Warnings: Potential spoiler, yaoi.
Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite and the characters depicted aren't originally gay.

Notes: I apologize for my poor English, I'm not a native speaker and I didn't have anyone to proof-read it for me. If you see any mistakes, feel free to point them out. The second chapter is a lot softer. I wonder if I should go on or just stop here...

Darkest Desires

Chapter 2

Ichigo ran desperately for some blocks and then stopped. He bent his body forward supporting his weight with his hands on his knees. He was panting, he was awfully ashamed, he couldn't even focus the ground before him. He couldn't believe on what had happened, or worse, he couldn't believe on what he had done. That had been his first time, and it had been with a guy. It was the Hollow inside him, the damn Hollow. He was always taking over him no matter how hard he tried to suppress him. Did what just happened really count? He had never thought of Ishida in such a way, at least not even once that he was aware of. So what now? Did this mean he was gay? Ichigo started remembering how the Quincy's body felt hot rubbing against his and the sound of his breath with each push...

"NO! What the fuck am I thinking! Shit. Fucking Hollow, I can't believe it! Dammit!" He cursed hopelessly holding his head between his hands and closing his eyes, trying to deny these sick thoughts. Looking down, he realized the zipers in his pants were still open and blushed a little while fixing himself up. Thank god it was dark and there wasn't anyone around.

It suddenly came across him that he shouldn't have run leaving Ishida behind in such a state. It wasn't Ishida's fault, it's not like he had asked for that, right? Now that he thought about it... that was almost like a rape. He didn't want to see him though, he didn't know how to face him after all this. Ishida must hate him. But... he could be hurt... he couldn't leave him like that. Before he knew it, his legs had already brought him back to where Ishida was.

And Ishida was still there, on his four. He was already dressed up again and looked kinda pathetic staring at the pair of glasses in his hands, which had been crushed by Ichigo. He was lost in his thoughts, wondering if he should take the glasses with him or just throw them away since they were no more of use. And where would he find another pair of glasses? They had classes tomorrow in the morning.

Ichigo stopped on his tracks and just stared at him from afar. Ishida looked fine. If it wasn't for the messy hair and the ripped open shirt, no one would suspect of what had just happened.

Holding the broken glasses in his hands, Ishida soon stood up and Ichigo hid from him without noticing it. Ishida looked back over his shoulder and sighed a bit irritated. Like he didn't know Ichigo was right there... He decided not to say anything. Considering the way Ichigo had reacted when he returned back to himself and how he could be stubborn and contradictory, he should be disturbed enough by now, he thought.

Ishida decided to go back home. Grabbing the small plastic bag he had dropped before, he went on his way. Ichigo, still watching him suspiciously, decided to follow him just to make sure he was really alright. He soon realized Ishida was walking really slowly, and at times he would lose his balance or stumble at something, fumbling the walls and holding onto the light posts. Ichigo watched the clumsy dark-haired boy in disbelief, and soon grew worried. Maybe Ishida wasn't feeling well, and the glasses... what if he couldn't see a thing without them? This wasn't looking good. Hadn't he realize Ichigo was following him? And what if a Hollow showed up? Ichigo hastened his pace and reached out for Ishida calling out for him awkwardly.

"Er... Ishida!"

Ishida turned back at him narrowing his eyes at the blurry image of the orange hair, very visible even at night. He didn't look surprised, and he didn't reply, just stared at Ichigo looking a bit bored and annoyed. Ichigo turned away, unable to look right at him and mumbled annoyedly.

"Hm... are you okay? It's just that you're wandering around like a drunk... stumbling over every little thing on the way like an idiot, you know..."

Dammit, this wasn't how it was supposed to come out, he should apologize or something. He was just worried, he didn't want Ishida to hate him, why was it so hard? Ishida replied finally, sounding dry, sarcastic and a bit arrogant, like he usually would.

"Yes, I'm feeling great, Kurosaki. And you? After all that you decided to become my stalker now?"

"What! I not stalking you, you idiot! I was just... oh, forget it! Since you're feeling so great I'm going, seeya."

Ichigo was turning away when he noticed Ishida was leaning on the wall, and now that he was closer he could see in his face how it was taking all his effort to just act normal and composed, when in reality he was very fatigued.

"You idiot..."

He grumbled and before Ishida could protest, Ichigo took his arm over his shoulder and went on carrying him home, while Ishida just let it go, he was too tired to argue with the shinigami.

When they got in the apartment, Ichigo placed Ishida carefully on the sofa in the living room.

"So I'm leaving..." He looked at Ishida all wasted on the sofa and around at the empty apartment. He wondered if he could really leave him like that. He came closer to the Quincy and decided to nag at him again.

"Hey, Ishida... You should take a bath. If you're so tired I can help you. You just can't stay lying there looking so pathetic."

Ishida stared at him angrily and frowned, and Ichigo knew he had done it again. The dark-haired boy was blushing a bit too, he didn't like the part about helping him in the bath very much. Ignoring Ishida's reactions, Ichigo went on into the bathroom and started filling the bath tub with hot water. When he turned around to go pick up Ishida, he found him standing right in front of him, which made him blush a bit in surprise and also because Ishida was so close to him. Ishida looked kinda sleepy, swaying a bit on his feet, and Ichigo felt the urge to hold him. The pale boy looked at him coldly, dismissing him right away.

"I can take a bath by myself."

And he went on to the bath tub removing his shirt. Ichigo turned away, and Ishida suddenly lost his balance feeling some pain while trying to take his pants off. Ichigo quickly turned back and reached out for him trying to hold him before he collapsed, but ended up stepping on Ishida's pants that were on the floor and they both fell into the bath tub, with Ichigo on top.

Water had splashed all over. Ishida stared at Ichigo silently with the black strands of hair dripping wet between his eyes. Ichigo, now grumpier than ever, frowned. He was soaking wet, his clothes all sticking to his body. Ichigo raised his face awkwardly when he noticed he was staring at Ishida's naked body, and blushed while meeting Ishida's eyes. From so close to him, he could see how Ishida's eyes were blue and beautiful, he looked really nice without his glasses. And he was always so serious, he realized when he was staring at the lips that smiled so rarely. As Ichigo wouldn't stop staring at him in such a way, Ishida blinked and his cheeks blushed. This was the real Ichigo staring at him, not the Hollow inside him. He looked away feeling a bit uncomfortable, he had never thought of Ichigo that way, had he? So why he suddenly wanted Ichigo to hold him? This could never happen, what the hell was he thinking?

"Kurosaki..."

Ichigo blinked many times, pulled back to reality.

"Uh? Dammit, I'm all wet!"

He stood up quickly getting out of the bath tub and took his wet shirt off, drying himself with a towel. He looked back at Ishida who was pretty much static, like he had been for the past half an hour.

"I guess I'll have to borrow some clothes from you... hey, Ishida? Didn't you hit your head somewhere?"

He kneeled beside the bath tub placing his hand on Ishida's head. He caressed him lightly with the tips of his fingers, looking for any sign of wounds under the wet strands of hair. Actually only an excuse to touch him. Ishida closed his eyes slowly at the warm and soothing feeling. He realized Ichigo had this effect on people. Although he could be pretty stubborn and he would get irritated very easily, he always knew what to say or what to do to cheer up others. Ishida was nearly falling asleep when Ichigo called for him again.

"Come on, Ishida. Time to get out of the water."

"Would you stop telling me what to do? I'm not crippled, Kurosaki."

"It seems you're feeling better." Ichigo smiled. Ishida seemed to be back to normal, he was awfully quiet before.

Ishida sat down on the sofa again wearing a white bath robe. Ichigo sat down right beside him, he was wearing Ishida's pants, which were a little short for him. Ishida stared at Ichigo's bare chest without noticing it, he had a very nice build. He closed his eyes a bit and forced himself to look to the other side.

"Ishida..." Ichigo suddenly began to talk without looking at him.

"You know... about what happened... I'll understand if you hate me."

Ishida looked back at him with a serious expression.

"I don't hate you, Ichigo..."

Ichigo blushed, he didn't know if it was because of what Ishida had just said or if it was because he was calling him by the first name. This weird feeling, he just wanted to kiss him. He now asked himself if the Hollow inside him was really himself with no repressed wishes and desires, only instinct... if things were this way... everything he was feeling now would make sense. Maybe... he had always been attracted to Ishida.

While Ichigo was lost in deep thoughts, Ishida had come dangerously closer to him, driven by an impulse, he didn't really know what he was doing. But, before he could regret it, Ichigo leaned forward touching his lips gently with his own. Ishida didn't draw back, closing his eyes. And they kissed each other passionately forgetting about everything that was happening for a brief moment.

(to be continued...)