The Gilmore-Grey Union Book II: The Homecoming

By Michael Weyer

POV: Lorelai

I am sitting here with my…cousin? Sister-in-law? What do I call her now? In the airport. Waiting for my daughter and her…

Come on, Lorelai, push it out.

Husband…to arrive home. I've actually managed to bond with the sister of the man who has wrecked my daughter's life. This isn't life, this is a Woody Allen flick.

She's still staring at me and I know she's trying to figure out whether or not I've been Nip/Tucking. I sigh and decide to get it out in the open right off the bat. Might as well start off on as good a point as I can, right? "I had Rory when I was 16."

She makes an "oooh" face and nods, seeming to accept it, which surprises me a little. "Yeah, birth control was not as big a concern back then, much to our later regret."

She nods slowly. "So, you got pregnant…had Rory…" She pauses. "Pardon a personal question…"

"Well, hell, why would I start now?"

"Why Rory? I mean, it's an odd name."

"It's short for Lorelai."

She gives me the look that I'm used to. The one people always give when they hear this for the first time. "You named your daughter after yourself?"

I get defensive. "Hey, you've been there too! You know how crazy it gets with the pain and drugs and stuff! You try to find an easy name off the top of your head in that situation!"

She seems to begrudge the point there. "Okay, but um…" She shakes her head. "Sorry, this is such a weird situation for us."

"Try being in my shoes," I say with a deep sigh. "She should be in Yale now, not coming home with a new husband."

"Don't blame yourself," she says, putting a hand on my own. "Trust me, Vincent has a track record for pulling people into dumb situations. Do what we're doing, put the blame on him."

I smile at her. "Can I really? Thanks."

"Listen, Lorelai," she continues. "We will handle this. First of all, do you want them to stay married?"

I shake my head vehemently. "No way. The only wedding bells I want to hear are mine."

She nods. "Then we're on the same page already. We're the first line, we talk to them first, we get this settled first, we press on them what a huge mistake this is and that it's best for them to break it off, get it annulled and move on with their lives."

I quickly salute. "Got your back, GI Jane!"

She giggles but then sobers. "Of course, we also have a bigger duty. It's up to us to shield them from the real danger."

"Which is?"

"My mother."

I wince and shake my head. "Uh-huh. It's my mom we have to worry about."

"Oh, no, no, my mother is…oh, Lord, the woman can be judgmental as hell."

I bark out a laugh. "HA! Please! I don't care how bad she is, my mother makes Joan Crawford look like Mother Theresa!"

She rolls her eyes. "My mother is still getting mileage out of guilt trips she put on me back in high school."

"High school? My mom had my life planned out by the day before I could walk!"

"My mother has been dismissive of just about every man I've ever been with."

"My mom almost broke up my relationship to my fiancée because she wanted me and Rory's father together. Top that!

She frowns and I think I've won. "Well, ok." She shakes her head. "So, all right, that just proves that we have to do all it takes to keep this from becoming more of a debacle than it already is."

I sigh deeper than ever. "We can try. But I'm warning you right now, when Emily Gilmore gets going, you'll get more snide remarks and snippy judgments than Joan and Melissa on the red carpet."

She's about to reply when a bustle of movement gets out attention and we look up to see a crowd of passengers exiting from the gate where the Atlantic City flight was coming from. I look to her and take a breath. "Ready, Thelma?"

She gives me a funny look as we stand and make our way to the gate. I have to admit, I'm kind of starting to like her. Maybe we could have been friends under different circumstances. But since we're caught in the middle of two dumb kids and two Lady Macbeths, I doubt that's gonna happen.

Into the breach, Lorelai. Your new son awaits.