Chapter Three
I am very, very sorry to leave you hanging like that for so long, but while I was writing, I realized I was late for a formal dinner party given by my friend, Miss Tonks. Miss Nymphadora Tonks is a good friend, an excellent metamorphmagus and a fine dueler, but she turns her eyes big, glaring and red if you arrive even five minutes later then you're supposed to. She also grows long nails and makes slashing movements with them against her throat, while glaring at you with her red eyes. It's not pleasant.
You must have thought, from the previous chapter, that Ron had died, and that this was the terrible thing that was to happen to the Potters during their stay at Hagrid's. But you would be wrong. It is not Ron who is going to die.
As the flames came from the mouth of the Extremely Dangerous Lizard, Harry and Hermione watched as Ron screamed and held his hands out in front of him, as if they would protect him. Hermione let out a whimper and Harry's eyes grew big, but not red and glaring, as he watched his brother's head disappear in flames.
But then, after a second, the flames ceased and the Potter siblings saw that their brother wasn't burned at all. Not even his red hair was singed. Ron looked frightened and amazed, but not dead.
Then all the Potters looked at Hagrid, who was laughing loudly.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Hagird cried. "Yeh musta been right scared! Don' yeh worry. The Extremely Dangerous Lizard is one 'o the least dangerous an' most friendly creatures in the animal kingdom! Its flame isn't even hot! It could'n light a match on fire!"
The Potters watched in amazement as the dragon whipped out its spiked tail again and wrapped it around Ron. It squeezed him gently, and then let go. Ron smiled nervously at it.
"Heh heh. Good dragon."
"Why in the world did you call it the Extremely Dangerous Lizard?" Hermione asked.
Hagrid smiled. "It's a…I forget the word. It's word that means 'a very wrong name'."
"A misnomer?" Hermione asked.
"Yup, that'd be it." Hagrid nodded. "I got ter name it. I'm going ter give my….er…co-workers a good scare! I'll say somethin' like this: 'Friends, I wan' yeh teh meet my new discovery, the Extremely Dangerous Lizard, which I found in- Aaaaaaiiii! It's escaped!"
Hagrid laughed. "Then they'll get scared til they realize the fire can't burn a fly."
Harry and Ron looked at each other and laughed. They thought Hagrid's prank was a good one. Hermione pursed her lips, but said nothing.
"Are there dragons in this room that are dangerous?" Ron asked, looking around warily at the other cages.
"'O course!" Hagrid exclaimed. "Yeh can' study dragons for years an' not meet some deadly ones. I got a friend ter bewitch some jars so I can collect samples of the dragon's fire. That way I can study 'em. There is one dragon in here that can shoot fire with such accuracy as to blast people off broomsticks if they fly too close, trying to get their eggs. There's another dragon that could smell yer shampoo from 50 feet away. An' there's a pair o' dragons who've learned to ride a broomstick so recklessly that they'd crash holes through your house and not even say they're sorry. But all of those dragons are in bewitched cages. I promise yeh that if yeh learn the facts, yeh won' get hurt here in the Dragon Dungeon."
There is a type of situation in this book that is referred to as "dramatic irony." This is when a character says something that later contrasts with what actually happens. For instance, if you said, "I can't wait for potions class to begin," when the students sitting around you know that the teacher is about to give you detention for no reason, this is dramatic irony.
As we listen to Rubeus Hagrid saying that no harm will come to the children in the Dragon Dungeon, we can feel the uncomfortable fluttering sensation in our stomach that always accompanies dramatic irony. For no matter how happy the children felt, you and I both know that soon someone will die and the Potters will be miserable again.
During that following week, however, the Potters felt the happiest they had ever felt since their parents' death. Each morning they got dressed in their own rooms. Harry picked a room with old Quiddich posters on the wall and a bedspread covered in broomsticks. Hermione picked a room with a book-filled bookcase and a comfortable chair and desk for working at. Ron picked a room with a chessboard and a nice table for playing it at.
Each morning, after a yummy breakfast, cooked for them by the bewitched stove, they would walk down the stairs to the Dragon Dungeon. There they joined Hagrid, who always started work early. Harry would clean the broomsticks with Hagrid's broom servicing kit and bewitch them to fly. He also added a spell that made them invisible when necessary, plus he wrapped soft towels around part of the broom so sitting on them would be more comfortable. Hermione went over to a bunch of cages and began bewitching them and cleaning them. Ron sat down in the library and read books like "Surviving Dragon Encounters.", trying to find good spells to use against them.
But what the youngsters liked most was learning about the various dragons from Hagrid. He told them all about the Swedish Short-snout, a bluish dragon that had tiny eyes in the back of its head, allowing it to see better. They met the Chinese Fireball, a red dragon that could imitate human speech in a low, hissing voice. Hagrid taught them how to make sure not to get a Hissing Dragon mad, and what to wear if you go hunting for a Welsh Green. He showed them they should never give a Norwegian Ridge back a teddy bear or show a Hungarian Horntail the color maroon.
Hagrid would also tell them interesting stories about the various wizards, dragons, witches, and Muggles he'd met on his journeys. Before too long, the Potters were talking too. They talked about their parents and what life was like before the fire. Hagrid even told them a few funny stories about their parents, because he was gamekeeper at Hogwarts, the wizarding school they had gone to.Hagrid was also constantly talking about Olympe, his traveling partner. The Potters often wondered where she was now, but couldn't bring themselves to ask. They hoped they would get to meet her.
After dinner they would cram themselves in Hagrid's jeep and go see a play at the Ned H. Rirger Theater.
One morning, however, the children arrived at the Dragon Dungeon and found a note from Hagrid. It read, in barely legible writing,
Harry, Hermione and Ron
I hafta drive into the town ta buy a lota stuff from our trip to Romania. Specifically: Romania slug repellant, Bertie Botts Beans, some good fire-proof coats for us (my old ones got kinda burned) and a tent. I won't except ta be back til 'round dinner.
Nicolai, Edger's replacement will be arriving by taxi. Show him ta his room and let him have some o' my rock cakes. I'm sure he'll like 'um. Only two days 'til our expedition!
Hagrid
"Taxi?" Ron asked.
"It's Muggle transportation, Ron." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Weren't you listening during Dad's lecture on Muggle transport?"
"No." Ron shrugged.
"How'd you pass the test he gave us, then?" Hermione asked.
"I said I had to go to the bathroom. Then I ran upstairs and looked up the answeres in the textbook." Ron smiled, remembering.
Hermione glared at him.
"Hey, that's my studying strategy!" Harry exclaimed. "You sole my technique!"
Hermione pursed her lips and said, "We really should get to work."
They all agreed and settled down for a quiet morning in the Dragon Dungeon. The Potters should savor this moment because it was the last peaceful time they would have in Hagrid's house. Then the doorbell ran, singling the beginning of their misery.
"There's the new assistant." Harry said, finishing bewitching one broom.
"Yes." Hermione nodded, looking up from a large cage. "I hope he's nice." She said, as they walked upstairs to the front door.
"I'm sure he is, since Hagrid hired him," Ron said. Can you feel the fluttering sensation in your stomach? That feeling of dramatic irony? I can as I write this.
When they opened the door, there was a very tall, thin man standing on the doorstep. Their eyes traveled up his brown, tasteless suit to his stubby nose and smile, which looked as though he had just told a joke. His eyes were red and glaring, but also very shiny. He also had a long brown beard, no eyebrows and blackish-gray hair.
"Hello, Potters." He sneered at them. "We meet again- I mean, are you the Potters? Hagrid told me about you."
"How do you do?" Harry asked, listening to his cold voice and wincing, because it sounded so familiar.
"How do you do?" Hermione asked, and looked into his red rimmed eyes and then looking quickly away, feeling the shiver of recognition.
"How do you do?" Ron asked. Then he looked down at the man's sockless feet and saw something on his ankle that gave his a vague feeling of déjà vu.
Then, simultaneously, the Potters stepped back from the man who was calling himself Nicholai. They looked at him again and knew this man shouldn't be in the house, shouldn't be talking to them and shouldn't' be calling himself Hagrid's assistant. He may have shaved off his one eyebrow and grown a beard and dyed it, but there was no way he could hide the tattoo of a skull on his ankle.
REVIEWER NOTES
RikkuHermione- I'm glad you liked it. I'm not going to bring the Baudelaires into the story because it's the Lemony Snicket plot but only Harry Potter characters.
Anonymous- Yeah, it is sort of a weird idea.
Rusty Shackleford- Figures that the films aren't as good. I haven't seen the movie yet, but from the preview it didn't look that great. The only funny part was when Count Olaf had to look at his hands to remember the orphan's names. That cracked me up.
Ignotus-Veritas- I like your name! Don't change it unless you really want to. Yeah, I know it's really sad that I haven't read the Grim Grotto yet. I have to wait for Christmas. Sniff, sniff. Oh well. It will make the moment when I can read it even better. I read the books to the rest of my family as we drive, usually on a skiing trip. It's so hard not to read it all in one day.
Queenofinsanity- Don't tell me about the Grim Grotto! I'll update, I swear! Which ones? Right now the only stories I'm doing are this one and the one I'm doing with my sis, Alania. I can't do the Reeses one because I haven't read the book yet! Everyone's reviewing and telling me to add more characters, but I can't!
REVIEW AND MERRY CHRIS-HAN-RAM-KUA-MAS! PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!! Feel free to mail me candy or anything else you feel the desire to get rid of. Or you can just give me a NICE REVIEW as a PRESENT!!!!!!!!!!!