evander, given no choice, hobbled out of the boat and onto land. He nearly fell face forward until he clutched Erva's shoulder. He made the mistake of glancing over and saw a look of concern sent his way.
They walked up the hill together, and then Erva leaned him against a tree. She huffed, scanning the area, and eyed the roaring fire and smoke-filled sky behind them. She took off her cloak and draped it over Evander's shoulder.
"I left my horse at a stable. I'll go pay the man, and then we'll be on our way."
Evander tried to get up, protesting. "I'll come with you."
"No, you stay there. You shouldn't be on that leg," she gently pushed him to sit. "It's just up the road." She briefly smiled and then began quickly pacing down the road.
Ever since he met this woman, he couldn't fully trust her, even though he knew that she worked for Xena. So far, he hadn't felt unsafe around Erva, but he hardly knew her. He wondered why everyone in Abydos feared Xena so much, yet they instantly knew Erva. He supposed it made sense. Xena gave all her work for Erva to do while she hid away, except Xena did go to Rome. That wasn't a job for Erva, though it could have been.
He held vital information and couldn't shake the thought of Xena's soldiers betraying her. He knew he wasn't going insane. Evander saw Soner handoff that peacock arrow to one of Xena's men. This entire situation was a lot more complex than he originally thought. Given Erva's attitude and lack of knowledge about Soner's plans, she obviously had no idea about the snake in the grass.
He wanted to tell her. She had to know, or Xena was going to die, and easily as well. Evander sighed and watched Erva disappear into the dark woods.
"Erva!"
She spun around, already halfway to the stable.
Evander bit his tongue and his insides knotted at her piercing stare. Not yet, he told himself. Soon.
"Do you think you can find some food somewhere?"
Erva nodded, "I'll see what I can find." She smiled, then hurried off.
He slapped a hand over his eyes, groaning loudly. His elbow met the bark of the tree, and he grumbled, cursing himself.
Gabrielle walked over to the table and set down a bowl of crushed tomatoes with eggs and toasted bread off to the side. She looked at Varinia, hoping that this meal would suit her better than eating raw tomatoes day in and day out.
Varinia inspected the dish and could smell the added spices. She wrapped an arm over her stomach and looked up at Gabrielle with a sheepish grin.
"You aren't going to eat it, are you?"
Varinia politely declined. "I'm sorry. But, you're a great cook, Gabrielle! This looks like a dish from Syria."
"That's because it is. Well, it's supposed to be," Gabrielle sat down and plated the food. "There used to be an artist I worked with who was from Syria. I thought you would like it. It has tomatoes!"
"Thank you," she reached over, patting Gabrielle's arm.
She could tell that Gabrielle worked very hard to make this, almost the entire afternoon in fact. She also knew that Gabrielle's mind was elsewhere, as was hers. They were both focused on people who weren't around them, though those two people were related. Varinia's thumbs twiddled in her lap, eyeing Gabrielle eating slowly.
"I will eat some of it," she relented, grabbing the large serving spoon.
Gabrielle's eyes lit up immediately, and she pushed a bowl across the table.
"Just a little bit!"
Just as she was about to bring the spoon to her mouth, she heard muffled voices at the entrance. She dropped the spoon into the bowl and scurried out of the room. A bright smile filled her face, and she ran through the long hall, her shawl slipping off her shoulders.
Evander lifted his eyes, grinning at Varinia, and as soon as she crashed into him, he nearly lost balance, colliding with the wall. He held her tightly with an arm wrapped around her thin frame, cheeks reddening as Erva stared at them both.
"I was so worried about you!" she kissed his cheeks. She gaped at his poorly bandaged leg and gasped. "What happened?"
"N-nothing," Evander gently pried her arms off, then wrinkled his eyebrows, staring at her pale complexion. "You look different."
Varinia grazed her hair and cheeks. "I do?"
Erva, eavesdropping on the exchange, raised her eyebrows, smirking slightly. She slipped off her gloves and hung her cloak by the doorway, and caught Gabrielle standing at the end of the hallway.
As every bit of his body was being grasped, touched, and ogled by Varinia, Evander saw a familiar face from afar.
"Gabrielle?"
"Glad to see you made it one piece," Gabrielle greeted with a light attitude. "Well, almost," she gestured to his leg.
"What are you doing here?" he asked aloud, then whispered to Varinia, "what's she doing here?"
"I'll tell you everything," she said. "Come in! Don't just stand there. I'll help you to the sofa."
Evander rolled his eyes and attempted to hobble along without any assistance. Varinia hooked their arms, and he peered down at her, finding it hard to resist smiling at her. He passed by Gabrielle, casting a questionable stare, and she inclined her head, allowing them to walk through the doorway.
A while later, Gabrielle made herself scarce from the sitting room, which was now taken over by Varinia and Evander. She waltzed into the kitchen and saw Erva washing bandages in a basin of water. She cautiously approached and received a quick side-eye.
"Do you need help with anything?" she asked.
Erva exhaled through her nose and whacked a towel into the blonde's chest. "I'll need to bandage his leg. I had to rip a piece of my cloak off." She pushed the basin filled with soaked bandages. "Dry these."
Gabrielle sighed and wrung out the water of the bandages into a separate bowl. Her wandering eyes kept staring as Erva continued washing in silence.
"Did…you, did you find out why those ships were burning? I assumed that you saw them."
Erva paused, glaring at the wall, but answered, "Xena's men set fire to all Bastillia ships."
"Oh. That's good, isn't it? I mean," she chortled, "we know that Xena is alright if she's commanding her soldiers."
"Mhm."
Gabrielle licked her parched lips and continued her routine, which somehow was relaxing, despite the company. Any conversation centered around Xena when it came to Erva wasn't the wisest path to walk down. She tried to put Xena in the back of her mind, but it grew more impossible to do so. She imagined Erva felt the same.
"I really think Varinia should see a doctor. She's been sick for weeks."
Erva threw freshly washed cloth onto the counter. "She's not sick."
Gabrielle guffawed, "yes, she is! I mean, you saw her back in Edirne! She is not fine."
"She is fine."
"We must be seeing two different things," Gabrielle shook her head, muttering under her breath.
Erva wiped the sweat off her brow. "She's pregnant."
Gabrielle's eyes widened. "W-what?" she gawped. "How-how do you know?"
"Because I just know. Xena knows it too."
How could she have missed that? How could she have not known? How could Xena know? How come Xena didn't say anything about it? Women and their secrets.
"Xena told you? When did she tell you?"
"She didn't. Looks like you're not as thorough as you originally thought," Erva lightly teased.
Gabrielle leaned back, watching the two on the sofa chatting. Varinia had a leg draped over Evander's thigh while she toyed with his hair. Gabrielle, pursing her lips, glanced up at the laughable smirk on the warrior's face.
"You're more aware of those things if you've had a child of your own," Erva broke the silence.
Gabrielle felt her fingers numb, and she swallowed, continuing to wring out the water of the cloth.
"Oh, I see, because you were with Xena when she had her son."
Ignoring the question, Erva cleaned the area and thoroughly washed her hands before pouring the water's remainder out of the basin.
As tension rose, Gabrielle hesitated only for a moment until something came over, something she might regret saying later.
"You are referring to Xena's son, right?" she whispered. "Erva?"
Erva held her breath and set aside the bowl, and grabbed the semi-dry bandages. "I'm going to wrap his leg. Bring the rest of those when you're finished."
Alone in the kitchen, Gabrielle recalled the conversation she shared with Xena. From what she remembered, Xena raided Mesopotamia, which meant she raided Erva's tribe and home. As much as she didn't want to dwell on that, it could be one reason why there was a lot of tension between the two warriors.
Erva's hesitation did not go unnoticed when she was questioned for clarification regarding children. Gabrielle dug her nails into her hair and exhaled heftily, immediately reverting to thinking the worst. Now, she had even more questions. Xena promised to tell her everything, and she hoped that was true.
"No, don't jump to conclusions, Gabrielle," she spoke her thoughts. "Just focus and relax. Focus. Relax. Relax. Focus."
She wrung out the bandages in the bowl and kept with her routine while even adding a bit of tune to distract her busy mind.
"Is there anything I can—"
Gabrielle yelped at the silent feet and unforeseen voice.
Varinia giggled, "sorry. Erva said you could use some help in here."
"Uh," she gave a quick glance at Varinia's stomach. "Sure."
She made space at the counter and handed her a few bandages to be dried. Her eyes fixated on Varinia's flat stomach, and then looked up nervously and forced a smile. Varinia returned the smile and wrung out the bandages one by one.
"Gabrielle."
She jumped and dropped one of the bandages onto the floor at the sound of Erva's stern tone. She quickly picked up the cloth, wiped her hands on her trousers, and excused herself, walking towards Erva.
"Are you alright?" asked Erva, raising a skeptical eyebrow.
Why does she care? Gabrielle brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Uh-hem. Fine."
Erva hummed and eyed Varinia. "I finished wrapping his leg. I'll help him to his room."
Varinia's ears perked up from the side conversation. "I can do that. You don't—"
"No!" she barked, alarming the green-eyed Syrian. "No, I can do it. You shouldn't strain yourself.
"But—"
"I said no." Erva turned towards Gabrielle. "We're leaving tomorrow morning. Xena should have the city under control by now."
People gathered around the Bastillia estate, observing soldiers going through the entire house, throwing items out of the large balconies, and tossing items out the entrance. As more and more items and belongings of Eylül were thrown out into the open, more people began to gather around, confused and curious.
Slowly, the crowd parted, and Xena walked through, receiving wide-eyed stares, though none of the citizens seemed the least bit scared. Maybe somewhat fearful, but many were just curious. Either way, Xena ignored the many eyes upon her and circled around the large pile of chests, crates of documents, and other miscellaneous items from Eylül's home.
Ardan stepped out of the home, breathing heavily, not expecting to see his superior standing so close. He adjusted his helmet and gave Xena a curt head nod.
"She isn't here, I'm assuming," Xena stated flatly.
The officer shot her an apologetic look.
"Of course not." She slapped the gloves against her palm. "Eylül, you are making yourself look more and more guilty," she muttered.
As her eyes continued to scan the, now what she called, a pile of garbage, she felt a light pull on her cape. She peered down at a little girl with dark hair that reached her ankles. From afar, a woman, presumably the girl's mother, pushed her way through, whispering at the girl.
Xena raised a hand at the frantic woman and knelt down, wincing at the splitting wound on her thigh. She noticed the girl kept staring at her fur hat, so she took off her hat, brushing through her fingers through her hair. Gently, she set the hat on the girl's head and brought the veil attached to drape over the child's small frame.
She had to try and keep from laughing as the hat continuously slipped over the girl's eyes, completely swallowing her head. The child smiled, lifting the fur hat just above her brow. Xena gently pinched the girl's chin, stood up slowly, and pushed the girl gently to walk back towards her worried mother.
In just a moment, her kindheartedness displayed before everyone quickly vanished when she shouted at her men to collect all of Eylül's belongings. Xena stalked to her horse, which was ogled by three teenage boys. They quickly dispersed once she was in their view. Xena frowned at the boys, mounted her horse, and checked the saddlebag for any missing items. Her hand dug through one of the bags, and she paused, glaring at the boys.
She held out her palm, wagging her fingers. "Hand it over."
A blond boy walked forward, revealed the short sword behind his back, and placed it into Xena's hand. He let his head hang as he backed away from the horse slowly.
Xena leaned forward on the saddle and lifted the boy's chin with the tip of the blade. Fearfully, he gazed into her eyes, worried that his death would occur in front of his friends and family surrounding him.
"You shouldn't take things that don't belong to you."
The teenager's mouth parted to speak, but he fell mute.
Xena eyed the other two boys, who looked worried for their friend. "If you want this so badly, then prove to me that you deserve it."
The boy wrinkled his eyebrows, taken aback by the odd behavior.
She pointed to the large villa near the outer rim of the inner city. "You see that villa?" she asked, and the boy nodded. "I'll be waiting for you. Take it," she shoved the sword in his face. "Go on."
Hesitantly, he took the short sword and clutched it to his chest. He stepped back once Xena trotted off with a group of twenty men on horseback followed behind her. The blond teen felt his friends' hands on his shoulders, though he was too much in shock to move.
"Are you really going to go over there?"
"She gave you her sword!"
The blond looked at the short sword in his hands and wrapped his fingers around the leather hilt tightly.
Trotting towards the large villa with her men, she spotted Tariq pulling up and dismounting his horse. She steered her horse and charged forward, blocking his path. Soon, Tariq was surrounded, and he backed up against a wall.
"Imagine that. You suddenly disappear when the city goes up in flames," Xena said, scrunching her nose with a wide grin. "Something tells me I should've killed you when I killed Demir."
Tariq swallowed, glancing around at the soldiers with their hands on their weapons.
She hopped off the horse and groaned gutturally as a shooting pain shot up her leg and spine. She took her sword from its scabbard and pointed it directly in Tariq's face, inflicting fear further.
"Now, be honest with me, Tariq, were you sending a message to Rome?" she pried in a calm tone. "Alright, listen," she pressed the dull edge of the blade to his throat. "You help me; I help you. If you do everything I say, I won't kill you. Deal?"
"Yes, ma'am…"
"Great," Xena smiled, withdrawing the sword. "I'd like you to send a message to your messenger. We'll write the letter together." She motioned to the door. "After you…"
Undoubtedly, sharing a horse with Erva was the last thing she wanted to, but she was in a bit of a sticky situation. Varinia could hardly keep her hands off Evander, and then Evander was also wounded, so walking was out of the question. Then, they only had two horses, so there's that. Gabrielle kept her hands to herself, refusing to wrap her arms around Erva. Even though some of the journey was rocky at times, and she did fear falling off a couple of times, she just couldn't.
As they neared Edirne, Gabrielle felt more at ease, although a knot formed in her stomach once she saw the destruction. They were still miles away, but the lingering scent of smoke—and the rotting of what she hoped wasn't flesh—was enough to make anyone ill.
She covered her nose and looked over at Varinia, whose face was pale as a ghost. Evander and Erva seemed indifferent and kept their eyes fixated on the path, trotting at a steady pace towards the city.
Gabrielle held in a cough and tried to focus on the tall cedar trees. Yes, enjoy nature, she reminded herself. Enjoy the trees and wheat stalks while ignoring the horrible stench. The horse abruptly halted, and she rammed her shoulder into Erva's back.
Erva groaned and looked over her shoulder. Gabrielle returned the same stare she'd been receiving for the entire morning now; the pestering gaze. She could hear Varinia heaving behind them in the wheat fields, and Evander had stopped to wait for her.
Gabrielle sighed, "when are you going to tell her?" she whispered.
"I'll leave that to Xena if she doesn't figure it out on her own."
She had her own doubts about that. "Are you sure Xena knows? I would think she would've already told Varinia."
Erva smoothed her tongue over her teeth. "She knows."
The smell could make anyone sick, and Evander even fought the urge himself. He leaned back, grabbed the pouch of water, and whistled to grab Varinia's attention.
"Do you need help?"
Varinia grimaced, wiped the corners of her mouth, and walked back to the horse. "I'm not a dog." She took his hand and climbed onto the horse.
"I…didn't mean it like that," he apologized. "Do you want some water?"
She pushed the skin of water away, wrapped her arms around Evander's waist, and turned her cheek. "Can we go now?"
"Are you sure you don't want any water? It might help—"
"Evander!"
He grumbled and yanked on the reins, trotting ahead.
Erva smirked, pulling the reins to follow shortly after. "Children having children," she muttered and heard Gabrielle snicker behind.
None of them expected to see Edirne completely covered in ash by the time they returned. Soldiers were scattered throughout, cleaning the area and helping those who lost their homes and some who lost family members. The four rode towards the large villa, which was surrounded by several soldiers. It was obvious by the number of guards that everyone knew where Xena was. Everyone knew who Xena was. They'd seen her face, and there was no coming back from that.
They went to the back of the villa, and Gabrielle immediately hopped off the horse, bypassing the guards. Erva sighed, tying her horse to a post while listening to the two children as she called them, bickering back and forth ever since they left the wheat fields.
"Miss Erva."
She lifted her eyes, "Ardan," she greeted. "The people saw her?" she stated more than questioned.
He nodded, gazing at the ground. He focused on the two guests mumbling to one another. "Who're they?"
Erva sighed, "it's better not to ask, Ardan."
"Understood," he cocked his head, curiosity taking over.
Gabrielle charged up the stairs and entered Xena's bedroom, hoping she wouldn't find it empty. As soon as the door swung open, their eyes met, and Gabrielle sighed in relief. She walked to the bed, and before she could utter a word, Xena kissed her hand gently.
"I'm so glad to see you're alright," she whispered, then embraced Xena securely.
Xena inhaled sharply and let out an audible moan of discomfort. Gabrielle removed her arms as if she touched fire itself, scanning the apparent pain that crossed the warrior's features.
"What is it? What's the matter?"
Xena's hand instantly swathed over her shoulder. "Nothing."
It didn't take long for Gabrielle to finish her inspection, and she gasped loudly as soon as she saw the wound. Her fingers grazed the ripped stitches, rendering a quiver and sharp breath. More gently, she swiped her thumb across the wound.
"Someone tried to kill you again," Gabrielle stated. "I knew I should've stayed here."
"Gabrielle," she grabbed the blonde's arm, pulling her around. "Your concern is comforting, but I expected this to happen. I took that risk when I decided to go out."
"You could've died!"
Xena's eyes dipped down.
"Sorry. I—I don't mean to lecture you. That's probably the last thing you need." She sat on the bed. "I was worried about you the entire time, Xena. I didn't know if I was going to come back and find you…gone; find you dead."
Xena brushed a blonde lock behind Gabrielle's ear and grazed her cheek. "You should know, I'm pretty difficult to get rid of."
She glared at the warrior's playful expression. "That isn't funny." She couldn't keep herself from cracking a smile. "Will you at least let me dress that wound? It looks terrible."
"It was waiting for you," Xena teased.
Gabrielle rolled her eyes and went to her usual spot to find the bandages. She now lost count on her hand of how many times she's done this. It was becoming a routine, and she didn't want this to be a daily, weekly, or monthly routine. She came around, and Xena grabbed her wrist.
With her breath caught in her throat, she said softly, "thank you."
Gabrielle smiled, climbed onto the bed, pulled the sleeve off of Xena's shoulder, and began cleaning the wound. These people loved to shoot arrows at her every chance they got. It was never-ending, evidently.
"You're a good person, Gabrielle," she said, taking a long pause in between a tethered breath. "Why would you ever become a mercenary?"
"Sometimes, we do things we don't want to do." She dipped her fingers into an herbal mixture. "You're a good person too, Xena. You just refuse to see it."
Xena snorted at the comment, and her skin was purposefully pricked.
Gabrielle bit her lip, feigning a devious grin. "If you weren't, I wouldn't be here. You care about others. I saw the way you interacted with that boy in the market. Do you remember?"
"I remember," she admitted bitterly. "My people didn't have nice things to say about me."
"You hid behind a mask, and now that mask is removed. You have to let people trust you, Xena."
She draped a bandage over the wound and scooted across the bed to sit beside the wounded warrior. Smiling, she pecked Xena's cheek. Leaning in close, she whispered in her ear, "I'm not your enemy. And I don't think I ever was."
"You were hired to kill me."
"No, I was hired to kill someone I didn't know. I guess I hid behind a mask too," she winked and climbed off the bed. "You made a promise to me."
Xena's jaw clenched.
"I'm counting on you to fulfill that promise."
She knew what that entailed, and it was probably too much for Gabrielle to handle. She didn't know what the outcome would be if she revealed everything, but Gabrielle was right. She made a promise, and she had always had a reputation of keeping her word. She wasn't going to go back on her word.
"I will. I promise."
Gabrielle raised a finger, "hey, one promise at a time, okay?" she grabbed Xena's hand. "By the way, why didn't you tell me Erva was going to get Evander?"