A/N: Be warned, there are spoilers from chapter 97 mentioned in this ficcy! Read at your own risk!
Disclaimer: Don't we all wish we owned the Mabudachi Trio? But that privelege belongs to Takaya-sensei.
No Comfort
Shigure told me it was all right.
"There'll be other women," he said, forcing a smile, and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he already had one in mind. It wouldn't have been Shigure if he didn't. Still, he knew I was in pain. He knew the feeling of being rejected by the one he loves, being cut off from her completely. He would pat me on the back and gave me sympathetic looks, doing so even for months after I began to heal. He tried to make the best out of it all, and tried in vain to make me laugh again; always telling me, "It'll be all right, Haa-san. It'll be all right."
Kureno told me he was sorry.
"I can't tell you the depth of my regret," he said mournfully. I knew he was sincere; it was a rare occasion when he wasn't. I don't know what he was sorry for, honestly. I suppose it was that he felt responsible for Akito's actions, but he really couldn't have done anything to stop it. Forgiveness was easy to give him, because I didn't blame him at all. But still, whenever I saw him after that, he'd give me guilty and sorrowful look that said he wished he could have done something more; that said, "I'm so sorry Hatori-nii. I'm sorry."
Akito told me I didn't need her.
"She was a stupid, conceited girl, and she wanted to forget you anyway," she said, keeping up her self-righteous act. Perhaps that was her own way of comforting me, by trying to make me hate her. Perhaps it was just a way to convince herself that she had done the right thing. I'd merely nod when she spoke this way, telling her she was right, of course. I'd lie to her, telling her I believed her when I knew not a word of it was true. That's when I started forcing myself to heal, so everyone would think I didn't need her after all. So that Akito wouldn't speak badly about her when I was dejected. So that she'd be pleased "See? You didn't need her, Hatori. You didn't need her."
Ayame told me he would always love me.
"Even when the world has abandoned you, Gure and I will still be here," he said softly. He always said things like that, truly believing that they would heal me. Always trying to comfort me, holding me in his arms and repeating over and over again how much he cared for me. He didn't know what I was going through, hadn't experienced pain like the rest of us. But he hoped that he could make it better by reminding me that there were still others who loved me, when she was gone; constantly repeating those words, "I still love you, Tori-san. I'll always love you."
They were all thoughtful, comforting me in their own ways. Because of them, I was able to go on. But on the inside, I will never heal.
How could it be all right, when she made things all right?
How could you apologize, when she deserved an apology for her ruined life?
How could I not need her, when I can't stop thinking about her every day?
How could anybody love me more than she did?
I am so grateful that they care. But in my friends and family, there is no comfort.
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A/N: Poor Ha'ri. Every time I see him, I wanna cry. HE'S SO DAMN SAD! T.T So…if you read this, please leave a review!
