Chapter Nineteen: Peacock, who?

Kindness.

Resilience.

Understanding.

She stroked Gabrielle's wispy hair as she stared at her peacefully sleeping, oblivious to the world around her. Often, she envied those who could sleep soundly and without fear creeping into the bedroom. So many times, she woke several times during the night for fear of being killed. This happened so often that she stopped counting. She knew why others did not like her, and even her own people did not care for her laws or rules, but Gabrielle didn't see the blackened part of her.

Gabrielle saw everything but that side. At first, she thought Gabrielle would leave, never to return. Though, perhaps, secretly, she wanted Gabrielle to try and leave Edirne. First, she wanted to see what reaction she'd have, and now, she realized Gabrielle was intent on staying. And why? Xena didn't know exactly why. Throughout her life, she'd met many people, had several people lay in her bed, shared her space with her, yet none quite like this one—quite like her.

Patience.

She sat up on her elbows, leaned her weight forward, and kept wondering if her penetrating stare would soon awaken the woman beside her—certainly, a poor choice for a mercenary, sleeping on the job. But, so far, she hadn't itched for Gabrielle to do anything she didn't want to do. This was probably one moment in her life where she had to be patient. Now, that, she could count on one hand. To be considerate of one's feelings wasn't exactly high on Xena's list. That was proven many times living with Erva.

Hating to leave the bed, she rose steadily, careful not to wake Gabrielle. Before she departed from the serenity of the sheets, she planted a gentle kiss on Gabrielle's forehead and slid off the bed. Her focus darted back to Gabrielle as if she thought she had disturbed the most serene of scenes. Almost disappointed, she waltzed over to the mirror and combed through her hair a couple of times.

While she stared at her reflection, she held a large section of hair and twisted her mouth. Such long hair, and it, unfortunately, reminded her of a piece of her life she no longer wanted to be associated with. Xena turned to the side and allowed her hair to cascade down her back, reaching just a bit beyond her hips.

Something to approach later, she thought.

After she made herself somewhat presentable, she went downstairs, though not in a hurry. Upon approaching the sitting room, she heard arguing. Of course, she guessed it was Varinia and Xian, as Erva was off tending to one of her necessary tasks. The closer she got to the entrance of the room, the more disturbing the argument got.

Leaning against the wall remaining unseen, she listened to the bickering. Varinia kept spewing words that probably shouldn't have been said aloud. Meanwhile, Xian was also combating her words with hateful gestures. Xena pressed her fingers to her brow and peeked from around the corner. As the debacle continued, it soon turned into a conversation about her. That was the last thing those two should be fighting about.

Varinia pushed Xian backward with a hard shove to the chest. Hesitating, although not too long, he raised his hand to her, coming dangerously close. Xena quickly made herself known in the room, and Xian's attention transferred upward. He had never lowered his hand so quickly and immediately distanced himself from Varinia.

"I would like to have a word with you."

Her tone was somewhat smooth, though Xian could hear the subtle growl in the back of her throat. Then, he turned his attention to Varinia, who was already sitting on the opposite of the room, drying her wet cheeks and gazing out one of the large windows. Once he made eye contact with Xena, there was no way he could escape. So, he cautiously made his way to the kitchen with her following behind, which he had some reservations about.

Eylül's breathing had finally come to a steady halt, but her wrists were raw, and her legs had numbed. For days she was subjected to this torture, and she didn't know when it would end. Her eyes followed Erva, making her way back to a table with an array of weapons. She thought to sob at this point, but exhaustion overcame her.

Her head drooped, and she felt a poke to her arm and forced herself to meet Erva's penetrating expressionless eyes. She expected what was to come to her by now, but she was never ready for it. Surely, she must've had so many bruises on her arms.

"I already…told you everything," she spoke in an arid breathy voice.

Erva knelt down, waving the dagger around mindlessly. "Now, Eylül, this doesn't need to be difficult. The sooner you tell me what your cousin is doing, the sooner you get released. Understand?"

"I don't know anything of what Soner is doing!" she spat viciously. It was about as little energy she had left. "I don't know anything about this…this peacock arrow you speak of!"

"So, you don't have a plan to kill Xena then?"

Eylül lolled and bit her lower lip. This torture wasn't ever going to end, no matter what she said. For three days, she'd been strapped to this chair. At least she was given some water, although she suspected that was to only keep her alive for more interrogations.

"And you tried to kill me," Erva rose to her full height, looming over the hostage. "We already know you're trading with Augusta Sabina. You admitted that, and we caught you red-handed."

"Indeed, you did. Very good investigator you are, Erva," her lips curled, releasing a mischievous expression. "For the last time, I don't know what my cousin is doing. Whatever his plans are have nothing to do with mine."

Erva whacked the dull blade's edge on her palm. "And what plan is that? You burned down your ruler's home. You raided the entire city and ordered men to kill innocent people," she sighed, continuing, "you've got a long record, Eylül, and it's not even middle October!" she snickered at her own joke.

Still amused, she went to grab one of the arrows that Xena had been shot with during the raid. She revealed the peacock arrow to the pinned Bastilia. The arrowhead had been long gone since, of course, that had been embedded into Xena's flesh. Erva held the arrow's feathers beneath Eylül's nose and swiped it across her upper lip.

"You don't recognize this at all?"

The whisper in her ear caused Eylül's body to shiver unconsciously. She met gaze with Erva's dark eyes, which almost looked red in the candle-lit area. Then, she broke focus and found the wall a lot more pleasing to look at.

"I've never seen that before in my life."

Frustrated, Erva threw the arrow at one of the tapestries hanging on the wall, ripping the fabric. She took hold of the chair and pulled back, staring at Eylül from up above. She could see the evident distress, the rise, and fall of her chest, the red tint in her cheeks.

"Your family hasn't ever been amenable with Xena," she stated, and Eylül's breathing hastened. "I know you aren't working alone, Eylül, and I know that arrow belongs to you. Tell me what you and your cousin are planning."

"I don't know!" she shouted. "I'm not planning to kill anybody!"

Erva let a roll of her eyes pass, and she fixed the chair so her hostage could sit upright. Tired of this game, she went to grab a whip off the table. When she returned, she found Eylül desperately trying to free herself from the bounds.

"Erva…" her voice softened, "we have the same motherland. We speak the same language. We're the same."

There was a laugh trapped in her throat, but Erva flatly replied, "we are not the same, Eylül. And your family is from Edirne."

"But my mother is from Mesopotamia. Along the Tigris River, just like you!" she couldn't take her eyes off the whip. She rather be cut with another dagger than succumb to that. "I know a lot of things about you, Erva."

"I'm sure you do."

Eylül's body stiffened the closer the whip came. "I know what Xena did to your people. I'm sure you must hate her for doing that to them." There, she saw a flicker in the warrior's eyes. "Yet, you still stay with her."

With a furrowed brow, Erva set her feelings aside and wrapped the whip around Eylül's neck. "Who is in charge of this peacock arrow charade? I know you have help, Eylül."

Nervously, yet confidently, she spoke yet again, "I don't know a thing about it."

Together, they sat in silence for a long while. A little too long, Xian thought, but he didn't know what to say, and he was sure she didn't either. While he kept twiddling his thumbs and peeking over into the other room, he was focusing more on Varinia than the woman—his mother—sitting right next to him.

Xena glanced over, knowing that she had to be careful of her words. She was his mother by blood, but she was a stranger to him. They didn't know one another, yet she felt more than compelled to put Xian in his rightful place. She gathered he never had anybody to look after him—to parent him—and his actions and behaviors were problematic and a bit sad to witness.

He was young, barely an adult, but Xena thought it best to be direct with him. She was never to dance around topics, and she could see he wasn't like that either from the little time they spent around each other.

"Don't you ever do that again."

Their eyes met, and Xian's fluttered, stunned by the solidity of her tone and frankness. Nearly laughing at the direct order, he stood, intent on leaving.

"You have no right to parent me, you know," he said, crossing his arms.

As he went to leave, Xena grabbed his arm and pulled him back to sit beside her. He stumbled and didn't even make it to the chair and instead knelt on a knee. He sat in the small seat as he felt the sting of her penetrating stare.

"If I had the chance to, then I would've made sure you never raise a hand to a woman or anyone else."

Xian's pulsating muscles in his arm relaxed, as did his crinkled scowl. Here, he was listening to a woman who had probably killed hundreds, if not thousands, of people, and he was telling him not to hit others. Xena's hand glided off his arm, and he came to sit beside her.

He rubbed his arm, sending her a harsh glare. "I…wasn't going to hit her."

"That's not what it looked like to me."

"I wasn't going to hit her!" he barked, clenching his fist. "I wasn't."

She could see the frustration and knew he probably felt alone. She knew that feeling of loneliness all too well. Having unexpected people walk into her life lately had completely changed the way she thought and approached others. She had to remind herself how young Xian was, and she needed to allow him that grace.

"You can't talk like that to her."

"Well, she's not very nice to me either. She doesn't want to talk to me."

Visibly, she tried to contain her expressions and twisted her mouth. Her fingers tapped on her knees, contemplating what to say and how to say it. This boy was definitely not a good communicator, and now she understood why Varinia was so upset when she first came to Edirne. But, Xena didn't have the right or concentration to parent her son, who never saw her as an asset. Although, he was more receptive lately, and their recent argument had been about Xena herself. Her hospitality, her money, her land. All things that were assets, yet Xian didn't think so.

"You do realize she's carrying your child," she thought to put that out in the open. "A baby. Your baby."

"Yes, yes!" his tone plainly conveyed frustration.

"I don't mind if you stay here," her eyes met his, mirroring the same expression of worry, "with me, but I don't want you two to keep fighting like this."

Xian was so absorbed in the bitter exchange he had with Varinia that he didn't even see the empty chair beside him. He held his fists under his chin, lifted his eyes, and straightened his posture, feeling the full effects of her hardened expression.

"You made that child, and you will help Varinia," she said, and Xian mechanically nodded in agreement. "She's a sweet girl."

She saw the defeat cross his face and lifted his chin, "Xian," she finally was able to get him to look at her. "I will be here for you, but you two really need to get it together." Her finger stroked his prominent jaw.

His mouth twisted into a grin, and he relaxed, curving his back against the chair. Some of the pent-up frustration subsided once she said that, and yet he wanted to deny that from himself. He wanted so badly to be angry with her and let her know, but the conflicting feelings he possessed wouldn't allow him to show his mild detest.

Xena, trailing away, pointed to the lounge where Varinia stayed, most likely still trying to reclaim her unstable emotions. That was Xian's cue to go talk to her, and he almost protested but knew that if he didn't, not just one woman, but several, would be onto him. Lastly, Xena shared a warm smile with him before exiting the kitchen.

On her way out, she bumped into Erva, who was lingering in the dark. Wrapping a hand over her thumping chest, she sent a swift thwack to Erva's shoulder.

"Goddammit, Erva," she growled, pulling her hair behind her ears.

Usually, there was a hint of pleasure at the sudden scare, but Erva's expression remained relatively blank. Yet, her eyes told a different story.

"You need to do something with that woman."

Xena gathered the woman of the hour was the Bastilia hostage.

"She says she has no idea where the peacock arrow came from and who is behind it," she folded her arms, huffing loudly. "Although she did admit to her treasonous trade agreements with the Augusta," which she thought odd.

"Did she give any information about her cousin? Xian said that Soner has been passing around arrows to my men."

Anger laced in her voice, Erva spat, "she says…she doesn't know Soner's intentions."

Xena snorted a laugh, "I find that hard to believe. That family is working with Romans. Ever since I came back from Rome, everything has been spiraling out of control," she chewed on the cuticles around her nails.

"I told you it wasn't a good idea to go there. Your rebellion plan didn't work, especially since you killed Gaius Vindex."

A minor irritation that got in the way. She brushed it off and clasped a hand on Erva's shoulder.

"I will talk to Eylül myself," her reply was rather curt, and she hesitated halfway down the hall. "Thank you for all your help," her voice carried over her shoulder, "with everything."

It was no surprise to Gabrielle when she found the empty spot next to her in bed. Getting Xena to stay in one place was challenging, and she figured that's why she expressed her overt frustration at times. Recently, she'd also come to terms with the fact that Xena was gentler than she let others believe. She felt the fingers on her temples, her arms, her cheeks, even though she feigned sleep. Though she could've guessed that Xena knew she was not truly asleep, but she assumed it went unnoticed.

Xena could be fooling her, or maybe she preferred it that way so she could hide her tenderness from everyone. She also knew Xena was trying to be patient, a skill she didn't quite figure out. Since she came here, and now that she stayed here, she could barely remember portions of her life before this. She also couldn't imagine leaving. Even when the thought crossed her mind, Gabrielle sorely convinced herself that she could, in fact, leave.

She didn't exactly know how the rest of her life was going to play out, but she hated to admit that she enjoyed the spontaneity of it all. She didn't really enjoy the subsequent murder spree surrounding the outer walls of this villa. And maybe Xena was desensitized to that, but Gabrielle had hope that things would change—that Xena would change—for the better.

Once she knocked herself out of her little thought-box, she walked down the stairs to enter the main sitting area. She discreetly searched for the long-haired warrior in no hurry and found one, but not the one she was looking for. Erva sat by herself on the floor, writing, until Varinia joined her. Gabrielle noticed that Erva was a lot softer, not to mention pleasant, to be around since Varinia's arrival.

She couldn't quite pinpoint the reason behind Erva's sudden motherly behavior. The warrior acted more motherlike towards Varinia than Xena did to her own son. Gabrielle watched the two exchange a muffled conversation in their language, and her mind drifted to the loss of Erva's family. No, don't go there, Gabrielle. Maybe she had these two warriors confused. Perhaps Erva was softer and kinder than Xena, or maybe she was keen to express it. Either way, it was yet another topic to discuss with Xena. And she would do just that. In the bed. Where Xena couldn't run.

Warmth crept up behind her, and she heard harsh breaths that grazed the back of her neck. Gabrielle spun around and stared up at a tall, grim-looking soldier. He held a small message in his hand and didn't utter a single word. She figured it was a message from Rome or somewhere where Romans lurked. One of Xena's plans soon to arise, she was sure.

Gabrielle took the message warily with a faint smile, non-verbally thanking him. Before opening the message, she backed herself in a corner. So far, Erva hadn't noticed as she and Varinia were engrossed in a conversation that made the warrior's eyebrows crease.

She unfolded the message and looked out the window at Tariq, who was tasked to deliver messages to Rome. She read over the message, and her chest tightened, gasping louder than she should have.

This caught the two women's attention, and Erva swiveled around. "Gabrielle, what are you doing over there?"

She pressed the parchment to her chest.

"She knows."

Erva stood, already visibly irritated, "what? Who?"

Gabrielle turned around herself, catching a breath in her throat. "Augusta Sabina. She knows I'm here," she held out the letter. "She's going to kill me!"

Erva snatched the message and read it for herself, then raised an eyebrow at the frantic blonde. "Nobody's going to kill you."

"She's going to send someone here—and—and they're going to kill me!" she incessantly scratched her cheek, moving to her neck and upper chest.

"I won't let that happen," Erva said quietly, flipping over the parchment to inspect.

It took a few moments for Gabrielle to process what had been said, and it caught her off guard. While Erva was distracted, she planted firm eyes on her, blinking rapidly. She didn't know if she would be the end of a dirty comeback, but she spoke anyway.

"What did you say?"

Erva kept inspecting the letter and refused to make eye contact. "For whatever reason, you are important," she paused, "to her," bitterly she added and tucked the letter in her blouse.

Resting a hand on her hip, she found Gabrielle's dumbfounded face very amusing. "And she would never let me forget it if something happened. To you."

It wasn't exactly a compliment, but Gabrielle took it. Those were probably the nicest few words that she'd ever hear from Erva. Suddenly, she couldn't contain herself, and delight clearly radiated across her face.

Erva quickly shied away and rested her other hand on her hip, "I'm going to take this message to Xena."