Disclaimer – I do not own Stargate Atlantis or any of the characters,I am just borrowing them for a short time.

This is a story starring Dr Carson Beckett,Dr Elizabeth Weir,Dr Rodney McKay,Teyla but to name a few,Along side a few original characters including Dr Helen McCoy and Dr Paige Ashby

Chapter 1

Dr Helen McCoy sighed to herself as she waited to be patched up for the 3rd time in 6 months, you know being a biochemist/botanist wasn't all it was cracked up to be sure she had two doctorates to her name but she was expected to be quite serious and straight laced all the time and that really wasn't her. She was more the get out there, woman of action type, not the timid science geek everyone perceived her to be. She'd arrived as part of a new civilian team that had been sent along to help with the research into the wraith among other things, but what she hadn't told any of the others was that she was an RAF brat and ex-military to boot.

As she was looking around the infirmary she spotted Dr Rodney McKay enter and walk over to one of the consols.Most of her research time had been spent with this man and she still hadn't decided whether she liked him yet. He was as arrogant as she'd been told but there was something else there a softness, no not softness exactly, compassion that was it which was surprising considering what she heard about him. Helen was just about to call him over when Dr Beckett appeared as if out of nowhere

"Now what have we here?" he asked as he moved to examine first her shoulder then her leg.

"Well I was off world with one of the science teams investigating the source of a new plant and on the way back to the puddle jumper the ground gave way and I slid down a ravine next thing I know I'm here" she said pausing for breath before continuing "So how bad is it, and when will I be able to get back to work?"

"Well lass, it doesn't look too bad, but I'd like to keep you here for a couple of days while your leg heals"

Helen was quiet for a second as she inwardly screamed 'yes' before she lifted her head to look at him saying "Ok then, if you think that's best"

After Dr Beckett had bandaged her leg and shoulder she lay back on the bed and began her favourite past time, people watching. She'd always done it even from an early age and she was good at it too, plus with her almost photographic mind she found that she could read people, you know get into their heads. It was thanks to this skill that despite the fact that she hadn't gotten the chance to talk at length to either Lt Col Sheppard or Dr Weir she knew that they would be there for her if she needed them and that John Sheppard was someone that would be your friend for life and defend you to the last. It was also through her people watching that she'd began to develop an affection for the good doctor.

It had started the first time she'd ended up in the infirmary, she'd been running an experiment in the lab when she'd been called away for something, and had been gone for no more than 10 minutes but in that time someone had taken it upon themselves to change the temperature settings on the instruments causing her experiment to superheat and before Helen could do anything about it the whole thing had exploded.

That had landed her in bed for a week and sparked a huge investigation, it had also given her lots of time to watch Carson and what she observed was a very caring person who did everything he could to get his patients back on their feet as soon as humanly possible. But it wasn't until the second time she was under his care did she really begin to feel something. She had been off world helping evacuate the local population, a sort of all hands on deck type of thing when she'd been bitten by the equivalent of a funnel web spider only this was ten times worse. Carson had needed to come off world to help her as she couldn't be moved for fear that she would die, and all she really remembered about that time was his calming voice telling her she was going to be ok.She had woken up in the infirmary 3 days later with a very worried looking Carson watching over her and it was then that she realised what he meant to her, which was ridiculous as they had only talked about work and had never spent more than an hour in each others company when she was either being patched up by him or he was consulting on a project so how could she feel anything for him?

At first she had put it down to the fact that he had saved her life and that it was some sort of traumatic reaction, so she'd decided to distance herself from him as much as possible, spending hours in the lab going over old experiments and past notes trying to avoid the infirmary and any contact with Carson Beckett.But that idea went right out the window when Paige, one of the few friends she'd made and confided in had gotten herself almost killed while trying to figure out a piece of wraith technology. Plus Helen had to be the one to find her lying on the floor of the lab one night covered in blood and barely breathing.

She'd automatically called for a medical team, who arrived seconds later and took charge, moving Paige to the infirmary so quickly that everything seemed to pass in a blur. Before she knew it she was standing back watching as Paige fought for the life, then the next thing she remembered was being woken up by someone saying "Dr McCoy can you hear me?"

"What of course I can" then she realised where she was "why am I on a gurney, what happened?"

"You fainted just as I arrived it seems" Dr Beckett explained seeming slightly amused by this

Helen then heard a beeping and remembered why she was in the infirmary in the first place "Paige" she asked franticly

"Don't worry she's alive and stable for now"

Helen flopped back onto the pillow, relived then asked "does anyone know what happened, was she attacked?"

"That's what I wanted to ask you actually" Sergeant Bates said as he approached her bed.

"What do you mean? I came into the lab and found her I didn't see anything, how would I know what happened?" Helen asked looking up at him.

"What time was it when you arrived at the lab, did you call the med team immediately, did you touch anything?" sergeant Bates started firing questions at her so fast she barely had time to answer one before the next was asked.

"Sergeant please Dr McCoy needs to rest, can't you wait?" Carson interjected

Sergeant Bates looked over at the doctor a little annoyed but stopped asking his questions before saying " Yes fine, I'll be back this afternoon, if that's ok with you?"

"Fine" came the reply before the sergeant turned and exited the infirmary

"Thanks" Helen said smiling up at Dr Beckett

"Ah it was nothing lass, now you get some sleep, I'll wake you if anything changes ok"

"Ok" and with that she snuggled down, closing her eyes giving in to the sleep she needed

It was now 3 weeks since Paige had been found and she still hadn't woken up and there seemed to be no reason why. Her blood work as well as CAT scan had come back clear and this fact was frustrating to both Carson as well as Helen. But the latter especially seemed to be the most annoyed about her friends lack of recovery and her frustrations all came to a head a couple of days later. She had spent the morning sitting with Paige chatting away endless to her then had spent the afternoon running test upon test, trying to figure out why her friend was still asleep. But by the evening she still hadn't found anything concrete to explain it. Helen signed as she sat back looking over at her laptop as it started to beep, telling her that the latest series of tests she'd been running were finished. Dejected at the results she snapped the laptop shut and got to her feet looking around her lab as if totally lost, not really knowing what to do next she left.For an hour Helen wandered through Atlantis until she found herself standing in front of a door she didn't reconise, with no idea how she got there. Suddenly it slid open to reveal a dimly lit room, not knowing why Helen entered and proceeded to look around, finding a pair a discarded fighting sticks on a near by bench. Instinctively she picked them up and began to twirl them around her body getting faster and faster as she let out her anger. Suddenly she stopped as she noticed a punch bag off to her left. Half grinning to herself she slowly approached it then with expert precision proceeded to beat the hell out of it. She continued to do this for several minutes unaware that she was being observed. It wasn't until she began to tire and stopped, turning to leave did she notice Teyla standing just inside the doorway watching her.

Helen walked back over to the bench, putting down the fighting sticks muttering "sorry I'll just be going"

When Teyla spoke "you fight very well"

"Thank you" Helen whispered then continued "as I said I'll leave"

"No wait, your Dr McCoy are you not?. I have observed you in the infirmary quite often, sitting with a young woman."

"Yes that's Dr Paige Ashby, she's a good friend. I hate to see her like that, it makes me so frustrated."

"So I see and you came down here to ease that?"

"No not really, I just found myself outside and when I saw the sticks it was instinct, I picked them up and the next thing I know I'm beating up a punch bag."

"Well as I said before, you fight very well, May I ask where you were taught?"

Helen was quiet for a second, thinking whether or not she wanted anyone else knowing her secrets but for some reason she continued "Airforce.I was sometimes part of a team that specialised in extraction. Marshal Arts training was a required thing plus I found I liked the discipline of it, so I continued with it even after I left."

Teyla was silent for a moment looking at the young woman in front of her, she had heard a little about Dr's McCoy and Ashby's work mainly due to the fact that it involved the wraith and use of their technology but what she had heard was that Dr McCoy especially was a timid shy person so to see her use such still was almost too unbelieveable, to be true.

"I was wondering if you would like to join me in a sparring session sometime. It would help you to improve if you have an opponent who fights back"

Helen was taken a back; she had heard a lot about Teyla Emmagen since first arriving at Atlantis and had read some of her team's mission reports. So for her now to ask if she, Helen wanted to train with her was so flattering, that there was no question as to the answer

"That would be great, only if it's no trouble"

"None at all or I wouldn't have asked" Teyla paused for a second then continued "it is late, we should continue this tomorrow" she finished motioning toward the door.

"Yes of course, but I'll just check in on Paige before bed though"

"Of course, until tomorrow then" and with that Teyla nodded her head then left heading down the corridor to her quarters.

A couple of weeks later Helen and Teyla were in the gym sparring but it seemed more one sided that usual with Teyla getting in shots Helen would normally block. At first Teyla had thought it was due to the injuries she'd gotten last week when she's slid down the ravine but Heen had said Dr Beckett had given her a clean bill of health so Teyla stopped for a moment looking at her opponent

"You seem distracted today, what is on your mind, are you still not fully recover from your recent injuries?"

"No I'm fine just thinking about a few things that's all"

"Well I believe we should stop, your mind is not on what we are doing I have gotten past you many time in the last few minutes." Teyla said as she lowered her sticks and moved over to the bench, grabbing a towel.

"No I'm fine really we can continue" Helen protested

"I do not feel that is wise, we will continue tomorrow"

Knowing she wasn't going to win Helen relented "Ok, maybe your right, my mind is elsewhere we'll stop"

As Helen was packing away her things Teyla turned to her "Maybe if you were to speak of what is on your mind it would distract you less?"

Helen thought to herself, she hadn't spoken to anyone about Carson, the only person she would normally confide in was lying in the one place she couldn't talk about her problem for fear of him overhearing and besides over the past few weeks she had come to trust Teyla so she replied

"Well I'm not really sure how to explain this but I think I'm in love with Dr Beckett"

Teyla was quiet for a moment before replying "so this is what has been distracting you today, have you discussed this with him?"

"I couldn't what if he doesn't feel the same, god I could never look him the face again" Helen blurted out as she started pacing back and forth muttering to herself.

Teyla watched this for a while before stepping over to Helen and stopping her "you need to be calm. I don't understand why you would not be able to face him again if you expressed your feelings also how can you be sure that he doesn't feel the same if you have not asked?"

Helen looked up at Teyla realising she was right, she shouldn't get worked up over this but she still couldn't just come out and declare her undying love ,no she needed another way"

"Teyla the reason I'm so worried is back on earth if you come out and tell someone how you feel about them and they don't return those feelings then it can be very awkward every time you meet."

"I think I understand a little, but you do need to sort this out, today we are only sparring, but tomorrow this distraction could get you hurt."

Helen just nodded at this then proceeded to finish packing away her things before exiting and heading for her quarters

After she had showered and dressed she headed for the commissary feeling suddenly hungry then realising she hadn't eaten since yesterday. She was just finishing up her meal when she noticed Dr Beckett enter with Rodney McKay; they both looked over in her direction and smiled then proceeded to get their food. Quickly standing Helen put away her tray then headed out of the commissary back toward her quarters when she realised that she hadn't seen Paige that day. She had spent the morning in her lab then most of the afternoon sparring with Teyla so hadn't had time to go to the infirmary, so she turned round heading for the infirmary. When she arrived and found it deserted she walked over to Paige's bedside pulled up a chair then sat down next to her friend.

Feeling utterly exhausted Helen rested her head on her hands muttering "Oh Paige what am I going to do, how can I be in love with someone I hardly know, it's not possible is it?"

Suddenly she heard Paige's voice sound in her head "of course it is you mad mare and you know it"

"Yeah I know, I guess your right but it's still unnerving " she said looking up at her friend half expecting her to be sitting there looking back at her smiling but found her still asleep silently breathing in and out. Helen really wished she would wake up so she could help her decide what to do about Carson but it wasn't to be, she would have to work it out by herself. Not really having the energy to move and feeling too exhausted to care she laid her head on her hands and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Helen pulled back the covers, climbing out of bed carefully, trying not to disturb the sleeping figure beside her and slowly walked over to the window. As she gazed out across the ocean thinking she heard a sound behind her. Knowing what it was she went to turn round when two strong arms came round her waist and a voice said "What you doing?"

Closing her eyes for a second Helen breathed in his scent before replying "nothing just thinking, go back to bed Carson I'll be there in a minute ok?"

"What did you just say?" he asked his tone changing to one of surprise

Suddenly Helen was awake and looked up to see Dr Beckett staring down at her. Realising what she must have said out loud she tried to deflect from it

"Has something happened with Paige Dr Beckett, is that why you woke me?" she asked looking up at the friend then back to Carson

He smiled down at her "I've told you, call me Carson and no everything is fine, you just looked a little uncomfortable. I thought maybe you'd like to use one of the infirmary beds" he replied motioning to the empty one next to Paige

"Thanks" Helen said as she moved over to the bed and laid down

Just as she closed her eyes again Carson said "Well I'll see you in the morning then love" and with that he left, leaving her staring after him.

'Oh my god,' she was so embarrassed he'd heard her he must have. She remembered that she had been dreaming about looking out over the ocean and then telling Carson to go back to bed. What was she going to do? As she started going through the options she stopped 'wait a minute. Had he heard her, he didn't seem offended or overly shocked if he did, he'd even smiled when she'd changed the subject straight away' so if he had heard and he wasn't worried about it was there something there that she'd missed? 'stop it Helen' she told herself 'your reading too much into it, just go to sleep and think about it tomorrow' so with that thought on her mind she gave into the sleep that was pulling at her, unaware that there was someone watching

Carson had stopped when he'd reached the door and turned back to look at the sleeping figure, thinking about what he thought she had said. It had sounded something like "go back to bed" and it had been directed at him, which to his surprise actually meant something. Thinking back to the first time he had become aware of the young doctor he smiled. It has been not long after she'd arrived, he'd been asked to assist on one of her projects by Rodney, some biochemical experiment involving wraith DNA he couldn't remember the exact details but he did remember Dr Helen McCoy because he'd been impressed by her knowledge and skill in the sciences but due to the time constraints there hadn't been anytime for socialising. Then not long after that she'd ended up in his care and been in and out of consciousness for most of the time. Then the next occasion he'd spent time with her he had been working to save her life after she'd been bitten by that damned spider. He remembered she'd almost died a couple of times during that 3 day period and each time she'd flat lined it had seemed to effect him more than usual, which was odd as he really didn't know her all that well. Also what was equally strange was the immense relief he had felt when she'd opened her eyes and smiled up at him. But then she had seemed to avoid the infirmary and him completely which had left him with a sense of loss he couldn't explain. Now standing here watching her sleep, he felt content, like this was something he could and wanted to do for the rest of his life, but what was this? What was he feeling? It was almost like something out of one of those romantic novels his mother loved to read. He needed to figure out what feelings toward Dr McCoy were which surprised him as he hadn't had cause to do that in a long time.