A/N; hello everyone. This is just a short little one shot, my first actually. But it's about Rikku and Gippal, and it's based on the song "Siberia" by the Back Street Boys. Please read and let me know what you think.
Italics is the song
Siberia
I don't really want to be here. I mean... well I do. It's Yunie's wedding reception and I'm glad I'm here to witness here to witness this, to see her truly happy. She looks absolutely gorgeous, but I don't want to see Him, why did he have to be here. That arrogant jackass, that ... that stupid excuse for a human being.
Of course thinking my venomous thoughts led my mind to memories I would've preferred not to remember.
I was 15 and he was 16, it was right before I was to leave to go be Yuna's guardian, after my kidnaping attempts failed, we were at the oasis watching the sun rise. He had been acting distant for a while. This was the first real together time we've had for a while.
"Rikku, I'm sorry." He told me silently.
"Sorry? Sorry for what" I asked, turning away form the fading orange and pink of the sky, to face him.
"For what I'm about to do." He said, his voice full of pain.
I looked at him with a confused face.
"I think it would be better if we were just friends." He said not looking me in the eye.
"Are... Are you breaking up with me?" I asked, my heart splitting in two.
He just looked away.
"It's because of that Atalia girl. Isn't it?" I asked angrily.
He didn't say anything.
"You're a two timing bastard. You know that?" I spat at him angrily.
I'm pretty sure I yelled some other profanities at him, but I can't recall exactly which ones, though I'm pretty sure it was all of them.
"Rikku, it's not like that." He said, his voice laced with pain.
"Then what is it like?" I shouted, my eyes filling up with tears.
"Do you think this is easy for me? That I'm some kind of cold hearted bastard? Well it's not easy and I'm not a cold hearted bastard, Rikku, you know that. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"Then why are yo doing it? I thought everything was perfect between us." I asked.
"I don't deserve you. You're our leaders daughter, a princess if you will, I could never hope to be able to give you what you need, what you deserve." He told me.
"Do you really think I care? That I'm the type of person who gives a damn about my birthright, about what some people think I deserve? I go by what my heart tells, and not by my so called birthright."
"But your father wouldn't accept me." He replied.
"I don't care what my father thinks about you Gippal, I accept you, and that should be enough." I paused for a few seconds, the morning breeze ruffling my hair." I've considered my self to be a pretty good judge of character, and so far no one's let me down. But I guess with you I failed. I trusted you completely. The reason why I lo... why I liked you so much was because I thought you liked me for who I was, and not because of who my father is. I thought you were the only person who treated me as an equal, who regarded and accepted my opinions because they were what I truly felt and not because you felt obliged to because I'm Cid's daughter, but because you cared for me, Rikku, just plain Rikku. But I guess I was wrong" My voice took on a steely edge. "You're just like everyone else, so go, go to your precious, normal, Atalia." I said contemptuously.
I've never seen such a lost look, as the one I saw on Gippal's face that day. But I had refused to let it affect me as I walked away form Gippal, heading back to Home. That night I had packed my things and left to find Yunie. From that day on I had practically shut out my heart. I had refused to allow my self to feel love for anyone intimately. I only loved my friends and family.
That was until I saw you again at Djose with the Gullwings. You were absolutely gorgeous. I had never seen anyone more handsome than you that day. I had then internally berated myself for thinking such thoughts. But when I had saw you again, that wall I had built around my heart started to crack ever so slightly .
It cracked even more that time when you mentioned to Yunie and Paine, to my complete embarrassment because I had never told them about us and to find out from you, well lets just say that wasn't the best way for them to find out that "we made quite the couple". Hearing you say that completely destroyed the wall around my heart and all of the memories of us together came back. That shove I gave you, that was because the memory of you breaking up with me returned at full force.
But then of course I remembered that you broke up with Atalia not more than two weeks later because you caught her with someone else, made me feel a whole lot better about the situation. Of course that didn't stop Yuna and Paine form hounding me with questions later on, but oh well what can you do about it?
With the memories that returned it became harder for me to remain the happy-go-lucky person that I was know for, but around Yuna and Paine it was as if nothing had happened, I was able to forget, even for a little while our past, but when I was alone with my memories it was hell. I kept thinking about us. All my day dreams, were about us, together, always. You know that Al Bhed saying, "Memories are nice, but that's all they are.", well I was mad at my self, why couldn't I think that way about you, why did I ave to let those memories affect me? But after a while I just accepted them for what they were, and got over the self anger.
I snapped out of my revere when a new song started playing. A slow song for all of the couples, and my heat slowly sank, remembering that I'm alone, that I don't have anyone to dance with. So I sat where I was and slowly sipped my drink. I wouldn't let anyone know what I was feeling. If anyone asked why I was sitting out I'd just say my feet were hurting. Which wasn't lie. These heels were killing me.
I looked over at the dance floor and to my extreme surprise, couldn't find Gippal. Hadn't he been dancing with some random brunet not moments before. Oh well, what did I care. I closed my eyes and took a sip of my drink, enjoying the pleasing taste of wine on my tongue. I opened my eyes and almost chocked on my drink. There was Gippal, standing right in front of me, when a few seconds ago I couldn't even find him. Where the hell did he come form?
"Do you want to dance?" he asked me, holding out his hand.
When you come back I won't be here
When I returned to Home, right before Home was destroyed, I looked for you but you weren't there. I thought as I noticed the song as I began playing.
My head was screaming at me not to go, to ignore his hand, but my heart won out. I put down my drink and took his hand all while my head was screaming at me not to go.
She said and gently pulled me near
If you want to talk give me a call
And it's not your fault.
Gippal pulled me closer to him, and gently placed his hands on my waist, his hands warm through the red velvet material of my strapless dress. I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck. My mind was sill arguing with my heart, but my heart was winning in our close proximity.
I just smiled and said let go of me
But there's something that I've just gotta know
Did someone else steal my part
She said it's not my fault
My head finally stopped it's protesting and started listening to the music, relating it to my life. Someone else did steel my part, Atalia, and he basically said that it wasn't my fault, that's just the situation I was born into.
Then my heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too.
I had closed my heart to the world. I found it odd that I could relate my life to a song I never heard before.
"Rikku?" Gippal said in my ear.
"Mmm" I replied lost in the music and our closeness.
"I'm really sorry. I know I screwed up, and I know sorry's not enough, but I am sorry, with all of my being."
I was drifting in between
Like I was on the outside looking in, yeah, yeah
In my dreams you are still here
Like you've always been
"You really hurt me Gippal. My heart was shattered, and because of you, because of what you did, I built a wall around my heart. I didn't let anyone in, and I didn't let anyone know. I loved my friends and family, but no one else." I responded
Oh yeah, my heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too
"I know and I kicked myself mentally for years, I did nothing but berate myself. I tortured myself for what I did to you. I had hoped to make things right the times you came to Djose, but the second time when I mentioned that we were once a couple and you shoved me, I realized that you were still bitter towards me and so I dropped the subject, merely laughing it off, to save face.
I gave myself away completely
But you just couldn't see me
Though I was sleeping in your bed
'Cause someone else was one your mind
In your head.
"Of course I was still mad, Gippal. I had put my heart and soul into our relationship, and towards the end it seemed like you didn't care. I gave all of myself to you (AN: Not in the way it sounds you perverts. lol), and all it seemed like you cared about was Atalia.
When I came back she wasn't there
Just a note left on the stairs
If you want to talk give me a call
"I had wanted to call you so many times, just to talk to you, to hear your voice. But I never had the courage to do so." Gippal said.
"So did I." I replied
My heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too
The last part of the song was lost to me as I felt Gippal pull away from me slightly. I looked up to see him staring at me. I stared back and noticed his head start to lean a bit closer to mine. I moved my head to meet his.
When his lips met mine a flood of emotions and feelings came rushing back. The full force of my love for him came flooding back as I realized just how much I loved him and needed.
I parted my lips to allow his tongue to explore my mouth. I returned his kiss feverishly, realizing how much I had missed this.
He broke the kiss after a few minutes. I leaned my head against his chest as he leaned his head on mine.
"I love you Rikku."
"I love you too Gippal, more than you know."
A/N: well how did you all like it? Please be honest. I want to know how my first one shot really was. Please read and review.