DON'T READ THIS! THIS IS A DEPRESSING CHAPTER!

NOTE: I haven't read the Grim Grotto yet so DON'T TALK ABOUT IT TO ME OR I WILL PERSONALLY WRING YOUR NECK WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS! Moving on…

On every new chapter I will have a REVIEWER QUESTION. Here's this one: What is your opinion on the Harry Potter movies?

PearlGirl- I think they aren't nearly as good as the books. They're too short (I know they have to be, but they cut out almost all of my favorite chapter of the 3rd book) and I'm not fond of the actors who play Sirius and Lupin. Also HARRY DOES NOT HAVE BLUE EYES!! In the movie, they should say, "Harry, you look just like your father, but you have your Mother's eyes. Except, oddly enough, yours are blue."

Chapter two

"Doesn't Ron like the rock cakes?" Hagrid asked. He, Mr. Fudge and the Potter orphans were all sitting around a wooden table, each with a plate that held a circular lump of hard, brown dough. Harry assumed that Hagrid was referring to these rather stonish things when he referred to the "rock cakes" because Ron hadn't touched his. Neither had any of them, for that matter.

"Oh." Hermione exclaimed. "I didn't know if we should eat them." She neglected to mention that they looked as though only rabid wolves should eat them.

"Of course!" Hagrid boomed. "That's what they're there for! My secret recipe!"

Harry gulped. He wondered what the recipe was, and if it involved the phrase
"Let sit in cellar for 10-15 years."

Ron smiled faintly and picked up the rock cake. Everyone watched as he slowly brought it to his mouth and took a tiny bite. He chewed, and chewed, and chewed. "Very good, thank you, Mr. Hagrid." He winced, as he continued chewing.

"Knew you'd like it!" Hagrid exclaimed. "And none of that Mr. Hagrid stuff! Just Hagrid is perfectly fine! Or Uncle Hagrid." He smiled at Ron, who was still chewing. "Even my fellow dragonologists don't call me Mr. Hagrid."

"What are dragonologists?" Asked Harry.

"What do they call you?" Hermione asked.

"Where's the bathroom?" Ron asked, still chewing.

"Children!" Mr. Fudge exclaimed. "So many questions!"

"That's okay!" Hagrid cried. "I love questions! It shows smartness."

Hermione winced at the improper word, and longed to correct him and say "intelligence," but knew that would be rude.

"And guess what Dragonology is." Hagrid said.

Hermione waved her hand above her head and cried, "Pick me!"

Harry and Ron (who was still chewing) looked at her, surprised.

Hagrid chuckled. "Yes, Hermione?"

"It's the study of dragons." Hermione gave them her that-question-is-so-easy-even-a-half-a-snail-could-have-figured-it-out look. Ron glared his thank-you-miss-bossy-know-it-all look. Harry gave them his be-polite-we-don't-want-Hagrid-to-think-we're-giving-him-looks look.

"Excellent." Hagrid said. "Drgaons, dragons, dragons! I love dragons! Always have, always will! I circle the globe looking for different kinds to study in my special laboratory!"

"Is there someone to take care of the children while you 'circle the globe'?" Mr. Fudge inquired.

"What?" Hagrid asked. "Don't be silly! They can come with me! In ten and a half days we leave for the wilderness of Romania and I want all three of you with me!"

Harry's eyes grew wide with excitement. "You'd really take us?"

"Of course!" Hagrid cried. "You can help! Edgar, my top assistant, left an unexpected letter of resignation for me yesterday. I had to quickly hire another man, by the name of Nicolai, to take his place. He won't come for a week and I'm way behind in preparing!

Mr. Fudge frowned and sneezed into his handkerchief, as he so often did. After a minute of continuous sneezing, he said "Are you sure it's safe?"

"Yup." Hagrid nodded.

"That's brilliant!" Cried Ron, his mouth still full of rock cake. He suddenly grabbed his handkerchief and coughed into it. Then he asked, with his mouth now empty, "What's to prepare?"

"I need one person to think of a good, easy method of searching for the dragons. I was thinking of some sort of transportation. It's got to be fast and easy. Somebody's got to bewitch my magical cages so they'll hold the dragons and not melt, like one of the previous cages did. A last person needs to come up with a good strategy with spells to use to stun the dragons and get them in the cages."

"I know a lot about broomsticks." Harry said. "I could probably bewitch some to make them really good at flying. Maybe I could also spell the cages to attach to the broomsticks. That could be our method of transportation while we're searching for dragons."

"And I am very interested in spells." Hermione said. "I'd be happy to make some nice, fire-proof dragon cages."

"I'm good at strategies!" Ron said. "I could come up with good tactics and spells to use to stun the dragons."

"Great!" Hagrid exclaimed. "Knew you guys were smart!" Hagrid's face brightened as he stopped worrying about Edgar. I wish- and I'm sure you wish as well- that I could go back and warn Hagrid of the misfortune that would soon follow. But I simply can't, and that is that.

"Well, we'd better get started!" Hagrid said happily. "Why don't you say good-bye to Mr. Fudge."

The Potter orphans, who had been so scared when walking up to the door when they arrived, now ran excitedly to the car and opened the door for Mr. Fudge to get in.

Mr. Fudge turned to the children as he got into the car. "I'm sorry about the arrangements. I had never met Mr. Hagrid before, and, well..." He shifted uncomfortably. "Well, he was much… larger then I expected. If you children want, I could find a more suitable relative…"

"I think he's perfect." Harry said, expressing the opinions of all three siblings.

"Well," Mr. Fudge sneezed into his handkerchief. "If that's the way you feel. But you can always contact me in the Ministry of Magic! Good-bye!"

And the children watched his car roll down the driveway, past the dragon statues and into Stinky Street. They all waved, and when the car had banished from sight, they ran back to the house.

"Come on, kids!" Hagrid cried, when they had returned to the kitchen.

"Are you married?" Harry asked, out of the blue.

"Harr-y!" Hermione said shrilly. "That was so rude!"

"That's okay." Hagrid shrugged his massive shoulders. "Nope, and I never have been. I do know this lovely woman named Olympe, and we're good friends. Maybe someday…" Hagrid smiled, gazing dreamily.

I'm sorry to say that Hagrid never did marry Olympe, who is a very charming woman. She loved him from the first day they met, and cried for days when she learned that she would never see him again.

"Well, to business." Hagrid grew business-like. "Let's go to the Dragon Dungeon, shall we?"

"Yes!" Ron cried. "Please." He added, and Hagrid smiled. "Yer so polite. Just like yer parents. Actually, more like your mother. Your father was a right troublemaker, he was. But not mean. At least, not to me."

"You knew our parents?" Harry said, surprised, as Hagrid led them down a flight of stairs and into a hallways with rooms coming off them.

"These will be your rooms." Hagrid said, gesturing at the doors. "Pick whichever yeh like. But don' fight about it."

"We get our own rooms?" Hermione cried, gleefully. No more sleeping in the same room as her brothers.

"Sure, why not." Hagrid said. "I got so much space. I got this whole wonderful house. Used ta just have a small hut."

"Lord Voldemort made us share." Ron grumbled.

"I heard abou' him." Hagrid grimaced. "Powerful, horrible wizard, that one."

Harry asked again, determined not to be ignored, "You knew our parents?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah I did." Hagrid replied. "I was working for the school they went to. Hogwarts? Yeh heard of it? They learned magic there."

The orphans nodded. They'd heard their parents talk about their school.

"Yeh look a lot like yer dad, Harry. But yeh have yer mother's eyes. She had lovely green ones." Hagrid told them.

Then they reached a large, black door. Hagrid pushed it opened with his huge hand and the door swung creakily op to reveal a huge dungeon, lit by torches. The children walked in, slowly, their footsteps echoing of the floor and walls.

What they saw was astonishing. Rows and rows of huge cells, all sturdy-looking and comfortable. Some had grass while others had dirt and pillows. But all of them contained dragons. All the dragons were different. Some were mean, and some looked actually quite tame. One was blowing smoke rings out of its nose. Some were blue, others were red, and one was a sleek black. There was one cell that had red curtains in front of the bars, so you couldn't see the dragon inside it. Most were huge, but one was very small and black and appeared to be a baby. When they had reached the other end, they saw something that made them, if possible, even more ecstatic, a word which here means so happy they felt they could walk on air. It was an enormous collection of books, even bigger than their library at home, and madam Hooch's library. Madame Hooch was a lady whom they had the pleasure of being neighbors with when they lived with Lord Voldemort. There were red books and blue books, old books and new books. There were scrolls and some books that looked alive. Some of the titles read The Monster Book of Monsters, The Care and Feeding of a Norwegian Ridgeback, Men Who Love Dragons Too Much, and An Introduction to Immense, Fire-Breathing Creatures.

"This is awesome." Harry said, breaking the silence.

"Totally." Hermione agreed.

"It's brilliant!" Ron exclaimed for the third time that day.

"Well, I have spent my whole life putting it together." Hagrid said, smiling. "Starting first thing tomorrow morning, all of us will be here every day to begin Romania preparations. Harry will gather up my broomsticks, clean them, bewitch them and get them ready. Hermione will charm my special dragon carrying cages to make them comfortable and fireproof. Ron will look up defenses and spells in my library and take notes. Then we will have supper and go out and watch a play at the Ned H. Rirger Theater. They have some really good ones. Sound good?"

The Potter orphans looked at one another. Sound good? Compared to living with Lord Voldemort, sleeping in one room, sharing one bed, making dinner, putting up with his drunk friends, enduring his smelly breath and almost getting one's fortune stolen, spending the day working in the Dragon Dungeon sounded like heaven. They gazed around the dungeon and smiled, knowing their lives were definitely getting better. Unfortunately, they didn't know that soon they would be even more miserable than when they had been with Lord Voldemort, but there's no need for us to spoil their happiness by telling them this.

"Yes, yes, yes!" The orphans cried together, answering Hagrid's question.

"Good, good, good!" Hagrid smiled. "Now it's getting late- "

"Wait, I have one question." Ron interrupted.

"Yes?" Hagird asked.

"What's in the cell with the red curtain?"

Hagrid looked at the cell, then at the orphans and smiled a huge grin. "That is my latest catch." His huge chest swelled proudly. "Next month I will present my fellow…er, co-workers with my find. Most of them also deal with dragons, though some work with other animals. You can look at it if yeh want."

The Potter children gathered round, excited. Hagrid swept open the curtains majestically. In the cell there lay an enormous emerald green dragon with shinning black eyes. Its scales reflected different shades of green with the flickering light of the torches. The children watched it, terrified yet in awe.

"This is the Extremely Dangerous Lizard." Hagird said. "I captured it, so I get to name it."

The children backed away, but Hagrid laughed. "Don't worry, the cage is fire-proof. It's perfectly safe."

Then the Extremely Dangerous Lizard did something quite unexpected. With one flick of its sharp tail, it sliced through the lock of the cell and the door fell to the floor. Then it inhaled and blew a huge flame of fire directly at Ron. The youngest Potter screamed as his whole body became engulfed in flames of fire.

REVIEWER NOTES

ERMonkey, Burner of Cookies- I know for a fact that there are going to be 13 books in the series. I read it in some magazine. Anyway, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I HAVEN'T READ THE GRIM GROTTO YET SO BE QUIET!!!!! Yup, Sunny would definitely like rock cakes. But, since Ron isn't a baby…

elvengirl9- Well you see, I don't want you to read this, but if you're going to, you might as well review. Yeah, Lemony really does babble on about how sad things are. I don't have the patience or the time for that. Anyway, here's my next chapter!! You'll have to read and find out if Hagrid dies!!

RockSunner- Glad you liked my story! Yes, Hagrid and Montgomery do fit together, don't they?

Visualpurple- Hey, S! Call me anytime! I love talking to you! Did you get my e-mail? I can't wait to see the movie with you! I'll try to find time to call you over Thanksgiving. What are you doing? We're having my dad's graduate students over. Most of them are Asian and they don't have anywhere else to go for the holiday. They bring all sorts of cool, weird food.

Spinereader- Yeah, I know. I mean, Ronald Potter? Hermione Potter? That sounds really weird. But, well, it's interesting, isn't it? I can imagine Ron and Harry as brothers, but it still seems weird to have Hermione and Ron as siblings, especially since I think they make a good ship.

Ignotus-Veritas- Interesting pen name. What's it supposed to mean? I still haven't read the Grim Grotto (see note at beginning of sad story) yet and I'm going to die!!!! I'm getting it for Christmas! That's so far away!

Previously known as neg-meg- Hmmmmm. Neg-meg. Glad you liked the character matching. It's really fun to do. Thanks for reviewing!

WhiskersIsMyCat- I used to have a kitty named Lucky, but we found out my brother was allergic so we gave him back to the previous owner. Hope you liked the chapter!

DON'T READ, BUT REVIEW!!!