Standard Disclaimer: Must I say it again? I don't own the Teen Titans!

Author's Notes: The first big fight scene. Yay for the upcoming action!

Begin!

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Group Dynamics

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The creature known as Kardiak was on the move. It had no intention of letting its meal get away…and it had no intention of fighting before the meal was digested.

Of course, it would defend itself. And there was no way it was going to lose a meal like the last two times it had fought the Teen Titans.

Unfortunately, the troublesome heroes could be quite…persuasive…

"ERAGH!" yelled Robin as he combined two Birdarangs into a sword, then grabbing Starfire's hand as she tossed him into the air at the mechanical monstrosity. Kardiak simply floated to the side…right into the massive rock wall that had erupted from the street, summoned by Terra. The geokinetic broke off a section of the brown monolith, giving Robin a platform to stand on. "Okay Robin, do your thing!"

Robin let his actions speak for him; he gave out a battle cry as his sword sliced through the red, rubbery membrane of Kardiak, causing the juices – and the girl – to spill out. She shrieked as she fell…

WUMP!

…and then she was caught by Beast Boy, the pterodactyl. As he flew off to get the girl to a safe place, Robin yelled, "Okay, the girl's safe! Everyone hear that?"

"Then let Cyborg's butt-kicking commence!" He let loose with his Sonic Cannon, blasting Kardiak through Terra's tower of stone. It was immediately attacked by Starfire, who fired Starbolt after Starbolt at the child-eater.

Out of self-defense, the false heart – the cut by Robin having already healed – wrapped two tentacles around the Tamaranean, shook her back and forth like a rag doll, and slammed her into the street far below. The orange-skinned girl muttered, "Ooh…I see four Silkies…"

Robin grimaced. Kardiak may have been a pushover in their first battles…but they had had the help of Raven's magic back then. Now they had to deal with the monster without her, as she was seeking a cure for Noel and Robert's 'ailment'.

Speaking of those two, where are they? Robin's thought was cut short by Kardiak as it charged at him.

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Savior was often known as a tactician…and for good reason. He constantly went over past battles, analyzing what went right and what went wrong (the latter far more than the former), mentally working on what could have been done better, and – at the end of the day – simply preparing for the next conflict (heck, he's got like two copies of Sun Tzu's Art of War).

Of course, nothing could have quite prepared him for what had now befallen him.

He was stuck to Gauntlet…and judging from the unfortunate head-to-head collision they had endured, he was in for a lot more trouble.

"Okay…" Just calm down Noel, don't lose your temper… "Seeing as how we're both stuck together and uncoordinated at the moment, we'll have to proceed with caution. No fancy stuff in battle."

"Aw, but I LIKE fancy stuff. Especially china. You know, the kind that bulls like to break?"

……is he TRYING to tick me off? Savior just took a deep breath. "You'll just have to hold off on the fancy stuff. I DON'T want us to hit each other again."

"But you hit me all the time!"

"…I don't want us to UNINTENTIONALLY hit each other again."

"Oh."

Savior smacked his head with his right hand. Good grief… "Alright, let's just run. I'LL say what moves we'll do, got it?"

Gauntlet casually said, "Yeah yeah, sure sure."

"Fine, at least we're in agreement." Savior then glanced down the empty street; the others were fighting Kardiak further down by about three blocks. "Then let's go."

"Right-o!" The two burst off running…and then Gauntlet raised his right hand, bringing Savior's up with it. "Now…WE FLY!"

Savior paled. "Wait, I didn't say to get airborne-!"

Too late. Gauntlet sent out a line of yellow energy, which latched onto a nearby billboard. "Hi-ho Yellow, AWAAAAAY!" The two were immediately sent airborne, much to Savior's chagrin. The two closed the distance in a matter of moments…and Kardiak was surrounded by a storm of levitating rocks, blue sonic blasts, green Starbolts and exploding discs.

"YOU IDIOT! DON'T GO STRAIGHT INTO THE FIGHT!" roared Savior.

"And resist the chance of hogging the glory?" He don't know me vewy well, do he? Gauntlet quite fluidly jumped from rock to rock, getting ever closer to their target.

Unfortunately, seeing as how Gauntlet was doing all of the moves, Savior was trying his hardest to not get hit…and he was being unsuccessful. He was being peppered by rocks on all sides (and the occasional Starbolt…and a boulder or two), and he was getting fed up. "GAUNTLET! THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO FIGHT!"

"And resist a chance to cleave this beast in twain? Surely you jest!" And so Gauntlet formed a yellow sword, raising it above his head. "Be felled by the blade, you…er…well, anyone who's played World of Warcraft can fill in the rest!" He swung.

Kardiak dodged.

Gauntlet then saw a hollow tentacle right in front of him. "Uh oh."

SHOOP!

Savior and Gauntlet were now inside Kardiak.

Savior glared at him. "I trucking hate you." Another groan.

"You read EGM's 'Big Mutha Trucker's' review?" asked Gauntlet. "Wow. And I thought you hated games."

Savior just fumed.

On the outside, Robin sweatdropped. "Wonderful. Okay guys, hold back on your attack until they get out!"

As the others backed away, Savior took this as his cue. "Okay Gauntlet, just don't do anything. I'm getting us out of here!" The Shimmer extended from his right hand's fingers, morphing into blades.

Suddenly, Kardiak pointed one of its tentacles at the incoming Beast Boy, who was just on his way back from dropping off the girl with the police.

Savior blinked. "Uh oh."

Kardiak shot them out of its body, causing the two to crash into Beast Boy. With a tremendous crash, they landed on the street below.

Before Robin could say anything, Kardiak suddenly sucked up several of Terra's rocks into his tentacles and started firing at the team. Robin yelped as he was forced to vacate his floating platform, using his grappling hook to escape harm. "Terra! Get your rocks away from Kardiak!"

"Gotcha!" Terra's hands glowed as her rock storm ceased, the boulders and pebbles clattering on the street below. She quickly set down on the street, running to Beast Boy's side. "Beast Boy! You okay?"

"Just five more minutes…" mumbled the Changeling, his eyes spinning.

That's when Terra suddenly realized that Gauntlet and Savior weren't in the crater with Beast Boy. Where'd they go?

"TERRA! STOP OOGLING BEAST BOY AND HELP OUT!" roared Cyborg as he dodged Kardiak's own rock barrage.

"Oh, right!" mumbled Terra, her face red. As she dragged Beast Boy into an alley, she was thankful he hadn't been conscious enough to hear that. Thanks a lot Cyborg! I wasn't even looking at him! Not that I would mind lookingAH! FOCUS! Terra immediately leapt on one of the fallen boulders and took to the air.

As for Savior and Gauntlet…

xxxx

…they had gone into the toy store down the street.

Well, more like Gauntlet had gone in and dragged Savior behind him.

"May I ask, pray tell, what we're doing in a toy store?"

"I figured out a way to beat Kardiak," replied Gauntlet as he looked up and down the aisles. "Pokemon, Digimon, Tamagotchi…Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman…G.I. Joe, Thundercats…they still make toys for He-Man? NEXT AISLE."

Savior would've objected by either pulling Gauntlet out of the store or punching him in the face (and he felt like doing the latter). Unfortunately, Gauntlet had him inside a little bubble of Gauntlet energy, and he couldn't do much except sit. Personally, it was very annoying. Deciding to keep himself from bursting a blood vessel in any way possible, he asked, "And what way would that be?"

"And spoil it for the audience?"

CRASH!

"AAAH!" squealed the female at the cash register. "The wall just collapsed!"

Savior glared at Gauntlet. Gauntlet innocently replied, "Oh come now, we've broken the fourth wall lots of times and-FOUND IT." Gauntlet grabbed the box. "I'm surprised they still have toys like this in stock."

Savior glanced at the box through the sphere…and looked utterly dumbfounded. "How the junk is THAT supposed to help?"

"Once you find out, you'll be praising me for my genius!" replied Gauntlet with a twinkle in his eyes.

More like committing you into an insane asylum, thought Savior with a frown.

"Sorry bub, but you already went to the loony bin, so I can't do that. It'd be too unoriginal."

"…what?" How'd he know what I was thinking? Savior paled; did that bonding spell somehow allow Gauntlet do read his thoughts? Come to think of it, when he said I liked to overreact at the Tower…I was thinking about how he was making me dumber…

"Good grief man, stop thinking! You're giving me a headache," complained the blonde teen as he walked out of the store and took off running.

Savior grimaced; he'd have to bring this new matter up to Raven back at the Tower.

Suddenly, a look of realization crossed his face. "…wait a second…did you buy that toy?"

"…uh…"

"You STOLE it?"

"I think of it as a gift for all our hard work."

"Stealing is stealing! Take it back!"

The sphere immediately disappeared, and Savior was suddenly being dragged along the asphalt.

"OW! HEY!"

"Revenge, my dear Watson."

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Kardiak's tentacles suddenly started to shift. The nanites that the tentacles were composed of were very malleable, and allowed for a good deal of metamorphosis. The tentacles turned into hands as the creature hovered over the ground, making good use of Terra's own rocks as projectiles.

Cyborg was occupied with just blasting and punching the rocks that came his way. "Aw for the love of…TERRA! Can't you take this all away from Kardiak!"

"I'm trying Cy! There's simply too many!" screamed the geokinetic as she stopped all rocks that came her way. In the panic induced by Kardiak's assault, she didn't think of merely squishing Kardiak with the road. But then again, since when did superheroes do things the easy way?

Unfortunately, Kardiak was a bit more willing to go the easier way. Its hands wedged into the asphalt, lifting it up with relative ease. Then, with a mighty heave, the monstrosity flipped a massive section of the road up, threatening to crush Cyborg and Terra.

"Uh…that's not good," muttered Cyborg as the road curled upward like a wave, threatening to swallow them whole. "Not good, not good, not good!"

"INCOMING!"

Terra and Cyborg whirled around as Beast Boy morphed into a triceratops, smashing into the road wave. The pavement shattered into a shower of asphalt and stone, raining down harmlessly.

Beast Boy turned back to his normal self, grinning widely. "Well?"

Cyborg grinned. "I always knew that hard head of yours was good for something!"

"Ha ha ha! You got that right!" Then he blinked. "Wait…HEY!"

"You guys can argue later, LOOK OUT!" Terra's scream gave Cyborg and Beast Boy enough time to dodge Kardiak's charge. Apparently, it was now content with simply ramming into the meddlesome teens that had interfered and rescued its food.

However, Robin and Starfire were immediately there to continue the fight. Starfire fired green beams from her eyes, pushing Kardiak back as Robin grabbed his grappling hook and fired. The sharp tip embedded itself into Kardiak's gooey innards, and the Teen Wonder immediately handed the device to Starfire, who used one hand to keep him from falling. "NOW!"

Starfire clutched the grip with her right hand as she flew high into the sky. The hook remained latched inside Kardiak…and the mechanical beast went upward as well. Naturally, it struggled to break free, but the hook managed to hold. Starfire continued flying upward, dropping Robin onto the roof of a skyscraper as she continued ascending into the sky and above the clouds.

Finally, she immediately zoomed downwards. Kardiak jerked as it was suddenly pulled in the opposite direction. Faster and faster…

Starfire abruptly swung, sending Kardiak towards the ground at an even higher speed. She let go of the grappling hook, leaving the monster to its fate.

KA-RACK!

A miniature thunderclap rang through the air as Kardiak slammed into the already-ruined road, creating a miniature shockwave that rippled outwards, shattering several dozen nearby windows. Smoke and rubble shot into the air, giving the nearby law enforcement teams waiting to move in a bit of a scare.

Starfire hovered up to Robin and bashfully said, "I hope you do not mind that I have lost your 'grabbing hook'."

Robin smiled. "No worries. I've got plenty back home." He then held out his hand. "Nice move by the way."

Starfire smiled even more widely as she grabbed her boyfriend's hand. "It was your idea. Kardiak is 'the roadkill' now, yes?"

"That would be correct," replied Robin as he descended with Starfire to the ground below.

Then his eyes widened. "Uh…I may have spoken too soon."

Indeed; the mechanical monstrosity was already moving. Its body had taken a battering, but it would go on as long as it could. At least, until its power source – a top-secret device that was somehow powered by the genetic material of those Kardiak fed upon – ran out of juice.

Suddenly, Gauntlet and Savior walked through the dust cloud that had been formed from the monster's collision. However, Savior looked a bit worse for the wear, no thanks to the fact that Gauntlet had dragged him across several blocks worth of pavement.

Savior glared at his tormenter, growling "You're putting me through Mary Sue-to-canon character level abuse."

"Yeah yeah, tell it to Phil," jokingly retorted Gauntlet. YES! I was SO waiting to use that line on him! "And now…for Kardiak!"

The monstrosity's tentacles shifted into deadly looking spikes. It was through playing around.

However, Gauntlet had an ace up his sleeve. "And now, I shall defeat you…WITH THE POWER OF HEART!" He thrust his left arm up, which had a golden ring with a red heart on it.

Silence.

Nothing happened.

Savior dryly said, "Congratulations. You've accomplished nothing. Now what?"

"Just felt like doing that," commented Gauntlet as he took the ring off. "And now for the real plan!"

Kardiak charged.

The ring, surrounded by golden energy, was launched by Gauntlet.

"This isn't going to work…" muttered Savior.

The ring penetrated the metallic gray base in which all of Kardiak's major systems resided and from which his tentacles sprouted.

Kardiak promptly and instantaneously dropped to the ground, stiff as a corpse.

Savior just looked on as if losing his sanity was a normal thing. "…I think I'm going to snap just by asking…but how in the Wichita did that work?" He blinked; that didn't even SOUND like the swear word he had used.

"It's simple! Using the principle that two wrongs don't make a right, two hearts don't make a living person. Therefore, two hearts equals death!"

Savior just stared. "…can I have whatever drugs you're on?"

In all actuality, Gauntlet had simply jammed the ring inside Kardiak's power source, disrupting the flow of energy to the rest of the creature. But why spoil Gauntlet's fun, or Savior's misery?

"Well, at least we managed to stop Kardiak," said Robin as he stepped onto the scene with the others. A crew from S.T.A.R. Labs was already approaching, to properly 'dispose' of Kardiak (although Robin knew they would just lock it up and study it. He often wondered if the scientists ever REALLY disposed of anything that came their way). "Was the girl okay Beast Boy?"

"Roger Robin!"

"Good…so I suppose that's it then," finished Robin.

"Good then!" exclaimed Cyborg. "Cause I'm in the mood to go home and make some ol'fashioned pizza: Cy-Style!"

Beast Boy asked, "Will it include tofu?"

"NO!"

"Then it'll probably taste like a stone," cracked the Changeling. Terra snickered.

Cyborg slyly grinned. "You know, Garfield would eat my pizza."

Beast Boy twitched as he transformed into Garfield the Cat. "Okay, you got me there." Terra continued to have her laughs.

Meanwhile, Savior and Gauntlet were already on the way back to the Tower…well, mostly Savior swinging there. Gauntlet had conveniently decided to become a dead weight again.

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Noon.

Titans Tower.

Raven's room.

Raven stared quizzically at Robert. "You're saying you could hear Noel's thoughts?"

"You say it like it's something big. You hear thoughts all the time!"

"I feel people's emotions, not their thoughts. I'm an empath. If you want a psychic, call the Martian Manhunter," calmly replied Raven.

Gauntlet shrugged. "I'm just saying…anyway, can I go now? I'm hungry."

"No. I want to know if there's any other abnormalities," asked Raven. "Is there anything else odd you want to tell me?"

Robert held up his right hand, still conjoined to Noel's left (the Gauntlet was deactivated). "Aside from the fact I'm stuck to him? No." Then he looked thoughtful. "Well, except this."

All of a sudden, several Shimmer strands wiggled out of Noel's nose as Robert dramatically roared, "FIST OF THE NOSE HAIR STYLE: SNOT FOR YOU!"

Savior impulsively recalled the Shimmer, pinching his nose as he stared at Gauntlet in astonishment. "What the? HOW THE COMMA DID YOU PULL THAT OFF?"

"Not sure," muttered Robert, looking disinterested. "I'm not really thinking clearly, due to the fact I haven't eaten lunch yet. And I can practically SMELL the pizza."

"So can I," remarked Raven. "The kitchen's just down the hall."

"SEE? I'm so hungry that even she can smell the pizza!"

"I'm still not hearing how you managed to use the Shimmer!"

"QUIET." Raven's tone silenced them both. "Judging from what research I've done on the last spell Robert cast, it would seem that if it's cast incorrectly, the fusing is done gradually, bit by bit. As things stand, the person who cast the spell to begin with will start feeling the effects first…hence why Robert is able to hear Noel's thoughts, and is also able to command the Shimmer. Even if you can't override Noel's control."

Gauntlet snickered. "If I could, I'd rewire his brain! Think of the experimentation! I could create…FRANKENBERT'S MONSTER, THE FALLEN SAVIOR!"

"…"

"What, you don't get it? You know, Frankenbert? Taking the 'bert' from Robert and fusing it with Frankenstein."

"…"

"Sheesh, tough crowd."

POW!

Gauntlet was promptly knocked unconscious by the right hook to his face. Savior exhaled with total relief. "That felt SO good."

"Rough time?"

"You have no idea," remarked Savior.

"Look on the bright side," offered Raven with a slight smile. "At least it can't get any worse."

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Murphy's Law: If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.

And it had indeed gotten worse, as Noel watched the news in the main living room while Gauntlet ate leftover pizza for dinner. It was time for the evening news…and guess what they showed?

"HEROEROTICA: SAVIOR AND GAUNTLET ARE 'TEAMMATES' IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE. FIND OUT IN OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT WHAT WE GLEANED FROM WATCHING TODAY'S BATTLE BETWEEN THE TEEN TITANS AND THE MONSTROSITY KNOWN AS KARDIAK."

Savior just muttered, "As I've said before, over and over again…the mass media sucks eggs."

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To be continued…

Next time…

Days In Our Sucky Lives…

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Author's Notes: The pain has just begun for Noel and Robert. I'm sure some of you are wondering why Savior seems to be getting the brunt of the punishment…call it universal retribution for putting down Gauntlet all the time. :P

In any case, next chapter also features the appearance of a canon character that…LM hasn't introduced yet!

(GASP!)

See you soon, and please review!