Ok this took less time to update than I thought it would, yay?
Also I've decided to start dedicating chapters to random people because it makes me feel cool. So this chapter is dedicated to Lilikoifish (because she has reviewed ever chapter as of so far). To Princessdaisyroxs (because we talk about random things which I'm sure in some wacky way helped me update faster). And to Dark Mistletoe (because she brought me hot soup when I was ill).
Disclaimer: I still own nothing.
Warning: I still warn you of the fear and terror this chapter will probably contain, also this warning makes no sense.
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"Rebecca, Lowen, I am your tactician and once again I wish to ask for your assistance as noble fighters."
"Yessir! Rebecca saluted.
"It will be dangerous, but I have the most amazingly super-cool, awesomely fantastic, greatly great, horrendously magical, superbly rock-on, terrifyingly dazzling, immensely wonderful, so in-genius that it will rock your mismatching socks all the way off, so evil that it'll make Nergal look like Lucius himself, (un) original idea!"
"And that is…?"
"We're going to find Eliwood a wife from 'The real world'!"
Lowen and Rebecca both blinked, not that you could tell that Lowen blinked but we'll just assume he did.
"So what is this 'The real world'?" Lowen asked bewildered.
"Perplexing isn't it?" Ginny scratched her chin. "Well let me explain, you see, first we have our world in all it's Elibe-y goodness then there is the place that the author usually forgets the name of but she thinks it might be Magvel. Next there's the place that the author really has no idea for a name… but she does know that a boy called Ike lives there. And lastly we have 'The real world'. Such a terrible place." She shook her head in pity for all the people forced to live in 'The real world'.
"Then why should we find him a wife from there?"
"Because I said so. Now stop asking questions boy." Ginny snapped.
"But if it's such a horrible place why bother?"
"Well you see dearest Rebecca," Ginny began in a much lighter tone "in 'The real world' there are lots of people known as 'fan girls' and some of them are 'Eliwood fan girls' This means they'll be happy to marry him."
"And what if Lord Eliwood doesn't want to marry a 'fan girl'?"
"Shut up Lowen I'm sick of your futile questions!"
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"Gun fishen." Marcus read of the note stuck to the top of Eliwood's head. "If weer not bake spoon means peranas eight us… or crocidillys. Frum Ginnie, Loween und Rebeckah (also Wil cus he felt like cominn)."
"They didn't look like they were going fishing when they left… they were all carrying weapons and nets…"
"Well everyone uses nets for fishing milord, you're paranoid."
"No, Heath's paranoid; I'm cautious."
"Of course milord."
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…But what Eliwood and Marcus didn't know was the Ginny, Lowen, Rebecca and Wil actually were fishing.
"RAWR! I caught another one! Fear me world, my name is Ginny!"
Everyone turned round to face their insane tactician. "I though we were going to 'The real world' though."
"BWAHAHAHAHAR! Stop changing the subject Wil, you're clearly just jealous that I've caught more fish that the lot of you put together."
"Well, maybe but… hey! These fish are made of rubber!"
"Accusing me of using rubber fish to make it look like I had caught more fish than you? Demon!"
"Well I didn't say anything like that but-"
"Pfft! We're going to 'The real world'!"
How did it happen? It's impossible to say, it's even more complex than explaining how all those Mary-Sue tacticians somehow ended up travelling with Lyn one after the other after the other. A huge blue and orange blur appeared seemingly from nowhere began to suck our four brave heroes up and dunked them out in a world so horrifying it made onions cry! -GASP!-
"So this is the 'The real world'…" Wil said looking around.
"What is? I can't see!" Lowen waves his hands around frantically until two men in white coats decided to silence him with their silencers of doom!
"Right lets go find some 'fan girls'."
So that is why if you went out yesterday you may have heard three Fire Emblem character look-alikes and a girl dressed in green yelling 'Are you sick of reading heart wrenching EliwoodxNinian, EliwoodxLyn, EliwoodxFiora and EliwoodxHector fics? Do you think that YOU would make a better wife for him? Then come with us! The crazy psycho people who have candy, puppies and Lord Eliwood himself!'
And if you did just so happen to hear them, and if you did just so happen to go with them; then I'm terribly sorry but I'm afraid to say that you have become a victim to my horrible writing.
It wasn't long before there were four nets filled with hyper ecstatic girls (because everyone loves Eliwood just that much). Ginny once again summoned the huge blue and orange blur to take them back to Elibe.
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"Right so here's the plan. I'll go for a walk with Eliwood, thus distracting him while you two cook dinner for him and the guests."
"Right away."
"And what about me?"
"You Wil, can come and find me when dinner's ready."
"Right! Um… and how do I find you?"
"I don't know, you just do."
"Why do we need to cook dinner in the first place?" Rebecca asked.
"To show Marcus that we actually know how to play matchmaker, unlike him just bringing any old girl and shoving her in Lord Eliwood's face. Ha! Matchmaker, whatever."
"Um… did I miss something?" Everyone turned around to face Eliwood who was standing in the doorway."
"Uh… nothing at all my duck. C'mon, lets go for a walk and repress some memories!" Ginny began to pull Eliwood out of the room mouthing the words 'Don't forget the dessert' to Rebecca and Lowen as she left.
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"Wasn't travelling fun?" Ginny asked as she skipped along a few paces in front of Eliwood. "Hey! You remember that time when Matthew was chatting up Serra before Leila died, don't you?" (1)
"Um… no."
"Oh, that was fun. Do you remember that time when we threw Guy of the side of that pirate ship to see if we could make him even more seasick?"
"Um… no."
Ginny snorted, "How can you forget something like that?"
"Are you sure that wasn't just a dream you had?"
"No, no. I remember it all so clearly, Matthew had to jump in and save him from drowning. Then there were MatthewxGuy fics being written for weeks afterwards about how Matthew only saved him because he loved him."
"I'm sorry but I remember none of this."
"Eliwood my boy, you have the memory of a fish."
"What was that?" Eliwood asked turning round and drawing his rapier.
"What was what?"
"I heard a noise."
"And you're going to fight whatever it is off with a rapier… oh threatening." Ginny retorted sarcastically.
"Well, you think of a better weapon then."
"Already found one." Ginny said picking up a stick lying on the ground. "Come out with your hands up fiend! We have sticks!"
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Yeah that cliffe was way too cliché, but I'd love to know who or what you think is in the bush (It's not Wil!).
(1) It's TRUE! Matthew can get an A with Serra before Leila dies, and he says 'She's not bad looking…' then they have an ending together! And not just any old 'Nils and Ninian' non-romantic ending, they go out! -GASP- For all I know that could be the last conversation they have before they have their 'lil' ending, what kind of crap fiancé is Matthew? Hmph!
Ok, so for the next chapter Eliwood will meet the fan girls also I will be using an idea Mullenium Master said about using fan characters or OC characters (My memories far from perfect) so if you have an OC/fan character/whatever then tell me about them, something like:
1. Name
2. Looks
3. Personality
4. (A) reason(s) why Eliwood wouldn't marry them.
And they could be starring in the next chapter of Marcus' Matchmaking!
